Americans vs. Canadians vs. British - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

MikeyChalupa · 05-06-2003, 07:04 PM

Have you ever been confronted with "Canadians are just like
Americans. What's the difference?" Here are *some* answers.

Canadians:
Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans:
Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits:
Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Americans:
Care very deeply about civil rights & preserving them; to extreme degrees in some cases.
Canadians:
Couldn't care less about these things, especially when "I have nothing to hide." More concerned about an *orderly* society than a free one.

Americans:
Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
Canadians:
Believe that that's the government's job.

Americans:
Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians:
Can't agree on the words to their anthem -- *when* they can be bothered to sing them, that is.

Americans:
Are deeply religious, or make a strong point of posturing as such.
Canadians:
Are somewhat less religious, and keep it to themselves.

Canadians:
Do their best to be polite to others.
Americans:
Rudeness is more efficient.

Americans:
Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians:
Don't, but only because they can't get the same channels Americans can.

Americans:
Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits:
Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
Canadians:
Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.

Americans:
Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and
basketball.
Brits:
Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians:
Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.

Americans:
Are loud, boisterous, obnoxious as tourists.
Canadians:
Are polite, low-profile, sensitive (perhaps even timid) tourists.

Americans:
Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits:
Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
Canadians:
Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.

Americans:
Are afraid to walk the street of their large cities at night.
Canadians:
Are unafraid to walk the streets of their cities.
Brits:
Sensibly stay home at night instead of going out.

Americans:
Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country.
Canadians:
Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country.

Americans:
Tend to think that guns are very cool, and fun too.
Canadians:
Aren't quite sure how they work. Safer and easier to make them illegal.

Americans:
Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians:
Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits:
Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited.

Americans:
Are awed by wealth and success.
Canadians:
Are awed by correctness and mediocrity.

Canadians:
Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways, and avoid assimilation.
Americans:
Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly, and dump their old ways.
Brits:
Encourage immigrants to go to Canada or America.

Americans:
Are disliked everywhere in the world, with the exception of Canada.
Canadians:
Are tolerated everywhere in the world; frequently even liked -- with the exception of America, Somalia, and other places where the Airborne have been.

Canadians:
Endure bitterly cold winters, and are proud of it.
Brits:
Endure oppressively wet & dreary winters, and are proud of it.
Americans:
Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.

Canadians:
Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Lorne Michaels (SNL producer), Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox, Michael O'Donohue (SNL writer), Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans:
Think that these people are American!
Brits:
Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humour.

Brits:
Are obsessed with the Queen, and royal family peccadillos.
Americans:
Are obsessed with the President, his family, and even their cat!
Canadians:
Would gladly settle for Prince Charles having an affair with a Canadian girl.

-Mikey

mirevolver · 05-06-2003, 07:58 PM

It's true, its all true. And yes, rudeness is more efficient.

maximusveritas · 05-06-2003, 10:21 PM

Jim Carrey's not American?
Guilty as charged.

YELLOW450 · 05-07-2003, 06:43 AM

very true, i like the rudeness part, works every time!!

icy_ca · 05-07-2003, 07:15 AM

hockey, hockey, hockey and two world series in a non sport!

Crooky · 05-07-2003, 11:41 AM

Mikey,

I forgot to tell you last year but I adopted a cat and named him after you.

Love,
Crooky

MikeyChalupa · 05-09-2003, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Crooky
Mikey,

I forgot to tell you last year but I adopted a cat and named him after you.

Love,
Crooky

I'm honored! Got a picture of it?

-Mikey

bender · 05-09-2003, 10:07 AM

It's all true, so were nice.

duckduck · 05-09-2003, 07:59 PM

Funny, but this one's a bit off:

Americans:
Tend to think that guns are very cool, and fun too.
Canadians:
Aren't quite sure how they work. Safer and easier to make them illegal.

Seeing as I have my PAL (Possession and Acquisition License), I'm legally allowed to buy and have firearms. Everyone seems to think of Canada as a country without firearms, but in reality it has about 1 for every man, woman, and child (30 million). These aren't all registered, however.

I know, I know: I should have just read the bloody joke

Mad_Gecko · 05-10-2003, 03:41 AM

Tourism:
Brits,
Goto to countries they have previously fought wars with, get pissed, behave like they never would at home, and wonder why the locals hate them

MaciasAIII · 06-21-2003, 07:22 PM

i gotta quick little joke involving Uncle Sam, Saddam and a Canadian

Uncle Sam, a Canadian and Saddam Hussein all find a genie lamp and rub it. a genie pops out and says "I’ll grant you each one wish" the Canadian thought for a second, and said i want the Canadians to be good at SOMETHING.. Why not make the expos win the World Series. *POOF* genie says it is done. Saddam says "I want a wall around Iraq to keep the Jews and infidels out of my sacred country. *poof there was a wall round Iraq. Uncle Sam (a former civil engineer) thinks for a sec, and asks the genie "give me the specs on this wall" the genie says "its about 15000 feet high and 1000 feet thick. It’s virtually impenetrable." Uncle Sam does some quick math. After about 2 minutes he says “fill it with water"

05-06-2003, 07:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Americans vs. Canadians vs. British Have you ever been confronted with "Canadians are just like Americans. What's the difference?" Here are some answers. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad. Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. Americans: Care very deeply about civil rights & preserving them; to extreme degrees in some cases. Canadians: Couldn't care less about these things, especially when "I have nothing to hide." More concerned about an orderly society than a free one. Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness. Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem -- when they can be bothered to sing them, that is. Americans: Are deeply religious, or make a strong point of posturing as such. Canadians: Are somewhat less religious, and keep it to themselves. Canadians: Do their best to be polite to others. Americans: Rudeness is more efficient. Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box. Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get the same channels Americans can. Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box. Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans. Canadians: Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them. Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball. Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby. Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball. Americans: Are loud, boisterous, obnoxious as tourists. Canadians: Are polite, low-profile, sensitive (perhaps even timid) tourists. Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English." Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English." Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans. Americans: Are afraid to walk the street of their large cities at night. Canadians: Are unafraid to walk the streets of their cities. Brits: Sensibly stay home at night instead of going out. Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country. Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country. Americans: Tend to think that guns are very cool, and fun too. Canadians: Aren't quite sure how they work. Safer and easier to make them illegal. Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect. Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited. Americans: Are awed by wealth and success. Canadians: Are awed by correctness and mediocrity. Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways, and avoid assimilation. Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly, and dump their old ways. Brits: Encourage immigrants to go to Canada or America. Americans: Are disliked everywhere in the world, with the exception of Canada. Canadians: Are tolerated everywhere in the world; frequently even liked -- with the exception of America, Somalia, and other places where the Airborne have been. Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters, and are proud of it. Brits: Endure oppressively wet & dreary winters, and are proud of it. Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less. Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Lorne Michaels (SNL producer), Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox, Michael O'Donohue (SNL writer), Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV. Americans: Think that these people are American! Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humour. Brits: Are obsessed with the Queen, and royal family peccadillos. Americans: Are obsessed with the President, his family, and even their cat! Canadians: Would gladly settle for Prince Charles having an affair with a Canadian girl. -Mikey

05-06-2003, 07:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
mirevolver Inspired by the mind's eye. Location: Between the darkness and the light.	It's true, its all true. And yes, rudeness is more efficient. __________________ Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

05-07-2003, 07:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
icy_ca Insane Location: Steel Town, Ontario	hockey, hockey, hockey and two world series in a non sport! __________________ After all is said and done, more is said than done.

05-07-2003, 11:41 AM	#6 (permalink)
Crooky Upright Location: Canada	Mikey, I forgot to tell you last year but I adopted a cat and named him after you. Love, Crooky __________________ "Doors aren't like assholes! They don't shut themselves!"

05-09-2003, 07:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
duckduck Psycho Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant	Funny, but this one's a bit off: Americans: Tend to think that guns are very cool, and fun too. Canadians: Aren't quite sure how they work. Safer and easier to make them illegal. Seeing as I have my PAL (Possession and Acquisition License), I'm legally allowed to buy and have firearms. Everyone seems to think of Canada as a country without firearms, but in reality it has about 1 for every man, woman, and child (30 million). These aren't all registered, however. I know, I know: I should have just read the bloody joke __________________ Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!

05-06-2003, 10:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
maximusveritas Winner	Jim Carrey's not American? Guilty as charged.

05-07-2003, 06:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
YELLOW450 Tilted	very true, i like the rudeness part, works every time!!

05-09-2003, 10:07 AM	#8 (permalink)
bender Addict Location: around the corner	It's all true, so were nice.

05-10-2003, 03:41 AM	#10 (permalink)
Mad_Gecko Pro Libertate Location: City Gecko	Tourism: Brits, Goto to countries they have previously fought wars with, get pissed, behave like they never would at home, and wonder why the locals hate them __________________ [color=bright blue]W[/color]e Stick To Glass "If three of us travel together, I shall find two teachers." Confucious

06-21-2003, 07:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
MaciasAIII Banned Location: 3rd shithole on the left	i gotta quick little joke involving Uncle Sam, Saddam and a Canadian Uncle Sam, a Canadian and Saddam Hussein all find a genie lamp and rub it. a genie pops out and says "I’ll grant you each one wish" the Canadian thought for a second, and said i want the Canadians to be good at SOMETHING.. Why not make the expos win the World Series. POOF genie says it is done. Saddam says "I want a wall around Iraq to keep the Jews and infidels out of my sacred country. *poof there was a wall round Iraq. Uncle Sam (a former civil engineer) thinks for a sec, and asks the genie "give me the specs on this wall" the genie says "its about 15000 feet high and 1000 feet thick. It’s virtually impenetrable." Uncle Sam does some quick math. After about 2 minutes he says “fill it with water"