MikeyChalupa

Have you ever been confronted with "Canadians are just like
Americans. What's the difference?" Here are *some* answers.



Canadians:
Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans:
Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits:
Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.


Americans:
Care very deeply about civil rights & preserving them; to extreme degrees in some cases.
Canadians:
Couldn't care less about these things, especially when "I have nothing to hide." More concerned about an *orderly* society than a free one.


Americans:
Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
Canadians:
Believe that that's the government's job.


Americans:
Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians:
Can't agree on the words to their anthem -- *when* they can be bothered to sing them, that is.


Americans:
Are deeply religious, or make a strong point of posturing as such.
Canadians:
Are somewhat less religious, and keep it to themselves.


Canadians:
Do their best to be polite to others.
Americans:
Rudeness is more efficient.


Americans:
Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians:
Don't, but only because they can't get the same channels Americans can.


Americans:
Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits:
Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
Canadians:
Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.


Americans:
Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and
basketball.
Brits:
Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians:
Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.


Americans:
Are loud, boisterous, obnoxious as tourists.
Canadians:
Are polite, low-profile, sensitive (perhaps even timid) tourists.


Americans:
Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits:
Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
Canadians:
Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.


Americans:
Are afraid to walk the street of their large cities at night.
Canadians:
Are unafraid to walk the streets of their cities.
Brits:
Sensibly stay home at night instead of going out.


Americans:
Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country.
Canadians:
Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country.


Americans:
Tend to think that guns are very cool, and fun too.
Canadians:
Aren't quite sure how they work. Safer and easier to make them illegal.


Americans:
Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians:
Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits:
Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited.


Americans:
Are awed by wealth and success.
Canadians:
Are awed by correctness and mediocrity.


Canadians:
Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways, and avoid assimilation.
Americans:
Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly, and dump their old ways.
Brits:
Encourage immigrants to go to Canada or America.


Americans:
Are disliked everywhere in the world, with the exception of Canada.
Canadians:
Are tolerated everywhere in the world; frequently even liked -- with the exception of America, Somalia, and other places where the Airborne have been.


Canadians:
Endure bitterly cold winters, and are proud of it.
Brits:
Endure oppressively wet & dreary winters, and are proud of it.
Americans:
Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.


Canadians:
Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Lorne Michaels (SNL producer), Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox, Michael O'Donohue (SNL writer), Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans:
Think that these people are American!
Brits:
Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humour.


Brits:
Are obsessed with the Queen, and royal family peccadillos.
Americans:
Are obsessed with the President, his family, and even their cat!
Canadians:
Would gladly settle for Prince Charles having an affair with a Canadian girl.


-Mikey