Men over Women Jokes - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sexodus · 09-22-2003, 05:27 PM

Q) why did the women cross the road?

A) Who cares what was she doing out of the Kitchen!

~~~~~

Q) what do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?

A) Smack her and tell her to get back to work!

~~~~~

A women was wonderinf in the desert for a long time.
she came accross a Lamp.
when she picked it up and cleaned it off a Genie came out!
He said
"I will grant u 3 wishes"
She said ok and after pondering for a while she said
"I wish I was a Hundred times smarter"
he said
"ok"
*POOF* she was a Hundred times smarter
She said
"Wow i really like this i feel so smart i wish i was a million times smarter"
he said
"OK"
*POOF* she was a million times smarter
she said
"WOW i feel so smart i can think of everything at the same time i can figure all math and any problems that come my way..."
"i wish i was a billion times smarter"
she said after thinking for a while
The Genie said
"are u sure"
she said
"why of course i then would be able to do anything"
he said
"OK your wish"
*POOF*
She turned into a MAN

~~~~~

Q) How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A) who cares let the bit*h cook in the dark!

Flesh · 09-22-2003, 05:44 PM

haha!

Flesh · 09-22-2003, 05:48 PM

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

All in good fun

Shpoop · 09-22-2003, 05:56 PM

Why cant women ski?

because theres no snow in the kitchen!

Why should you never get your wife a watch for a present?

theres a clock on the stove!

Sexodus · 09-22-2003, 05:59 PM

I love the Skiing joke!
I am a snowboarder so i will deff. have to use that one!

Keep them coming and of course Ladies its all in fun!

Latch · 09-23-2003, 03:45 AM

These are all in fun, I don't advocate the stuff it makes jokes out of!

Q: Why does the bride wear white?
A: So the dishwasher matches the fridge and the stove.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, the bitch better have it open when she brings it to you.

Q: What should you do if your wife is bitching to you while you're trying to watch TV in the living room?
A: Shorten her chain.

I have some more, but they get really offensive..

Ferrari · 09-23-2003, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Latch
I have some more, but they get really offensive..

Post them!

ph3r3d · 09-23-2003, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ferrari
Post them!

yeah! lol

WinterScar · 09-23-2003, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sexodus
I love the Skiing joke!
I am a snowboarder so i will deff. have to use that one!

Keep them coming and of course Ladies its all in fun!

I've heard a similar one,

Why can't women ski?

Because there's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Sexual innuendo

G_Lock · 09-23-2003, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ph3r3d
yeah! lol

I will third, fourth, etc. that. Please post.

scansinboy · 09-23-2003, 09:07 AM

Why are there so many battered women in America these days?

*Slapping palm with the back of other hand*
Because they JUST *slap* won't *slap* Listen! *Slap*

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you haven't told her twice already.

j/k I love women! (Except for one of my former roomates... bitch still owes me $437.28 Grrrr)

pancakerabbit · 09-23-2003, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by scansinboy
Why are there so many battered women in America these days?

*Slapping palm with the back of other hand*
Because they JUST *slap* won't *slap* Listen! *Slap*
...
former roomates... bitch still owes me $437.28 Grrrr)

Well, the solution should be obvious

CSflim · 09-23-2003, 12:48 PM

"Last edited by JadziaDax on 09-23-2003 at 11:08 AM"

Someone said something they shouldn't have!
Someone got Baleted!

CSflim · 09-23-2003, 12:55 PM

Washing
Ironing
Fucking
Etc.

09-22-2003, 05:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sexodus Banned Location: The Canyons - Boarding	Men over Women Jokes Q) why did the women cross the road? A) Who cares what was she doing out of the Kitchen! ~~~~~ Q) what do you do when your dishwasher breaks down? A) Smack her and tell her to get back to work! ~~~~~ A women was wonderinf in the desert for a long time. she came accross a Lamp. when she picked it up and cleaned it off a Genie came out! He said "I will grant u 3 wishes" She said ok and after pondering for a while she said "I wish I was a Hundred times smarter" he said "ok" POOF she was a Hundred times smarter She said "Wow i really like this i feel so smart i wish i was a million times smarter" he said "OK" POOF she was a million times smarter she said "WOW i feel so smart i can think of everything at the same time i can figure all math and any problems that come my way..." "i wish i was a billion times smarter" she said after thinking for a while The Genie said "are u sure" she said "why of course i then would be able to do anything" he said "OK your wish" POOF She turned into a MAN ~~~~~ Q) How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A) who cares let the bith cook in the dark! Last edited by JadziaDax; 09-23-2003 at 02:08 AM..*

09-23-2003, 09:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	Why are there so many battered women in America these days? Slapping palm with the back of other hand Because they JUST slap won't slap Listen! Slap What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't told her twice already. j/k I love women! (Except for one of my former roomates... bitch still owes me $437.28 Grrrr) __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

09-23-2003, 12:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	"Last edited by JadziaDax on 09-23-2003 at 11:08 AM" Someone said something they shouldn't have! Someone got Baleted! __________________ Last edited by CSflim; 09-23-2003 at 12:53 PM..

09-23-2003, 12:55 PM	#14 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	Washing Ironing Fucking Etc. __________________

09-22-2003, 05:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
Flesh Psycho	Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" Why do men die before their wives? They want to. All in good fun

09-22-2003, 05:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
Shpoop Curious Location: NJ (but just for college)	Why cant women ski? because theres no snow in the kitchen! Why should you never get your wife a watch for a present? theres a clock on the stove!

09-22-2003, 05:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sexodus Banned Location: The Canyons - Boarding	I love the Skiing joke! I am a snowboarder so i will deff. have to use that one! Keep them coming and of course Ladies its all in fun!

09-23-2003, 03:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	These are all in fun, I don't advocate the stuff it makes jokes out of! Q: Why does the bride wear white? A: So the dishwasher matches the fridge and the stove. Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, the bitch better have it open when she brings it to you. Q: What should you do if your wife is bitching to you while you're trying to watch TV in the living room? A: Shorten her chain. I have some more, but they get really offensive..