ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies
 

but, if you do ask, I'll tell the truth. or at least, the truth as I understand it.

you may begin

Are you wearing pants?

What is the meaning of life?

what is the meaning of pants?

When will it become illegal for fat chicks to wear low cut anything?

When will destrox learn to appreciate all titts and ass equally?

um... when will it become illegal for fat chicks?

No no, kidding.

What's up with Averett's avatar?

What's up with PredeconInferno's avatar?

why is it so hard to find a good plumber?

When are you going to reveal your amazing treasure trove of knowledge?

was this thread a big fat ruse?

are you off sitting back laughing your ass off at us asking questions? :(

why don't you hang in nonsense as much as you used to?

Who was the first person to ever eat a potato?

Do you get upset when people pronounce your name wrong, shee-on?

Is there really a god?

Will Destrox ever heal from his BURN marks?

sorry for the delay folks.


the answers in order:

1. yes, sweatpants
2. be nice to each other and try to have fun
3. pants were invented to cover the pasty white asses of European men. no one wants to look at that. never have, never will.
4. probably never, unfortunately. of course, the same thing could be said about fat guys in tank tops too.
5. all titts and ass are not created equal. sad but true. see answer #3.
6. I dont know, but its cool nonetheless.
7. Looks like a pretty girl who might possibly be engaged in some sort of sexual activity. I like it.
8. because plumbers have an innate tendency to hoard their knowledge. thus, apprentice plumbers have to learn by trial and error. so finding a good one is a lot like playing the lottery.
9. now
10. no
11. been busy with other things. for example, I recently doubled my collection of movies (bought a case of 180 dvd-rips on cd, $20, good deal) and have been trying to watch at least one or two a night.
12. I dont know, but it wouldnt surprise me if it was an Irish/Celtic person.
13. no, ignorance/stupidity doesnt upset me, but it does make me sad.
14. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
15. yes, but it will be a long, slow, painful process.



you may resume interrogation

Getting back to plumbers, what's the deal this "Plumber's Butt"? I've had three guys and one gal here at the house this week, and they all had it.

why do birds suddenly appear, every time, you are near?

will i ever make more than 2 posts a day?

mml: you can NOT pass your apprenticeship and become a full-fledged journeyman plumber without having developed a serious "plumbers moon". Union rules.


bernadette: because, just like me, they long to be, close to you. duh!


sadistikdreams: doubtful, but there is always hope. good luck.

What is God's middle name?

Who is my daddy?

mml: God's middle name is Herb. What did you THINK the H stood for?


bparker805: I am, of course.

why is it that some (and I stress SOME) men are idiots?

Burn marks? Naaa..

more like When will others actually say what they feel, and not just lie? I know damn well I am one of many many many ppl who felt the way I first questioned except I actually said it.. boo hoo.

Words shouldnt hurt people.

Do I look fat in this?

What's twelve by pies?

Can you suggest a question to ask? :D

cherriesue: in point of fact, most men, and women as well, are idiots. just a simple fact of life.

Destrox: people lie for a variety of reasons. but I think you are missing SixEdxMia's point.

Astrocloud: no, I think you look great in a love cult.

KWSN: flange

Fremen: I could, but what would be the point.

would you consider stepping up to the plate and wear pantyhose for us all?

I got one. Why do supermodels marry butt-ugly rock stars?

Can words hurt people if they are pointy words? Like Spork?

Spooooooooooooooooooooork!!

flyman: sure, I'll consider anything. as for actually doing it? sorry, but no fuckin way.

Fremen: it's either money or stupidity. take your pick

Averett: spork isnt a particularly pointy word. titty, though, now thats a word with lots of points. however, I wouldnt mind getting poked in the eye with a titty. a spork, on the other hand...


something tells me Fremen has had intimate relations with a spork. He seems WAY too excited by the word.

What do hippos have that no other animal does?

Why is orange?

4?

where did i go?

Why did I stare so long at bundy's avatar??

SixEdxMia: I've no idea. do tell.

mml: because clocks work.

KWSN: yes, 4.

bundy: down the hatch?

SixEdxMia: same reason I did.

¿Tienes pantalones?

are you implying that i was romantically involved with Richard Hatch (that tosser from Survivor)?

Should I go with a Colossus Blade or a Colossus Sword?

Could you please use the term 'fuck' in a sentence?

KWSN: I dont speak Spanish (?) but that looks like a question about pants. I do regularly, and currently am wearing pants. Does that answer your question?

bundy: I am implying nothing. I dont know where you went.

TheClarkster: neither. get a Colossus Dick.

Eugeni: I sure as fuck could.

Why is it that water doesn't taste like beer?

Could you use fuck in another sentence, please?

mml: that is proof that there is no God.

Eugenie: I could, but that would be fornicating redundant.

Why do I like this thread?

When will this "rap" & "pop" era of music go away!!!!!!

I was born into the heart of Rock 'n' Metal era and am very sad to see it publically leaving mainstream.

Will I ever find true love?

Eugeni: its all me baby.

Destrox: as soon as something new comes along. (id est: like how grunge replaced hair metal)

Rubyee: yes, I am sure of it.

What do you know about Catalonia?

Woohoo!

Tell me the intimate details of your sex life. This is not a question.

Why won't Jenny McCarthy return my phone calls?

Why do dogs piss on firehydrants?

Why do I have to pee so frequently?

Eugeni: not a damned thing.

Rubyee: indeed.

skier: just like on Jeopardy, all responses must be in the form of a question. just which intimate details would you like?

bparker805: for the same reason that Hugh Grant won't.

mml: try it once and you'll find out.

Redgirl: I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the quantity of liquid you intake daily vs the size of your bladder. or, you could have incontinence problems, in which case, see a doctor.

Sion, what's the color of hope?

Who are these two chicks?


<------

Which brand of hotdog do you prefer and how many in one setting?

Could you please tell me how to get there?

bernadette: almost the same shade as faith, just a bit lighter, but not nearly as bright as love.

Meridae'n: where'd you get that picture of my mom and sister?

Fremen: Ball park franks. one to a bun, please.

Eugeni: can't get there from here

Sion, how deep is your love? (The Bee-Gee's are asking this question right now, and I'd really like to have an answer for them.)
Thanks!

To go along with that^^, what was the joke heard 'round the world? :D

Yes, yes, of course! It started the whole world laughing! For god's sake, man, WHAT WAS IT!?

Redgirl: deeper than the deepest mountain, higher than the highest ocean.

Fremen: I feel like I should know what the hell yer talkin' 'bout, but I don't. Please enlighten me.

Sion, its another Bee Gee's song.

Ha! Stumpy-stumper-roo! :D
Look it up, mon ami.
bundy gave you a clue. ;)

Where is the?

KWSN: its in the.

How would you define him?

So, how about those nipples?

Eugeni: with words.

KWSN: whose?

When was the last time you did the nasty?

Is the rhythm really gonna get me?

Could you please define him avoiding the f word?

Why is there a sequel to 'Dirty Dancing'?, have I done something to offend God/Gods?

Priceless! :lol:

Good question, fhqwhgads. :p

Peetster: that depends on your definition of "the nasty". However, assuming the common definition, that would be about a 10 days ago. next projected commission of "the nasty" is T minus 45 mins.

fhqwhgads: if you use it as a method of birth control, YES.

Eugeni: him? is this the same "him" that KWSN was asking about (re: the nipples question)?

Kostya: if so, then there must have been an awful lot of us who offended the gods. IMO, however, it was just a case of some creatively bankrupt money-grubbers in Hollywood looking for an easy score.

let's put it that way

What is the common definition of 'the nasty'?

lol me, me, me, me,me, me, I'm a nasty girl ,oh pick me, say me lol Just playing around, I was called that tonight by my boyfriend hehehe.

I've got $100 burning a hole in my pocket. I was thinking of betting on the ponies. Who is your favorite horse?

Are there really aliens at Area 51?

If there can be a 'Dirty Dancing 2', does this imply the possibility of a 'Breakin III'?

Eugeni: the common definition of "the nasty" would be having sex. personally, I prefer the term "bumping uglies" or "making the beast with two backs" to "the nasty".

qtpye4u84: as you wish, from now on, you will be known as "NastyGirl".

Peetster: Mr. Ed and Future Glue are running neck and neck.

RedGirl: you think I would tell you if there were? ok, so I might, but then I'd have to kill you.

Kostya: I implore all of TFP to pray to whatever gods you hold holy that such a thing never happens.

let us pray.

what should you tell a girl you dig when approaching her?

Eugeni: I've always found "Hi" to be a really good start. try to smile when you say it, too.

Could we state that human inmortality is blatantly non-existent?

White, wheat, or potato bread?

what happens when they let the contestants know that Miriam is actually a bloke?

Eugeni: (assuming you meant iMmortality) says who? can you prove it? I refuse to believe in my own mortality until Im certified dead by a licensed MD. and even then, I'll only go on record as saying maybe.

WarWagon: depends on the meat.

bundy: Miriam is a guy???!?!?! wait, who the fuck is Miriam?

What makes your day for you?

I have two questions..

Who's bed have your boots been under?

and
The chicken the egg or the sock?

Eugeni: getting replies to my threads. and blowjobs.

SixEdxMia: I never put my boots under the bed. Not my own and not anyone else's either.

The sock, obviously.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

SixEdxMia: nothing a little deep dicking wont cure.