SaltPork

Ever been caught doing it? Alone or with someone.

I never have, a couple of close calls though. Been very fortunate, but with kids that are aware and mobile now, it's really just a matter of time.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

sierra2774

No, I don't think I have...Well now I am remembering a camper incident that might qualify for that, but we managed to get out of explaining what we were doing in there.

Not that they didn't know or anything. That was fun.

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"Every tomorrow brings new opportunities, challenges we must address...A chance to affirm all our wishes and dreams, to seek beauty and true happiness."

zf0enix

I had sex in the front seat of a car parked outside a friends house during a party (in the country). People kept coming out and looking in the windows and saying, "Oh MY GOD!!!" We were so blitzed we didn't care, I just kept flippin' them off.

Good times!

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One step closer to the edge...

Somenosuke

I have had one or two close calls, but I usually do it veerrryy late at night when everyone else is asleep.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

Atropos4

shortly after I moved in with alpha phi we went on vacation with my family to North Carolina (condo right next to the ocean) we hadn't had sex in what seemed like forever...when him, me, my sister and her b/f went shopping ..alpha phi bought me some black slinky lingerie....when we got back to the condo my sister was going to help her b/f dye his hair and everyone else (mom , dad, brother and his friend ) were gone...so we shut the 2 doors to the bedroom my sister and i were sharing and i put on my new outfit middle of alpha phi and I finally getting some . my sister opens up the bathroom door (connected to the bedroom) to grab a towel.....she squeeled and shut the door w/ out grabbing the towel..not more than 5 seconds later she opens it back up and says "sorry but i really need this towel" a few minutes later her b/f opens the door and asks "hey what are you guys doing?" of course they knew....the bed was right in front of the bathroom door....the whole thing was really exciting and funny to talk about later.....that vacation was the best vacation ever....

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World's King

Never been caught.


With as much as I play with myself it's a real surprise I haven't been caught.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

fhqwhgads

In highschool, I was getting it on with my girlfriend upstairs. Little did we know that the dog had snuck into the room, picked her underwear up off the floor, and then walked downstairs for all to see.

Try explaining your way outta that one...

liquid_dreams

never caught never well

RenegadeSoul

Never Caught, Too Stealthy muahaha

GuttersnipeXL

Me and my girlfriend got busted once...her mother wasn't supposed to be home until Sunday morning, not Saturday night! So there we were, really getting into it, and Whammo!! the door flys open...."Hi Honey!!" followed by the most violent "Oh my god!" that I've ever heard in my life...heart stopping I say. Her mother dissapeared into the other room, laughing hysterically. I wanted to jump out the window and never return to that house again. My girlfriend talked me into confronting her mother about the situation...(naturally I thought she had gone insane)...so we did, and she was still laughing...she actually gave us options!!! She said, "Well, you two can do one of three things. Come out here and have a drink with me, go for a walk, or go back in there and finish what ya started!" We quickly opted for the walk, and took off. She has always joked about it with us, It was definently cool she made light of the situation, because it could have been a lot worse...If it was her father I woulda be a deadman!

Oh yeah...her mother was completely trashed, which obviously worked to our advantage.

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST

HockeyGuy

Not yet... *touch wood*

splck

got caught at a party once with my old girlfriend. My white ass for all to see...fun..fun..fun.
Years later my wife and I had a cop tap on our window when we were on the vinegar strokes. we sure had a good laugh after.

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nice line eh?

greyeyes

I've never been caught myself, but while I was at military school people got caught all the time whacking it with a towel, rubber glove, rubberband, and lotion. the sad thing was they were made to stand out in the halls with their little devices for a few hours. funny as hell

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I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff

Phaenx

My brother found some interesting things in my temporary folders file once (porn). That was embarrassing, though I'm actually more ashamed I didn't hide it better rather then I got caught with porn, which in all honesty if someones going to grill you about you can easily point out they're likely being a hypocrite. Luckily my brother isn't.

Have I ever been caught humping chicks or punishing my schlong like a prisoner of war? Not to my knowledge has anyone -seen- me doing it, I have locks you see, wonderful devices. No, it's when someone knocks on the door and goes "Hey, I need my something or other." and you're right in the middle of doing it, and you know you can't open the door because it smells like ass in there, so you pull a gem of a lie out of your ass like this: "You can't, I'm...changing." I felt this was a particularly bad lie as I don't change my clothes more then once a day, maybe once every two days, as long as you don't feel or smell like a hobo you're golden. I'm sure they knew, I was just having a hard time caring too much.

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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

snowy

My brother once walked in on my ex-boyfriend and myself having sex on the floor. The bed squeaked a lot, and it was right next to my parents' room, so out of consideration, we had sex on the floor but there was no lock on the door. My brother just walked it, yelled "Oh my God!" at the sight of my ex's white ass, and shut the door shouting, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." We flew off of each other, he rolling across my bed and I grabbing my bathrobe. He covered himself while I went out into the hallway, where my brother's loudness had managed to wake my parents up. My parents are cool tho--gotta love having cool parents--and I just explained what happened. It still brings about a good laugh to this day.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Nad Adam

Caught wanking off while I lived with my parents. Kind of embarressing.

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Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. - Psalms 137:9

Dorian_S

My reformed presbyterian father once walked in on my girlfriend and I. Fucking, on the floor no less.

Rather unpleasant episode, that

Loup

I was in my ex's room and we were getting it on with the music turned up (her mother wasn't expected back for another 4 hours). When all was done and we turned off the music we heard her mother in the kitchen below. Hoping that the music would have drowned out any other noises from the room we casually walk downstairs, to her scowl. Guess the music wasn't loud enough. Oh well.

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"If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it."
~ Frank Tyger

WhoaitsZ

...... in the hopsital. i just got over some serious bronchidis or pneaumonia (after 30 or so admissions you start to forget) i was only 14, as was my girl, she came by.
we just sat around. then kissed.... then. we were going at it when i realized 'hey, the iv quit making noise". i looked around. the nurse was _watching_ us

that's about it.

lt1tech

I was 16 and my girlfriend was 15 (now she's my wife) and we got caught having sex by a cop up on a hill in her car. The hill was in a park that everyone seemed to go to to make out and such but it was pretty funny to get caught. My wife and I get a laugh out of it...

Frosstbyte

Definitely got caught with my girlfriend. We were both 17 and hooking up in her basement. Her stepmom walked right in. It was an awkward moment. Needless to say, interaction with her stepmom was a bit...strained...after that. ::grins::

Phaenx

"Hey bebey, room for one more."

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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

Scorpio

Not yet and I hope to keep it that way.

methodtim

Oh my virgin ears, errr eyes!

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We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
and we can dance.

MSD

No. I do it alone when everyone else is asleep, and I have no girlfriend to speak of.

tek55

i have a couple of times actually, one day i'll learn my truck isn't as tinted as i think it is, and that doing it in public places or in parking lots isn't so safe w/ cars that come around with headlights. Although, it's fun to see their reaction when they see you in the "act"

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teneo effrenus katafractarius

"I'm a Master Fisherman in qpid's liberation army so we can take over the world before Microsoft does. Join the Revolution!

Ogre840

i was going at it and my g/fs friend walked into the room and they just kinda talked for a bit then we get right back into it, then after a while her friend left lol.... damn no joining just realized how much better it could have been...

Mister Coaster

Twice...

LONG time ago when I was living with my mother, sister and her husband. I was jerking off, naked, in the living room. (which is in the front of the house) I was about 5 seconds from shooting my load when my sister and her husband came home. I had not heard the car or heard them walking up to the door. All of a sudden they were right there, quite embarassing.

In a hotel room, we were sharing the room with my wife's cousin, we had one bed, her cousin the other. Lots of her family were there for her uncle's wedding, and during the reception we snuck away to the room. We were doing it when someone with a key opened the room and saw us. To this day, we don't know if it was a maid, her cousin, or perhaps another family member borrowing her cousin's key.

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If you have any poo... fling it NOW!

nefarious

i think the only thing that happened to me was when i was 13 .. or 14 dont remember...

i was in my parents room, humping a stuffed animal with my pants half down ..
my mom walked in.. with a startling "OH!"

that's the most embarrased i've ever been!

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Si vis pacem, para bellum.
- Vegetius "Do Re Mil.3, Prol.

forgotten_dream

A stuffed animal?!? that just ain't right man.....

And yeah, roommates suck. >_< Had just started to get dressed as the chicks roommate came in. Fortunately the sheets were close, and I'm a fast motherfucker.

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"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."

ARTelevision

yes, in high school with a girl in a car on a dark forest path in flagrate delicto by a cop...

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create evolution

crackpot

I was caught doing a girl in what I thought was a deserted top floor bathroom stall (ah, the romance) in college, by a security goon.
Happy ending though, we went back and finished up five minutes later.

Sparky

A stuffed animal? What kind of stuffed animal?

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"I had never really thought about it before," Det. Dern said. "But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can be a very dangerous activity and not something that should be attempted alone."

Kadath

Back when we both lived at home my gf and I would have sex in her car in my driveway at night. One time my friend was driving by, saw her car and came up to knock on the door to the house, thinking we were inside watching a movie. As he passed the car he heard what was going on, half turned, and then backed slowly away to his car. Didn't talk to either of us for a few days.

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it's quiet in here

cdwonderful

yes in a car at the back of the college, but my friend who was a security guard. embarassing

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Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

liquid_dreams

not yet i've had some very close calls but nothing yet

Minx

Caught once and my guy at the time was so freaked out he ended up hopping around trying to get his pants up and was stung by a bee.....meanwhile I'm laughing my ass off. One of those memories that still makes me grin! Other than that, should have been caught a few times but wasn't!

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You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

-Ever-

Yes, first time having sex my dad walked in and was like "oooops sorry!" lol it was great.
Never been caught since. However my brother did walk in on my jerking off to some xxx (really xxx....) the other day. How embarrasing, but I just laughed it off.

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Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster...
--Acknowledge your weaknesses--

Crooky

There was one incident that I am not too sure about...

I had been living in Alberta for a year and my fiancee was in BC. When I moved back to BC, I had to stay with my parents for about 2 weeks while I found a new apartment (it was X-mas time - worst time of year to be looking for an apartment).

My fiancee was over and we were decorating the X-mas tree. We'd been on a date earlier and had eaten. The rents and my grandfather (in his mid-80s) went out for dinner. We took this as an opportunity to squeak in a quick shag.

What we didn't realize is how long we were going for. I had my fiancees legs over her head and she was yelling "fuck me fuck me fuck me oh yeah baby!" when we heard the bathroom door slam shut (right next to the bedroom I was staying in).

It was my grandpa. They were back from dinner already. To this day, we have no idea if they know what we were up to... Grandpa winked at us over X-mas dinner but never said anything about it.

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"Doors aren't like assholes! They don't shut themselves!"

mtsgsd

Let's see,
in a new sub-division that was being built, in the back of the car and completely naked. I was 18 and she was 17, but the cops didn't ask for her ID.

Same GF, in her bedroom eating her for I don't know how long, and her mother comes home unexpectedly. The smell was so strong in the room that there was no denying what we were doing and she was furious.

Caught by the maid at a hotel during a lazy morning because we forgot to put the "do not disturb" sign on the door. Especially shocking for the maid because I was 24 and my partner was 46.

Caught by cops with the same woman necking in a park after dusk. Their reaction was pretty amusing at least.

Caught by my own mother while having sex in my room with a gf. We were under the covers in a spoon position with the tv on when my mom walks in to "check" on us. We chatted about the show we were watching with me lying there with my dick inside my gf. After my mom left, we just picked up where we left off. Mom's so clueless that I really think she didn't twig to what was going on.

Same gf, now the first wife. We're driving thru a quiet suburb at 2am with her completely naked in the front seat while I play with her. We accidentaly drove past a group of kids walking down the shoulder. Our first clue was a kid shouting "Holy shit! Look at that!" LOL.

Man, a lot of times when you list it, but it could have been a lot more. There were certainly plenty of opportunities.