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Old 08-24-2010, 03:20 PM   #41 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
One time I farted and it sounded exactly like what was coming out of my mouth.

Witnesses were none the wiser.
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Last edited by Ourcrazymodern?; 08-24-2010 at 03:22 PM..
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Old 08-25-2010, 01:13 AM   #42 (permalink)
Done freeloading here
 
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Location: on my ass :) - Norway
Quote:
Originally Posted by levite View Post
One time I farted and it sounded like a jazz singer improvising random syllables while crapping, and I thought, "So that's why it's called singing 'scat'...."
This is why I shouldn't read TFP at work while sipping coffee...

One time I farted and it sounded like diarrhea...

One time I farted while alone in the woods...and I'm still not sure if it made a sound.
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Old 08-25-2010, 10:50 AM   #43 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
One time I farted and it sounded like the trumpet that heralds the end of the yuga.
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Old 08-25-2010, 11:49 AM   #44 (permalink)
Une petite chou
 
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Location: With All Your Base
One time I farted and it sound like the Happy Birthday Song...
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Old 08-25-2010, 12:21 PM   #45 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
One time I farted and it sounded like Brian Blessed clearing his throat.
This other time I farted and it sounded like Rush Limbaugh speaking his mind.
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Old 09-03-2010, 02:48 AM   #46 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod...
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- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
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Old 09-03-2010, 07:22 AM   #47 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: At my daughter's beck and call.
Quote:
Originally Posted by uncle phil View Post
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod...

okay, that made me chortle out loud. Awesome fart joke, Uncle Phil!!!
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Old 09-03-2010, 06:36 PM   #48 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
One time I farted and it sounded like a chainsaw winding up.

One time I farted and it sounded like dialing Jenny at 867-5309.

One time I farted and it sounded like Hephaestus' hammer ringing on his anvil.

One time I farted and it sounded like a gerbil stuck in Richard Gere's ass.

One time I farted and it sounded like a house telling me to get out.
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Old 09-03-2010, 06:53 PM   #49 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
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Location: East-central Canada
One time I farted and it sounded like....

Another time I farted and it sounded like....
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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
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Old 09-05-2010, 04:40 AM   #50 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
fart - 1.jpg
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 09-07-2010, 02:11 AM   #51 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
no one is listening until you fart...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 09-07-2010, 10:10 AM   #52 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
One time I farted and it sounded like an Indian Knockoff of a Harley magically shrunk down to 1/32 scale.
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 09-08-2010, 02:11 AM   #53 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
 

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