Willravel

One time I farted and it sounded like someone dropped a ceramic pot in a cathedral.

One time I farted and it sounded like Barry White was trying to say "kerfuffle" whilst eating a subway sandwich.

One time I farted and it sounded like someone was driving a Ford Focus on a bridge.

One time I farted and it sounded like you murdering your grandparent with a pillow.

One time I farted and it sounded like Forest Gump playing ping pong in China.

One time I farted and it sounded like leerooooyyy jeeenkins.

uncle phil

one time i farted and it sounded like a potato...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Ourcrazymodern?

One time I farted and it sounded like a crowd leaving the room.

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

FelixP

One time I farted and sounded like a moose crying after being punched in the face.

__________________
Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me

"I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur

Willravel

That's a good one.

BadNick

One time I farted and it sounded like when a biker dude lets off the throttle of his Harley. Fortunately, it was not a wet one.

Xerxys

One day I farted and ... oh shit ... thats gonna leave skid marks.

Baraka_Guru

One time I farted and it sounded like yo' mama!

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

seamaiden

One time I farted and it sounded like one of those high pitched whistles only dogs can hear, but then it followed me around like a dog on a leash.

dlish

One time I farted and it sounded like thbthbthb!

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

uncle phil

one time i farted and it sounded like a horizontal pussy sliding down a bannister...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

noodle

One time I farted and it sounded like a warning to the world... "yippeekiyaaay, muthafucka!"

__________________

Baraka_Guru

One time I farted and it sounded like it touched cloth....

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

noodle

One time (last week) S farted and though it made no audible sound at first, the sonic (and olfactory) boom that hit 5 seconds later wiped the hotel room flat on its ass.

__________________

Plan9

One time I farted and it sounded like an AC-130 ripping into some BMPs.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Amaras

One time I farted and it sounded like a cat's meow.

__________________
Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

Baraka_Guru

One time I farted and it sounded like Chuck Norris doing a roundhouse kick.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Tophat665

One time I farted and it sounded like a million souls suddenly cried out in terror. And then... nothing.

One time a farted and it sounded like a Wookie with a head cold.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

BadNick

One time I farted and it sounded like the soul-wrenching sound of humpback whales. But then I adjusted my butt cheek compression and it just sounded like a fart again.

Baraka_Guru

One time I farted and it sounded like the Hiphopapotamus, whose lyrics are bottomless....

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Amaras

One time I farted at band camp and it sounded like Miles Davis' "Some Kind of Blue"

__________________
Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

Plan9

This one time I farted and it sounded like something only men do. Because girls hold it. For no reason.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

One time I farted and it sounded like wing night.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Willravel

One time I farted and realized that's why women have curves.

Amaras

One time I farted and it sounded like shit. The sub-woofer was blown out.

__________________
Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

FuglyStick

One time I farted, and an angel earned his wings.

__________________
AZIZ! LIGHT!

Baraka_Guru

One time I farted and it sounded like the chopper that Arnold Schwarzenegger and his companions had to get to.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

ring

My second husband proclaimed: "Girls don't fart."

I calmly replied, "Hmm.. a pre-pubescent thing eh? Do women Fart?"

All my cousins on my mother's side can still be heard tittering about their scatological
funnies.
Their Family word for fart is: Plitter.

One time I farted and the sound-asleep dog beneath the covers, bit my butt.

Amaras

One time I farted and it sounded like James Earl Jones reading Shakespeare.

__________________
Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

Plan9

You totally just went there. Okay, now for Demolition Man fart jokes.

...

This one time I farted and it sounded like Tupac when he turned into a Glock 17 magazine.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

LordEden

One time I farted and it sounded like this...

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Plan9

This one time I farted and J. Robert Oppenheimer declared that I had become death, the destroyer of worlds.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Amaras

One time I farted, and it sounded like Elvish.

__________________
Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

LordEden

One time I farted and couldn't figure out how to use the damn three seashells.

One time I farted and I violated the verbal morality statute then was fined 2 credits.

One time I farted and it ended up on a shelf in Sandra Bolick's 20th century apt.

One time I farted and it became the number one requested mini-tune on the oldies station.

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Tophat665

One time I farted and it sounded like a soccer match in South Africa.

Did Steve put you up to that, perchance? Hmmm?

---------- Post added at 04:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:41 PM ----------

One time I farted and it sounded like Paganini and smelled like money.

That, right there, it totally made of win.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Lindy

One time I farted and it sounded like silence. Deathly quiet. The silence of death. The deadly licorice fart.

Lindy

levite

One time I farted and it sounded like napalm in the morning: the sound of victory.

One time I farted and it sounded like someone rewinding a recording of gunfire.

One time I farted and it sounded like a jazz singer improvising random syllables while crapping, and I thought, "So that's why it's called singing 'scat'...."

One time I farted and the sound unlocked my car.

One time I farted and it sounded like a shofar blowing.

One time time I farted and it sounded like a gospel choir singing. But I hadn't farted, it was the minister sitting next to me.

One time I farted and physicists thought a new universe was beginning.

One time I farted and it sounded like someone really obssessive-compulsive about organization: very anal.

One time I farted and it sounded like silence. But I hadn't farted, it was Paul Simon.

One time I farted and it sounded like an elk giving birth to a duck.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Tophat665

One time I farted and it sounded like Ornette Coleman beating a bagpipe to death with a live maribou stork.

Another time I farted and it sounded like a pygmy mosquito playing a kazoo while riding the world's smallest Harley over microscopic rumble strips. (I was very, very nervous.)

---------- Post added at 04:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:35 PM ----------

One time I farted and it sounded like someone raped a mebranophome with a digeridoo.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Willravel

One time I farted and th sound inspired me to make a thread about it.

dlish

One time i farted and it sounded like it inspired Martika to make a new song

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy