Tophat665

A Doghouse is where dogs that live outside sleep. Dogs that live inside aren’t called house dogs, but most of them are called lap dogs because they fit in your lap. Cats that live outside do not sleep in a cat house. No one sleeps in a cat house. Not if it’s a good cat house. That’s because it’s full of lap cats.

Now a dollhouse is where you keep dolls. But what about dolls that aren’t kept in a doll house? Those are boys’ dolls, Can’t call them dolls - unless they’re inflatable – make the boys sound like sissys. So what can we call them? Action Figures. That’s right Figures in Action. We tried making a talking action figure, but it only talked in figures of speech. No one could understand it. So when it wanted a blow up companion, I suppose that it was a good thing. Someone to carry the explosives.

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So when you go into a club that advertises exotic dancers, it’s full of local girls taking their clothes off, but when they get some really exotic dancers, like from Borneo or something, they’re always billed as native dancers, and they probably keep all their clothes on.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

The native dancers at our resort in Cancun were folkloric dancers. We went to the show that night, but the woman behind us had Tourette's Syndrome. So if I closed my eyes, it kind of sounded like being somewhere that featured exotic dancing. If I covered my ears and watched the folkloric dancers, it looked interesting until I looked down and noticed that I had a broken toe from playing beach volley-ball after too many tequila-shots at the all-inclusive bar.

The queasy feeling I had from the tequila, the Tourett's chick babbling in the background, and the hot folkloric girls all seemed familiar somehow. Like tucking bucks back home at the "Pussy Cat". I don't remember much after that, but would it be safe to assume that folkloric dancing is really the same as exotic dancing when you throw in Tourett's and barf?

Fly

you sure you don't smoke pot Top?

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Tophat665

No. Of course not. Drugs are bad. I know this because Nancy Reagan appeared to me in a dream and told me so. Nancy wouldn't lie to me, would she?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Fly

ahhhhhh......yup.


probably would.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

uncle phil

speaking of native dancers:

http://docsunspeckledrock.blogspot.c...ve-dancer.html

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

Here, now! What's all this horseplay?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

Horsefeathers!

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

neigh, neigh on the horse-play.

http://www.horses.co.uk/audio/horse01.wav

uncle phil

now, now, wilbur...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fly

horse play.........these are our horses and becker is pissed off.......he farts about half way through........pretty funny

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

paddyjoe

uh-huh...

i'm sure that was the horse......

Fly

if you noticed....(which you probably didn't).....i laugh AFTER the fart not before.........so no....it wasn't me.



*bastard*

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

ottopilot

There's really no shame ... in our family, we just kick the dog.

Fly

we kick the two dogs here too.........but,the horses.........now they kick back.





bastards.......

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

ring

I wake up.
I open one eye.
The left one.
The right side of my face is full of sleep wrinkles.

I close the left eye and then open the right one.

They are not in sync.
The color saturation is different between the two.
I re-test this phenomena repeatedly until my dog licks my face,
telling me it's time to get up.

Tophat665

Ladies and gentlemen, friends, hipsters, flipsters, and finger poppin' daddies, I have here the miracle product that will change the very way you live.

It's the new, Ginsu Chainsaw!

It slices. It dices. Makes mounds of julienne fries.

It'll cut down a tree. I will cut down a lamp post. It will saw this small German car clean in half....

And still slice a teenager like a ripe tomato.

Fully weatherproof. Comes in 5 designer colors. Yours for the low, low price of 19.95.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

BadNick

Women drivers are a universal problem...pic below shows some gallaxies colliding with each other...I rest my case/observation

uncle phil

then again, there are left-handed women drivers...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

genuinegirly

Galaxies are women?

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Tophat665

If Hamsters were made of ham, they would make a great brochette.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

BadNick

Galaxies are just a bunch of stars and associated stellar debris, and some of the brightest and most attractive stars I've ever seen are women.

Tophat665

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

BadNick

A third red spot has appeared alongside its cousins — the Great Red Spot and Red Spot Jr. — in the turbulent Jovian atmosphere.

This third red spot, which is a fraction of the size of the two other features, lies to the west of the Great Red Spot in the same latitude band of clouds.

The new red spot was previously a white oval-shaped storm. The change to a red color indicates its swirling storm clouds are rising to heights like the clouds of the Great Red Spot. One possible explanation is that the red storm is so powerful it dredges material from deep beneath Jupiter's cloud tops and lifts it to higher altitudes where solar ultraviolet radiation — via some unknown chemical reaction — produces the familiar brick color.

ottopilot

I once saw some Klingons on Uranus, then we thought they were pimples... but they unfortunately turned out to be brain tumors.

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Sion

flyman...why do you make your horses wear trenchcoats?

are they perverts?

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

uncle phil

"if tin whistles are made out of tin,
what do they make foghorns out of?"

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

They make peanut oil from peanuts, corn oil from corn. Where do they get baby oil?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If a parsely farmer loses a lawsuit, can they garnish his wages?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

and how about suntan oil?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Sion

"If fire fighters fight fire, and crime fighters fight crime...what do freedom fighters fight?" -GC

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

BadNick

Since there still seems to be so much dust in our observable Universe, I've concluded that my cleaning lady must somehow be involved in that.

Ourcrazymodern?

A point too finely pointed may end up without a point.
Belief in hell might also, well?
Our fears lie in our joint.

Sion

and a joint lies in my hand...shall I...?

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

uncle phil

is fighting for peace really like fucking for chastity?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ottopilot

is a holy roller really bowling for Jesus?

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo