Some Observations
 

A Doghouse is where dogs that live outside sleep. Dogs that live inside aren’t called house dogs, but most of them are called lap dogs because they fit in your lap. Cats that live outside do not sleep in a cat house. No one sleeps in a cat house. Not if it’s a good cat house. That’s because it’s full of lap cats.

Now a dollhouse is where you keep dolls. But what about dolls that aren’t kept in a doll house? Those are boys’ dolls, Can’t call them dolls - unless they’re inflatable – make the boys sound like sissys. So what can we call them? Action Figures. That’s right Figures in Action. We tried making a talking action figure, but it only talked in figures of speech. No one could understand it. So when it wanted a blow up companion, I suppose that it was a good thing. Someone to carry the explosives.

---------

So when you go into a club that advertises exotic dancers, it’s full of local girls taking their clothes off, but when they get some really exotic dancers, like from Borneo or something, they’re always billed as native dancers, and they probably keep all their clothes on.

The native dancers at our resort in Cancun were folkloric dancers. We went to the show that night, but the woman behind us had Tourette's Syndrome. So if I closed my eyes, it kind of sounded like being somewhere that featured exotic dancing. If I covered my ears and watched the folkloric dancers, it looked interesting until I looked down and noticed that I had a broken toe from playing beach volley-ball after too many tequila-shots at the all-inclusive bar.

The queasy feeling I had from the tequila, the Tourett's chick babbling in the background, and the hot folkloric girls all seemed familiar somehow. Like tucking bucks back home at the "Pussy Cat". I don't remember much after that, but would it be safe to assume that folkloric dancing is really the same as exotic dancing when you throw in Tourett's and barf?

you sure you don't smoke pot Top?

No. Of course not. Drugs are bad. I know this because Nancy Reagan appeared to me in a dream and told me so. Nancy wouldn't lie to me, would she?

ahhhhhh......yup.


probably would.

speaking of native dancers:

http://docsunspeckledrock.blogspot.c...ve-dancer.html

Here, now! What's all this horseplay?

Horsefeathers!

neigh, neigh on the horse-play.

http://www.horses.co.uk/audio/horse01.wav

now, now, wilbur...

horse play.........these are our horses and becker is pissed off.......he farts about half way through........pretty funny

uh-huh...

i'm sure that was the horse......:thumbsup:

if you noticed....(which you probably didn't).....i laugh AFTER the fart not before.........so no....it wasn't me.



*bastard*

There's really no shame ... in our family, we just kick the dog.

we kick the two dogs here too.........but,the horses.........now they kick back.





bastards.......

I wake up.
I open one eye.
The left one.
The right side of my face is full of sleep wrinkles.

I close the left eye and then open the right one.

They are not in sync.
The color saturation is different between the two.
I re-test this phenomena repeatedly until my dog licks my face,
telling me it's time to get up.

Ladies and gentlemen, friends, hipsters, flipsters, and finger poppin' daddies, I have here the miracle product that will change the very way you live.

It's the new, Ginsu Chainsaw!

It slices. It dices. Makes mounds of julienne fries.

It'll cut down a tree. I will cut down a lamp post. It will saw this small German car clean in half....

And still slice a teenager like a ripe tomato.

Fully weatherproof. Comes in 5 designer colors. Yours for the low, low price of 19.95.

Women drivers are a universal problem...pic below shows some gallaxies colliding with each other...I rest my case/observation

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...ergalaxies.jpg

then again, there are left-handed women drivers...

Galaxies are women?

If Hamsters were made of ham, they would make a great brochette.

Galaxies are just a bunch of stars and associated stellar debris, and some of the brightest and most attractive stars I've ever seen are women.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

A third red spot has appeared alongside its cousins — the Great Red Spot and Red Spot Jr. — in the turbulent Jovian atmosphere.

This third red spot, which is a fraction of the size of the two other features, lies to the west of the Great Red Spot in the same latitude band of clouds.

The new red spot was previously a white oval-shaped storm. The change to a red color indicates its swirling storm clouds are rising to heights like the clouds of the Great Red Spot. One possible explanation is that the red storm is so powerful it dredges material from deep beneath Jupiter's cloud tops and lifts it to higher altitudes where solar ultraviolet radiation — via some unknown chemical reaction — produces the familiar brick color.
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2.../web_print.jpg

I once saw some Klingons on Uranus, then we thought they were pimples... but they unfortunately turned out to be brain tumors.

flyman...why do you make your horses wear trenchcoats?

are they perverts?

"if tin whistles are made out of tin,
what do they make foghorns out of?"

They make peanut oil from peanuts, corn oil from corn. Where do they get baby oil?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If a parsely farmer loses a lawsuit, can they garnish his wages?

and how about suntan oil?

"If fire fighters fight fire, and crime fighters fight crime...what do freedom fighters fight?" -GC

Since there still seems to be so much dust in our observable Universe, I've concluded that my cleaning lady must somehow be involved in that.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...cs6/NGC602.jpg

A point too finely pointed may end up without a point.
Belief in hell might also, well?
Our fears lie in our joint.

and a joint lies in my hand...shall I...?

is fighting for peace really like fucking for chastity?

is a holy roller really bowling for Jesus?