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-   -   #TFP quotes (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-fun-zone/11602-tfp-quotes.html)

MrFlux 07-01-2003 06:40 PM

<batman> I wish I had a 250 HP lawn mower
<MSD|KindOfHere> drag race it?
<batman> not a ride on mower a push mower
<MSD|KindOfHere> got some trees you don't like?

cheese 07-01-2003 06:54 PM

/MSD|KindOfHere> you can make most animals into pies if you can get them to stay still until the oven gets hot enough



KWSN> He told me to forcably insert it into my anus!

KWSN 07-01-2003 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cheese
KWSN> He told me to forcably insert it into my anus!
...you bastard.... ;)

(it's a quote from Donnie Darko, cheese is just trying to take advantage of it. IT WON'T WORK.)

cheese 07-01-2003 07:28 PM

KWSN is just trying to hide is flagrant homosexualtiy, Quote from donnie darko my ass! we were talking about high school Phy ed teachers

KWSN 07-01-2003 07:31 PM

http://www.ruinedeye.com/cd/cap50.jpg

Chut up!

KWSN 07-01-2003 07:46 PM

[23:40] Cheese> herm.
[23:40] * Cheese wisheshe had enuff beer to get drunk
[23:40] Cheese> mabey if i drink it all realy fast i can get drunk for a bit
[23:41] MSD|KindOfHere> put two drops of vodka in each eye and you'll have instant drunkenness
[23:41] MSD|KindOfHere> followed by not quite so instant hangover
[23:41] MSD|KindOfHere> or some rum in a nasal spray bottle ...
[23:42] RTW> Just get an intravenous line and pump pure ethyl alcohol into your veins... all the buzz, none of the taste
[23:42] MSD|KindOfHere> WARNING: DO NOT ASK HOW I KNOW THIS. I HAVE NOT DONE ANY OF THE ABOVE

MrFlux 07-02-2003 04:18 AM

Hahaha the forceably insert bit in Donnie Darko is the funniest bit in the whole movie.

cheese 07-03-2003 12:46 AM

cheers> no!
cheers> NO SCARY MOVIE!
cheers> NONE!
cheese> its not fucking scary
* cheers PUTS HER FOOT DOWN!
Antagony> cheers: It's one of the unscariest movies one could imagine.
cheers> NO PRETEND SCARY MOBIES EITHER
* cheese watches the earth shudder
cheers> MOVIES
*** You were kicked by cheers (cheese)


cheers showing how much of and eletist conspiracy this whole thing realy is :)

juanvaldes 07-03-2003 12:50 AM

Movie in Question is Evil Dead 3 : Army Of Darkness
edit: success! I got her to watch it :D

meanSpleen 07-06-2003 01:03 PM

THE GREAT LLAMA QUOTE
 
[13:39:36] * Snoogans is playing: Tenacious D - Jesus Ranch
[13:39:50] Spleen - jesus has a ranch?
[13:40:11] Snoogans - yup
[13:40:17] Snoogans - you didn't know?
[13:40:26] Spleen - nope, i don't follow jesus
[13:40:33] Spleen - does he raise cattle?
[13:40:51] Wile_E - no llamas
[13:41:06] Spleen - dang pachyderms
[13:41:44] juanvaldes - llamallamallama...
[13:42:08] Wile_E - sawing llaamaa
[13:42:12] redravin - better then ungulates
[13:42:13] Wile_E - hmm
[13:42:23] Wile_E - that didn't look right....
[13:42:35] Spleen - nooo iiit diidn't
[13:42:43] redravin - throw llama from the train?
[13:42:53] Spleen - STOP!! or my llama will shoot!
[13:43:09] juanvaldes - no....more.....bad.....movies......aghhh....
[13:43:22] Spleen - but this one had BOTH sylvester stallone and estelle getty
[13:43:29] Spleen - thats a match made in heaven
[13:43:32] Spleen - :P
[13:43:37] juanvaldes - lol
[13:43:52] juanvaldes - don't tell mom the llama is dead
[13:44:07] Spleen - ooo applegate... mmm
[13:44:16] Spleen - LLama, the barbarian
[13:44:16] bones - jello
[13:44:16] juanvaldes - she's still hot
[13:44:19] juanvaldes - yo bones
[13:44:27] Snoogans - hey Bones
[13:44:31] Spleen - and the sequel; Llama, the destroyer
[13:44:39] bones - happy bday juan
[13:44:43] juanvaldes - thanks
[13:44:48] Spleen - juans an old fart now?
[13:44:51] juanvaldes - or just "llama"
[13:44:52] Sionide - hehehe
[13:44:56] juanvaldes - yeah, I'm old...
[13:45:04] bones - old? i dont think so
[13:45:11] juanvaldes - then "llama first blood"
[13:45:29] Spleen - Llama 3: Rise of the machines
[13:45:45] redravin - beneath the valley of the llama
[13:45:55] Spleen - The Llama of Oz
[13:46:12] bones - anyone know of a good free mp3 player (burner, make playlists, etc)
[13:46:19] juanvaldes - llama powers
[13:46:23] Spleen - musicmatch.com
[13:46:36] juanvaldes - evil llama
[13:46:37] Spleen - international llama of mystery?
[13:46:43] juanvaldes - indeed
[13:46:46] redravin - three men and a llama
[13:46:51] juanvaldes - oh, I got cheeros to watch Evil Dead 3 :D
[13:46:51] Spleen - Llama Act
[13:46:55] Shokan - requiem for a llama
[13:46:57] bones - lol
[13:47:02] bones - silence of the llamas
[13:47:03] Spleen - everyone needs to watch evil dead 3
[13:47:11] juanvaldes - she wasn't scared
[13:47:16] Spleen - its not a scary movie
[13:47:18] juanvaldes - she said it was stupid
[13:47:18] Spleen - thats why
[13:47:21] juanvaldes - yeah
[13:47:21] bones - willy wonka and the llama factory
[13:47:36] Spleen - umm, bones, that llama wonka and the chocolate factory
[13:47:40] Spleen - get the movies right
[13:47:45] bones - sorry
[13:47:49] Shokan - monty python's meaning of llama
[13:48:06] Shokan - monty python's search for the holy llama
[13:48:09] spec - life of llama
[13:48:10] bones - goodllamas
[13:48:18] Shokan - the Godllama
[13:48:23] Spleen - Sense and Llamability
[13:48:24] bones - "ever since i was a kid, i wanted to be a llama"
[13:48:36] bones - sweet home alallama
[13:48:38] juanvaldes - anyone think were taking this a bit to far?
[13:48:41] Shokan - Llama Horizon
[13:48:46] Spleen - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Llama
[13:48:48] Shokan - Freddy vs Llama
[13:48:48] bones - lol
[13:49:08] Spleen - no
[13:49:11] Shokan - The Llama Reloaded
[13:49:25] Spleen - Bill and Llama's excellent adventure
[13:49:50] phredgreen - bill an ted's excellent llama
[13:49:56] Shokan - the lord of the llama
[13:49:57] Spleen - oops
[13:49:59] bones - llama sutra
[13:50:07] Shokan - Llama, Interrupted
[13:50:13] bones - lol
[13:50:19] bones - showllamas
[13:50:21] juanvaldes - PI (staring a llama)
[13:50:25] Spleen - HAH!
[13:50:38] Shokan - one flew over the llama's nest
[13:50:40] bones - throw llama from the the train
[13:50:45] Shokan - lol
[13:50:46] bones - big llama's house
[13:50:46] Spleen - BOO
[13:50:47] Snoogans - Mallamas
[13:50:53] Hal - llama-man
[13:51:02] bones - big llama's house made me laugh
[13:51:03] juanvaldes - the llamam redemption
[13:51:03] Shokan - Starship Llamatroopers
[13:51:05] Spleen - Batman and Llama
[13:51:21] juanvaldes - SLC llama
[13:51:24] Hal - requiem for a llama
[13:51:25] Spleen - hehehe
[13:51:27] bones - weeked at llamas
[13:51:33] Shokan - Star Wars : The Llama Strikes Back
[13:51:40] Spleen - Gone with the Llama
[13:51:43] bones - hehe
[13:51:49] bones - eight llamas out
[13:51:50] juanvaldes - Deepllama
[13:51:53] Snoogans - Donnie Llama
[13:51:54] bones - HA
[13:52:05] Spleen - Llama Run
[13:52:09] Hal - crouching llama, hidden ostrege
[13:52:12] redravin - how green is my llama
[13:52:14] bones - llama and the bandit
[13:52:19] bones - fried green llamas
[13:52:21] Spleen - Fried Green Llama
[13:52:22] Spleen - dammit
[13:52:23] bones - lol
[13:52:26] bones - nice
[13:52:32] Shokan - eight legged llamas
[13:52:41] Hal - the fifth llama
[13:52:44] bones - how did this start?
[13:52:44] Snoogans - The legend of drunken llama
[13:52:48] redravin - thelma and llama
[13:52:50] Spleen - juan did it
[13:52:57] juanvaldes - the 13th llama
[13:52:58] Spleen - Jurassic Llama
[13:53:03] Snoogans - I listened to Jesus ranch by Tenacious D
[13:53:06] redravin - everybody points at juan
[13:53:12] Spleen - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Llama
[13:53:15] juanvaldes - ummm....NOT IT!
[13:53:16] bones - i just listened to "im the only gay eskimp" its so funny
[13:53:17] * juanvaldes runs
[13:53:21] Hal - american llama in paris
[13:53:30] spec - Return of the llama
[13:53:32] Spleen - The Llama King
[13:53:33] bones - big trouble, little llama
[13:53:37] Shokan - lol'
[13:53:41] Spleen - Llama Gump
[13:53:47] Shokan - Llamaface
[13:53:54] Spleen - Llama
[13:53:55] spec - last action llama
[13:53:57] Spleen - Llama
[13:53:57] bones - lol
[13:53:58] Hal - goldenllama
[13:54:06] bones - the llamas
[13:54:08] Spleen - Llama's in Black (aka, LIB)
[13:54:10] redravin - hunt for red llama
[13:54:14] Shokan - dr strangellama
[13:54:17] spec - meet the llamas
[13:54:19] bones - reservoir llamas
[13:54:21] bones - pulp llamas
[13:54:24] Hal - llama never dies
[13:54:26] Snoogans - The hot llama
[13:54:27] Spleen - Terminator 2: Llama Day
[13:54:31] bones - lol
[13:54:38] Shokan - the boondock llamas
[13:54:39] bones - someone needs to make this thread
[13:54:40] Spleen - Indiana Jones and the Last Llama
[13:54:44] spec - llama brown
[13:54:51] Spleen - bones - the irc thread in nonsense
[13:54:56] Hal - this is good as a one-time only thing
[13:54:56] redravin - the ten llamas
[13:54:59] Snoogans - Chasing llama
[13:55:09] Spleen - Misson: Llama
[13:55:18] Hal - brotherhood of the llama
[13:55:19] spec - harry potter and the sorceror's llama
[13:55:26] Spleen - i did that one spec
[13:55:30] spec - damn
[13:55:35] Spleen - Dances with Llama's
[13:55:37] Shokan - resovier llamas
[13:55:38] bones - beverly hills llama
[13:55:42] Hal - llama'd away
[13:55:43] bones - did it shok
[13:55:51] Spleen - The Llamaguard
[13:55:53] bones - the llama in miss jones
[13:55:54] bones - LOL
[13:55:59] Spleen - hehehe
[13:56:08] Spleen - Robin Hood: Prince of Llamas
[13:56:09] redravin - friday the 13th part 6..the llama lives
[13:56:09] Shokan - natural
[13:56:10] Snoogans - beverly hills llama 2
[13:56:11] Shokan - er
[13:56:14] Hal - llama confidential
[13:56:16] Shokan - natural born llamas
[13:56:19] bones - LOL
[13:56:19] Spleen - Beauty and the Llama
[13:56:21] juanvaldes - the big lebowllama
[13:56:27] Spleen - LLAMAZILLA!!!
[13:56:35] Hal - llama bebop
[13:56:35] juanvaldes - lock stock and two smoking llamas
[13:56:36] bones - llama in manhattan
[13:56:39] bones - LOL
[13:56:40] bones - HAHAHAHAHA
[13:56:42] Snoogans - :D
[13:56:46] juanvaldes - Spacellamas
[13:56:50] Spleen - Theres Something About Llama
[13:56:55] redravin - llama madness
[13:57:02] Spleen - Planet of the Llamas
[13:57:03] Hal - the last of the llamas
[13:57:10] bones - from justin to llama
[13:57:13] Spleen - My Big Fat Green Llama
[13:57:15] Spleen - oops
[13:57:19] bones - green?
[13:57:19] Spleen - My Big Fat Greek Llama
[13:57:28] Hal - silence of the llamas
[13:57:34] Hal - (is trying to tell you something)
[13:57:35] Shokan - charlie's llamas 2 : full llama
[13:57:40] bones - ha
[13:57:46] bones - llamas end
[13:57:46] Spleen - Who Framed Roger Llama (last one)

KWSN 07-06-2003 04:40 PM

This may very well be the funniest thing ever written:

(Spinach_Indeed) I bought a T-shirt today from a Thrift Store that has "Bagel Time is Fun" written in big Red Letters on the front. It may be the best thing I've spent money on in the last 3 years.

juanvaldes 07-06-2003 11:43 PM

00:41 < Antagony> Hey, if I tell you guys a deep dark secret right now, would it stay inside this channel?
00:41 <%cheers> I could, ant...
00:41 <@Hal> probably not, ant
00:41 <@Hal> but you can try
00:41 <%cheers> but Hal has a point
00:41 <%cheers> what's up, anyway?
00:41 < Antagony> Hmmmm
00:41 < Antagony> Well . . .
00:41 < Antagony> Pokemon is fun.
00:41 < Antagony> There, I said it.

KWSN 07-07-2003 09:23 PM

[01:23] (cheers) my mom just asked me if her car missed her
[01:23] (cheers) addressing him by his given name of "Bob"

KWSN 07-07-2003 09:57 PM

[01:55] (HeyAgain) am i still logged on?
[01:55] (redravin) no
[01:56] *** HeyAgain has quit IRC (Quit: —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— 2.0 Build 2520)
[01:56] (Wile_E) I guess he believed you red

Snakeyes 07-08-2003 11:50 AM

CAN'T... STOP... LAUGHING...

What's the server for #tfp!?

Snakeyes 07-08-2003 03:14 PM

This didn't happen in TFP, but I think it's funny anyway.
(By the way, the guy's not dead, and I realize that Mace is a horrible person. But it's funny)


[Mace] Where's zuzu?
[Nobletype] He killed himself, his mom e-mailed me.
[Mace] Oh
[Mace] Anyone played Splinter Cell?


Edit: Stupid HTML

cheerios 07-08-2003 09:28 PM

22:26 <%juan> smooth man smooth
22:26 <%Spleen> i'm like exlax

YourNeverThere 07-11-2003 01:06 AM

cheese - Spleen kick me
WhositsZ - ...ya
* cheese was kicked by Spleen (cheese)


spleen edit - made the names of who said what show up

KWSN 07-12-2003 06:43 PM

[21:43](jeff) has a disease (chrones?) which makes him shit a lot.
[21:44](KWSN) chrons doesn't make you shit a lot so much as collapse and die

Halx 07-15-2003 03:11 PM

[16:04] &lt;MrFlux> Listening to mp3[Incubus - I Miss You] info[02:48 44khz 128kbps Stereo]
[16:04] * Spleen licks the varnish off of: Blumchen - Boomerang (Boomerang in Der Luft Mix) (160kbps) [3:13/3:48]
[16:04] &lt;Spleen> my blumchen attacks your incubus for 30hp
[16:04] &lt;cheers> LOL
[16:05] &lt;MrFlux> hrhrhr
[16:05] &lt;MrFlux> hurhurhur
[16:05] &lt;MrFlux> rather
[16:05] &lt;Hal> My Covenant casts "Tour de Force" on your Blumchen and blows it out of the battlefield.
[16:05] &lt;ogre840> U key stop working?
[16:05] * Spleen resurrects his blumchen with a bicycle of life
[16:05] * Spleen licks the varnish off of: Blumchen - Bicycle Race (on the Air Mix) (160kbps) [0:57/3:50]
[16:05] &lt;MrFlux> no ogre840, my mind did
[16:05] &lt;ogre840> well my dwarven ogre barbarian flies into rage and kills you all
[16:06] &lt;Spleen> shazzap ogre
[16:06] &lt;Spleen> follow the rules
[16:06] * MrFlux summons an ogre840 to attack Hal's Convenant
[16:06] &lt;ogre840> ohh dont worry my mind quits all too often
[16:06] * ogre840 roars
[16:06] * ogre840 attacks and goes for the jugular
[16:06] &lt;Hal> my Covenant casts 'Riot' to slow down the ogre840
[16:07] &lt;ogre840> quick someone cast quiet on that riot
[16:07] &lt;Spleen> hehehe
[16:07] * Spleen bangs his head
[16:07] * MrFlux casts Zoot Suit on ogre840.... now he's Zoot Suit Rioting
[16:07] * Hal summons his Icon of Coil which casts You Just Died on the ogre840
[16:08] * Spleen points and laughs at the dead zootsuited ogre
[16:08] &lt;ogre840> ooooooooohh i... i just died in your arms tonight

KWSN 07-15-2003 05:59 PM

This isn't from #tfp, but it's still good.

(KWSN) I'm seeing Opeth in 2 days. I need to STOP LISTENING TO EMO.
(KWSN) it would be bad to walk into an Opeth concert an an emo mood
(teedz) listening to emo is like smoking
(KWSN) teedz: it gives you lung cancer?

MrFlux 07-15-2003 07:10 PM

[15:08] &lt;bones&gt; ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
[15:08] &lt;bones&gt; IM ON FIRE!
[15:08] *** bones (Bones@c-67-163-88-157.client.comcast.net) Quit

Antagony 07-15-2003 11:04 PM

(KWSN) OWW
(KWSN) brb, I think I broke my nose

Halx 07-15-2003 11:29 PM

I dunno guys, the one and two-liners aren't doing it for me...

suviko 07-16-2003 01:08 AM

talking about female breasts:

Hanxter> it's like the little bumps around their nipples
Hanxter> it's braille for lick here
Suviko> hanxter: ever looked your own? what do they spell out?
Suviko> "no milk"? :)
Hanxter> "lower"

cheese 07-17-2003 05:28 PM

OMG that llama thing had me nealy thow up my dinner.

But i have to a few more

Attack of the killer llamas
The Toxic llama


and waht about TV shows

LLamas in charge
Welcome back llama
Llama springer


the goes on and on

MrFlux 07-18-2003 06:57 PM

[14:54] * Spinach_Indeed has sex with Spinach|Babble
[14:54] &lt;gov135|TFP&gt; who's on top?
[14:55] &lt;Spinach_Indeed&gt; Doggy Style. Babble recieving. Becuase he's a slut.
[14:55] *** Spinach|Babble (~Robinhood@ip-207-42-62-111.kerrlake.com) Quit (Ping timeout: 204 seconds)
[14:55] &lt;phredgreen&gt; i guess he didn't appreciate that

phredgreen 07-19-2003 02:45 AM

Peetster> I'm looking for today's hoax.
phernandoverde> umm...
phernandoverde> press alt-f4 for free ops
* Peetster has quit IRC (Quit: http://www.bocazas.com a webchat for you :))

Maveric 07-19-2003 10:05 AM

Quote:

If I wasn't so Heterosexual, I'd suck you off Right Now!
One male forum member to another forum male member... I can't for the life of me remember who said it to whom but I remember they put it in their sig...

Ogre840 07-20-2003 01:53 PM

cheers|lunch~ man, I worked a 5 foot tall 8 foot long cart of freight in 2 hrs this morning

cheers|lunch~ and if i ever see another school uniform...

redravin~ don't go on the TB then

SaltPork 07-21-2003 10:43 AM

Peetster> Roilet: (N) an old ceramic toilet, stained and covered with last night's vomit, half digested food, and fecal matter, with Bones curled around the base in the fetus position

Spinach_Indeed 07-23-2003 08:52 PM

KWSN: <(o_o)_^)>
KWSN: KIRBY RAPE

KWSN 07-23-2003 09:49 PM

[01:40] *** big has joined #tfp
[01:40](redravin) evening big
[01:40](Eye) hello big
[01:40](Eye) whois big
[01:41] * KWSN is big... but not as big as big, apparently
[01:42](sandeep) big mistake...
[01:42] *** big has quit IRC (Client Quit)
[01:42](Eye) that sucked big time

KWSN 07-25-2003 12:52 AM

[04:53] < Trivbot> 41. Mary magdalene is the patron saint of ______?
[04:53] < mog> virgins
[04:53] < KWSN> penis
[04:53] < mog> sluts
[04:53] < mog> whores
[04:53] < mog> prostitutes
[04:53] < Trivbot> mog got the answer: prostitutes. In: 9.381 secs. Streak: 2. Current wins 8!

phredgreen 07-26-2003 12:51 AM

BlueBongo> I've decided that veggie tales is of the devil.
BlueBongo> Listening to the songs ALL DAY can drive a person insane.
phredgreen> singing dancing cucmbers and you're only now finding this out?
Pennington> I'm just scared of the next generation of conservative christians that think moses was pickle
BlueBongo> rofl]
BlueBongo> yeah...
BlueBongo> I remember watching Davy and GOliath
BlueBongo> Goliath even.
Pennington> for the longest time i thought noah was a funny looking guy with a huge round head
Pennington> and no nose
Pennington> now kids are gonna think hes a carrot
BlueBongo> maybe they will eat healthier.
* phredgreen wonders what veggie jesus would be
BlueBongo> Or NOT eat those veggies because they associate them with biblical characters
Pennington> "eat your carrots"
Pennington> "but but carrots are moses"
BlueBongo> lol
Pennington> "no, there not. just eat them"
Pennington> "Carrots are people too"
Pennington> "No, soylent green is people. Carrots are food"

Pennington 07-26-2003 01:02 AM

Pennington> I firmly believe that our persistant use of the automobil is impeding the invention of the teleporter.
Pennington> If everyone had to walk everywhere, we'd be pushing billions into teleporter research.
Pennington> BAN INTERNAL COMBUSTION!!!

WhoaitsZ 07-28-2003 07:21 PM

the guy is new and cool. this made me laugh extreeeeeeeeeeemly hard

air45|TFP> i do not need the rubber cock for my own stiff member is full of life.
air45|TFP> do not fuck the ceiling fan or i am rofl!

edit: fixed it so it didn't interpret the brackets as html

bermuDa 07-28-2003 07:22 PM

air45|TFP> i do not need the rubber cock for my own stiff member is full of life.
WhoaitsZ> ohhhhhhhhhh
Spinach_Indeed> Throbbing with VIGOR

WhoaitsZ 07-28-2003 07:24 PM

weird. the whole quote didn't carry

said by user air45|tfp

MacGnG 07-30-2003 11:41 PM

Code:

Phaenx: I grew up on a farm
Phaenx: We were like a stud farm or some crap I don't know
Phaenx: but horses had sex all the time in plain sight and most of them weren't ours
MacGnG: lol
eltardo: heh
MacGnG: as long as u didnt have sex with any of the horses
MacGnG: oh man u didnt did you
MacGnG: thats just wrong
Phaenx: How do you think I got kicked?
MacGnG: haha

...later...

MacGnG: Phaenx the horse fucker...
MacGnG: lol
Phaenx: I don't think you'd get very far seducing a horse before it kicked your testicles off
MacGnG: lol



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