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05-07-2003, 08:31 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Indifferent to anti-matter
Location: Tucson, AZ
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From the top secret government training film:
Gentlemen, I have something awesome to reveal to you. Go ahead sir. Two flying saucers just landed on my plate. You mean the eggs, sir? Let's just call them the phenomena. Well, sir, I think you've got your phenomena scrambled. Sir, uh, pass the syrup, general? That's a good idea, Chuck, but syrup won't stop them. Next? Uh, pardon me, sir, but are you nuts? Ha ha, that's just what they want you to think.
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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst. |
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07-16-2009, 06:45 AM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Devoted
Donor
Location: New England
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Hey Soliloquy, thanks for unearthing this. I missed it those many years back.
"The whole world is spinning!" "That's lucky for us! If it were flat, all the Chinese would fall off!"
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I can't read your signature. Sorry. |
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07-16-2009, 06:45 AM
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#10 (permalink) |
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loving the curves
Location: my Lady's manor
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One hundred and twenty million Americans are watching with their two hundred and forty million blue eyes.
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And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...  I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca |
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07-16-2009, 07:36 AM
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#11 (permalink) |
Super Moderator
Location: essex ma
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it's ok, they're speaking chinese.
actually, my favorite is the opening sequence of nick danger, third eye, which i can recite after a few beverages. other times too, but it's less likely. hello? is this charlie's pizza? i'd like a pizza with no anchovies to go. anchovies? you've got the wrong man. i spell my name danger.
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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear it make you sick. -kamau brathwaite |
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07-16-2009, 06:55 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: The Danforth
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Fudds first law of opposition:
If you push something hard enough, it WILL fall over.
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You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey And I never saw someone say that before You held my hand and we walked home the long way You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I |
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08-10-2009, 06:35 AM
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#13 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: The Danforth
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Teslacle's Deviant to Fudd's Law:
"It goes in, it must come out."
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You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey And I never saw someone say that before You held my hand and we walked home the long way You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I |
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03-28-2010, 10:46 AM
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#16 (permalink) | |
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Upright
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Quote:
The Adventures of Nick Danger, Third Eye I was sitting in my office listening to the endless staccato of raindrops on my desk, reading my name backwards in the glass "Regnad Kcin" when she walked into the room... How's that? And all without alcohol... ---------- Post added at 11:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:44 AM ---------- Benjamin Franklin, only president of the United States who was never president of the United States... "I say, let's start a revolution!" cried Fiery Sam the tax collector. "Good idea, Sam... then we can invite over a bunch of immigrants and make cars!" replied Ben... |
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03-28-2010, 10:13 PM
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#18 (permalink) |
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Upright
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I think that's why I am able to remember it... too many nights listening to FT with too many tabs on board...
---------- Post added at 11:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:08 PM ---------- Hi! I'm Dr. Happy Harry Cox and they call me happy because I am! Because you're listening to newest in my collection of records from "Men Never Lived on Earth" followed by "Gas Music from Jupiter"... Uh, Cox, this is Holeflaffer... uh, Cox, you in there? Uh, Listen, Cox... you gotta come over to the office. Your rent is due... uh, you gotta cold Whiz in the fridge? See that big bear over there lapping up that cold stream water? Bear Whiz Bear... it's in the water. That's why it's so good... Everything you know is wrong |
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04-16-2010, 06:59 PM
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#19 (permalink) | ||
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Upright
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Quote:
excitement! He's ready for anything...he's... SOUND: TELEPHONE PICKED UP NICK: Nick Danger, Third Eye! GEORGE: (ON FILTER) Uh-I wanna order a pizza to go, and no anchovies. NICK: No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell my name...Danger! [click] GEORGE: (FILTER) What? MUSIC: "NICK DANGER" THEME IN AND UNDER. ---------- Post added at 02:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:57 AM ---------- Quote:
SOUND: TELEPHONE PICKED UP NICK: Nick Danger, Third Eye! GEORGE: (ON FILTER) Uh-I wanna order a pizza to go, and no anchovies. NICK: No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell my name...Danger! [click] GEORGE: (FILTER) What? MUSIC: "NICK DANGER" THEME IN AND UNDER. |
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05-01-2010, 06:25 AM
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#20 (permalink) |
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Upright
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I was small, and red, and hot...
Who's behind is the Giant Rat of Sumatra?
---------- Post added at 10:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:12 AM ---------- Who's behind is the Giant Rat of Sumatra? ---------- Post added at 10:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:14 AM ---------- It's just like the 'sixties: you can't understand a word Bob's saying, and that's when he's at his best! And who's that singing with Bobby on the love duet from "Car Wash?" Joan Baez? Jim Nabors? |
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05-25-2010, 09:56 AM
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#21 (permalink) |
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Upright
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Firesign Theatre quotes
Jaundice it is! Give that man the antidote. Malcolm X John Lennon, come hear and dig your mother. You can believe me because I never lie and I'm always right. Porgy Tirebiter, he's a spy and a girl delighter. Porgy Tirebiter. He's a student like you. If you're looking for the captain of the ringball team, you can bet he won't be there. But you'll find him poppin' up in Pop's sodium shop, be do bi do wap a wah do. Porgy Tirebiter, he's a student like you, LIKE ME. He's a student like you. ---------- Post added at 05:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:48 PM ---------- Hey baby, welcome to the Lazy O dues ranch and collective love farm. Take of your clothes and come on home. Ohhhmmm, ohhhmmmm, range. Hey baby let me lay a stick of sandlewood incense on ya, made it out of me own sandles, no, no, no let me light it for you there. Yeah, nah. ---------- Post added at 05:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:55 PM ---------- Oops, that's "Welcome to the Lazy O magic circle dues ranch and collective love farm. |
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06-20-2010, 01:29 PM
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#22 (permalink) |
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Upright
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Shoes for industry, shoes for the dead
"That's a nice story Mr. President, but where can I find a job?"
"Don't eat with your hands, boy, use your entrenching tool." Customs Agent:"Welcoming to Barbaria, infidel friends! I must be checking your luggage, please. Now what is the purpose of your visit to spy on us?" Aide: "Sir, this is the new American Ambassador." Agent: "The Ambassador! Well, hurry let's open all of his luggage then. Doesn't your underwear make a nice hat for my head!" Ambassador: "I am here to take over the American Embassy!" Agent:" Ooh, that's lots of fun! My club and I do it every week, but first you need lots of men with underwear on their heads, and guns." |
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07-09-2010, 01:28 PM
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#23 (permalink) |
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Upright
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"We're brought to you this evening by Sneezer's, finger linkin', nose pickin', napkin stickin' chicken, where there's a waitress on a skateboard comin' at you with a bucket of cluck. So if your date's getting bored, just floor that Ford and truck, right down to Sneezer's, at the corner of 37th and O streets, right next to Rude's Restaurant Continental."
(Proctor and Bergman during a visit to WGTB in 1978) Last edited by LiXarDoh; 07-09-2010 at 01:31 PM.. |
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08-14-2010, 05:16 AM
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#25 (permalink) |
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Upright
Location: Tennessee
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Situation Report
"Situation report...I wish I had some company and some good dope...other than that, I feel fine."
-Mark Time (David Ossman) from "How Time Flies!"
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If a man speaks and no woman hears him...is he still wrong? |
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01-05-2011, 06:59 AM
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#33 (permalink) |
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Upright
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Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers
"Give them a light, and they'll follow it anywhere"
Eukipha Heap, founder of Mor Science High as quoted by Principle Poop "Some good 'ol Philippinies, cummin' in shorts and quarts... And tubs of slaw" Pastor Rod Flash Last edited by jrakow; 01-05-2011 at 07:10 AM.. |
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| Tags |
| favorite, firesign, post, theater |
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