Mudhead

"That's a nice story Mr. President, but where can I find a job?"

"Don't eat with your hands, boy, use your entrenching tool."

Customs Agent:"Welcoming to Barbaria, infidel friends! I must be checking your luggage, please. Now what is the purpose of your visit to spy on us?"
Aide: "Sir, this is the new American Ambassador."
Agent: "The Ambassador! Well, hurry let's open all of his luggage then. Doesn't your underwear make a nice hat for my head!"
Ambassador: "I am here to take over the American Embassy!"
Agent:" Ooh, that's lots of fun! My club and I do it every week, but first you need lots of men with underwear on their heads, and guns."