best of monty python! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

InTeGrA77 · 12-29-2003, 10:32 PM

I dunno if someone already had a thread on this, seeing as how search is still down, but I'll give it a try anyways!

Any fans of Monty Python out there...besides me? I'm trying to think of some of the best lines in all of Monty Python's time on television. Either on The Flying Circus or in thier films, I know that there are some classic lines out there that still make me laugh when I hear them!

I'll start with one that I can think of right off the top of my head, and that would be....

"Shut your festering gob, you tit!" (I think that that was an episode of The Flying Circus, but I'm not quite sure as to which one.)

If you can think of any more good ones, please post...for laughs!

Also, whos your fav. MP actor? Mine=Eric Idle, whos urs?

phukraut · 12-30-2003, 12:51 PM

how about: "help help! i'm being repressed! you saw him repressing me, didn't you?" from holy grail. actually that movie is filled with great lines.

from flying circus: "do you wAAAnt to come back to my place?" and "i am no longer infected."

ok i have to go look at my episodes again to remember the rest..

ratbastid · 12-30-2003, 01:20 PM

Palin and Cleese are my faves. They rule.

"It's people like you what cause unrest!"

RedCometChar · 12-30-2003, 01:40 PM

"Oh. AN 'oop. Pardon me, I'm orf to play the grahnd pi-ahno."

Cleese all the way, with Idle and Palin close runners'-up.

Jack Ruby · 12-30-2003, 02:59 PM

Aaahhahahah.

"And it went... wherever I... did go." - The Meaning of Life

djflish · 01-01-2004, 03:21 PM

"Welease Woger! Welease Woger!"

brandon11983 · 01-01-2004, 07:02 PM

She turned me into a newt...... I got better...

Jadey · 01-02-2004, 01:53 AM

King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Cardinal Syn · 01-02-2004, 07:21 PM

And now for somthing completly different.

Baldrick · 01-02-2004, 08:02 PM

HUGE fan!

The Penguin Sketch is my alltime favorite!

Pepperpot #1 - "What's that on the telly?"
Pepperpot #2 - "Looks like a penguin, to me."

PoteMatic · 01-02-2004, 09:56 PM

search for the holly grail is my favorite

hulk · 01-03-2004, 12:34 AM

Cleese, yes, he is a legend. My favourite part not already mentioned would be the tiger part of The Meaning of Life.

cchris · 01-03-2004, 01:11 AM

Man that whole Python thing still has me in stitches.

My fave.

Interviewer: Vince, after he nailed your head to the floor, did you ever see him again?

Vince: Yeah ... After that I used to go round to his flat every Sunday lunchtime to apologise, and we'd shake hands and then he'd nail my head to the floor.

Interviewer: Every Sunday?

Vince: Yeah, but he was very reasonable about it. I mean one Sunday when my parents were coming round for tea, I asked him if he'd mind very much not nailing my head to the floor that week and he agreed and just screwed my pelvis to a cake stand.

Fremen · 01-03-2004, 02:13 AM

When I was a young nipper, the graphics on The Flying Circus gave me the willies.

That being said, I like the graphics on the series, now.

If I'm not mistaken, Terry Gilliam did most of them.

My favorite member is Eric Idle, though.
I love his songs.

"Lo-ok on the bri-ght side of life..."

InTeGrA77 · 01-03-2004, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cardinal Syn
And now for somthing completly different.

That's a classic one, you hear it a lot if you watch Flying Circus

"I don't like Spam!"

ratbastid · 01-03-2004, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hulk
My favourite part not already mentioned would be the tiger part of The Meaning of Life.

YES!!

"Um.. We're making an advert for Tiger Brand Coffee."
"Yes! Tiger Brand Coffee, It's a real treat. Even a tiger prefers a cup of it... to real meat!"

"Oh, you said a leg! I think there is a leg back there, actually..."

Rodney · 01-03-2004, 06:31 PM

My personal favorite is John Cleese's rant in the dead parrot sketch. The clerk refuses to admit that the parrot is dead but is instead "pinin' for the fjords" of his native Norway:

Clerk: No no! 'E's pining!

Cleese: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Tophat665 · 01-03-2004, 07:36 PM

My Four favorites:

Quote:

Word Association Football
Tonight's the night I shall be talking about of flu the subject of word association football. This is a technique out a living much used in the practice makes perfect of psychoanalysister and brother and one that has occupied piper the majority rule of my attention squad by the right number one two three four the last five years to the memory. It is quite remarkable baker charlie how much the miller's son this so-called while you were out word association immigrants' problems influences the manner from heaven in which we sleekit cowering timrous beasties all-American Speke, the famous explorer. And the really well that is surprising partner in crime is that a lot and his wife of the lions' feeding time we may be c d e effectively quite unaware of the fact or fiction section of the Watford Public Library that we are even doing it is a far, far better thing that I do now then, now then, what's going onward christian Barnard the famous hearty part of the lettuce now praise famous mental homes for loonies like me. So on the button, my contention causing all the headaches, is that unless we take into account of Monte Cristo in our thinking George the Fifth this phenomenon the other hand we shall not be able satisFact or Fiction section of the Watford Public Library againily to understand to attention when I'm talking to you and stop laughing, about human nature, man's psychological make-up some story the wife'll believe and hence the very meaning of life itselfish bastard, I'll kick him in the Ball's Pond Road.

Quote:

King Solomon's Wines
A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity, as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palette, but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain. "Black Stump Bordeaux" is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good "Sydney Syrup" can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines. "Chateau Bleu", too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn. "Old Smokey, 1968" has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian wino society thouroughly recommends a 1970 "Coq du Rod Laver", which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles of this, and you're really finished -- at the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour. Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is "Perth Pink". This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE!. This is not a wine for drinking -- this is a wine for laying down and avoiding. Another good fighting wine is "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow", which is particularly heavy, and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat. Quite the reverse is true of "Chateau Chunder", which is an Appelachian controle, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation -- a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends. Real emetic fans will also go for a "Hobart Muddy", and a prize winning "Cuiver Reserve Chateau Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga", which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.

Quote:

The Lesson of St. Victor
And it came to pass that Saint Victor was taken from this place to another place, where he was lain to rest himself amongst sheets of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by maidens of the Orient.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and caresséd him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil of olives, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden trees.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed bits at the top of his ears. Yea verily, and did their tongues thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret places.
For fifteen days and nights did Victor withstand these maidens, until he cried out, saying:
"This...is fantastic! Oh...this is terrific!!"
And the LORD did here the cry of Victor. And verily came He down and slew the maidens. And caused their cotton wool buds to blow away, and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Victor, in his anguish, cried out that the LORD was a rotten bastard.
So the LORD sent an angel to comfort Victor for the weekend. And entered they together the jaccuzzi.

Here endeth the lesson.

And finally, the prayer from the Meaning of Life:

Quote:

Let us praise God. O Lord,...
O Lord
Ooh, You are so <big>big</big>
ooh, You are so big
So absolutely huge.
so absolutely huge.
Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
And barefaced flattery.
But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
Fantastic.
Amen.
Amen.

Fremen · 01-03-2004, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tophat665
The Lesson of St. Victor
And it came to pass that Saint Victor was taken from this place to another place, where he was lain to rest himself amongst sheets of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by maidens of the Orient.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and caresséd him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil of olives, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden trees.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed bits at the top of his ears. Yea verily, and did their tongues thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret places.
For fifteen days and nights did Victor withstand these maidens, until he cried out, saying:
"This...is fantastic! Oh...this is terrific!!"
And the LORD did here the cry of Victor. And verily came He down and slew the maidens. And caused their cotton wool buds to blow away, and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Victor, in his anguish, cried out that the LORD was a rotten bastard.
So the LORD sent an angel to comfort Victor for the weekend. And entered they together the jaccuzzi.

Here endeth the lesson.

I don't remember that one at all.
Too, too funny.

How can you not look at the group comedy gold of our past and compare it to the dreck that is currently on tv?
You can't, my friends. You can't.

InTeGrA77 · 01-04-2004, 03:30 PM

From the scene in The Holy Grail with the Black Knight, right after Arthur chops off his arm...

ARTHUR

Now stand aside worthy adversary.

BLACK KNIGHT

(Glancing at his shoulder)

'Tis but a scratch.

KWSN · 01-04-2004, 04:02 PM

I love the entire "Self Defense Against Fresh Fruit" sketch. "How Not to Be Seen" is brilliant also.

I'd have to say Palin and Idle are my favorites, just because.

cchris · 01-04-2004, 11:36 PM

And who can forget the anthem.

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me,
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you o-ra-lise
When I'm between your thighs,
You blow me awaaay.

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you,
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly,
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
And play till we're blown a-way.

InTeGrA77 · 01-05-2004, 08:04 AM

from The Meaning of Life...the scene with Mr. Creosote:

....Oh dear... I've trodden in monsieur's bucket.

Tophat665 · 01-05-2004, 08:16 AM

Some of the songs are fantastic too.
Terry Jones singing the medical Love Song; "Inflammation of the foreskin/reminds me of your smile"
Eric Idle singing Henry Kissenger: "I know some people say that you don't care/But you've got nicer legs than Hilter, and bigger tits than Cher/Henry Kissenger, how I'm missin yer/And wishin' you were here!"
Michael Palin singing the Decomposing Composers: "You can still hear Beethoven/But Beethoven Cannot hear you."

wondash · 01-06-2004, 05:37 AM

Four well-dressed men sitting together at a vacation resort. "Farewell to Thee" being played in the background on Hawaiian guitar.

Michael: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.

Graham: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?

Terry: You're right there Obediah.

Eric: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?

Michael: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

Graham: A cup o ' COLD tea.

Eric: Without milk or sugar.

Terry: OR tea!

Michael: In a filthy, cracked cup.

Eric: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

Graham: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

Terry: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

Michael: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."

Eric: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.

Graham: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!

Terry: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!

Michael: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.

Eric: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpolin, but it was a house to US.

Graham: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!

Terry: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.

Michael: Cardboard box?

Terry: Aye.

Michael: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

Graham: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!

Terry: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

Eric: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."

Michael: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

ALL: Nope, nope.

nohitters · 02-05-2005, 05:30 PM

Best monty python line EVER!
"Aw she turned me into a newt......I got better!

AHAHAHAHA i laugh just thinking about it

StanT · 02-05-2005, 05:37 PM

Every time an abortion thread gets going, I can't help but think of the song from The Meaning of Life.

Quote:

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Val_1 · 02-06-2005, 09:53 AM

I think he said, "Blessed are the Cheesemakers". - people standing way in the back during the sermon on the mount in the Life of Brian. Funny movie. My favorite Python film.

pan6467 · 02-06-2005, 10:22 PM

The Argument Clinic and the Dead Parrot have to be the greatest in my book.

Although the explanation of the coconuts in "the Hole Grail" was hilarious. As was the Black Knight scene.

And if you play a KINKS album backwards whilst watching "the Holy Grail" you'll end up with a bad needle and scratched album.

stevie667 · 02-07-2005, 01:00 AM

'RUN AWAY!' that line always makes me crack up laughing, i love it so much it's crept it's way into my normal conversation, can't be good :P

Then theres the Camelot song, upper class twit of the year and my all time favourite, the Holy Hand grenade.

It would appear that search for the holy grail is everyones favourite...

Pacifier · 02-07-2005, 02:21 AM

From Life of Brian:

Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...

I just love that

sbscout · 02-07-2005, 04:08 AM

"He IS the messiah... I ought to know, I've followed a few!"

"Life of Brian"... awesome

Daoust · 02-07-2005, 08:50 AM

There's a skit, which I don't know the name of, where there are play by play announcers doing commentary of a well known author as he begins to write his book. It starts something like " and he's writing his first word... it looks like...'the'. A great start. He's started 9 of his 10 books with a definite clause."

I forget the rest except there's a line where he says "this is Tess of the D'Ubrevilles all over again..."

Anyone remember this one?

Catmandu · 02-07-2005, 12:10 PM

A couple of my favorites:
The fish-slapping dance - 2 of them are doing this little dance where one slaps the other in the face repeated with a tiny fish. At the end, the other guy hauls out this giant mackeral and knocks the the first guy into the river. Silly but hiarious.
The other one I love is about flying pigs. Cleese is doing his fake french and explaining how pigs can fly. Halfway thru it he takes his moutache off and gives it to Palin who continues with the french stuff. Classic... But always remember, NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Sue · 02-07-2005, 12:17 PM

we're knights of the round table, we dance when'er we're able...

Sue · 02-07-2005, 12:21 PM

for all of us here:

http://www.intriguing.com/mp/

and the camelot lego movie

Charlatan · 02-07-2005, 12:56 PM

"My nipples explode with delight!"

Friends and I used to do Python sketches for the school variety show when we were in High School... we did:

"They Are Naked and they Dance" from Secret Policeman's Other Ball
"The Arguement Clinic"
"The Well Dressed Old Men"
"The Cheese Shop"

I have now introduced my son to Fawlty Towers and Monty Python... I am afraid the damage has been done...

He made his for, in context mind you, quotation of Monty Python the other day... "He asks, expecting the answer no... do you have any..."

He is a real card, my boy is...

Captain Nemo · 02-07-2005, 01:12 PM

wink wink, nudge nudge......

Pip · 02-07-2005, 02:57 PM

Say no more!

I love the Philosopher's Song:

"Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout raising the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away. Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle. Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart. I drink, therefore I am.
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed.
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed."

Not to mention the Whizzo Chocolate sketch.

"We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose."

He makes it sound so yummy!

streak_56 · 02-07-2005, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brandon11983

She turned me into a newt...... I got better...

definately mine too

12-29-2003, 10:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
InTeGrA77 Psycho Location: the tangent universe	best of monty python! I dunno if someone already had a thread on this, seeing as how search is still down, but I'll give it a try anyways! Any fans of Monty Python out there...besides me? I'm trying to think of some of the best lines in all of Monty Python's time on television. Either on The Flying Circus or in thier films, I know that there are some classic lines out there that still make me laugh when I hear them! I'll start with one that I can think of right off the top of my head, and that would be.... "Shut your festering gob, you tit!" (I think that that was an episode of The Flying Circus, but I'm not quite sure as to which one.) If you can think of any more good ones, please post...for laughs! Also, whos your fav. MP actor? Mine=Eric Idle, whos urs? __________________ 28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

12-30-2003, 01:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
RedCometChar Not Brand Ecch! Location: New Orleans	"Oh. AN 'oop. Pardon me, I'm orf to play the grahnd pi-ahno." Cleese all the way, with Idle and Palin close runners'-up. __________________ Killing that robot makes me want to go home.

12-30-2003, 02:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
Jack Ruby Psycho Location: Belgium	Aaahhahahah. "And it went... wherever I... did go." - The Meaning of Life __________________ You don't know what you don't know.

01-01-2004, 03:21 PM	#6 (permalink)
djflish The Mighty Boosh Location: I mostly come out at night, mostly...	"Welease Woger! Welease Woger!" __________________ Europes two great narcotics, Alcohol and Christianity. I know which one I prefer.

01-01-2004, 07:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
brandon11983 Stereophonic Location: Chitown!!	She turned me into a newt...... I got better... __________________ Well behaved women rarely make history.

12-30-2003, 12:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
phukraut Addict	how about: "help help! i'm being repressed! you saw him repressing me, didn't you?" from holy grail. actually that movie is filled with great lines. from flying circus: "do you wAAAnt to come back to my place?" and "i am no longer infected." ok i have to go look at my episodes again to remember the rest..

12-30-2003, 01:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Palin and Cleese are my faves. They rule. "It's people like you what cause unrest!"

01-02-2004, 01:53 AM	#8 (permalink)
Jadey This Space For Rent Location: Davenport, Iowa	King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. Soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

01-02-2004, 07:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
Cardinal Syn Insane Location: Arizona	And now for somthing completly different.

01-02-2004, 08:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
Baldrick We are everywhere... Location: Barrie, Ontario	HUGE fan! The Penguin Sketch is my alltime favorite! Pepperpot #1 - "What's that on the telly?" Pepperpot #2 - "Looks like a penguin, to me." __________________ You can be young only once, but you can be immature for the rest of your life...

01-02-2004, 09:56 PM	#11 (permalink)
PoteMatic Registered User	search for the holly grail is my favorite

01-03-2004, 12:34 AM	#12 (permalink)
hulk C'mon, just blow it. Location: Perth, Australia	Cleese, yes, he is a legend. My favourite part not already mentioned would be the tiger part of The Meaning of Life. __________________ "'There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person,' says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex." -- From an IGN game review.

01-03-2004, 01:11 AM	#13 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Man that whole Python thing still has me in stitches. My fave. Interviewer: Vince, after he nailed your head to the floor, did you ever see him again? Vince: Yeah ... After that I used to go round to his flat every Sunday lunchtime to apologise, and we'd shake hands and then he'd nail my head to the floor. Interviewer: Every Sunday? Vince: Yeah, but he was very reasonable about it. I mean one Sunday when my parents were coming round for tea, I asked him if he'd mind very much not nailing my head to the floor that week and he agreed and just screwed my pelvis to a cake stand. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

01-03-2004, 02:13 AM	#14 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	When I was a young nipper, the graphics on The Flying Circus gave me the willies. That being said, I like the graphics on the series, now. If I'm not mistaken, Terry Gilliam did most of them. My favorite member is Eric Idle, though. I love his songs. "Lo-ok on the bri-ght side of life..." __________________ Google

01-03-2004, 06:31 PM	#17 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	My personal favorite is John Cleese's rant in the dead parrot sketch. The clerk refuses to admit that the parrot is dead but is instead "pinin' for the fjords" of his native Norway: Clerk: No no! 'E's pining! Cleese: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

01-04-2004, 03:30 PM	#20 (permalink)
InTeGrA77 Psycho Location: the tangent universe	From the scene in The Holy Grail with the Black Knight, right after Arthur chops off his arm... ARTHUR Now stand aside worthy adversary. BLACK KNIGHT (Glancing at his shoulder) 'Tis but a scratch. __________________ 28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

01-04-2004, 04:02 PM	#21 (permalink)
KWSN green	I love the entire "Self Defense Against Fresh Fruit" sketch. "How Not to Be Seen" is brilliant also. I'd have to say Palin and Idle are my favorites, just because. __________________ Your arms are broken!

01-04-2004, 11:36 PM	#22 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	And who can forget the anthem. Sit on my face and tell me that you love me, I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too. I love to hear you o-ra-lise When I'm between your thighs, You blow me awaaay. Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you, I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly, Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine, If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places And play till we're blown a-way. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

01-05-2004, 08:04 AM	#23 (permalink)
InTeGrA77 Psycho Location: the tangent universe	from The Meaning of Life...the scene with Mr. Creosote: ....Oh dear... I've trodden in monsieur's bucket. __________________ 28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

01-05-2004, 08:16 AM	#24 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	Some of the songs are fantastic too. Terry Jones singing the medical Love Song; "Inflammation of the foreskin/reminds me of your smile" Eric Idle singing Henry Kissenger: "I know some people say that you don't care/But you've got nicer legs than Hilter, and bigger tits than Cher/Henry Kissenger, how I'm missin yer/And wishin' you were here!" Michael Palin singing the Decomposing Composers: "You can still hear Beethoven/But Beethoven Cannot hear you." __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

01-06-2004, 05:37 AM	#25 (permalink)
wondash Psycho	Four well-dressed men sitting together at a vacation resort. "Farewell to Thee" being played in the background on Hawaiian guitar. Michael: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable. Graham: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah? Terry: You're right there Obediah. Eric: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine? Michael: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea. Graham: A cup o ' COLD tea. Eric: Without milk or sugar. Terry: OR tea! Michael: In a filthy, cracked cup. Eric: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. Graham: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. Terry: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor. Michael: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness." Eric: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof. Graham: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING! Terry: You were lucky to have a ROOM! We used to have to live in a corridor! Michael: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph. Eric: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpolin, but it was a house to US. Graham: We were evicted from our hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake! Terry: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road. Michael: Cardboard box? Terry: Aye. Michael: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt! Graham: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY! Terry: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife. Eric: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah." Michael: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'. ALL: Nope, nope.

02-05-2005, 05:30 PM	#26 (permalink)
nohitters Tilted	Best monty python line EVER! "Aw she turned me into a newt......I got better! AHAHAHAHA i laugh just thinking about it

02-06-2005, 09:53 AM	#28 (permalink)
Val_1 Addict Location: In a State of Denial	I think he said, "Blessed are the Cheesemakers". - people standing way in the back during the sermon on the mount in the Life of Brian. Funny movie. My favorite Python film. __________________ I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -Frank Sinatra

02-06-2005, 10:22 PM	#29 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	The Argument Clinic and the Dead Parrot have to be the greatest in my book. Although the explanation of the coconuts in "the Hole Grail" was hilarious. As was the Black Knight scene. And if you play a KINKS album backwards whilst watching "the Holy Grail" you'll end up with a bad needle and scratched album. __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"

02-07-2005, 01:00 AM	#30 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	'RUN AWAY!' that line always makes me crack up laughing, i love it so much it's crept it's way into my normal conversation, can't be good :P Then theres the Camelot song, upper class twit of the year and my all time favourite, the Holy Hand grenade. It would appear that search for the holy grail is everyones favourite...

02-07-2005, 02:21 AM	#31 (permalink)
Pacifier undead Location: Duisburg, Germany	From Life of Brian: Brian: You're all different! The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different! Man in crowd: I'm not... I just love that __________________ "It seems to me that the idea of a personal God is an anthropological concept which I cannot take seriously. I also cannot imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere. Science has been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death — Albert Einstein

02-07-2005, 04:08 AM	#32 (permalink)
sbscout Disorganized Location: back home again...	"He IS the messiah... I ought to know, I've followed a few!" "Life of Brian"... awesome __________________ Always question authority... it'll keep the bastards on their toes!

02-07-2005, 08:50 AM	#33 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	There's a skit, which I don't know the name of, where there are play by play announcers doing commentary of a well known author as he begins to write his book. It starts something like " and he's writing his first word... it looks like...'the'. A great start. He's started 9 of his 10 books with a definite clause." I forget the rest except there's a line where he says "this is Tess of the D'Ubrevilles all over again..." Anyone remember this one? __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

02-07-2005, 12:10 PM	#34 (permalink)
Catmandu Insane Location: Seattle	A couple of my favorites: The fish-slapping dance - 2 of them are doing this little dance where one slaps the other in the face repeated with a tiny fish. At the end, the other guy hauls out this giant mackeral and knocks the the first guy into the river. Silly but hiarious. The other one I love is about flying pigs. Cleese is doing his fake french and explaining how pigs can fly. Halfway thru it he takes his moutache off and gives it to Palin who continues with the french stuff. Classic... But always remember, NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!

02-07-2005, 12:17 PM	#35 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	we're knights of the round table, we dance when'er we're able... __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

02-07-2005, 12:21 PM	#36 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	for all of us here: http://www.intriguing.com/mp/ and the camelot lego movie __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

02-07-2005, 12:56 PM	#37 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	"My nipples explode with delight!" Friends and I used to do Python sketches for the school variety show when we were in High School... we did: "They Are Naked and they Dance" from Secret Policeman's Other Ball "The Arguement Clinic" "The Well Dressed Old Men" "The Cheese Shop" I have now introduced my son to Fawlty Towers and Monty Python... I am afraid the damage has been done... He made his for, in context mind you, quotation of Monty Python the other day... "He asks, expecting the answer no... do you have any..." He is a real card, my boy is... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

02-07-2005, 01:12 PM	#38 (permalink)
Captain Nemo Insane Location: In a forest of red tape (but hey, I have scissors)	wink wink, nudge nudge......

02-07-2005, 02:57 PM	#39 (permalink)
Pip Likes Hats Location: Stockholm, Sweden	Say no more! I love the Philosopher's Song: "Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable. Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table. David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel, And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel. There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout raising the wrist. Socrates himself was permanently pissed. John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. Plato, they say, could stick it away. Half a crate of whiskey every day. Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle. Hobbes was fond of his dram. And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart. I drink, therefore I am. Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed. A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed." Not to mention the Whizzo Chocolate sketch. "We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose." He makes it sound so yummy!