Thoughts on engagement rings - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sage · 07-31-2005, 12:42 PM

About the wearing it all the time- DON'T!

I was told by a jeweler- from one of the best jewelery stores here in Asheville- that you don't wear your engagement ring except when you're not doing anything with your hands, doubly so if it's set into gold. See, everything you do wears on the gold- taking a shower, doing dishes, especially sleeping (because the sheets cause friction on the ring all night). So, if you want your ring to last a long time, you're supposed to take good care of it and take it off when showering/doing dishes/sleeping/ etc.

raeanna74 · 07-31-2005, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sage

About the wearing it all the time- DON'T!

I was told by a jeweler- from one of the best jewelery stores here in Asheville- that you don't wear your engagement ring except when you're not doing anything with your hands, doubly so if it's set into gold. See, everything you do wears on the gold- taking a shower, doing dishes, especially sleeping (because the sheets cause friction on the ring all night). So, if you want your ring to last a long time, you're supposed to take good care of it and take it off when showering/doing dishes/sleeping/ etc.

I know - Mine does not come off easily at this point. My finger has quite an indentation on it. The engagement and wedding bands are fixed together and the bands are fairly sturdy. Someday we'll renew our vows and perhaps replace them. They are half white and half yellow gold but mixed with an alloy and not exceptionally soft gold. Besides - I'm so forgetful that I would likely loose it before it ever wore out if I took it off everytime I washed dishes or showered (which are both frequent). I am ALWAYS doing something with my hands. Sewing, cleaning, building, weeding, mowing, dishes... You name it I do it.

Jinxed · 08-01-2005, 02:41 AM

Hopefully, when/if it ever happens, (somebody asking me to marry them) we will go ring shopping together.
I don't care how big the diamond is. Okay, thats abit of a lie, I do want to be able to see it, and show it off a lil..

But im not worried about what karat is it. I think I would be picky about what setting it had. I mean im going to be wearing this ring on my finger (for the rest of my life hopefully), I want to be able to enjoy wearing it.

Eek, Hope I don't come across as being stuck up. heh!

I want a white diamond, gold band, maybe white gold setting.. Ahh dreams are free.

hunnychile · 08-01-2005, 10:18 AM

Shani, I think your ring is totally beautiful. And congratulations!!

......Just curious, Are you Scottish? I'd love to have a similar type of ring someday.

Have fun,
hunnychile

ShaniFaye · 08-01-2005, 10:40 AM

Dave's family is scottish, Im Irish

and thank you...I think its beautiful too

maleficent · 08-01-2005, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sage

About the wearing it all the time- DON'T!

I was told by a jeweler- from one of the best jewelery stores here in Asheville- that you don't wear your engagement ring except when you're not doing anything with your hands, doubly so if it's set into gold. See, everything you do wears on the gold- taking a shower, doing dishes, especially sleeping (because the sheets cause friction on the ring all night). So, if you want your ring to last a long time, you're supposed to take good care of it and take it off when showering/doing dishes/sleeping/ etc.

My mother's engagement ring has been on her finger for the better part of 45 years.... for their 40th anniversary my father had it reset, just for something different, there was nothing wrong with the setting though... I can count the number of times it's been off her finger for more than 5 minutes on one hand.

As long as it's a good setting, wear should not be a problem

ShaniFaye · 08-01-2005, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sage

About the wearing it all the time- DON'T!

I was told by a jeweler- from one of the best jewelery stores here in Asheville- that you don't wear your engagement ring except when you're not doing anything with your hands, doubly so if it's set into gold. See, everything you do wears on the gold- taking a shower, doing dishes, especially sleeping (because the sheets cause friction on the ring all night). So, if you want your ring to last a long time, you're supposed to take good care of it and take it off when showering/doing dishes/sleeping/ etc.

good thing I cant stand gold and only wear silver!!!!

*Nikki* · 08-01-2005, 12:28 PM

In related news......

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8669399/#storyContinued

lillala · 08-01-2005, 04:02 PM

I think it's interesting that a lot of you say forget about an engagement ring. I don't agree with the girls who refuse the ring because it's too small or not what they wanted but in my opinion, if the guy wants to marry you, he should know what kind of ring you want on your finger everyday for the rest of your life. That shouldn't even be an issue. I also think that engagement rings are important though. I don't see them as labeling you as someone's property. Maybe I'm just the girly girl who likes sparkly things... but I can't wait until I get my engagement ring.

little_tippler · 08-02-2005, 04:21 AM

engagement rings....pfffff....weddings.....pfffff.....not important at all.

ShaniFaye · 08-02-2005, 04:49 AM

I used to feel weddings werent important....thats why I didnt have one the first time I got married....15 years later I have a whole other outlook on it...and Im glad to say that I am having a "wedding" this time

maleficent · 08-02-2005, 05:00 AM

I'm inclined to agree with tippler - that weddings are not important - a wedding has become an 'event' and the idea that it's two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together (or at least until someone better comes along) gets lost and it becomes about the flowers and the dresses and the tuxedos and what are we having for dinner and how long shoudl the cocktail hour be... (being home the past two weeks, I've caught snippets of The Today shows wedding garbage or even any of the bridal shows on the tube... that's not about the joining of lives -it's about having the biggest and the baddest wedding.

If I were to ever find someone dumb enough to marry me, the way my brother and his wife did it was perfect (I really didnt have a high opinion of my brother until he pulled this off) he and his now wife and a friend who was a minister, as well as two friends to serve as witnesses hiked up to the top of some mountain near Seattle (where he was living) on New Years Eve... and tied the knot. They told no one except the minister ahead of time... Not even the witnesses knew.

A few weeks later, they threw aparty for their friends. My m other freaked out but the pictures they had were of two people in love, sharing the moment for themselves. and 5 + years later, that love is still very evident.

Weddings are just entirely too materialistic... going to the courthouse and a party afterwards just seems more of a private, two people in love, not after the loot idea of what a wedding should represent.

Yes, I am bitter, I've been to too many weddings as a guest and as an attendant, and spent entirely too much money on wedding gifts only to have the marriage fail to beleive that a wedding is anything other thana social event where one person wears a white dress.

ShaniFaye · 08-02-2005, 05:05 AM

/I dont think my wedding is materialistic

maleficent · 08-02-2005, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

/I dont think my wedding is materialistic

Did not say yours was... watch some of those lame wedding shows on the tv.. those weddings will not make it five years because it's all about the event and not about love of another person.

I think the divorce rate is something like 60 percent now... I live in a very italian area - there are two monstrous churches within 1 mile from me... there are weddings every weekend... the weddings are the little girls dream of the fairy princess poufy dress with the 15 attendents in satin and the men looking dashing in their tuxes... These girls (they are not women) are getting their fantasy wedding -- will this marriage go the distance? Probably not - because they want the wedding not the marriage.

If weddings were simpler and less involved -- many of these 22 year old fairy princess brides would put more thought into getting married and the divorce rate would drop.

People do not often equate a wedding with til death do us part for better or worse marriage.

That's just my opinion and I admit to bitterness.

ShaniFaye · 08-02-2005, 05:18 AM

lol Dave and I watch Who's wedding is it anyway, Bridezilla's and Wedding Altered religioulsy.....mainly to laugh at them, but I have seen one or two decorating ideas that I really liked.....but like I said mainly to laugh at the obscene amounts of money these girls spend.

Dave and I just reached the 3000 mark of our 5000 budget (including the honeymoon)

JustJess · 08-02-2005, 05:23 AM

I have to agree that the wedding business is a little over-healthy. If Q's family hadn't been a bit more traditional (and thus willing pay to have things be a bit more traditional), I doubt we'd have gone that route. It's a great day, but it IS one day! I was pleased that even tho I did have to have certain traditional elements, we really made the day ours. We sang to each other during the ceremony, we started the reception with a horah (sp?) even tho it wasn't a Jewish wedding, we danced down the aisle after the ceremony... little things. Just little things.

Those shows... man, when I was planning my wedding, I avoided them at all costs, cause those women just scare me! Those people daydream about what their wedding will be like their whole lives, before they ever meet that person... *shudder* I never did. It just didn't occur to me.

I like the minister-friend thing... we got one of our old college professors ordained so he could marry us. (I'm/he's not religious, and why would I/he want a stranger to do such a personal thing???)

ShaniFaye · 08-02-2005, 05:29 AM

i agree....we are having our best friend marry us

I cant say I didnt dream about my wedding....there were things I that I was sorry I didnt have the first time, since it was a courthouse affair...with no party afterwards. When my ex and I were still good we planned on a vow renewal at 10 years and there were things I def thought about wanting.....now I get them with Dave

JustJess · 08-02-2005, 05:41 AM

But that's different. You had met someone to have a wedding WITH. That's what I don't get about those other crazies... it's the wedding of their dreams with [insert appropriate looking and earning man here]. Ugh.

little_tippler · 08-02-2005, 09:37 AM

I agree, weddings are a pretty event. Lots of beautiful decorations, you looking stunning (hopefully better than you ever did before), him looking like prince charming...a huge party in your honour, it's good to have one if only for that.

I agree with mal, simple weddings that focus on the true meaning of a couple's love are far more poignant. I hate those weddings where your family invites more people than you do yourself and all they want to do is show you off...I think if I had to do that I'd scream.

But hey what girl wouldn't want the ring, the beautiful dress, the flowers, everybody fawning over you and you having a fantastic day? Even if it might be just another big party!

And good luck to you Shani, may your wedding day be only the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

ShaniFaye · 08-02-2005, 09:48 AM

Simple wedding does not mean it has to be in a courthouse, lots of simple weddings are held in churches too, just like ours, Simple means (to me anyway) you dont have an over abundance of attendants....one per person works just fine for a "simple" wedding..... private does not mean a low guest count...private means only those that you truley want there, and not some friend of a friend of your boss, are there.

I can guarantee that anyone at our wedding will without a doubt know that the entire thing was about mine and dave's love for each other....and NOT about showing off, and that its the declaration of continuing a beautiful relationship that began 2 years ago.

/I think I need to not talk about wedding stuff for the rest of the day, somehow I feel on the defensive and I dont know why

JustJess · 08-02-2005, 10:44 AM

(don't worry, Shani, no one would imagine you to be a Bridezilla or remotely shallow. you just provided an outlet to bitch about the ones who were/are. Just as an FYI. :P)

ShaniFaye · 08-02-2005, 10:53 AM

whew....I know I've had my days....but I've tried REAL hard not to be one...some days you just cant help it....thats when I blame PMS

I just wanted to point out that "simple" doesnt always only mean wearing your church clothes to the courthouse.

JustJess · 08-02-2005, 11:28 AM

I agree. Me too.
Simple was what I was going for, but my version of simple would seem gauche to some and overdone to others... as always in this sort of thing, you just have to make you and Dave happy and not be awful to others. The rest will make do.

Gilda · 08-02-2005, 11:57 AM

The wedding, like the ring, is important symbolically only. It is the marriage that matters. I think it should be an opportunity for the couple to make a commitment to each other and to share that moment with family and friends.

I can remember growing up going to a dozen weddings of people I'd never met, and that my parents had only a vague connection to. My father's business partner's brother, or my mom's friend's cousin, or a partner in my uncle's law firm etc, or a distant cousin whose relationship had to be explained in terms of second cousin twice removed and so forth.

These were all big, major events, tens of thousands of dollars, dresses of several thousand, detailed discussions of the size and cut of the ring, etc.

When Grace and I were married, since it wasn't a legal ceremony, but a spiritual commitment, the courthouse wasn't really an option, though that might be how we'll do it if at some point it does become legeal.

We considered having it at Star Trek: The Experience. The wedding ceremony is on the bridge of the Enterprise, and the reception at Quark's bar, and it's really pretty reasoanble in price.

We also thought about the Church of the Reflections at Knott's Berry Farm. At the time, three years ago, it was in the middle of the park, though it's since been moved. All of the good days were booked well in advance, though, and it's fairly expensive, and it does tend to be for more elaborate setups with a lot of guests.

And given that, between us, we had one family member, Sissy, and Grace's partner from work and his wife as guests, those places might have been more expense than they were worth. So we just had the minister at our church perform a short ceremony for us and anyone from the congregation who wanted to come, which turned out to be about 20 people.

Still, the Star Trek wedding does have a lot of appeal, and it would be so cool to do that on our anniversary, or possibly when it becomes possible to make it legal.

Sissy became so enamored of the Church of the Reflections at KBF that she's decided, for now anyway, that if she has any say about it that is definitely where she wants to be married. The fact that she has no boyfriend doesn't seem to enter into the equation; in her mind, she's going to be married some day, and it will be in a church with a big poofy dress. I suppose it's partly my fault for telling her Grace and I would pay for her wedding when it comes time, within reason.

Grasshopper Green · 08-03-2005, 04:48 PM

I wanted to post this but had to figure hotlinking out first....

Anyway, this is my wedding ring. It's a synthetic emerald with synthetic diamonds (I'm assuming, I know the emerald is synthetic) set into real gold...and I love it. It wasn't very expensive, about 350 dollars if I remember correctly. I love this ring; just because it was "cheap" doesn't mean that it means less to me.

ShaniFaye · 08-04-2005, 03:13 AM

(I think Daniel forgot this is the ladies lounge

)

Medusa thats gorgeous!!!!

bad jane · 08-08-2005, 11:50 AM

well, call me shallow but if i got a crappy ring i wouldn't wear it :P that isn't to say it has to cost 20k, but if i think it is ugly as sin, i'm not wearing it. in fact, if it cost 20k chances are i'd think it was gaudy and wouldn't wear it either lol

i don't have any real hang-ups about a ring. should i ever receive another one, all i ask is that it is simple and fits my personality and lifestyle. should i get engaged and not get a ring, that works too.

so perhaps i'm shallow in that i wouldn't wear a ring i hate--but it isn't because i'm so shallow that the ring must fit certain specifications, just shallow enough that i'd rather have no ring than something that made me cringe every time i looked at it! no need to break the bank on a ring, but if i'm not going to wear it because i don't like it, why bother spending any money on it at all?

ShaniFaye · 08-08-2005, 12:07 PM

I dont call that shallow bad jane...there is a BIG difference between it fitting your personality and it being something that you deminded because of the cost

LuckyGirl · 08-09-2005, 06:39 PM

I just recently got engaged and it was a big suprise to me - my boyfriend and I had gone out and looked and stones and rings and had done the whole online browsing as well, and after knowing that I liked simple bands with a round diamond - i told him the rest of it really didn't matter (which I don't think he believed) - but honestly I just kinda realized it wasn't that important and that I wanted for him to go out and pick out what he thought was the perfect ring - a couple of weeks later we are in Vegas and are first night there he up and proposes to me in Caesars Palace and I really didn't even look at the ring until about half an hour later - and he did a great job. I don't understand the girls who go out and have to have a certain kind of ring - isn't the important thing to find the right perfect kind of guy?

Peacefool · 08-23-2005, 01:52 PM

oh_shesus, to answer your questions IMHO:

Why are some women so picky about an engagement ring?

Most women I've spoken to have dreamed about all their LIVES what their e-ring will look like and I think when they get one that doesn't look like what they've dreamed of they feel cheated/disappointed, even if they don't mean to be.

What do you think the purpose of the ring is?

I think it's purpose is to solidify the fact that you're committed to getting married.

Has anyone ever refused a ring and made the guy take it back?

I've never heard of anyone who's ever done that. Personally, I'd never ever do that.

hapa · 04-24-2010, 11:50 PM

Well assuming I get married to my current guy (and I hope we do!) I think he would be pickier about the size of the ring, but I might be more particular about the style. We would both have to like it, of course. His family (and hence, the way he was raised) enjoys spending money on things like that (jewelry, designer handbags, etc.) as a way to show their status, I suppose. I can't say I really agree with it, but I doubt he will ever get that out of his head as he can be real stubborn at times.

His father, and the rest of the men in his family do not wear a wedding rings and therefore my guy refuses to, but he did say he would like to have one tattooed on his finger instead

snowy · 04-25-2010, 10:56 AM

Whoa, talk about a thread from the dead! I also can't believe I never responded to this thread back in 2005. What's funny is that just a few weeks after this thread started, I met my wonderful fiance

I insisted that I pick out my own engagement ring, and while my SO had his doubts about that at first (he was caught up in romantic notions of "it should be a surprise"--whatever), he said to a friend of ours the other night that he was glad that he had let me pick out my own ring, because ultimately he would have no idea what to pick and wouldn't have thought about all of the things I thought of. I work with small children, and I wanted something that wouldn't catch on them.

I found my ring at Costco. It was very reasonable (it actually cost less than the assessed value) and thus we were able to pay cash. It's a pretty simple ring, but the moment I saw it, I knew that was it. I think it suits me.

One of my fiance's aunts said it best: "You can always trade up later." It's not a good idea to buy a ring on credit and end up unable to pay the bill. Better to buy something simple at first, because once you're established and financially stable, you can always buy something flashier if you like.

Edit: As for doing dishes, I keep my ring on but I wear these: http://www.playtexproductsinc.com/gl...ing_gloves.asp

07-31-2005, 12:42 PM	#41 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	About the wearing it all the time- DON'T! I was told by a jeweler- from one of the best jewelery stores here in Asheville- that you don't wear your engagement ring except when you're not doing anything with your hands, doubly so if it's set into gold. See, everything you do wears on the gold- taking a shower, doing dishes, especially sleeping (because the sheets cause friction on the ring all night). So, if you want your ring to last a long time, you're supposed to take good care of it and take it off when showering/doing dishes/sleeping/ etc. __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

08-01-2005, 10:18 AM	#44 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	Shani, I think your ring is totally beautiful. And congratulations!! ......Just curious, Are you Scottish? I'd love to have a similar type of ring someday. Have fun, hunnychile __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

08-01-2005, 10:40 AM	#45 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Dave's family is scottish, Im Irish and thank you...I think its beautiful too __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-02-2005, 04:21 AM	#50 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	engagement rings....pfffff....weddings.....pfffff.....not important at all. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

08-02-2005, 04:49 AM	#51 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I used to feel weddings werent important....thats why I didnt have one the first time I got married....15 years later I have a whole other outlook on it...and Im glad to say that I am having a "wedding" this time __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-01-2005, 02:41 AM	#43 (permalink)
Jinxed Upright Location: New Zealand	Hopefully, when/if it ever happens, (somebody asking me to marry them) we will go ring shopping together. I don't care how big the diamond is. Okay, thats abit of a lie, I do want to be able to see it, and show it off a lil.. But im not worried about what karat is it. I think I would be picky about what setting it had. I mean im going to be wearing this ring on my finger (for the rest of my life hopefully), I want to be able to enjoy wearing it. Eek, Hope I don't come across as being stuck up. heh! I want a white diamond, gold band, maybe white gold setting.. Ahh dreams are free.

08-01-2005, 12:28 PM	#48 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	In related news...... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8669399/#storyContinued

08-01-2005, 04:02 PM	#49 (permalink)
lillala Upright Location: Thousand Oaks, CA	I think it's interesting that a lot of you say forget about an engagement ring. I don't agree with the girls who refuse the ring because it's too small or not what they wanted but in my opinion, if the guy wants to marry you, he should know what kind of ring you want on your finger everyday for the rest of your life. That shouldn't even be an issue. I also think that engagement rings are important though. I don't see them as labeling you as someone's property. Maybe I'm just the girly girl who likes sparkly things... but I can't wait until I get my engagement ring.

08-02-2005, 05:00 AM	#52 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I'm inclined to agree with tippler - that weddings are not important - a wedding has become an 'event' and the idea that it's two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together (or at least until someone better comes along) gets lost and it becomes about the flowers and the dresses and the tuxedos and what are we having for dinner and how long shoudl the cocktail hour be... (being home the past two weeks, I've caught snippets of The Today shows wedding garbage or even any of the bridal shows on the tube... that's not about the joining of lives -it's about having the biggest and the baddest wedding. If I were to ever find someone dumb enough to marry me, the way my brother and his wife did it was perfect (I really didnt have a high opinion of my brother until he pulled this off) he and his now wife and a friend who was a minister, as well as two friends to serve as witnesses hiked up to the top of some mountain near Seattle (where he was living) on New Years Eve... and tied the knot. They told no one except the minister ahead of time... Not even the witnesses knew. A few weeks later, they threw aparty for their friends. My m other freaked out but the pictures they had were of two people in love, sharing the moment for themselves. and 5 + years later, that love is still very evident. Weddings are just entirely too materialistic... going to the courthouse and a party afterwards just seems more of a private, two people in love, not after the loot idea of what a wedding should represent. Yes, I am bitter, I've been to too many weddings as a guest and as an attendant, and spent entirely too much money on wedding gifts only to have the marriage fail to beleive that a wedding is anything other thana social event where one person wears a white dress. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-02-2005, 05:05 AM	#53 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	/I dont think my wedding is materialistic __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-02-2005, 05:18 AM	#55 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	lol Dave and I watch Who's wedding is it anyway, Bridezilla's and Wedding Altered religioulsy.....mainly to laugh at them, but I have seen one or two decorating ideas that I really liked.....but like I said mainly to laugh at the obscene amounts of money these girls spend. Dave and I just reached the 3000 mark of our 5000 budget (including the honeymoon) __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-02-2005, 05:23 AM	#56 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	I have to agree that the wedding business is a little over-healthy. If Q's family hadn't been a bit more traditional (and thus willing pay to have things be a bit more traditional), I doubt we'd have gone that route. It's a great day, but it IS one day! I was pleased that even tho I did have to have certain traditional elements, we really made the day ours. We sang to each other during the ceremony, we started the reception with a horah (sp?) even tho it wasn't a Jewish wedding, we danced down the aisle after the ceremony... little things. Just little things. Those shows... man, when I was planning my wedding, I avoided them at all costs, cause those women just scare me! Those people daydream about what their wedding will be like their whole lives, before they ever meet that person... shudder I never did. It just didn't occur to me. I like the minister-friend thing... we got one of our old college professors ordained so he could marry us. (I'm/he's not religious, and why would I/he want a stranger to do such a personal thing???) __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

08-02-2005, 05:29 AM	#57 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	i agree....we are having our best friend marry us I cant say I didnt dream about my wedding....there were things I that I was sorry I didnt have the first time, since it was a courthouse affair...with no party afterwards. When my ex and I were still good we planned on a vow renewal at 10 years and there were things I def thought about wanting.....now I get them with Dave __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-02-2005, 05:41 AM	#58 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	But that's different. You had met someone to have a wedding WITH. That's what I don't get about those other crazies... it's the wedding of their dreams with [insert appropriate looking and earning man here]. Ugh. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

08-02-2005, 09:37 AM	#59 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	I agree, weddings are a pretty event. Lots of beautiful decorations, you looking stunning (hopefully better than you ever did before), him looking like prince charming...a huge party in your honour, it's good to have one if only for that. I agree with mal, simple weddings that focus on the true meaning of a couple's love are far more poignant. I hate those weddings where your family invites more people than you do yourself and all they want to do is show you off...I think if I had to do that I'd scream. But hey what girl wouldn't want the ring, the beautiful dress, the flowers, everybody fawning over you and you having a fantastic day? Even if it might be just another big party! And good luck to you Shani, may your wedding day be only the beginning of a beautiful relationship. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

08-02-2005, 09:48 AM	#60 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Simple wedding does not mean it has to be in a courthouse, lots of simple weddings are held in churches too, just like ours, Simple means (to me anyway) you dont have an over abundance of attendants....one per person works just fine for a "simple" wedding..... private does not mean a low guest count...private means only those that you truley want there, and not some friend of a friend of your boss, are there. I can guarantee that anyone at our wedding will without a doubt know that the entire thing was about mine and dave's love for each other....and NOT about showing off, and that its the declaration of continuing a beautiful relationship that began 2 years ago. /I think I need to not talk about wedding stuff for the rest of the day, somehow I feel on the defensive and I dont know why __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-02-2005, 10:44 AM	#61 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	(don't worry, Shani, no one would imagine you to be a Bridezilla or remotely shallow. you just provided an outlet to bitch about the ones who were/are. Just as an FYI. :P) __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

08-02-2005, 10:53 AM	#62 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	whew....I know I've had my days....but I've tried REAL hard not to be one...some days you just cant help it....thats when I blame PMS I just wanted to point out that "simple" doesnt always only mean wearing your church clothes to the courthouse. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-02-2005, 11:28 AM	#63 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	I agree. Me too. Simple was what I was going for, but my version of simple would seem gauche to some and overdone to others... as always in this sort of thing, you just have to make you and Dave happy and not be awful to others. The rest will make do. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

08-02-2005, 11:57 AM	#64 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	The wedding, like the ring, is important symbolically only. It is the marriage that matters. I think it should be an opportunity for the couple to make a commitment to each other and to share that moment with family and friends. I can remember growing up going to a dozen weddings of people I'd never met, and that my parents had only a vague connection to. My father's business partner's brother, or my mom's friend's cousin, or a partner in my uncle's law firm etc, or a distant cousin whose relationship had to be explained in terms of second cousin twice removed and so forth. These were all big, major events, tens of thousands of dollars, dresses of several thousand, detailed discussions of the size and cut of the ring, etc. When Grace and I were married, since it wasn't a legal ceremony, but a spiritual commitment, the courthouse wasn't really an option, though that might be how we'll do it if at some point it does become legeal. We considered having it at Star Trek: The Experience. The wedding ceremony is on the bridge of the Enterprise, and the reception at Quark's bar, and it's really pretty reasoanble in price. We also thought about the Church of the Reflections at Knott's Berry Farm. At the time, three years ago, it was in the middle of the park, though it's since been moved. All of the good days were booked well in advance, though, and it's fairly expensive, and it does tend to be for more elaborate setups with a lot of guests. And given that, between us, we had one family member, Sissy, and Grace's partner from work and his wife as guests, those places might have been more expense than they were worth. So we just had the minister at our church perform a short ceremony for us and anyone from the congregation who wanted to come, which turned out to be about 20 people. Still, the Star Trek wedding does have a lot of appeal, and it would be so cool to do that on our anniversary, or possibly when it becomes possible to make it legal. Sissy became so enamored of the Church of the Reflections at KBF that she's decided, for now anyway, that if she has any say about it that is definitely where she wants to be married. The fact that she has no boyfriend doesn't seem to enter into the equation; in her mind, she's going to be married some day, and it will be in a church with a big poofy dress. I suppose it's partly my fault for telling her Grace and I would pay for her wedding when it comes time, within reason. __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert

08-03-2005, 04:48 PM	#65 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	I wanted to post this but had to figure hotlinking out first.... Anyway, this is my wedding ring. It's a synthetic emerald with synthetic diamonds (I'm assuming, I know the emerald is synthetic) set into real gold...and I love it. It wasn't very expensive, about 350 dollars if I remember correctly. I love this ring; just because it was "cheap" doesn't mean that it means less to me. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

08-04-2005, 03:13 AM	#66 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	(I think Daniel forgot this is the ladies lounge ) Medusa thats gorgeous!!!! __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-08-2005, 11:50 AM	#67 (permalink)
bad jane Insane	well, call me shallow but if i got a crappy ring i wouldn't wear it :P that isn't to say it has to cost 20k, but if i think it is ugly as sin, i'm not wearing it. in fact, if it cost 20k chances are i'd think it was gaudy and wouldn't wear it either lol i don't have any real hang-ups about a ring. should i ever receive another one, all i ask is that it is simple and fits my personality and lifestyle. should i get engaged and not get a ring, that works too. so perhaps i'm shallow in that i wouldn't wear a ring i hate--but it isn't because i'm so shallow that the ring must fit certain specifications, just shallow enough that i'd rather have no ring than something that made me cringe every time i looked at it! no need to break the bank on a ring, but if i'm not going to wear it because i don't like it, why bother spending any money on it at all?

08-08-2005, 12:07 PM	#68 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I dont call that shallow bad jane...there is a BIG difference between it fitting your personality and it being something that you deminded because of the cost __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-09-2005, 06:39 PM	#69 (permalink)
LuckyGirl Upright	I just recently got engaged and it was a big suprise to me - my boyfriend and I had gone out and looked and stones and rings and had done the whole online browsing as well, and after knowing that I liked simple bands with a round diamond - i told him the rest of it really didn't matter (which I don't think he believed) - but honestly I just kinda realized it wasn't that important and that I wanted for him to go out and pick out what he thought was the perfect ring - a couple of weeks later we are in Vegas and are first night there he up and proposes to me in Caesars Palace and I really didn't even look at the ring until about half an hour later - and he did a great job. I don't understand the girls who go out and have to have a certain kind of ring - isn't the important thing to find the right perfect kind of guy? Last edited by LuckyGirl; 08-11-2005 at 06:50 PM..

08-23-2005, 01:52 PM	#70 (permalink)
Peacefool Upright	oh_shesus, to answer your questions IMHO: <i>Why are some women so picky about an engagement ring?</i> Most women I've spoken to have dreamed about all their LIVES what their e-ring will look like and I think when they get one that doesn't look like what they've dreamed of they feel cheated/disappointed, even if they don't mean to be. <i>What do you think the purpose of the ring is?</i> I think it's purpose is to solidify the fact that you're committed to getting married. <i>Has anyone ever refused a ring and made the guy take it back?</i> I've never heard of anyone who's ever done that. Personally, I'd never ever do that.

04-24-2010, 11:50 PM	#71 (permalink)
hapa Upright	Well assuming I get married to my current guy (and I hope we do!) I think he would be pickier about the size of the ring, but I might be more particular about the style. We would both have to like it, of course. His family (and hence, the way he was raised) enjoys spending money on things like that (jewelry, designer handbags, etc.) as a way to show their status, I suppose. I can't say I really agree with it, but I doubt he will ever get that out of his head as he can be real stubborn at times. His father, and the rest of the men in his family do not wear a wedding rings and therefore my guy refuses to, but he did say he would like to have one tattooed on his finger instead

04-25-2010, 10:56 AM	#72 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Whoa, talk about a thread from the dead! I also can't believe I never responded to this thread back in 2005. What's funny is that just a few weeks after this thread started, I met my wonderful fiance I insisted that I pick out my own engagement ring, and while my SO had his doubts about that at first (he was caught up in romantic notions of "it should be a surprise"--whatever), he said to a friend of ours the other night that he was glad that he had let me pick out my own ring, because ultimately he would have no idea what to pick and wouldn't have thought about all of the things I thought of. I work with small children, and I wanted something that wouldn't catch on them. I found my ring at Costco. It was very reasonable (it actually cost less than the assessed value) and thus we were able to pay cash. It's a pretty simple ring, but the moment I saw it, I knew that was it. I think it suits me. One of my fiance's aunts said it best: "You can always trade up later." It's not a good idea to buy a ring on credit and end up unable to pay the bill. Better to buy something simple at first, because once you're established and financially stable, you can always buy something flashier if you like. Edit: As for doing dishes, I keep my ring on but I wear these: http://www.playtexproductsinc.com/gl...ing_gloves.asp __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau Last edited by snowy; 04-26-2010 at 12:30 PM..