Brooke

Livia Regina has been a witness to this for the last four months. I am dealing with my feelings for an ex-SO that are very strange. This person IS the same person he was when we were dating, but became unable to communicate with me over the summer break - long distance, and therefore- FOR ME - became a different person. This insinuation hurts him alot because he can not comprehend how communication defines a person to another. I am an extrovert, and he is and extremem introvert. For me the loss of his communication was a stab in the heart, whereas he simply stated one "state of being" for him and expected me to accept that in him.

Not to drag it out, he broke it off in August, but we are at the same school - and run into eachother more than I would like for as hurt as I feel. It is odd, I dont want to be away from him - but I want to be near to him in a manner I can no longer ask - for it will hurt me as much as he can not give it. He can not be the person I fell in love with.

So the thing is. gosh, I am not even sure- just kinda pouring my soul out here ont he message board - but the point is that when I choose to love someone and ocmmit (and damn was it a serious relationship) It is heart for me to break those heartstrings. Understand - this person is not a bastard, and never lied to me, but could not be more than himself to save our relationship.

I am near to breaking the last string, and I must because it is not even a sure thing that I am ever going to see him again, finances being the way that they are. But I must.

help?

__________________
And so its over
Your fantasy life is finally at an end
And the world above is still a brutal place
And the story will start again

lurkette

I think it's odd that you would say he became a different person. This does imply a shift in personality or something, and it sounds like you knew he was an introvert.

You say he was "unable" to communicate because of distance. Is it that he was unable, or that he did not make the effort you thought was warranted by the strength of your feelings for each other?

If the issue is that you've become aware of a tendency of his that you weren't aware of before that makes you think he can't give you what you want, then by all means cut ties.

If the issue is that you had expectations and when he didn't fulfill them you interpreted that as lack of feeling on his part, you may want to revisit things. If this is the case, you're pouring a whole lot of meaning and interpretation onto something that may be just as simple as differnet communication styles. Adjusting expectations on your part and adjusting behavior on his part might solve things.

Good luck!

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Brooke

I think that snags it. I am someone who needs a constant line oc communication. Even if it is a promise "I will tell you later." - I was to immature this summer though to accept that in him. I had to know THEN. My impaitence was what shot me in the end. My impaitence to be there for him and do something to help - when I could not even do anything for myself.

It takes Two to Tango - and he is not to fully blame, but I can't take several weeks of waiting to see what our relationship will be like the next time we get together. My next time will be different, because I hopefully plan on learnign from this - and I have my regrets - but he too was a newbie at romance, and we together did not have the skills to keep things at the level they were over a long distance period of several months.

My expectations were high - but we were both "high" on eachother when we left and had yet to see the truly down parts of our natures. I truly beleive that if I had been physically there I would have been better able to understand - but then I would not have learned so much over loosing him.

Adjusting at this point is hopeless. There is nothing there to adjust to - because he is even unwilling to adjust to what I need as a friend. I need a friend who will search me out once in a blue moon. I want my friend back more at this point - but I can't be going and doing the getting, ifin you know what I mean.

I am just a bit lost right now. I am a do'er and I have nothing to do but sit and be okay with myself. the hardest thing I have ever faced - but I must/have to do this. This is my project for the next three week break from school.

__________________
And so its over
Your fantasy life is finally at an end
And the world above is still a brutal place
And the story will start again