qtpye4u84

old thread destroy lol

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The QTpie

maleficent

You are still so young with so much growing up and experiencing life to do... Don't force something that's not there with your current boyfriend.

4 years, especially 4 years from being a teenager, to a young adult is a huge jump, you've changed, your feelings are going to change, liking someone else woudl be normal.

Change is good. It makes you open your eyes and see things differently and prevents you from getting into a rut. Think of it as getting your hair cut. Long hair might be nice, but getting all the ratty ends trimmed off are healthy for your hair.
Not a good reason to stay with someone... but there's no reason why you coudln't stay friends
Why would he do that? Why would you stay with someone who might talk trash about you. If you think he'd say bad things, then you should run away fast, now, because it'd mean he's an immature ass.
You can like him as person, but not be interested in him romantically
OK - so what's the problem
No offence, but stupid reason... there are other cell phone companies. At your age you can get a different cell phone

You don't have to settle for either one-- have some fun for a while

What are you looking for from him?
Sounds like a good endorsement, but the only opnion that matters is yours

You won't be working minimum wage jobs forever, and you should not rely on someone else for your financial support, you should be relying on yourself. DOn't settle for the current boyfriend because you don't think you can make it on your own -- you will never be completely happy otherwise

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qtpye4u84

anyone know how to delete old threads

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The QTpie

maleficent

Breaking up with someone is never easy... You have to do what is right for you... Be honest with him and with your feelings... It hurts now, but the happies will come back pretty soon...

Good luck and good thoughts with you... you'll be fine...

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qtpye4u84

Thank you. You are good at this lol.

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The QTpie

StormBerlin

Think really hard about what you are going to do. Make sure throwing away your long relationship to someone you care about is really what you want to do because if you do it and you think you've made a mistake, don't expect it to be forgiven (it might be, but just don't expect it). It sounds to me like the guy you're with now has a lot of good qualities: you care about him, number one. Then he's financially secure. This is a really big deal because most guys I know at that age are just "working to make a living" not really focusing on the future and it sounds like your guy is. Just make sure you know what you are giving up before you do it is all i'm saying.

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"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

maleficent

I had to find it -- cause I remembered an earlier situation -- but was this the same boyfriend from this situation?

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=55737

did that ever get resolved?

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qtpye4u84

lalalalal

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The QTpie

*Nikki*

Whatever you do don't just move out when he isn't home. That is about the worst thing someone can do. He deserves for you to talk this out with him. Since you have been together so long you at least owe him that much. Leaving without an explanation is the coward way out. I know, I have had it done to me.

indigochild111

Breaking up with someone you have been together with for a long time is very hard. After a certain time, it's almost like you start to lose your identity without the other person. NOt that it is intentional, but it happens. People think of you together, you think of yourself together. To change that is very, very difficult. But sometimes it is for the best. Especially when you started the relationship at a young age. I know this from experience. My first very serious (and I do mean serious) relationship started when I had just turned 14. Freshman in highschool, everything was new to me. I had someone I could always turn to. At this strange point in my life, I held on to my boyfriend at all costs. We became like one person because I was a little too young to know the real importance of true independence. I counted on him to define me. And then, slowly, I started to think about all the things I was never going to get to do if I stayed with him. There were so many things that I wanted to experience. And I was afraid I would regret too much, and regret can tear a relationship apart. So, although it hurt worse than anything I had ever had to do, I broke up with him. At first it killed me to see him everyday. But it got better and now I am so much happier without him. He actually was a terrible boyfriend...but I guess that's a different story.

My point is that, although it seems so hard, if you are really contemplating other people and life without your guy, it is time to move on. I think everyone needs to experience other people before they settle down. If you are really meant to be, then you will end up back together. But can you honestly spend the rest of your life wondering..what if?

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Breathe out,
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Hold you in

qtpye4u84

hi

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The QTpie

qtpye4u84

pokpok

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The QTpie

amonkie

Let it out - it's ok to hurt. * Hug * And come here before you think about the bridge, ok?

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

maleficent

Crying isn't a bad thing... and is probably therapeutic.

Jumping off a bridge, I wouldn't reccommend... water is probably cold -and well -- it's just not a good idea.

Rely on your friends now.. they'll get you thru... Remind yourself as to why you did it... it hurts now-- but - it won't forever...

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*Nikki*

Friends are what made life possible for me when I went through a situation like yours.

Know that you have plenty here

indigochild111

***HUGS***

I'm sorry that you are hurting. Crying is good. Chocolate is good. Movie nites with girlfriends are good. And venting is good.

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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in
Hold you in

Hash_Browns

I hope everything works out and that you keep yourself surrounded by friends and family. They will help you out in more ways then you know If you are feeling down, don't hide away somewhere, surround yourself with people you trust and they will listen! Good luck sweetie! Remember, you did this to LIVE your life for you!

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Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

qtpye4u84

sdvsdvdsz

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The QTpie

*Nikki*

Sometimes a relationship after a relationship is not bad at all. It can be a good thing. I was with my ex for six years then met my current bf like a month later. We are now planning to be married next year. It worked out, it can for you too.

Just take it as slow as you can. Being independant is hard, getting used to not having someone sleeping next to you is hard. However once you get used to it you will love it. I have lived alone for almost 2 years now and I love my freedom and the bed is all mine most of the time.

Redgirl

Well, QT, I think you are just prolonging the agony for both of you. If you really like the other guy more then it's better to make a clean break with your current guy. Unless you think this was a wake up call to your current guy to change something about the relationship and then you will fall in love all over again with him?

My brother is like you, he's on wife #3 and he always started the next relationship before the first one was over- he freely admits that he can't be alone. I see that as a problem: you can't rely on other people to make you happy or you will never really know yourself.

I have been in the same place you are. I started dating my husband at 16 and during college (around your age) I started to have all kinds of doubts about myself and if I was making the right decision. It was rocky for awhile but I eventually figured out that I can be myself and independent AND grow and change with this relationship. 12 yrs later we're married and going strong.

I'm only telling you all this so you will think about what you really want- relationships require some work, no matter what. So it's work with the current one, or work with the new one. Probably the real answer has to do with you and not either guy.

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

qtpye4u84

sdfsd

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The QTpie

little_tippler

Sometimes it's too hard to let go...maybe you're not ready yet. Even so, having left for a while may have helped to open your eyes? That perhaps you can do this, with time, be on your own and live for yourself and your dreams? You sound very confused. If you're not sure about either guy, maybe you should learn to face your biggest fear...being alone and actually daring to be happy that way. Good luck to you sweetie

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Sweetpea

Life isn't drawn out on a map because we're all just people making free will choices . . . plus, that would be super boring, but might sound much easier at the moment in your life

It's not any easier for men Everyone goes through this, you are not alone.

I am sorry for all the tough crap you are going through. Relationships are not easy and growing as an individual comes with heartache and facing your fears. but i know it's really tough

Firstly, it's hard to decide what is best for yourself
Secondly, it's hard to implement what is best for yourself.

It sounds as though you had made up your mind about what was best . . . but on the other hand, you are having a hard time implementing what you decided.

Figure out who you are first and love yourself for who you are, not as part of a couple . . . but who you are as an individual. Eventually, we'll all be little old ladies and we'll have to live alone someday anyway right? And you'll have to like the company you keep when alone . . .

If it's only about you being afraid of being alone for a while . . . seriously, get a dog . . . they make a lovely companion to sleep with at night and great jogging partners

Seriously though . . . you sound like a wonderful intelligent young woman . . . you deserve to be happy today and tomorrow and all the years of your life . . . But to be happy, you need to figure out who you are . . . Deep down, only you know what the best decision is for yourself and your life.

take care!!
sweetpea