Brooke

This is not a question I can really ask any of my girl-friends in person.

I broke up six months ago and since then have been having issues with pent up sexual tension. I have open opinions on masturbation, and have been trying for sometime to "fix" this problem myself. the thing is - it isnt pleasurable anymore. if "it" were a PC I woudl say I broke it somehow!

any thoughts? advice?

onodrim

One of the things about masturbation is that you <b>can</b> do it too much, hard to believe but true. If you're doing it too often, then the sensations become just kinda common place and not exciting enough to orgasm from anymore. I would suggest trying to take a break for a few days and then try again.

Another thing you could possibly try would be to get a sex toy, like a vibrator or a dildo, or a new and different one if you already have one. Maybe varying the way you masturbate would help.

__________________
"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

SparklingDot

After I started getting help from my SO, it just doesn't cut it for me anymore. I don't really have any advice, but I can sympathize. Maybe you should try something new...perhaps toy like onodrom said. Good luck.

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17 seconds is all you really need
- Smashing Pumpkins

kollege_gal2000

I also would take a break and try again. Sometimes your body losses the sensation, but it will return, and boy does it return.

I've been there, so I can sympathize

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Brooke

A toy would be difficult till I get my own place...anyone who has had a mother (innocently of course) organize their room to try and be helpful will understand the difficulties here.

The loss of the SO was rough - when someone is helping out there is a vast difference - especially if lost of caring is there. I assumed the break up would have this effect - but several months after?

Kinda suprised me.

aphroditeskiss1

So I have tried masterbating on several attempts and it's never worked. I get really close to orgasm and then...I just loose it. I would rather not get a vibrator or a dildo because even though I am in a dorm, there's always vacations to worry about my parents seeing/hearing it. Anyone got any tips?

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"You always said destiny would blow me away. But nothing's gonna blow me away"- Something Coporate
" I do not pop pills! I take them and I eat them..."
- Foamy's friend

Brooke

Do you have private showers? I found that the community arrangement - althouh showering takes a very few minutes of the day, the loss of those private moments can contribute to stress and pent up tension.

I am also wondering what to do. I am not the curling iron type - I actually use mine for my hair. and vacations as well - my parents would freak.

__________________
And so its over
Your fantasy life is finally at an end
And the world above is still a brutal place
And the story will start again

raeanna74

Would you say that your frustration is with the sensation or emotional?

I personally go through fazes where I WANT the stimulation of masterbation. There are other times when I don't want to even touch it down there. One thing that helps me get in the "mood" to play alone is reading a trashy book or magazine. Something that gets my imagination going. I have gotten going at times and then boom, stress interrupts and I've lost any urge to continue. It's usually when I've got a lot on my mind or too much to do. Are you stressing out about school right now? or stressing about finishing college, un-hooked-up? If you've got things on your mind like that it could be just weighing your mind down with too many other things. I find I don't feel as stressed or distracted if I make lists of the things I need to do. I think cause it puts my concerns into some other place where I don't feel like I need to remember it any longer.

I hope this helps. I was just throwing out anything that came to mind. I hope it's not too jumbled. Good Luck.

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My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Brooke

Yeah, that helps a bit. A list, cause I am always forgetting stuff.

It is a sensation issue, when I think about it - it is like the nerves died. I am doing nothing different. They toy issue will have to wait till I get my own place.
The emotions may be connected as in - When I was with him - fooling around was better than anythign I had done by myself. *the boy was like a walking fire!!!*
Even now the memory of his touch is more potent than any erotic image a book can conjure - but I force myself to not go there - cause it is only memory, and he is still at myschool, and I feel disrespectful thinking about someone who no longer loves me that way - in that special manner. personal thing - not a religious guilt thing.

sooo....I am stumped.

__________________
And so its over
Your fantasy life is finally at an end
And the world above is still a brutal place
And the story will start again

jillian

i would try mixing it up... take a break use some toys... take a long hot bath... try and get turned on... dont think about how u cant get off... think about how nice the water feels how soft ur skin is.. basically seduce yourself... and if that doesnt work i would try taking a break.. even i lose sensation... i still cum but it just isnt as toe curling

Averett

What is with the men posting in the Ladies Lounge? There have been quite a few in the past few days.

Get a clue, fellas!

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

sexymama

Try reading something like "My Secret Garden." Woman share their fantasies and it is very erotic.

Vary your positions. And get a toy -- don't wait. You can always find a place to hide it (under the mattress, in a drawer, etc. You can even hide it in your car if you must.) Or, use a food item for more stimulation.

Another idea, vibrate your ass while masturbating. The additional stimulation migh help.

Good luck -- have FUN! It is all about you (in this case at least) and that is okay! (No guilt, including around fantasizing, aloud!)

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

DJLaurieB

again I have to post this site:

http://mymasturbation.com

Trust me, I"m in my 30's I was kinda getting bored with it all too, since I'm single way more often than I'm not. After reading this site, and seeing all the different ways people do it well.......... it was like a whole new world opened up to me, like "wow, I never even THOUGHT of that!"

Another question I would have is, and sorry if this is too personal - you haven't gone any new medications lately have you? I remember I was on Paxil for a year, and after I started it took a few months to be able to have an orgasm again, and I had to sorta force myself to keep going til it worked.

In any event, I hope I was helpful. Good luck.

aohara2001

careful with the vibrator thing- I was addicted to it and then couldn't cum normally... took sometime to get my normal sensations back