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Try reading something like "My Secret Garden." Woman share their fantasies and it is very erotic.
Vary your positions. And get a toy -- don't wait. You can always find a place to hide it (under the mattress, in a drawer, etc. You can even hide it in your car if you must.) Or, use a food item for more stimulation.
Another idea, vibrate your ass while masturbating. The additional stimulation migh help.
Good luck -- have FUN! It is all about you (in this case at least) and that is okay! (No guilt, including around fantasizing, aloud!)
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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