piggy_annie

So does it work for anyone ? What are your thoughts on it? And if you've done it or dont mind , does anyone qualify? I mean I know its casual sex so anyone you know that is disease free probably qualify, but can you actually go in bed with a guy that have rocks for brains.And are there suppose to be preference for this too ?

amonkie

Well, it is a rule of thumb on this board to foster discussion by sharing your own experiences and opinions. Without those, it is hard to answer a random stream of questions.

What are YOUR thoughts on Casual sex? Why do you want to know? Who do you know that has rocks for brains?


As you can see ... questions with no input are not helpful ...

My opinion: Casual sex is not for everyone, especially those who attach romantic topics as love with sex in all instances. The rest is ultimately up to each individual and their current circumstance.

__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

piggy_annie

Yes that's what I would like to know their thoughts from different circumstances where they stand, to learn more about this. And I dont meant to say those "guys with rocks for brains" as pointing fingers at someone specifically just in general as in would you jump in bed with someone like that? and this is just casual sex, so of course not leading to anything else and I can see why this wont for out for some people, but I'm just asking to those that this apply to.

And on my circumstances, I've tried but I dont think it works for me , for one thing the pleasure is not there if there's no emotions invovle, and so there's no point, but then like I've say I dont know much about it so maybe I'll learn more from what others think.

percy

All depends. It really all depends on the person. I'm with someone now who is great, but if things change, I'm not sitting in my house feeling sorry for myself. If I find someone who I feel I can associate with, and without thinking longterm , great I'll go for it.

Casual sex is just that for me. I like relationships but am not going to get into one just to justify having sex. If I feel like fucking a guy just for sex, then I will. But that means he understands the rules also. Usually mature people can co-exist in this manner.

TivaBella

Well, I think casual sex is fine for 2 people who are both looking for the same thing, but it's not for me.

I've had my share of fuck buddies in the past, and for the most part we remained buddies after the sex stopped. The problem is, I just found it cold and meaningless after a while. Now, for me, there has to be at least some emotional connection there or it just doesn't work. It doesn't have to be love, but there has to be a mutual affection that goes beyond friendship.

However, I had to have lots of casual sex in order to figure all that out

__________________
It's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place.

Buffy - "Gingerbread"

amonkie

I'm posting this on behalf of one of our male members:

__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

little_tippler

Casual sex is not for me. I can't relax and enjoy sex (not only mentally but also physically) if there is no emotion or feeling involved. I suppose I could do it if sex worked for me on those terms, but it doesn't. Also, I think STD's are rife nowadays and it's too great a risk, as condoms don't protect you 100%.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

TivaBella

Isn't that what I said? I don't really understand what you are trying to say.

Maybe I wasn't very clear. What I meant was that I have tried the casual route and it was fine while it lasted but it is not enough for me anymore.

For me, if there is going to be sex, there has to be some sort of connection. Logically, if there was an emotional connection and sex, it would likely mean that I was in a relationship, or I at least felt like a relationship was a possibility with the person.

__________________
It's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place.

Buffy - "Gingerbread"

Plummie

Casual sex works for me, as long as both parties are up front about their expectations. I currently have a "friends with bens" neighbor and we have casual sex at least once or twice a week, but no relationship other than just hanging out and partying. This has been going on for a couple months now and it's still not serious. I won't sleep with random men who I meet at a bar, as a general rule. I do have high standards, even for fuck buddies.

The men still have to be attractive, sharp, no rocks for brains. They also have to be tested for STDs and not be sleeping around. So not everyone qualifies. If/when my partner wants to be with another woman, that's totally fine (no hard feelings at all) but our little spell is over then because I'm not into players.

__________________
Kim

raeanna74

Hubby and I have casual sex with other people on a regular basis. We find these people in places where there are often many others with the same goal in mind. Because of that it's pretty easy to broach the subject that this is just sex for sex's sake and nothing more.

I used to think that sex had to have a romantic idea stuck to it for me to enjoy it. Since then I've realized that there are times when a quickie or sex with somebody else can simply satisfy my instinctive, animal side without having a romantic attachment or 'getting into the mood.' There are times when that romantic sex that hubby and I have just doesn't fill the physical needs that I have.

Casual sex with another person that I do not know intimately adds a huge realm of the unknown to the experience. I find that exploration of the unknown titillating and exciting.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Impetuous1

I haven't had casual sex because in the past I had too many ideas of romantic association with sex. Now though, I think I probably could as long as they knew off the bat that was all it was. However, at this time, I am in a monogamous relationship. The thought of sharing myself with another man while with my boyfriend makes me sick. Sorry. No judgement.

shesus

This is the main reason I never practiced casual sex. That coupled with the fact that if I got pregnant by someone who I wasn't in a relationship with, how would I support the baby or would I even want it? I think that I was too scared of these 2 things to have sexual intercourse. There were a few guys that I met and would have oral sex with casually, but the chances of getting pregnant were nil and although STDs were still a threat I didn't see it as much of a threat as actually having intercourse, which was a flaw in my education growing up. I also do link sex with love so it's difficult to separate those 2 things in my mind. So, casual sex isn't for me.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

mixedmedia

I've never had casual sex, but if casual sex is sex outside of a relationship just for the fun and pleasure of it, then I'm all for it! Maybe casual sex doesn't necessarily have to be devoid of emotion and meaning? I mean, sexual intimacy with another person in and of itself can be very moving and meaningful. For myself, after twenty years of marriage, I am at a point where a "casual" sexual relationship that allows for my own independence sounds very attractive indeed.

Sweetpea

Never had casual sex. Don't plan on it.
I have to trust someone to have sex with them and I can't imagine trusting someone if it was just on a casual level.

Bottom Line, different things work for different people. I may have an open marriage, but I've choosen the polyamory route instead of the swinging route, because I do need those emotions and trust there to make sex something I'm interested in.

sweetpea

__________________
Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

ClostGoth

I've never had casual sex and never will. Once you've gone full heart and soul into it there just doesn't seem much point in anything less.

And, if I'm allowed to post hubby's views on the LL?, his comments on a lap dance:

"It was nauseating. She was just SO fake, and no, I don't mean just her boobs. I felt dirty and had to come home and shower." He's made similar comments about casual sex with acquaintences or even a few crushes he's had... He felt like a monster because he said some pretty cruel things to the women who came onto him at the strip club. He hasn't been back and I certainly don't mind putting on "shows" for him in appreciation. He _knows_ I mean it.

Let me clarify that hubby hasn't had casual sex either - he was concerned that it looked like that's what I meant. I just meant when he had considered it, that was the conclusion made. Love my man.

__________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
--Douglas Adams

StormBerlin

I went through a casual sex phase. It was something I felt I needed to do. I just got out of my first serious relationship and had no idea what to do next. And I love sex. I don't have any regrets, althought my current boyfriend likes to tease me about my "magic number" (14, in case anyone is wondering. I'm almost 21 years old). I got tested for everything about ever three months and i'm on birth control so I feel like I did it as responsibly as I could.

__________________
"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

savvypup

I don't think I could ever pick up anyone and fuck them on the first night. That's not to say I haven't done the deed on the first date - I have, but I did know them for a while prior.

I'm a bit of a romantic in one sense. I can cope with having a bed buddy, but I like to get up and have coffee and chat in the morning. I feel used if they just leave ..... but let me just add, it's not a preference. I was just going through a really bad dry spell and I was churning through the batteries, I missed a tongue etc etc.

__________________

ciao bella!

Fia

..........

Tibbar75

casual partners in the form of one night stands and friends with benifits. Why did I do it, every reason under the sun. To feel sex, because I felt sex, the guy was very good looking, he was smart, to get back at a recent ex... I have only ever had one drunkin experiance which lead to it, however I liked the guy and knew he liked me so the drinking was for courage.

I have found that sex within a relationship is more enjoiable over all because here is a level of comfort and trust.

If you are going to "take the mens road" as my friend calls it, be safe and careful. I have always know my partners before hand and have always hooked up at my place.

__________________
~Tibby

sunkssd

I have only tried to have friends with benefits once, but we ended up dating. For me, it is hard to keep my emotions separate. Thankfully it was hard for him too.

red0blivia

i agree, to an extent.
but i also think 'casual sex' is an extrememly broad term. one-night stands, fuck buddies, 'open' relationships... there are so many different ways to have sex casually.

i am completely opposed to what most consider a 'traditional' relationship.
typically, i always had one main lover (who was also my very best friend), bt we had an openrelationship.
this, to me, means that you are free to persue your carnal cravings with another if/when the mood strikes. but we were exclusively committed to eachother in another way... emotionally.

i had a horrible experience, once, with a one night stand.
we met in a sex club &, based on similar sexual interests, agreed to have a no-strings-attached animalistic fuck-fest. i went back to his place with him alone (yeah, not the smartest move - but i've always been big on taking risks... & i let him know that i had let my sister know where would be).
he was well over 6 ft. (said he as 6'10"but i think he was more like 6'8" - could be wrong), and i am only 5'5". he was a horrible kisser... grabbing me and pushing his large open mouth on mine, his teeth digging in around my lips, as he forced his tounge down my trhroat. pushing away only turned him on more and made him more forceful.
the fucking was ok... but then he starting telling about how he, once, raped this 18 yr. old kid in the ass and how he really wanted to rape my ass.
(into anal stimulation and really ready to try anal sex... but NOT with this guy and NOT by force - so i was, of course, horrified by this)
i jerked away &, speedily, did a backwards crawl all the way till i ran into the headboard,...heh... can't imagine the look on my face/ in my eyes at that point.
anyway, he coaxed me back down...but it wasn't long before i made an excuse and got the hell out of there.

point of me rambling on seemingly endlessly?
it tainted my view of one-night stands. now i have that fear in the back of my head, which really sucks, because this type of sex would be ideal for me right now.

you see, i do not want a relationship. and the last 'open' relationship/fuck buddy type thing i had ended very badly (friendship is the greatest loss of all), so now i fear that as well
besides, in the past i have entered a fuck buddy contract (where both parties are aware of and agree to the rules: no getting too emotionally attached, absolutely NO jealousy (grrr), and no evolution to a 'traditional' relationship with exclusivity rules and such). they agree in the beginning,... and then, not long into it, they want me to commit. all aggreements are thrown out the window and they want me to be all theirs, despite my repeated explanations of how i am a human being and, therefore, can belong to no one but myself...*sigh*

now, i just stick to fucking machines and household appliances.
how's that for casual sex?