Now I'm sterile... - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Darkeryet · 11-17-2003, 10:51 AM

Rofl very funny. Scary....yet funny none the less!

Thanks !

Sledge · 11-17-2003, 11:33 AM

Dude... you're awesome.

powder · 11-17-2003, 11:52 AM

Ouch. better you than me.

mb99usa · 11-17-2003, 12:37 PM

Thank you very much dude. I had to stifle LOL here at work through the whole thing. I'm looking to have the procedure performed in teh near future and this is the best prep I could ever ask for. Thanks for the candor.

nukeu666 · 11-17-2003, 12:50 PM

took me a halfhour to read thru it
im so tired from laughing i gotta goto bed

Fearless_Hyena · 11-17-2003, 01:07 PM

YIKES!!! yeah i'm cringing but Clavus your posts always crack me up !!! that was some funny shit, and uhh i hope yer boys have recovered from the trauma by now

jujueye · 11-17-2003, 01:47 PM

Geez clavus, you're the next Dave Barry. Hold crap that was funny. Well written. And, in fact, so well written, that I swear to never haved it done. Thanks for the info.

Pragma · 11-17-2003, 01:47 PM

I'm much too young to think about it now, but it's something I've considered in my future, once I find a wife and settle down.

After reading your experience, my only hope is that they'll make some kind of pill that you take and it magically gives you a vasectomy. No way am I having that done to me, though I was laughing and sympathy-cringing the whole way through. Excellent post, Clavus.

nukeu666 · 11-17-2003, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pragma

After reading your experience, my only hope is that they'll make some kind of pill that you take and it magically gives you a vasectomy. No way am I having that done to me, though I was laughing and sympathy-cringing the whole way through. Excellent post, Clavus.

the pill will cut off oxygen to your balls thus making you sterile

uber1 · 11-17-2003, 02:35 PM

lmao. thanks for sharing that story. im gonna take 3 vailum.

numberfive · 11-17-2003, 03:40 PM

Nicely wrote, had me laughing out loud. I hope by the time it's my turn they'll have a pill or something.

spectre · 11-17-2003, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Best Thread Ever!

Hilarous!

Agreed. This is one of the funniest threads ever. Clavus, you should really write professionally. I've read a few of your threads like this one where the way you describe it makes it 100 times funnier.

JadziaDax · 11-17-2003, 04:44 PM

I'm sorry clavus...

but I can't stop laughing

denim · 11-17-2003, 05:13 PM

I'm wincing too much to laugh. Still, a fun read!

clavus · 11-17-2003, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JadziaDax
I'm sorry clavus...

but I can't stop laughing

No need to be sorry. If I were to believe that everything has a purpose, then I would say that the purpose of my painful, embarassing experiences is to make others laugh.

jbrooks544 · 11-17-2003, 05:38 PM

Where is your doctor, Afghanistan or some other 4th world country? In the civilized world they use something called Anesthesia. In MA they used sodium pentathol on me. You aren't "out cold, unconscious" but you feel nothing and have no memory of it. They use it because it isn't dangerous like "general" and you will respond and cooperate, like "get up and get on the geurny" No memory, but that's what they say. Also, quick recover.

In the civilized world there need be no pain or trauma or memory of the whole wonderful thing. This poster's experience may have been negative, but I would wager it is the extreme rare circumstance and that all you need to do is check with your doc/hospital and get recommendations from others and you won't stumble across such butchery.

tangledweb · 11-17-2003, 06:25 PM

That was seriously funny, dude. You have comedy skills to spare. I was crying while reading this out loud to my wife who didn't find it nearly as funny. I guess it is only seriously funny for "sack-friendly" readers.

merkerguitars · 11-17-2003, 07:01 PM

That had to be the funniest yet most descriptive (in a good way) about it. It cleared up alot of questions that I had yet was entertaining that I had to read the entire thing.

NeverBorn · 11-17-2003, 07:08 PM

Phantom sympathy pains..X_X

emmdubbs · 11-17-2003, 07:16 PM

wait a minute...once a month...12 times a year...sounds like..dare i say it..you got shafted?

nothingx · 11-17-2003, 07:25 PM

oh my god. dude, that was absolutely hilarious and horrifying. thank you so much for writing that, it was truely the highlight of my evening.

redravin40 · 11-17-2003, 07:45 PM

As usual, you rock Clavus.
I have to say that I always look forward to your posts and wish you would go through more painful, embarrassing (bare ass ing?)
experiences for us to read.
It makes my day every time.
Thanks for the great read and putting your balls on the line (so to speak).

TheBrit · 11-18-2003, 12:18 AM

Talking about new technology soon, they are actually going to start doing this with ultrasound. You know how they break up kidney stones? Well they can do the same to you vas deferens bits. Worth talking to your doctor about, see if he knows that it is going on, and where it is going on.

Bill O'Rights · 11-18-2003, 05:26 AM

Very good work, clavus. Your post was...well...very Dave Barryesque. This is a procedure that I've had in the back of my head for some time now; I think that I'll just keep it there. All I can say is that you've got more balls than I have. Well...you know what I mean.

Fly · 11-18-2003, 05:42 AM

nice......................great explanation.

I too am snipped......but can't say it any better than you.

*bows down to Clavus*

troit · 11-18-2003, 07:50 AM

clavus -- My man you've got to take that act on the road. I mean, here I sit reading about some guy getting his nuts clipped and I'm laughing hysterically at the office with people walking by with incredulous looks on their faces asking me what's so funny. And the funny part comes when I tell them what I'm REALLY reading.... Great stuff my friend. Keep up the good work....

micah67 · 11-18-2003, 11:41 AM

Fantastic read. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!

water_boy1999 · 11-18-2003, 02:18 PM

No, more...no more.....I can't stop laughing. That was really a funny story. Definitely got a rise out of me!

soopadoopa · 11-18-2003, 05:18 PM

Absolutely hysterical. I've had two hernia surgeries and might have experienced a fraction of the pain you talked about. You've convinced me to never go that route. Thanks for the heads up.

analog · 11-19-2003, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clavus
......When the nurse returned, she looked at me and smirked. She hefted my unit up onto my belly and covered the top..oh, 18 inches or so with the blanket “to keep everything out of the way.”

.....I’m sure if you ladies had scrotums, you’d pound them with bricks and wouldn’t even flinch. I don’t want to hear about it.

...I was so busy laying down my drug-induced comedy routine that I barely noticed when the doctor picked up what must have been H.R. Giger’s crochet hook and stuck it into my sack-hole.

Sweet GOD that was fuckin funny. I highlighted the areas that made me just DIE. Very clever, very sharp, just great all-around.

And when (<b>not</b> if) I get it done, I will invest in some very fine smokage and get high as fuckin humanly possible just before going in.

Great post!!

Daval · 01-23-2004, 10:55 AM

That is probably the funniest thing I've read in years. My balls ache though now after reading it.

CrispnChuey · 01-23-2004, 10:58 AM

They needed to give you a month's suppy of Valium, not 2! And some medical MJ!

Great write-up.

Cycler · 01-23-2004, 11:29 AM

Couldn't finsh it the first time will check back later. I just, umm, ohhh, man.

tinfoil · 01-23-2004, 12:04 PM

Jeez, I don't think I have ever laughed so hard while, at the same time, cradling my nads like a mother protecting her chill'un.

etla · 01-23-2004, 01:50 PM

That was hilarerous. So I got to ask did you write this before or after you came down from the Valium?

sapiens · 01-23-2004, 02:27 PM

I hate to echo things that everyone else has already said, but your story was great! Thank you for sharing! I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Thank you.

Hrothgar · 01-23-2004, 02:39 PM

I'm kind of scared to tinker around with my plumbing.

kel · 01-23-2004, 02:50 PM

Very informative.
Thanks for sharing.

thejoker130 · 01-23-2004, 04:58 PM

I hate needles and i think one anywhere near my balls would elicit a hail of four letter words along with some ancient curses and a few curse words invented on the spot. After that i'ld stab the doc through the heart with his own ballpoint pen.

And that would be after the valium....

mingusfingers · 01-23-2004, 10:50 PM

Oh, man. I can NOT laugh at guys getting any pain down there. I just don't find it funny.

11-17-2003, 10:51 AM	#41 (permalink)
Darkeryet Upright	Rofl very funny. Scary....yet funny none the less! Thanks ! __________________ Darkeryet

11-17-2003, 12:37 PM	#44 (permalink)
mb99usa Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while. Location: wherever I am	Thank you very much dude. I had to stifle LOL here at work through the whole thing. I'm looking to have the procedure performed in teh near future and this is the best prep I could ever ask for. Thanks for the candor. __________________ So, what's your point? It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

11-17-2003, 12:50 PM	#45 (permalink)
nukeu666 Junkie Location: India	took me a halfhour to read thru it im so tired from laughing i gotta goto bed __________________ Why did the Comp. Engineer get X-mas and Halloween mixed up? Because Oct(31) == Dec(25)

11-17-2003, 01:47 PM	#48 (permalink)
Pragma I am Winter Born Location: Alexandria, VA	I'm much too young to think about it now, but it's something I've considered in my future, once I find a wife and settle down. After reading your experience, my only hope is that they'll make some kind of pill that you take and it magically gives you a vasectomy. No way am I having that done to me, though I was laughing and sympathy-cringing the whole way through. Excellent post, Clavus. __________________ Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

11-17-2003, 02:35 PM	#50 (permalink)
uber1 Crazy	lmao. thanks for sharing that story. im gonna take 3 vailum. __________________ tubulartuddles

11-17-2003, 11:33 AM	#42 (permalink)
Sledge Pasture Bedtime	Dude... you're awesome.

11-17-2003, 11:52 AM	#43 (permalink)
powder Loser Location: ski town	Ouch. better you than me.

11-17-2003, 01:07 PM	#46 (permalink)
Fearless_Hyena Hello, good evening, and bollocks. Location: near DC	YIKES!!! yeah i'm cringing but Clavus your posts always crack me up !!! that was some funny shit, and uhh i hope yer boys have recovered from the trauma by now

11-17-2003, 01:47 PM	#47 (permalink)
jujueye alpaca lunch for the trip Location: in my computer	Geez clavus, you're the next Dave Barry. Hold crap that was funny. Well written. And, in fact, so well written, that I swear to never haved it done. Thanks for the info.

11-17-2003, 03:40 PM	#51 (permalink)
numberfive You + Me = Us Location: California dreaming...	Nicely wrote, had me laughing out loud. I hope by the time it's my turn they'll have a pill or something. __________________ P.S. Always remember: to forget is a form of suicide. (If I could only remember to forget myself.)

11-17-2003, 04:44 PM	#53 (permalink)
JadziaDax Loser Location: who the fuck cares?	I'm sorry clavus... but I can't stop laughing

11-17-2003, 05:13 PM	#54 (permalink)
denim Banned Location: Massachusetts, USA	I'm wincing too much to laugh. Still, a fun read!

11-17-2003, 05:38 PM	#56 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	Where is your doctor, Afghanistan or some other 4th world country? In the civilized world they use something called Anesthesia. In MA they used sodium pentathol on me. You aren't "out cold, unconscious" but you feel nothing and have no memory of it. They use it because it isn't dangerous like "general" and you will respond and cooperate, like "get up and get on the geurny" No memory, but that's what they say. Also, quick recover. In the civilized world there need be no pain or trauma or memory of the whole wonderful thing. This poster's experience may have been negative, but I would wager it is the extreme rare circumstance and that all you need to do is check with your doc/hospital and get recommendations from others and you won't stumble across such butchery.

11-17-2003, 06:25 PM	#57 (permalink)
tangledweb slightly impaired Location: Down South	That was seriously funny, dude. You have comedy skills to spare. I was crying while reading this out loud to my wife who didn't find it nearly as funny. I guess it is only seriously funny for "sack-friendly" readers.

11-17-2003, 07:01 PM	#58 (permalink)
merkerguitars Buffering......... Location: Wisconsin...	That had to be the funniest yet most descriptive (in a good way) about it. It cleared up alot of questions that I had yet was entertaining that I had to read the entire thing. __________________ Donate now! Ask me How! Please use the search function it is your friend. Look at my mustang please feel free to comment! http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=26985

11-17-2003, 07:08 PM	#59 (permalink)
NeverBorn I'm a pepper bitch..	Phantom sympathy pains..X_X

11-17-2003, 07:16 PM	#60 (permalink)
emmdubbs Psycho Location: the western part of new york	wait a minute...once a month...12 times a year...sounds like..dare i say it..you got shafted? __________________ "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden

11-17-2003, 07:25 PM	#61 (permalink)
nothingx undead Location: nihilistic freedom	oh my god. dude, that was absolutely hilarious and horrifying. thank you so much for writing that, it was truely the highlight of my evening.

11-17-2003, 07:45 PM	#62 (permalink)
redravin40 Loser Location: With Jadzia	As usual, you rock Clavus. I have to say that I always look forward to your posts and wish you would go through more painful, embarrassing (bare ass ing?) experiences for us to read. It makes my day every time. Thanks for the great read and putting your balls on the line (so to speak). Last edited by redravin40; 11-17-2003 at 08:39 PM..

11-18-2003, 12:18 AM	#63 (permalink)
TheBrit Psycho	Talking about new technology soon, they are actually going to start doing this with ultrasound. You know how they break up kidney stones? Well they can do the same to you vas deferens bits. Worth talking to your doctor about, see if he knows that it is going on, and where it is going on.

11-18-2003, 05:26 AM	#64 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	Very good work, clavus. Your post was...well...very Dave Barryesque. This is a procedure that I've had in the back of my head for some time now; I think that I'll just keep it there. All I can say is that you've got more balls than I have. Well...you know what I mean. __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

11-18-2003, 05:42 AM	#65 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	nice......................great explanation. I too am snipped......but can't say it any better than you. bows down to Clavus __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

11-18-2003, 07:50 AM	#66 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	clavus -- My man you've got to take that act on the road. I mean, here I sit reading about some guy getting his nuts clipped and I'm laughing hysterically at the office with people walking by with incredulous looks on their faces asking me what's so funny. And the funny part comes when I tell them what I'm REALLY reading.... Great stuff my friend. Keep up the good work.... __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

11-18-2003, 11:41 AM	#67 (permalink)
micah67 Thor Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W	Fantastic read. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! __________________ ~micah

11-18-2003, 02:18 PM	#68 (permalink)
water_boy1999 Fly em straight! Location: Above and Beyond	No, more...no more.....I can't stop laughing. That was really a funny story. Definitely got a rise out of me! __________________ Doh!!!! -Homer Simpson

11-18-2003, 05:18 PM	#69 (permalink)
soopadoopa Crazy	Absolutely hysterical. I've had two hernia surgeries and might have experienced a fraction of the pain you talked about. You've convinced me to never go that route. Thanks for the heads up.

01-23-2004, 10:55 AM	#71 (permalink)
Daval Junkie Location: The True North Strong and Free!	That is probably the funniest thing I've read in years. My balls ache though now after reading it. __________________ "It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it." Winston Churchill

01-23-2004, 10:58 AM	#72 (permalink)
CrispnChuey Upright	They needed to give you a month's suppy of Valium, not 2! And some medical MJ! Great write-up.

01-23-2004, 11:29 AM	#73 (permalink)
Cycler Float on.... Alright Location: Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, i.e. Oklahoma	Couldn't finsh it the first time will check back later. I just, umm, ohhh, man. __________________ "I'm not even supposed to be here today." "I assure you we're open."

01-23-2004, 12:04 PM	#74 (permalink)
tinfoil Fucking Hostile Location: Springford, ON, Canada	Jeez, I don't think I have ever laughed so hard while, at the same time, cradling my nads like a mother protecting her chill'un. __________________ Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.

01-23-2004, 01:50 PM	#75 (permalink)
etla Junkie Location: Canada eh?	That was hilarerous. So I got to ask did you write this before or after you came down from the Valium? __________________ Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

01-23-2004, 02:27 PM	#76 (permalink)
sapiens Junkie Location: Some place windy	I hate to echo things that everyone else has already said, but your story was great! Thank you for sharing! I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Thank you.

01-23-2004, 02:39 PM	#77 (permalink)
Hrothgar He's My Girl Location: The Champagne Douche	I'm kind of scared to tinker around with my plumbing. __________________ The fortunes of war favored Hrothgar.

01-23-2004, 02:50 PM	#78 (permalink)
kel WARNING: FLAMMABLE Location: Ask Acetylene	Very informative. Thanks for sharing. __________________ "It better be funny"

01-23-2004, 04:58 PM	#79 (permalink)
thejoker130 Insane Location: slippery rock university AKA: The left ass cheek of the world	I hate needles and i think one anywhere near my balls would elicit a hail of four letter words along with some ancient curses and a few curse words invented on the spot. After that i'ld stab the doc through the heart with his own ballpoint pen. And that would be after the valium.... __________________ WHAT MORE CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN? ------------------------------------- I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless.