Carno

Hahahahahahahahahaha.........

Your idea is so stupid I actually think that it would be a good idea for you to go through with it.

Talk to someone who's actually been in for an extended amount of time before you do something you'd regret.

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Slyboots

I'd have to agree with charleton. Go into the military. I find it way more better than losing your freedom just for some food, education and lodging. I mean a few month in the slammer would be ok but for a long period of time you will be wanting to freedom. Those types of urges are strong and will drive you crazy.

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Gabbyness

So - in summary: free education, free shelter, free food,

Thanks, I'm glad to see my tax dollars are the foremost concern on your mind.

Jinn

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showpos...9&postcount=37

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BigBen

Wow.

Might I suggest that people look for and read "A Modest Proposal for preventing the children of poor people in Ireland from being a burden to their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the public" By Jonathan Swift, 1729.

During the Potato Famine, Swift wrote this essay to bring attention to the suffering of his fellow countrymen to that of the English land barrons who were either ignoring or ignorant to the situation.
Swift's "Proposal" quickly angered the public when published, and people called him to explain how he could be so cruel as to think of babies as one would a piece of meat. He replied that the English public was doing just that by not helping the Irish poor in their time of need.

JinnKai uses the same sense of irony; He (or she, sorry about gender issues) states the preposterous and waits for people to object. The rational objection is then compared to the (equally preposterous) current state of truth, and the objectors are left feeling quite foolish about their original opinion.

"But what about all of the horrible things that can happen to you in prison": JinnKai is trying to make you think about the horrible things that happen OUT OF PRISON, every day across the land.
"But what about being raped in the shower by a guy (or 3) named Bubbles": Very bad things, including rape and murder, happen every day across the land.

There is a political statement here. Think about your life, and think about how things would IMPROVE if you went to jail. Ignore all of the bad things in jail for a moment. Now, look at that list. That is the crux of the argument. (I always wanted to use that word, crux. It looks and sounds so cool. Crux.)

Please read the full Swift text HERE

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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

Cynthetiq

and for some there are lots that make that choice BigBen...

homeless people make that choice all the time, as do repeat offenders who don't know how to live outside the system.

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cyrnel

Any credit if we were just standing here looking at JK in amazement?

The first post sounded like a troll, but with follow-ups I couldn't be certain. Really JK, I was becoming concerned.

Phew! Glad that's over.

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There are a vast number of people who are uninformed and heavily propagandized, but fundamentally decent. The propaganda that inundates them is effective when unchallenged, but much of it goes only skin deep. If they can be brought to raise questions and apply their decent instincts and basic intelligence, many people quickly escape the confines of the doctrinal system and are willing to do something to help others who are really suffering and oppressed." -Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media, p. 195

Giant Hamburger

JinnKai eats babies!

Suave

Jinn, this post wasn't nearly outlandish enough to be solidly in jest. A fair number of people (as someone else said) go to jail purposefully simply because they are homeless and want a place to sleep, eat, et cetera. You have to get a little more extreme if you want most people to get the joke. :P

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"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

Carno

This was a joke? It was a heck of a lot more funny when I thought it was serious.

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BigBen

IT'S NOT A JOKE!

It is a political statement using irony. Irony is not always funny.

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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

JustJess

Sorry, Ben. Not everyone gets irony in written form - sometimes they need verbal cues.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

Suave

Satire then. Either way, it helps to be a little less subtle if you want people to get it.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

Scorps

If your talking about your job I think its time to get a new one...

Astrocloud

I've always thought about getting arrested on some trumped up charges for similar reasons -including the resulting lawsuit.

Step 1) Get diagnosed with Tourettes syndrome.

a) Tell a doctor that you cant fucking stop swearing dammit.
b) Get the diagnoses on the books.


Step 2) Find a public location where a friend can covertly film you confronting the police.

Step 3) Find a goose-stepping little Adolf clone and tell him what you really think of him. Let him have it verbally.

a) Done right -you should bleed from this experience. Officer Friendly will simply beat you senseless and when you come to -plenty-O-riches ala Rodney King.


In court -you are just a harmless man with a mental problem. The jury will sympathize and look forward to the hefty settlement.

Rodney

If this is all about irony or satire, it flew right by me. Frankly, I know some people who are foolish enough to think this way.

If you think your life is jail because you sit in a cubie all day and don't get to do all the things you want to do -- I will simply hold that the fault is yours, and _you don't want to do them badly enough._

Pay the price, and you can do anything you want. Of course, it's cheaper to stay in a comfortable rut and whine :-).

vermin

Unless you're gay, then you might enjoy the vast quantities of sodomy.

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

j8ear

irony lost on me.

-bear

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It's alot easier to ask for forgiveness then it is to ask for permission.

Menoman

Not always

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la petite moi

I have a question: Has anyone ever heard of or known anyone that said, "Jeez whiz, it was fun in jail!" ?

Most likely, no. We here about people trying to get out, appealing their sentence, etc.

Psycho Dad

Actually I know a guy who claimed that he didn't think it was all that bad. He was talking about county jail though and not the pen. And he has since that time in both. However I don't know if he has as favorable opinions of the latter as he did the former.

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Redlemon

Just for the record, I was at about an 80% chance of satire. One of the hints was the tilde (~) in the thread title in the middle of the exclamation points.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

BigBen

You got satire from that?

BTW, I always thought that the Tilde (~) was a mathematical symbol meaning "Approximately". Does it mean something else in literary terms?

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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

Redlemon

No, but it is right next to the "!" on the keyboard, and a lazy or overly enthusiastic typist might hit it instead. Therefore, it is also used as a shorthand for saying "I'm pretending to be an idiot as I post this". Also, you might see the number "1" among the "!"s, or even the typed-out words "one" or "eleven", as follows:
0mg PL m3 plz!!!111eleventyone!!

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

little_tippler

this is just silly. crap food, rules you have to follow or get beat up, violence, agressive inmates, filth...I wouldn't swap my life for that ever. No matter how bad it is I can always go for a walk somewhere beautiful and feel better - no chance of anything like that in jail.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

rsl12

Satire is usually an attempt to skewer a particular person or a political stance held by a large number of people. Whom exactly is this skewering?

I can't see this as satire in any way, shape, or form. Rather, it's just a fun hypothetical fantasy.

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gh0ti

I got done with an 18 month sentence at a County Jail in May. I got setup in a drug deal and did my time. The sentence was carried out at a County jail as a second chance type deal, I finished the program and do not have a conviction on my record. I was on work release 5 days a week so I did my TFP’ing at the office..

We didn’t have cells; they housed us in a metal warehouse type building that could only be compared with an airplane hangar. The building had 40 bunch beds lined up side by side and a trailer that we called the shit house right next door to it. Picture one side of the shit house as 8 toilets about a foot and a half from each other side by side (with nothing between them). The other side had the zero privacy showers.

The building we lived in had no air conditioning. It got up to 120 degrees on a regular basis. I am in Florida, so add the 95% humidity into the mix and your basically living in a Sauna.

The first 60 days of my sentence I didn’t have the luxury of being able to work. As a “trustee” (jail birds with jobs), you get nice jobs during the day like walking the sides of the road for 8-10 hours picking up trash, or sorting recycling goods at the landfill. You get nice black and white striped uniforms to ware, which is humiliating in itself. If you work as a trustee they get 5 days a month off your sentence, otherwise you get to sit around in jail all day, everyday which is maddening in and of it self.

The food is HORRIBLE. Moldy bread and greenish bologna for lunch, powdered eggs and grits for breakfast, and what ever they wish to throw together for dinner.

It’s a life changing experience, but like other people said, your probably better off joining the military.

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It seldom turns out the way it does in the song
Once in a while you get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right

Jinn

To clarify, this wasn't originally intended as a satire. I wrote it out, as BigBen clearly identified, because I As I was sitting there, I realized that in many cases prison does provide me a better life than I have (or many people have). Many cited broad generalized statements to debunk my theory, be speaking from personal experience I know how 'good' prison can be. I've visited the local Justice Center and I've REALLY visited a nearby jail (handcuffs and all, but only for a few hours). At our local justice center, the inmates are in a large room called the "fishtank" with approximately 150 other inmates. They're sitting around, eating, talking, playing chess, lifting weights, writing, etc. There are a few guards posted at the entrance, but its a rather low-security area. They're out in the fishtank for 12 hours a day, and return to their individual (sometimes dual-occupancy) cells for the other 12 hours. They have no constraints on their movement beyond that, and their time is spent however they want. A request can be made for an escort to the library, where you are locked in, as well. They have a time limit on the library, but I'm not sure how much. It's definitely not a harsh existance, and something like a free stay at a shady looking Motel. There are plenty of maximum and minimum security prisons around the United States with dozens of TVs for inmates to watch. I could realistically find all of these benefits without having to work one day of my life.

It developed into satire when I realized that there is a LARGE demographic of the population that believes similarly. Jail and prison has become so "comfortable," for fear of lawsuits about inhumane treatment -- that very few people fear jail. "Gangsters" always sing and talk about going to jail, as if it is a badge of honor. They know that if they get caught, they might spend a few months in jail hanging out with their friends from the street. They'll get decent lodging, won't have to worry about paying their rent, or for anything at all, really.

Last year, we had 713,990 people in jail, and 1,421,911 in prison. (source) Prison has never been meant for rehabilitation, only for removal from society and PUNISHMENT. We either need to focus more on rehabilitating habitual offenders, or return prison to state where it is NOT a thing to look forward to.

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sprocket

Join the military. Never been to jail myself, but most of the people i find myself surrounded with today and consider my friends have served time. Jail is not a place you would go willingly.. County jails and state jails are often times worse than your federal "pound me in the ass" prison. Unless your a rich white guy who can get into a nice white collar jail your fucked (possibly literaly).

Then once you get out you have to deal with things like probation. Also will make getting hired anywhere a much more difficult task. Depending on where you live, you may end up sacrificing your right to vote, or ever own a firearm.

To be brutaly honest it just kind of sounds like your a lazy person.

On the plus side, you'll either learn to handle yourself in a fight very well, or learn to take an ass beating like a man.

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Remember, wherever you go... there you are.

lemurlad

Embezzle a very large sum of money and hide it well. A local lady stole ~600,000 from a group of MDs and got 7 yrs but was out in 2. Not a bad tax free salary. And as you point out, her cost of living for 2 yrs was nil.

texxasco

When I first read the first post I thought.... what a completely stupid post. I read it again, then read through the replies, and then read your followup post. You've got my vote on this one.

I have spent the last 8 years as a Correctional Officer. I have worked on maximum, medium, and minimum security units, as well as units that have drug treatment and other behavior modification programs in operation, as well as State Jails (these are for prison sentences of 2 years or less in TX). Currently Texas has 106 prison units overall, with a very small percentage being run by private contractors. There are 101 ways an officer can get into trouble each day, and a large majority have to do with violating one of the prisoners rights. I haven't done a lot of research on the subject, or inquired as to how other states do things, but I can speak from personal experience on what goes on in Texas prisons. Rehabilitation in prison? It doesn't exist. Those that are somehow rehabilitated are only that way because they made a personal decision to change. Where that decision comes from varies. Some change because of remorse, some because their heads have cleared from the drugs, and some (mainly younger offenders) change because for the first time in their lives they have been held accountable for their actions. I also believe that occasionally, I can influence a youthful offender, whether it be from giving him/her sound advice (not sugar coated, but sound), or by my example. Call it stupid, but in 8 years I have been approached many times out in the "world" by ex-offenders, and have been thanked by them for being a hard ass, and a couple times thanked by parents after visiting with their son.

Sadly though, these are very isolated incidents, and overall prison is too soft a place these days. Inmates have been granted too many rights, and it has left us (staff) with our hands tied in most situations. Over the past 8 years I have watched the average age for convicted criminals drop, gang numbers increase, and not been suprised as I have watched it become common knowledge amoungst thugs that we (correctional staff) are very limited in what we can do with/to them when they screw up. The average inmate these days is younger, meaner, and in his or her mind has less to lose, and it shows in their attitudes and actions on a daily basis. I have gotten into countless confrontations, a lot ending up in my having to use force, simply because the offender doesn't think he has to do what I say. I have been lucky in that I have never been brought up on charges, mainly because I am a stickler for following rules and policy. But who is really winning...me or the convict? In the long run, nobody. I lose because eventually I will have to go toe to toe with the same inmate, or another over a similar situation. The inmate loses, because eventually they will do as told, and in Texas we can and do use force if necessary to gain compliance. And last but not least, the public loses because everyday we release hundreds (if not thousands nationwide) that haven't learned their lesson, and they are ready to go out and re-offend again. The general public thinks they are doing a good job by being "tough on crime", but once the trial is over and the convicted person sentenced, the average person's "get tough on crime" thought process stops. So what are we doing? We lock 'em up....the convicts set on their asses, and eventually they get out... and not a damn thing was accomplished. In Texas the recividism rate hovers around 50%, and many states have the same problem. We get to feed, clothe, and house these people while they learn how to become better (in their minds anyway) criminals.

JinnKai, you hit the nail on the head. Either we need to start rehabilitating criminals, and that takes money (hear that voters??), or prison needs to be returned to being a hellish place that people do NOT want to return to.

Thanks for the post JinnKai. I wish more people would think about this sort of thing. Some may have found humor in the original post, I sure did. But, you'd be suprised at how many criminals actually think like that. In the end, it's really not funny. Sad, and a waste would be a closer to the truth.

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