To clarify, this wasn't originally intended as a satire. I wrote it out, as BigBen clearly identified, because I
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..[was].. trying to draw attention to the fact that his life has been harder than the sentences of some minor criminals, and how through his experiences society has failed him. He feels unrewarded for obeying the rules of justice, and is making a tounge-in-cheek comment of the positive things that incarceration provides.
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As I was sitting there, I realized that in many cases prison does provide me a better life than I have (or many people have). Many cited broad generalized statements to debunk my theory, be speaking from personal experience I know how 'good' prison can be. I've visited the local Justice Center and I've REALLY visited a nearby jail (handcuffs and all, but only for a few hours). At our local justice center, the inmates are in a large room called the "fishtank" with approximately 150 other inmates. They're sitting around, eating, talking, playing chess, lifting weights, writing, etc. There are a few guards posted at the entrance, but its a rather low-security area. They're out in the fishtank for 12 hours a day, and return to their individual (sometimes dual-occupancy) cells for the other 12 hours. They have no constraints on their movement beyond that, and their time is spent however they want. A request can be made for an escort to the library, where you are locked in, as well. They have a time limit on the library, but I'm not sure how much. It's definitely not a harsh existance, and something like a free stay at a shady looking Motel. There are plenty of maximum and minimum security prisons around the United States with dozens of TVs for inmates to watch. I could realistically find all of these benefits without having to work one day of my life.
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Originally Posted by BigBen
There is a political statement here. Think about your life, and think about how things would IMPROVE if you went to jail. Ignore all of the bad things in jail for a moment. Now, look at that list. That is the crux of the argument.
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It developed into satire when I realized that there is a LARGE demographic of the population that believes similarly. Jail and prison has become so "comfortable," for fear of lawsuits about inhumane treatment -- that very few people fear jail. "Gangsters" always sing and talk about going to jail, as if it is a badge of honor. They know that if they get caught, they might spend a few months in jail hanging out with their friends from the street. They'll get decent lodging, won't have to worry about paying their rent, or for anything at all, really.
Last year, we had 713,990 people in jail, and 1,421,911 in prison.
(source) Prison has never been meant for rehabilitation, only for removal from society and PUNISHMENT. We either need to focus more on rehabilitating habitual offenders, or return prison to state where it is NOT a thing to
look forward to.