Help my scared cat! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

canuckguy · 07-15-2005, 05:35 PM

Well I have a 6 year old spaded female house cat, never goes outdoors, still has its claws and has turned into a complete pussy. She was about 4 months old when we got her, and she was abused before i believe, as a kitten she was very skiddish, slept (in) my sofa for the first month we had her, only came out at night. if you picked her up she felt like she would shake apart. Anyway, she came around and has become a very cuddly and friendly cat to my wife and I. strangers got the cold shoulder, rarely would she ever come out, but the odd time she would come out and rub against people other than my wife and I. Ever since my little girl now 15 months old started to walk the cat will not come out ever during the day. only comes out to feed at night, use the can.
We've tried everything to get cat to come out during the day and not be afraid of the kid its just got me a bit pissed that i now have a cat that eats this preimum food and has all the usual crap...etc for some animal that i never see and total defeats the goal of having a cat.
Anyone have any suggestions that could help Mary sparkles get over the fear of the kid, i just don't see it turning around even if i give years. my cat is not total afraid of my daughter, she will let the kid pet her some times. can you get prescriptions for cats? or bullets? kidding of course. But at this point i want a cat to interact with my little girl, whenever we are around cats at friends houses..etc she goes crazy and the cats roll around with her and play. very cute. love the cat, but out she goes if it continues to be the cold shoulder. slight stoned as i type this sorry for the length.

snowy · 07-15-2005, 05:48 PM

The cat will warm up to your daughter. You've just got to give her time. Really. My cat used to be afraid of my brother but eventually got used to him (same kind of thing, would hide under the bed when he was around). My cat wasn't treated well as a kitten and was skittish around strangers up until she died.

If you force more exposure with your daughter (for instance, having the cat in the same enclosed room as your daughter) that should help speed up the process.

Cats have personalities, just like humans, and with those personalities come distinct quirks. Sometimes you're the one who has to adjust, but given time the cat should get used to the presence of your daughter.

Good luck.

noodle · 07-15-2005, 06:41 PM

they do give pets some meds that'll chill them out, but i don't know how humane it is. my vet had me give my cat a dose of benadryl when i'd drive him in the car to my parents' house for five hours. after the first few times, i didn't have to do it anymore. he zones himself out after aout 10 minutes and rides in the back window. when he experienced the situation in a more relaxed state, it became a lot easier since he didn't have as much of a negative feeling about the situation.

but definately talk to a vet before using anything, and good luck trying to get her to take pills... my cat can shoot half a benadryl six feet across a room from the side of his mouth!

comp.sci · 07-15-2005, 06:42 PM

Dont kick out the cat - thats the worst thing to do. Rather give it more time to adjust to the new "animal" around. It will work out in the end, at least that's what my experience with multiple cats has taught me. Good luck!

canuckguy · 07-15-2005, 06:54 PM

i hope it does, i love the look on my daughters face when my friends cat plays with her.

la petite moi · 07-15-2005, 07:14 PM

According to the "Cat Owner's Manual" by Dr. David Brunner:

If the feline is already established in the household and the baby is the newcomer, the following steps will help the cat and the infant get along.

-Before the baby's arrival, apply baby lotionand/or powder on your skin to accustom the cat to the smell. Once the nursery is set up, allow the feline to explore it.

-If the cat is unfamiliar with babies, invite a friend who has young ones to visit so the feline can experience then. Closely supervise all encounters.

-Before the baby arrives, take the cat to its vet. Make sure the cat is free of disease and parasites and that all vaccinations are current.

-When the baby comes home, introduce it to the cat in the safest and most nonthreatening way possible. Hold the infant and let the feline, on its own terms, approach and investigate. Allow the cat to observe as much of the baby's everyday care as it wishes.

-If possible, provide your cat with the same amount of attention (or perhaps a bit more) that it received prior to the baby's arrival.

----

These probably don't help much, just because you've already brought your kid home, but maybe you should formally introduce your toddler and the cat. Also, maybe you should try giving your cat a little more affection. Then again, your cat may just be a more independent sort, and has trouble with change. Give it time.

lurkette · 07-15-2005, 09:18 PM

Valerian root is good for cat anxiety, as is Rescue Remedy (you can get either at most health food stores).

Our prickly cat got much more social once we started letting her go outside. I don't know if that is an option for you, but it's been like a personality transplant. She used to hide when we had visitors, or attack them if she was out and about. Now she lets folks pet her and is even affectionate. You might give it a try.

DazednConfused · 07-16-2005, 02:21 AM

Cats are very sensitive to different activity and new energy in the house. A toddler I'm sure adds a lot of activity and energy to the house that might be too much for your cat. A lot of cats that I have had have favored solitude to all the bustle of a house with kids. I always had to go searching for my cats to spend time with them. I don't know....just a possibility to consider.

canuckguy · 07-16-2005, 04:34 AM

thanks again for all the suggestions, petite, that sounds like a good book, i might have to pick that one up, we did do a few of those before the baby came home. I might try that valerian root, its worth a shot. This morning the cat is on our bed sleeping and when my little hellion woke up, i got her into bed with us this morning, when there both still dozy the cat will just lay there, feet up in the air, comfortable as can be with the kid rubbing her tummy. that lasted for about 2 minutes, then its like the cat clues in that its not me touching her and bolts out of the room.
the cat is a member of the family, we've taught the cat many tricks and such over the years and my wife would never let me get rid of her, not sure i could do it even if she wanted. but i may consider either letting the cat go outside and see if that changes her personality or adding another cat to the household. thanks again for all the suggestions and ideas!

raeanna74 · 07-16-2005, 06:38 AM

It takes time. I have a home child care so have a number of children in and out of the house at all times of the day. When it's busiest or the littlest ones are around, our cat will go hide. The littler children tend to be just a slight bit more rough with cats. My 18mo old nephew just started walking and while he is here now Catrina will hide out upstairs the whole time. Around our 5 yr old daughter though she is quite affectionate and hangs around a lot more.

Give the kitty time, let your little one grow up more and I'm sure the two will become better friends.

lurkette · 07-16-2005, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brian1975

but i may consider either letting the cat go outside and see if that changes her personality or adding another cat to the household.

Adding another pet is probably a bad idea. Cats are very territorial. It's bad enough, from the cat's point of view, that you brought this new, bald, funny-looking cat home with you, but to introduce another cat to the household at this point might put her over the edge. We introduced a new cat into our house about 4 years ago, and it took a full year for them to be civil to each other, and the older, already kind of neurotic cat started licking her belly hairless.

canuckguy · 07-16-2005, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lurkette

Adding another pet is probably a bad idea. Cats are very territorial. It's bad enough, from the cat's point of view, that you brought this new, bald, funny-looking cat home with you, but to introduce another cat to the household at this point might put her over the edge. We introduced a new cat into our house about 4 years ago, and it took a full year for them to be civil to each other, and the older, already kind of neurotic cat started licking her belly hairless.

about 3 years ago we came around a stray cat, we ended up bring it home until we found its owners, it got along fine with our little scaredy cat surprisingly, but i still might get another cat. i know we all love our animals, but i can't be a hostage to a cat. the reason people have pets is for companionship, my cat does not provide this. she is gonna have to adapt or else.

07-15-2005, 05:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	Help my scared cat! Well I have a 6 year old spaded female house cat, never goes outdoors, still has its claws and has turned into a complete pussy. She was about 4 months old when we got her, and she was abused before i believe, as a kitten she was very skiddish, slept (in) my sofa for the first month we had her, only came out at night. if you picked her up she felt like she would shake apart. Anyway, she came around and has become a very cuddly and friendly cat to my wife and I. strangers got the cold shoulder, rarely would she ever come out, but the odd time she would come out and rub against people other than my wife and I. Ever since my little girl now 15 months old started to walk the cat will not come out ever during the day. only comes out to feed at night, use the can. We've tried everything to get cat to come out during the day and not be afraid of the kid its just got me a bit pissed that i now have a cat that eats this preimum food and has all the usual crap...etc for some animal that i never see and total defeats the goal of having a cat. Anyone have any suggestions that could help Mary sparkles get over the fear of the kid, i just don't see it turning around even if i give years. my cat is not total afraid of my daughter, she will let the kid pet her some times. can you get prescriptions for cats? or bullets? kidding of course. But at this point i want a cat to interact with my little girl, whenever we are around cats at friends houses..etc she goes crazy and the cats roll around with her and play. very cute. love the cat, but out she goes if it continues to be the cold shoulder. slight stoned as i type this sorry for the length.

07-15-2005, 05:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	The cat will warm up to your daughter. You've just got to give her time. Really. My cat used to be afraid of my brother but eventually got used to him (same kind of thing, would hide under the bed when he was around). My cat wasn't treated well as a kitten and was skittish around strangers up until she died. If you force more exposure with your daughter (for instance, having the cat in the same enclosed room as your daughter) that should help speed up the process. Cats have personalities, just like humans, and with those personalities come distinct quirks. Sometimes you're the one who has to adjust, but given time the cat should get used to the presence of your daughter. Good luck. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

07-15-2005, 09:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Valerian root is good for cat anxiety, as is Rescue Remedy (you can get either at most health food stores). Our prickly cat got much more social once we started letting her go outside. I don't know if that is an option for you, but it's been like a personality transplant. She used to hide when we had visitors, or attack them if she was out and about. Now she lets folks pet her and is even affectionate. You might give it a try. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

07-16-2005, 06:38 AM	#10 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	It takes time. I have a home child care so have a number of children in and out of the house at all times of the day. When it's busiest or the littlest ones are around, our cat will go hide. The littler children tend to be just a slight bit more rough with cats. My 18mo old nephew just started walking and while he is here now Catrina will hide out upstairs the whole time. Around our 5 yr old daughter though she is quite affectionate and hangs around a lot more. Give the kitty time, let your little one grow up more and I'm sure the two will become better friends. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

07-15-2005, 06:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
comp.sci Upright	Dont kick out the cat - thats the worst thing to do. Rather give it more time to adjust to the new "animal" around. It will work out in the end, at least that's what my experience with multiple cats has taught me. Good luck!

07-15-2005, 06:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	i hope it does, i love the look on my daughters face when my friends cat plays with her.

07-15-2005, 07:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	According to the "Cat Owner's Manual" by Dr. David Brunner: If the feline is already established in the household and the baby is the newcomer, the following steps will help the cat and the infant get along. -Before the baby's arrival, apply baby lotionand/or powder on your skin to accustom the cat to the smell. Once the nursery is set up, allow the feline to explore it. -If the cat is unfamiliar with babies, invite a friend who has young ones to visit so the feline can experience then. Closely supervise all encounters. -Before the baby arrives, take the cat to its vet. Make sure the cat is free of disease and parasites and that all vaccinations are current. -When the baby comes home, introduce it to the cat in the safest and most nonthreatening way possible. Hold the infant and let the feline, on its own terms, approach and investigate. Allow the cat to observe as much of the baby's everyday care as it wishes. -If possible, provide your cat with the same amount of attention (or perhaps a bit more) that it received prior to the baby's arrival. ---- These probably don't help much, just because you've already brought your kid home, but maybe you should formally introduce your toddler and the cat. Also, maybe you should try giving your cat a little more affection. Then again, your cat may just be a more independent sort, and has trouble with change. Give it time.

07-16-2005, 02:21 AM	#8 (permalink)
DazednConfused Upright Location: On the Darkside of the Moon	Cats are very sensitive to different activity and new energy in the house. A toddler I'm sure adds a lot of activity and energy to the house that might be too much for your cat. A lot of cats that I have had have favored solitude to all the bustle of a house with kids. I always had to go searching for my cats to spend time with them. I don't know....just a possibility to consider.

07-16-2005, 04:34 AM	#9 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	thanks again for all the suggestions, petite, that sounds like a good book, i might have to pick that one up, we did do a few of those before the baby came home. I might try that valerian root, its worth a shot. This morning the cat is on our bed sleeping and when my little hellion woke up, i got her into bed with us this morning, when there both still dozy the cat will just lay there, feet up in the air, comfortable as can be with the kid rubbing her tummy. that lasted for about 2 minutes, then its like the cat clues in that its not me touching her and bolts out of the room. the cat is a member of the family, we've taught the cat many tricks and such over the years and my wife would never let me get rid of her, not sure i could do it even if she wanted. but i may consider either letting the cat go outside and see if that changes her personality or adding another cat to the household. thanks again for all the suggestions and ideas!