Valerian root is good for cat anxiety, as is Rescue Remedy (you can get either at most health food stores).
Our prickly cat got much more social once we started letting her go outside. I don't know if that is an option for you, but it's been like a personality transplant. She used to hide when we had visitors, or attack them if she was out and about. Now she lets folks pet her and is even affectionate. You might give it a try.
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