KellyC

Playing tennis last year, a friend of mine serve the ball lighty and some how it hit my testicals, it hurts like hell though, I couldn't even walk for 10 minute....

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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

isis

I poked myself in the eye with needle nose pliers. Thankfully, I came out of that one with just a minor scrape. Could have been alot more serious. Thats what happens when 6 year old girls want to help their dads fix the car!

Just a couple years ago, I was drunkenly skateboarding .. trying to show off to some guys and I completely snapped my foot. I was so drunk I didn't notice until it swelled to the size of a football. Drinking + Skateboarding = Injuries for sure.

mingusfingers

Drinking plus sprinting down a hill = snapped femur. Don't do it.

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Still Looking

hilbert25

Dented my forehead after getting pushed by my older sister and falling up (?wtf?) stairs into a radiator when 2 years old. .

Lost the tip of my finger when I was 4 playing tag. I was chasing my sister, she closed the door on my hand, and locked it. Wouldn't open it for like 5 minutes.

Crashed an old school (steel) sled into a tree when I was 6, got maybe 10 stitches in my forehead.

Cut the cartilage in my ear after falling and catching it on a cupboard when I was trying to get down some cheerios.

I had a girl's tooth embedded in my scalp when I was 7 when I fell on her in a bouncy castle.

I got a gash about 4 inches long, 2-3 inches deep in my upper thigh trying to jump a bench when I was 9, all my friends were doing it, I tried but didn't. I could see all the way down to the bone. I walked/was carried about a 1/4 mile home and was like "Mom, I have a cut."

Mild concussion when playing the most stupid game ever, Speedball, in gym class in high school. Some dude thought he was a ninja and flagrantly head butted me when I was going for the ball. I was told to walk it off. (I think it was mild, as all that happened was I was nauseous, and couldn't see straight for a few days, I still went to track practice that day though).

Speed_Gibson

-> my 'nastiest' one - slipped on a driveway and fell face first into gravel. A small rock with a sharp point completely embedded itself in my forehead, when it was pulled out you could see a perfect circle with numerous layers of flesh. There was no bleeding but a small portion of my skull was visible for some time afterward until it healed up and left a small scar on my forehead.

-> one that sticks in my head - I was sounding a fuel tank in a officer's head and there this was high pressure f*&(%ing steam valve with no lagging by the valve itself;that section must have been at least 400 degrees. I was well aware of its location and usually avoided it but this time my hand brushed against the exposed copper for literally 1/10 of a second. A blister was forming two minutes later.
There were countless other steam burns but those were just small normal ones that happen when you crawl around in naaaasty bilges and work around steam systems.

-> most annoying and lingering - hanging on the rim from a flat-footed jump, slipping off, and nearly breaking my right elbow (fortunately) from the approximate 7-8 foot fall and landing directly on my side.

edit: just remembered the four stitches that I had in the top of my scalp after hitting my head on a large pipe in the forward elevator room. That was a bit bloody and real pain to shave around.

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Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

Black Adder

Asuka{eve}

When I was 8 I was into rockets. One day since I was impatient I took a rocket engine and fired it from my hand. It burned off all the skin on my pinky.

guinnessgurl

When I was about eight or nine, my family was on a trip to Disneyland. One night my grandpa wanted to take us for a midnight swim in the pool of our hotel. I had this brillient idea that I would jump into the pool backwards, only I didn't jump far enough and hit my chin on the edge of the pool - had to have 12 stiches and still have a scar......*sigh*, the good ol' days.

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Don't go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail - George Eliot

dogzilla

Electronics was my hobby in high school. I had a friend over one day. To prove I was a tough guy I challenged him to grab the barrel of a soldering iron.

He wouldn't. I did. I forgot that it was plugged in and got blisters all over the palm of my hand.

I also thougt it was cool to hook resistors up to a power supply, crank the power supply up to 400 volts and watch the resistor smoke. That lasted until I grabbed the 400 volt lines with both hands. Somehow I managed to let go, but I had a lot more respect for high voltage after that.

fhqwhgads

This past winter I was making gifts for some friends for Christmas. I was on a bit of a deadline, and since it was cold I put on some thin gloves as I used the tablesaw. Welp, I reached toward the blade to clear a piece of cut-off, and the tip of the glove got pulled into the blade, pulling my hand in with it. It took a nasty sized chunk out of the tip of my thumb. As seems to be the case, it didn't hurt until I pulled the glove off and looked at it. My initial thought actually was to be upset that I put a hole in my gloves...

Oh yeah, I also got bit on the leg by a crazy guy once. No stitches, but it took a small chunk out of my leg and it was swollen for a month. True story.

castex

Number - ooh - 37 in my list of wierd injuries happened on the rugby field at school. I was about 13, running ball-in-hand with all the skill and majesty of a young Euiaian Evans, when some jug-eared little thug tripped me. I sailed face-first into someone's knee, and my left incisor made an incision in my upper lip. I went straight to the bogs for a drink- not crying, no sir - and standing at the mirror I had the singular pleasure of watching rose-tinted water dribbling out of the hole in my cheek and down my chin. Happy days.

Rubyee

When I was really little, 3 I think, I got loose on a softball diamond and got smacked upside the head with an aluminium bat.

Around the same age, I ran over my grandma with my mom's nova and banged my head up something fierce. My grandma was worse, though.

I have a donut shaped scar on my thumb from a smoke bomb with a short fuse. That smoke is really hot!

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You don't know from fun.

maleficent

and here my mother has always told me that I was the only klutz that could possibly do that. It was the summer of 4th grade, and I hated shoes even then. I ended up with a toothpick in my foot but it couldn't be found. Until my foot swelled up the next day, and turned all sorts of colors.

Xrays showed nothing in my foot (the toothpick was lined up right against one of the bones in my foot. Went under the knife, and they found it. I still have the scar.

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BoomTruck

*picks 3 random entries form file*


Tried installing joist hangers with a nailgun. Went real well until I missed the 1/8 inch hole the nail goes in. Now have a small scar next to my nose where the nail bounced off my face.

Lit acutting torch for another guy in shop once (NEVER do that). He had the acetylene turned up way too high, and he jerked the torch across the back of one of my fingers when it lit. Nice little 3rd degree burn there.

Hit my left middle finger with a sandblaster. Went right through the glove and took a divot the size of a nickel and about 1/8 inch deep out instantly. Had to stop and go get a band-aid on that one. :P

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Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.

Polyphobic

Where do I start?

1) Worked as a crew member at Wendy's. They had old fryers with heating elements that you would pull out when cleaning the fryer. Several times I hit them with my elbow. Nice 3rd degree burn.
2) At wendys I was chopping lettuce at the sink. I put the knife down and it ended up facing blade up over the edge of the sink. I reached in to grab lettuce and sliced straight through the skin in between 2 of my fingers. Went to my boss and told him I needed to go visit the hospital since I could see my ligaments.

Plus, many more that I can't remember.

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<--The great infidel-->

raeanna74

Riding my bicycle into a telephone pole, cracking my skull and giving myself a head concussion. I was 7 years old, in a race with my neighbor boy, and looked back to judge how far ahead I was. I looked back and BAM! hit the pole. I actually don't remember the blow, just seeing the pole and then waking in the ambulance.

Then I was 18, working in a factory, and sewed through my left pointer finger 3 times with an industrial sewing machine. Went through my nail twice, and just in front of my first nuckle the last time. Didn't even hurt that much until I was trying to fill out the accident form. Then it started throbbing and bleeding all over.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

BonesCPA

Doing some tree trimming with a new electric chainsaw when I was 17. Cuts real smooth since it was new. A lot easier than getting clippers for the smaller pieces. Turns out it is not as easy to control when you have a small branch held in one hand and the chainsaw in the other. When the saw bucked, it bounced into my other hand and sliced into two fingers, taking a small portion out of my thumb nail, and making two parallel cuts in my forefinger. Thumb healed almost 100%, and forefinger still have two very cute scars in my finger. No other permanent damage though.

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Back into hibernation.

maleficent

I'm basically a klutz, a walking accident waiting to happen, if there's a set of stairs anywhere I've been more than once, you can bet I've fallen up or down them at least once.

A decade or so back, I was at a concert at Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands in NJ, I wasa on the top level, and we were leaving the concert, the meadowlands has a rather long escalator leaving it - I was midway downt he escalator when it stopped short - -everyone behind me pushed forward and I fell down them and broke my left arm. (Have had a paranoia of escalators and crowds ever since)

A few months back I was heading down the stairs in Penn Station to the LIRR (becauseI hate escalators), I had my obligatory cup of coffee in one hand, my laptop slung over my shoulder, and the news paper in my other hand (this is why you are supposed to hold handrails) Well, I can only guess that my skirt hem got caught in my heel and I practically did a cartwheel down the stairs. Bruised the hell out of my tailbone and my elbow but didn't spill a drop of coffee.

As a teenager, I was playing a spirirted game of soccer in my parents kitchen (mom always said don't play ball in the house) - Well I went to kick the ball, and I missed the ball and kicked the wall, of course I wasn't wearing shoes, and I broke 2 toes on my foot.

I used to play hockey and ice skate a lot with the neighborhood kids, I've fallen thru the ice more times than I can count.

I've had two rounds of arthroscopic surgery on my right knee due to identical skiing injuries two years apart in two differnt locations. Year one, was in Sunday River in Maine I was coming down a slope in perfect conditions, a person who did not belong on the slope that they were on crashed into me from behind -- never saw them coming at all. The year after, I was at Jackson Hole, Wyoming, same thing - person just crashed into me from behind.

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ngdawg

Age 13, showing off on my bike to a hottie working on the roof next door-i rode the curb...but not for long-bike tumbled, I went over the handlebars...let's just say it was my first sexual experience
Fast forward about 6 years-with friends at the local cedarlake when one decides he'd like to toss me in, but I fought him off and in the process, landed square on my ass on the water's edge-broke my tailbone.
So now, I'm a mature responsible adult. Two days before Christmas, 02, I'm washing a glass out, the bottom rim cracks off and slices the tip of my middle finger half off. Spouse says, might need stitches, go to the ER. So I drove myself, blood-covered towel and all-got 8 stitches and ended up with nerve damage. I have also sliced open the thumb of my right hand while cutting bagels for a school bake sale and have some damage from that as well.

Charlatan

A few years back I broke my baby toe...

In true idiot fashion I did it in a most unspectacular fashion. I was acting goofy, ran by my wife and my baby toe caught on her heel...

I felt pain and crumpled to the floor in fits of laughter. When I looked at my toe it was at a 90 degree angle from the rest of my toes. Freaked me out but I still didn't stop laughing...



The other major injury (if a broken baby toe can be included in the concept of major) was when I was a kid. I was riding my bicycle around my neighbourhood and when I went over a speed bump the front forks on my bike snapped. I went headfirst over the handle bars and landed firmly on my chin. After sliding for a few feet I sat up dazed and bawling...

A group of teenagers playing frisbee gathered up the remains of my bike and took me home. The best was my Mom answering the door to the sight of my face covered in blood.

My chin took three stitches without freezing... I hated needles. It took my Mom, the Nurse, the Doctor and an Intern to hold me down.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

amonkie

I was at a camp in Jr High, and they had a multi leg relay race. My activity was to push a raw egg through a human fooseball sand court with my nose. As you can imagine, this took a while. When I got done, I stood up and thought the sand had just scraped up my knees horribly. Turns out when they put peroxide on it, and I SCREAMED, the sand given me second degree burns on both my knees. Who woulda thought that would happen? I got dropped off at home from camp by one of my friend's parents, and when my parents got home all they saw was two gigantic bandages covering both my knees, plus two inches on either side to try and keep me from bending my knees. That was an interesting experience, explaining what happened.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

yakimushi

My girlfriend poked me in the eye with her nipple once. Hurt like hell and killed the mood completely.

viejo gringo

since I do a lot of wood working, I have a lot of scares and finger tips not sewed on straight, but the most emberasing injury was when I was about 12 and rode down a gravel road on the handel bars of a bicycle---not knowing that I had the mumps. Yea, they went down on me. My right testical was about the size of an ostrich egg.....then the doctor came and said "wow, isin't that a dandy" right in front of my mom...well, it went down to almost nothing----still couldn't get a discount on the vasactomy.

irseg

I went flying on this guy's little single-engine plane. We landed at a tiny airport, and they had courtesy bikes for people to ride around the town. I soon came to realize this was quite the misnomer.

I was moving along at a good pace, when the seat violently collapsed and tipped forward. I tried to regain my balance by standing on the pedals, but it was one of those bikes where backpedaling actuates the rear brake. So the rear wheel soon tried to exchange places with the front which sent me flying. The guy I was riding with was ahead of me, and noticed something was amiss when one of my sandals went flying past him. I fell off to the side and the damn bike kept tumbling.

There was about a 10 foot long curvy skid mark from the locked up rear tire, soon followed by paint, foam from the seat being torn open, and some clothing shreds, skin, and blood contributed by me. I remember sitting on the ground, somewhat in shock, and thinking "If I had to injure myself on a stupid bike, at least it left a lot of cool looking marks all over the road."

After getting home I called my mom, and said "I went out on a friend's 4-seater plane today. Had quite a crash. Quite a few scrapes and bruises, lost some blood, but I'm okay." After giving her a few seconds to freak out I said "Oh yeah, forgot, the crash was when I fell off a bike." Her response: "YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

present_future

I seem to have problems with soccer goalposts (I used to play goalkeeper.) In 3rd grade, I was going to stop a shot, and I ran facefirst into the pole. I ended up chipping half of one of my front teeth. Fast forward about 4 years. Same exact goalpost, I go to make a diving stop on a penalty kick, and i hook my left thumb around the goalpost. The next day I go to the hospital to get a cast put on it.

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The only thing I'll ever ask of you... you gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

WarWagon

Thornbush + right eye = ouch.

doomdoom

i ran into a buffet table at my family's restuarant. i was the exact same height as the part that the dishes go on. i have a scar on my forehead now.

matteo101

I dunked a basketball on one of those movable basketball hoops, that you fill with water to hold down. I thought it would be cool to hang, and make it look cool. It tipped, and I had a concusion, and broken nose. So embaressing lol.

rockzilla

One time at work I had to make a stuffed lobster. To stuff a lobster, you have to lay it on its back, while it's still alive, hold its tail down and jam a knife in its chest so you can rip the guts out and replace them with stuffing. I had done this many times without a problem.
This time however, the lobster tried to push his tail up against my hand with such force that his upper body lunged up at me. Out of surprise, I let my hand go, causing the lobster to sail into the air, landing squarely in my groin. The lobster hit the floor and I was doubled over in pain and laughter, since a few other cooks saw this happen.
I got my revenge though.

Mehoni

I was standing on my brothers bed, slipped and impaled one of my feet on an open three ring binder. One of the ring-thingies made a nice hole between two of my toes.

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There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth - all organisms eventually perish.

omid

i think it was age 7 or 8... i tried to do a 'method' with my skateboard. when i brought the board up to grab it, i missed and broke my thumb on the board. really sad.

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Kick butt buzz-cut dickheads who didn't like what I said.
The good times are killing me.
Jaws clenching tight we talked all night, oh but what the hell did we say?
The good times are killing me.

CrazySaturn

Way for tech injuries! Mine would probably be the day of strike, which is when you disassemble/destroy the set. Well, at the beginning of the build we had put up foot-high platforms with 2x4's and plywood and toescrewing them down. After pulling them up, some of the screws had not been taken out, so we were walking around sliding our shoes looking for screws on the black painted wooden floor. I found one so I kneeled to take it out and, in the process, put my knee right on another screw that was screwed into the floor yet lacking a head. I though I only maybe scratched myself, but 10 minutes later I started feeling the warm liquid hitting my socks. Lifted up my jeans and, lo and behold, I definitely stabbed myself deeply with the screw and had been bleeding from the wound constantly!

Another one, but this time it was a friend that got injured. We were looking at this crappy tape measure with the head gone, so I took it apart and was looking at the tape measureing part. Then a friend said, "let me see it." He promptly unwound the tape measure part, then tried to pull apart the plastic case of the spring inside. However, the spring, under constant pressure, instead decided to unwind it's 15' band of coiled steel on his finger, giving him a nice surgical cut to the bone!

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What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck...I can't remember how it ends, but your mother is a whore!

Xothan

I've got a few...

When I was nine or so, I got kicked in the jaw while playing "Steal the Bacon" at summer camp...bit all the way through my tongue...all of my cabinmates thought it was so cool that I could stick my tongue out and bleed on the top AND the bottom

When I was 13 I was building a model...well, the exacto knife and I didn't exactly get along...while trimming some excess plastic off of the piece I was working with, the knife slipped...I now have a 1.5'' scar on my left index finger...the doctor said if I had cut 3 or 4 millimeters more, I would have cleaved the nerve and lost function in the finger altogether.

Senior year of high school, I dislocated my shoulder during a football game. That doesn't sound so bad, but I had trouble with it all season, because the bastard just wouldn't stay in the socket. Finally, after everything was over, a bunch of my friends were goofing off, playing badminton. I, of course, joined in. I took a mighty swing at the birdie and my shoulder promptly threw itself out of socket...dislocating your shoulder whilst playing badminton is rather humiliating and disheartening...especially if females are around =(...on the plus side, I got lots of sympathy later=)

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Xothan

AIM - icarlson75

MSD

Two weeks ago, I slipped on a plastic fork, and hit my leg on the dishwasher handle. I cannot deprive you of the privelege of seeing a picture of my misfortune. Here it is, with a US quarter for scale,




How'd you end up on the back windshield?

grayman

A few months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with the feeling that I was going to be sick. Since it was flu season, I wasn't exactly surprised, but I wasn't sure how my illness was going to present itself. Just to be safe, I sat on the throne holding a bucket. Apparently, I passed out. I came to to hear my wife pounding on the bathroom door. I reached up and unlocked the door, and she came in. She helped me up and then said "Omigod, you're bleeding," while looking at a senstive area. Concerned that I might need stitches and because my stomach was now experiencing waves of shooting pains, we went to the e.r. The doctor gave me something to settle my stomach and said that I "tore" myself. He said I didn't need stitches, that I should just put antibiotic ointment on it. The best I can figure out, I was securely "tucked in" before I passed out, and my rapid descent took me past the stretching point. Oh well, if I am ever killed in a disfiguring accident, my wife will still be able to identify me in the morgue.

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That's right - I'm a guy in a suit eating a Blizzard. F U.

k1ng

I was a freshman in college and was playing hacky sack with a couple friends in our dorm room. My roomate happened to have a picnic basket with all the works, including champagne glasses. After about 20 minutes of playing, I went back to get a shot and slammed my elbow through the glasses. I had glass all in my elbow.

I had to go to the school nurse and she got what she could get out and told me to go to the hospital to get the rest out. The doctor took X-Rays and could still see that I had a piece under the skin, but he wasn't able to get it out. So I still have a piece of glass under my skin. I can still feel it sometimes..

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"Delight in excellence is easily confused with snobbery by the ignorant." -Joseph Epstein

cj22009

When I was about 12 I cut the end of my left index finger off with a radio controlled air plane I didnt even feel it until I seen the blood squirting everywere

the_marq

I slid down a tin roof and fell back on the bolts that sealed the seam, the first bolt head only tore a hole in my shorts, the 2nd-8th took hunks of my ass.

Not my finest moment.

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The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series

animosity

well i wasnt going to tell anyone about this but k1ng told me about this thread....

just about every weekend we have drunken boxing matches at my cousins house(we use gloves and all that).
on may 9th(the night before my brothers colloge graduation) we had a match like always and while going for a left upper-cut i over shot and hit my left forearm on my cousins face. we both fell on the floor for a moment in pain, then got back up and kept at it. it was about this time i realized something was really wrong with my left arm and decided to quit for the night. the next day after i got back from my brothers graduation i went to the ER and had some x-rays taken. aprarently it was shattered into several peices & i now have an 8 inch plate with 6 screws in my arm....

:::OshnSoul:::

Well, I guess it's not necessarily an injury, but it hurt like hell- My back & neck get out of alignment very easily. The beginning of last week, my son was grabbing onto my sweater hood and jumping off of a chair, jolting me backwards. For the past few days every single part of my body has been aching, but luckily today I feel better. I've never broken a bone, so I'm fortunate for that.

absorbentishe

At age 6, I tried to swing like tarzan, but it was more like George of the jungle, when I fell backwards, about 10 feet up, I put my arm out to catch my fall. Snap.

I was at a concert in '95, I made it to the front row, and some dude swung me around and head butted me, right above my left eye. 9 stiches.