Wombat

Did anyone know about these? Just found via Google, thought it was quite funny.

http://www.spicygear.com/realistic.htm (NSFW)

What's strange is I think I'm attracted to the Briana Banks one. Help!

Peetster

OK, that's just... odd.

feelgood

I find it hard that the owner of the company is a chick...

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

Redlemon

How do you prove this? Can you return it if it doesn't feel right? Oh so many possible questions...

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

tisonlyi

Maybe she likes the taste of plastic?

A lino muncher?

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"I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place." - Winston Churchill, 1937 --{ORLY?}--

tisonlyi

Madam,

I am writing in complaint over the quality, or lack thereof, of your 'Realistic' Brianna Banks Vibrating Pussy & Ass.

Frankly, down on the farm here, my usual fare consists of donkeys, sheep and the occasional goat and I purchased the aforementioned fake fanny in the hope of a heightened experience with a humanistic slant.

I have to say, real as it may be, I prefer the goat. This Ms Banks must have had a fucking train up it.

I feel you should warn potential customers that while this product is real, they are more likely to have a satisfying sexual encounter with a well lubed trouser pocket.

Yours,

I. P. Horsefucker.

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"I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place." - Winston Churchill, 1937 --{ORLY?}--

DelayedReaction

If there's a product, there's a market. After all, you can buy anatomically correct inflatable sheep over the internet.

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If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

flamingdog

*spits tea over keyboard*

That's coming out of your wages, McGarnagle.

Fanny like a horse's collar...

Asuka{eve}

I am scared. Do people like sheep "THAT" way?

moonstrucksoul

it looks like a good time

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no signature required

theguyondacouch

I assume you've never been to west virginia?

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"Lick my frozen metal ass!"

fhqwhgads

My friend and I had a conversation about these things one day. Sure, it may be molded from the vagina of a pornstar, or it could be molded from the woman who served me mac and cheese in the fourth grade. I never saw either of their goods, so how the hell am I supposed to know?

"You know what? This DOES feel like Jenna Jameson". Like I'd know.

World's King

I want one of thoes made of my crotch.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

rsl12

can a pussy be realistic AND vibrate??

a self-moisturising pussy though....that would be useful...

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oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

Cynthetiq

i'd prefer self cleaning over self mosturising any day...

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

denim

Why not get both! I understand that a Real Woman(tm) does that.

qtpye4u84

I have seen them make one of those,and make a dildo mold too, they just sit in a chair put oil on the skin then put on the junk and then theres the mold.
I saw this on playboy T.V.
They sale those to make the porn star more money.

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The QTpie

zxello

Hey!! I resemble that comment!!!

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Old signature just wasn't doing it for me anymore, so now I have this new one. It's equally as stupid but at least it looks really long. I'm probably just going to keep typing until I run out of things to babble about and see how many people actually read this. I once ran down a hill, fell down and hurt my elbow; my mom said I would be ok, she kissed it and made it all better. I've run out of things to say now, so if you have read this whole thing, congratulations you get a gold star!

skier

I wish my girlfriend had vibrated. How does Jenna Jameson do it?

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

WarWagon

I can think of better ways to spend $130. Like a hooker.

VTBrian

Hookers are temporary, now pornstar vaginias those last forever...

RoboBlaster

Will you be able to hump her like a hunk of cold, lifeless, pseudoflesh? I don't think so. It practically pays for itself.

KellyC

I saw this on HBO a couple years back. They showed how to make it and they were doing Nikki Tyler's vagina mould. What's really a turn on is that she later went to a strip club, strip and play with her own vagina mould. Needless to say, there were plenty of guys lining up to buy it.

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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

spived2

LOL

THIS PRODUCT IS NOT RETURNABLE

Printed right on their page. I know I wouldn't want one sent back to me... eww

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"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V

Phaenx

I always wanted to get one of those real dolls. Not because I'm a sexless loser, but because if I flipped out and skull fucked someone as hilariously as I want to, they'd die.

There was a good example of this a while ago. Some chick was talking on camera about the distress of the modern woman, and then some guy walks up, grabs her by the hair and starts forcefully ramming his wiener into her face.

It was terrible. I laughed for like 3 weeks straight.

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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

Harshaw

I remember when my dad gave me that very advice.

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This too shall pass.

Church

I really don't know why some of you are reacting like this. I am surprised that here out of all placed do not know about these. I in fact have one, not the Briana Banks one, but the Devon one, and it feels great. I admit they aren't for everyone, but I think they feel great. And for the record, my girlfriend bought it for me because we're both very much into toys .

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Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

tisonlyi

Is it like poking a clown's pocket with a biro?

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"I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place." - Winston Churchill, 1937 --{ORLY?}--

Redlemon

Perhaps a vibrator up the butt?

tisonlyi

In some of out, ahem, discussions o'er the phone while she's away, my lady and I have talked about popping an egg vibe into her bum while we're on the job.

Sounds fantastic, to me.

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"I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place." - Winston Churchill, 1937 --{ORLY?}--

duckduck

Actually, I saw a show on Showcase where they were using some male pr0n stars wang to form a mold. Apparently, it's pretty difficult as one needs to maintain an erection without any manual stimulation or movement of the wang.

Ah, the hardships pr0n stars go through.

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Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!

Redlemon

Here's a great first-person perspective on using the Create-A-Mate kit. The author is one of my favorite once-a-week-new-read webspots.

rsl12

I love Real Woman(tm)! But she's hard to keep under my mattress for convenience.

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oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

iamweasel

They have high maintaince costs as well

SpikeQX99

hmmm... not a good thing for the small of unit people out there!!

Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Well, if it's too big for the lil' unit, I guess you could use it for a hat or a headrest for watching TV or something.

That sure would suck to blow 130 bux on something like that only to find out that it was the wrong size!

Like ordering shoes off the internet.
NO RETURNS! Dammit.

hehe, I said "suck to blow" in the real context of a sentence...

Anyways. I'm so out of it today sorry guys

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I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

guthmund

For $5000+ it better clean the whole room.

I like how they have remote controls, like you're going to be way across the room when you want this booger to vibrate instead of laying on like a beached whale.

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No signature. None. Seriously.

Blackthorn

I want one of each!

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What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

Captain Canada

I dunno, it just seems kind of sad if you have to have sex with a rubber...or whatever they call it...vagina.

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Conclusion: Flamethrowers and Furries go togerther like Pol Pot and the Cambodian populace.

denim

Yes, it's sad. Please, send me a real woman.