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I always wanted to get one of those real dolls. Not because I'm a sexless loser, but because if I flipped out and skull fucked someone as hilariously as I want to, they'd die.
There was a good example of this a while ago. Some chick was talking on camera about the distress of the modern woman, and then some guy walks up, grabs her by the hair and starts forcefully ramming his wiener into her face.
It was terrible. I laughed for like 3 weeks straight.
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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
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