neoinoakleys

Ok, here is the story...

My wife is really kool about letting me hang out with my guy friends and even go to the strip clubs. She is not the jealous type.

Although, some of my buddies are getting married now and the amount of time that we get to spend together just being guys are slowly dimineshing.

Some of the wives are out right opposed to strip clubs and bars and things of the like. I am no psychologist but shouldn't a relationship be built on trust???

If you can't trust your significant other to go out and do WHATEVER he/she wants then what's the point of being married? Better yet, why are you married to a person that you can't trust?

My wife and I are VERY secure in our relationship. I don't get jealous with her hanging with her girlfriends and doing whatever, and she doesn't get jealous when I hang with my buddy's. Hell, her and I both check out chicks at the malls and bars together. (she is not bi or a lesbian). She just knows that I would never stray and she trusts me. I have never given her any reason not to trust me. I am very loyal to my wife.

So why are women so threatened by our "guy nights??"

BTW....If I were a woman, I would much rather have my man go to a strip club from time to time than go to the bars. In a strip club, the chances of a stripper going home with you is slim to none. think about it ladies...the strippers are around guy ALL DAY LONG, everyday....they have heard EVERY line in the book. They are there to make money, this is a job to them.

On the other hand, I could go home with at least 1 woman every night that we go to the bar. Some woman are there solely for that purpose....

hmmm...think about it...

any thoughts?

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platypus

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My wife has no problem with me going out with the guys (which I don't really do all that often anyway).

Her quote: "I don't mind where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home."

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Lebell

It's all about trust, both where you both are in your own heads and about the trust and faithfulness you've shown in your relationship.

My ex actually didn't have a big problem with me going out by myself, but then again, I would usually prefer to have her with me. I tried very hard not to betray that trust and she knew it.

Other women are very insecure for whatever reason and they feel threatened when their bf or husband goes places without them.

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Sparky

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones too. My wife doesn't mind when I go out with the boys, she always knows where I will come home to. It's good to go out and have your seperate time away from each other, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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gov135

First: girlfriend of two and a half years - not a wife, so that may make a difference to you.

Lets see, she doesn't mind me going out with the boys, though she does ask that I call whenever I get home. I'm pretty sure that's just to make sure we made it and not checking up on me, though I could be wrong. That point is not enough of an issue that I want to argue. Strip clubs (she even went once with us), bars, no big deal. It's kinda what the boys do.

When she goes out with her girlfriends (all single), I let her do her thing and try not to ask questions unless she brings it up.

Cause it is about trust. And I also feel that Sparky made an excellent point. I wouldn't want her blocking my time nor would I block hers cause its healthy to get out the house and away for a bit.

Trusting can possibly set you up for a world of hurt. I wouldn't be surprised if over a third of married couples aren't willing to totally trust.

william

Sounds like there's more to the story. No - she shouldn't be so jealous, so why is she? From what you've done, or what she's doing? People don't enter into a relationship w/out trouble. It comes later - after the BS has worn off.

neoinoakleys

Whose post are you refering to?

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Cubby

My wife doesn't mind me going out with the guys at all. In fact she pushes for me to go out with the boys more often. Hmmm...mabye there's something going on there...??

Seriously though she has no problem with me going to strip clubs, etc. She trusts me, I trust her, nothing else to say.

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leaf fan

My ex used to get really pissed off when I went to strip clubs. So one night all of the guys brought their girlfirends or wives. Once the realized that it was nothing like what they thought it would be we had no problems.

Angel

I have never understood why women or men get jealous about having friends and doing things with them. It is all about trust. If you can't trust your partner to be elsewhere without you on his / her arm, there is a huge element missing that is critical to the growth and development of the relationship. Jealousy is a fast track to nowhere.

Just my two pennies!

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neoinoakleys

Right on...right on...

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PataQ

marriages are built on the following things:
trust
compromise
love

pick one

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Peetster

Actually, in the day, I went home with strippers all the time. They need sex after a hard day's work too.

SaltPork

My wife hates strip clubs, disgusting she says. I, for the most part, agree. I think that women as objects, which is what they are in strip clubs is just plain nasty. Having said that, I've been to a bunch with friends and they just don't do much for me. If I can't touch the merchandise, then why bother, but I always have a good time when I go, figure that one out. I guess it's the naked women .

I can understand a woman not liking that. Some women don't care and you're lucky, I guess, if yours is like that. I don't miss not being "allowed" to frequent such places. Objectively, I hate to see beautiful women degrading themselves like that. On the other hand, naked chicks are cool.

So I'm a little conflicted...oh well.

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Antikarma

Nah, my wife is great. She'll go with me if she's bored but normally she'll boot me out with the guys and go with some girlfriends to some bar that serves chilled drinks

That being said, a lot of buddies I know have wives that FREAK. One of my buddies just got married, and two nights before the wedding she says to him "Oh yeah, no strip club on your bachelor party. As a matter of fact, no more strip club at all, am I not sexy enough naked for you??"

I know what I woulda done in HIS shoes, but he didn't, he married her. I give it two weeks till he calls me to set up some covert "Strip Club Mission".

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leaving your room, of which you know each bit;
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Minx

Relationships should be based on trust and the way I see it, if you don't trust your partner enough to let them go out with their buddies & have some fun then you don't have a true relationship. It boils down to self-assurance as well. You have to be comfortable with yourself to be comfortable (and trust whole-heartedly) someone else.
My previous relationship failed (in part) because my guy wouldn't let me go out for a quick drink after work, or go to the football games with my friends, etc etc etc and this eventually (because of the lack of trust factor) killed it. No one wants to be a prisoner and I think if you love someone then trust them to go have fun and have their own friends. I certainly don't want to be told what/when/where I can do/go and I would never try to tell another what they can or cannot do.

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Stilts

I agree, without total trust you might as well just ditch the whole thing. My wife likes to go to sleep around 9 or so, I can't fall asleep until 3am usually. Since there's not a lot to do here that won't wake her up, I go out a lot, 3 or 4 nights a week at least usually. The kicker is that I usually go out with other women, all my guy friends have to work in the morning, some of the women don't have to be in until the afternoon, so I'm usually with women. My wife not only doesn't care, but she'll tell me to get one of my girlfriends and leave because I'm keeping her up and getting on her nerves.

She wasn't always like that, when we first started dating she was really jealous. Then a few times I had plans with friends, and she didn't want to go, she wanted to watch movies. Anyhow, she called her ex fiance over to watch the movies with her, since they'd been friends since they were little. When she saw that I didn't give a shit, after that everything became all right with her. I trust her 100%, when she saw it wasn't a one way track then she quit worrying.

neoinoakleys

That is AMAZING, Stilts....

Congratulations...You've got a GREAT girl there.

Now just don't do ANYTHING to ruin that trust...

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It's My Duty to Please That Booty!!

Slims

hmm, my girlfriend doesn't mind my going out with the guys, even though that doesn't happen so much nowadays. I don't think going to strip clubs on a regular basis would fly though, although I plan to go to one at some point to see what they are like. I don't see anything wrong with going to bars, especially if you have friends with you.

The idea of someone staying with you because you deny them the opportunity to meet other people is unpleasant to me. I would much rather my girlfriend stays with me because she looks at the other people and wants me most. She can do 'almost' anything she wants too.

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