*Nikki*

What is wrong with people?

Why has lying become so acceptable?

What do people feel the need to lie to others to get what they want/need?

Why do people say one thing and then do the exact opposite?

What motivates liars??

If you feel the need to lie to build yourself up, why don't you get off your ass and DO SOMETHING to become that person.

If you feel the need to lie to a woman/man to get them to have sex with you, then you are a worthless piece of shit who isn't mature enough to have sex in the first place.

If you lie to someones face and tell them you are going to do something you have no intention of doing, it will all come right back to you in the end.

They don't say what goes around comes around for no reason.

BoCo

People lie because they think it will get them something they want, whether it's sex, admiration, money, or material goods.

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Activism is a way for useless people to feel important.

Atropos4

karma.....you gotta love it...
who needs revenge when karma exists? sad that even I don't always follow that little saying...

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viejo gringo

Woa, little lady----sounds like there is more to this than
shows here-- this is not like you....and you used the
words lie and sex in the almost the same sentence.....
take a deep breath and back off a little----

I have made it a practice to never lie to people---even
if it hurts---when you lie you only get in deeper and have
to lie more to get your way out...

The_Dude

i guess your urge to mate is stronger than your conscience?

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"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

JadziaDax

I've been lied to more times than I care to think about. It's gotten to the point where I trust no one. People suck that way. Unfortunately, it's become the way things are. People find it easier to lie than to tell the truth. Sure the truth can hurt sometimes, but I'd rather the pain of a truth than of a lie.

Whatever brought about this little rant, Nikki, I hope everything's ok... and let me at the person who lied to you. They'd feel sorry they were ever born.

GuttersnipeXL

It's pretty unfortunate people act this way...how can you trust anyone? Ya know what though...sometimes you got to suck it up and ignore it...it's painfull, yes, but you can't let others get the best of you. Paying any amount of attention to people like this only creaters havoc in your own life. I don't know if this is just a random question for you or not, but it seems like something is up...I think were all here for ya, if needed.

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST

Tophat665

Call me a shit if you will, but I think that truth, particularly as it applies to social interaction, is a much more slippery and ill defined thing than the black and white lie/truth paradigm allows for. There's a lot more shading of truth than outright lying.

That said, when I have lied outright in the past, it has usually turned out alright. It's when I've told more of the truth than was necessary that I've gotten myself in deep water.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

IC3

I don't lie to friends or family...Actually, I have lied to family members..Only cause some of them are idiots and I would be better off not even knowing them...But that's a different story.

I don't lie to get things...I lie to people I don't like, Cause it's fun I guess.

If it makes me an asshole or rude or whatever....Then so be it.

It's the way I am.

gibber71

"Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something."
-- Plato

This is what motivates liars.

Cynthetiq

well we all lie even little ones... like when you don't want to talk to someone on the phone and you tell your SO/kids to say you are busy or not home, your friend's new haircut is just fabu... the list goes on....

I try to be honest as much as I can, and that's all that I can do. I hate having to remember what I lied about... takes waaay to much effort.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

door

man kind lie because it is an exchange- risk of hurting others in exchange for probobility of getting what one wants-

simply put: It is man acting out whats best for them rather than what is right. Happiness over Freedom and rightness.

WhoaitsZ

oh, the patterns we weave. lies are lame.
i have tried _hard_ to live a very, very honest life and am proud to say i do not lie. sometimes it can hurt, too, being honest but life is pain. oh-fuggin-well

the only time I lie is when people ask me stuff that isn't there business at all or people that ask me shit they already know. nothing is funner than knowing someone is trying to manipulate you and you find out, but they don't know you know and you give them false info..
payback's a bitch.

-hug to nikki-

people are evil like that

richeee

I agree with everyone here, especially GSXL. We are here for You, if that means anything.
*****Nikki***** the stars surround You!

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Pas le cri, le coeur de Minx! .... Where can I stare now?.........I did!!!What about You?

GakFace

I don't care to lie.. I mean what if the one time I lie is when I fall in love with someone? Now they like me for the fake part of me that isn't real... I feel that by staying true about myself and staying away from lies, then when I do meet that person, it'll be because of me, not some fake part I made up.

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RoboBlaster:
Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.

bullgoose

If you're talking about men, we lie to get laid; that's a primary driving force for males. I'm going to make two statements : first I never lie; second I'm lying now. Which one is true?
By the way; I really hate liars; they build up your expectations and then shit on your shoes.

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"If I had it to do all over,
I'd do it all over you."

krwlz

people lie yea, but i never trusted anyone...i knew a kid who would fabricate stories on demand, because he thought we would lik ehim if he was entertaining....we all hated him, he was a fuckin dick...

phoenix1002

I think one of the driving forces behind lies is the need/desire to be accepted. I've known people who have made things up in an attempt to fit in, but it never works (at least, not that I've seen). People also lie to get things that they otherwise might not be able to get.

That said, I also think lies are one of the most damaging things to any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise. Discovering that someone close to you has lied to you is like being hit in the crotch.

My friends and I at college have had a sort of game going on constantly for the past year. We occasionally will steal something from another one of our friends, and either make it reappear in an odd place, or wait until they discover its gone. At first, we would deny having it. At first, it was pretty obvious if someone was lying, but eventually some of my friends got pretty good at it, and we couldn't tell. When that started happening, we all decided that we had to stop lying about these things, because it was getting really hard to trust someone who insisted that they did not have something, only to find out later that they did.

Lies, even in a joking context, can still be damaging.

Nikki, I hope you're ok... you seem to have some pretty strong feelings about this one. We're all here for you, if you need us.

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I'd rather be climbing...

I approach college much like a recovering alcoholic--one day at a time...

Angel

I have zero tolerance for people who lie. There is no room in my life for them. Some people say I am honest to a fault. Perhaps this is the case. However, I would rather have people say that than that I am a liar.
Pride, dignity and respect, all encompass honesty.
I am who I am and if you don't like my honesty, this is your problem, let me introduce you to the door...

'Scuse the little mini rant...musta struck a nerve.

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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus

*Nikki*

This is not a personal vendetta.

This is directed at the liars of the world whoever they might be.

Some are here and reading this now. Maybe my words and the words of others will make some difference in their life. Maybe not.

GakFace

Yeah I can relate with that... But then I actually thought about that when I'd do so in 7th grade... and came to the realization... Fuck it, This is me, and thats that...I'd rather be known as the guy true to himself that to be the popular guy, even tho it was one huge lie. I had some reasons to make myself think about this, and now I go on my own, if i don't fit in... oh well, I obvious shouldn't try to in then should I?

billege

Lies are social lubricant.

There are foul intentioned lies that are used to dishonestly get from someone else, what one wants. These are the lies that suck.

Mostly, because if one has been taken in by a lie two things are true: Someone trusted, is not to be; and, one's judgement has been fooled. I don't think anyone likes being made a fool.

There are decent lies. She puts on the outfit she loves, she thinks makes her look absolutely stunning; he doesn't like it. He says he does. If this is a pattern, and he also lies about big things, this is bad. If he is honest when it counts, then (if you get off your horse) then it does not. In the large view, this isn't shit.

I see a lot of people on an honesty trip, and I think it involves some self delusion, or "lying to one's self." Being honest is HARD. I have personally bit some bullets that sucked. I have suffered the consequences of my own actions, through my honesty, when I could have lied and gotten away with it. I know how tough it is to be honest. I honestly (pun!) can say that the vast majority of humanity is too morally weak to be completely honest with themselves, much less the rest of the world.

There are people who create, and maintain, a whole persona they speak about to others. Their actions may not jibe with their words at all, but that is only apparent to others. Are these people lying? No. They have created, and MUST maintain a picture of what they think they are like. In fact, they BELIEVE they really are like they say. So, if one believes it to be true, one is not lying about it. These are some of the saddest people I see, but they don't know it.

You may know someone that speaks boldly about the heroic and manly actions he has taken. Many turn out to be false. Instead of hating him, how many of you could see the lonley, scared, boy with a destroyed self image? Better yet, how many would take the intense amount of effort required to help this "liar?"
If the answer truly was "most people" the world would be a better place.

Most people don't knock down the house of cards someone else has established because they don't want their own knocked down.

Fat chicks think they look skinney, weak guys think they look like a muscle builder. Dumb people think they are brilliant (you know at LEAST one person like this), skinney girls complain about being fat, balding guys do the comb over.

Do you really think you don't lie? Do you wear makeup? I could say that makes you a liar. I'm not seeing even your true face; how could I possibly consider you truthful?

I see a whole thread of many people congradulating themselves on their capacity for telling the truth, no matter what.

Unfortunatly, I think I have to call you liars.

Surely, I'd like to be less cynical, and be more trusting, but then I'd be lying to myself.

Please note, I'm not judging, nor have I implied that these liars I've described are bad people. The person who lies maliciously for personal gain has no excuse. Our society has rules that exist for the betterment of all. The liars I'm describing, myself included, do so out of delusion, lack of bravery, politeness, and confusion.

Lizards can change color to blend into a bush. They lie. They say "I'm not here, I am a leaf." They do it to survive. It is in their very nature.

As it is in ours, as we do to survive.

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I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence:
"My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."

clavus

This thread changed my life.

OK, not really. I'm lying.

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Sun Tzu

I'd love to answer this and give my full input, but doing so in the last TFP created a thread that wasn't plesant at all. I will say this theres something to be said when Billy Joel said "honesty is such a lonely word"
I went to a "self-improvement" retreat in Napa valley to years ago. Its primary focus was on honesty and how we've been trained from very young that its in our interest to always have the right answer (even if that isnt the case) When I got back for three weeks I was tripping my friends, coworkers, family out with using eye contact like they've never experienced (it suprising how much people look away when they're lying, unless they're excellent bullshit artists) I was truthful about everything. . . everything. In my eyes a lie was a lie. Have you ever seen the movie Liar Liar? IMO and from what I experienced people dont react well if they hear the truth in its purest form.

Then it boils down to honor and self truth to yourself. IMO being true to one's self is the only gift thats truely worth anything that a person can give to themself in life. In other words if a friend asked you what you thought about the dress she put her heart and soul into too making to go out with you on the weekend, but in your eyes and opinion its horrid and telling her that may hurt her feelings. One could walk away from that situation or anything like it (stating the real reason you said no to the girl, the real reason for calling in sick whatever) been true to yourself and the universe, but know that a reactionary price may have to be paid. Thus enters the area of being a taker vs being a giver.

An unfamous philosopher once said "If you tell the truth you dont have to remember anything" maybe thats why hes not famous

I still lie; its usually if I dont want to hurt someones feelings, but then it gets into picking and choosing whats an accpetable lie and what isnt; having cooth isnt a factor with honesty; only honesty is. The difference for me now is I really know when I lie. Each and every time I do I feel like a small part of myself dies. That may sound corny to most but its the way I feel. I STRIVE to be as honest as possible.

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To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking

Ashton

World's King

I have no idea what you are talking about?


*eyes shift from side to side*

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Loki

well nikki, how about me then?

i never tell an outright lie, and havent for many years, but what you hear from me isnt always the truth =)

e.g. A friend asked me a few days ago what i thought about his new girlfriend. i replied with "good women are hard to come by." he was satisfied with that answer, even though i gave no personal opinion regarding the matter.

i guess im in between.

MrFlux

imo it depends on who the lie is to and what exactly the lie is.
For example, I don't lie to my girlfriend about anything, and I'm being serious here. She told me she was taking me out this weekend but wouldn't say where and I told her straight out that if she was planning on taking me out to dinner she'd better change plans, because I just took her out to dinner last week. Thankfully that wasn't what she had in mind coz it probably would have upset her a bit, but then again if I hadn't told her and she had taken me out for dinner, she would have seen that I'd rather have done something else for a date and been more upset... and she always gets my honest opinion "Hmm, your hair looks okay but I think it'd be better if you did this..."

On the other hand, there are a lot of people I am not totally honest to. The usual reason for this is it's either something said person doesn't need to know about, or it's something I would tell them about if they didn't give me the idea that something very bad is going to happen if I tell the truth... such as my girlfriend's mum.

Generally most of the time I lie it's to someone I don't trust or seems threatening. I don't lie to my own mother, because she accepts my decisions. Also I don't even have to lie or tell her the truth because she figures things out which means I neither have to confirm nor deny it... which she likes because she's not being lied to and at the same time it gives her deniability, she can just say "I don't know," which is good, because she doesn't like lying either.

On a sidenote my gf rang up while I was typing this and she agreed that she would have been more upset if she'd found out after having taken me out. She adds "Truth is one of the most important parts of a relationship, coz if you can't trust your boyfriend/girlfriend, you're basically screwed."

So there's my 2c on the subject. I lie, but not about certain things or to certain people. Always think of the consequences of your action.

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flux (n.)
Medicine. The discharge of large quantities of fluid material from the body, especially the discharge of watery feces from the intestines.

*Nikki*

I appreciate everyones thoughts and input here.

I read each reply and still I have no insight on dishonesty.

I think that sparing someones feelings with a lie is perhaps one of the worst things you can do.
There is someone that I recently hurt with honesty and though I felt so terrible doing this, I knew it was the right thing in the end.

Lies are something we hide behind when we can't face the person that we really are.

Lovely

SHE-ture meets another creature who does make her writhe
He says all they want to hear, so something isn't right...
So this godlike incarnate of charm is put to test
Findings are: if he's a liar FOOK! He is the best!!!

If this is bad, there is still worse: He's as Hot as Sin.
And he looks like every dream of she-tures became him
She-ture now must make her mind up:Should she have him thrown?
If he's wicked like herself he's threatening her throne.

Whichever, she's an animal, so thinkin' doesn't count.
Her guts tell her to grab this one and put into her mouth.

JadziaDax

And you were right. Dishonesty would have hurt both of you much more than being honest. Lies hurt. That's a fact. Even the white lies we tell to try not to hurt someone. They hurt.

I do my best not to lie. I try to be brutally honest. Some people don't like that about me. But I don't care. I feel better about myself knowing I've told the truth. If it hurts you, I'm sorry. However, you now know where I stand because I've told you the truth. I don't do this to intentionally hurt someone. I do it to avoid even more pain.

spectre

I'm generally too quiet to say everything that I'm thinking, but if you ask me an honest question, you'll get an honest answer. People don't always like that, but if they don't like the answer, they shouldn't have asked the question.

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"Fuck these chains
No goddamn slave
I will be different" ~ Machine Head

Liquor Dealer

To be a good liar you have to have a perfect memory. If you don't have a perfect memory then tell the truth - you don't have to ever worry about what you said before.

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Life isn't always a bowl of cherries, sometimes it's more like a jar of Jalapenos --- what you say or do today might burn your ass tomorrow!!!

Go_AVS

Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies.

I'm a sales guy so there might have been a few white lies here and there but not to people I care about and never anything that would hurt someone.

I just hope everything is okay with you *Nikki*....

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MIA...

Reese

When I was younger (8-13) I would lie all the time. I've made up lies and can still tell details about them 10 years later. It was compulsive but I've grown out of that. Now I try to be honest about everything but sometimes my sense of humor takes over and I make up something but I guess that would be considered a joke and not a lie. Aren't all jokes lies?

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

mongo

I can't lie,it makes my nose grow........But seriously,I do not like to lie.It's not in my nature.I will not say I have never lied because I must be the President then which we all know if a pile of crap.I never lied to a women before to get favors from her or to appear better then I am.I've always been of the thought that if you don't like me for who I really am then too bad.I'm secure enough with myself that I don't need to make me up.Of course before I got married I didn't have very many relationships.I'm kind of shy around women when it comes to such things.People used to tell me,"You're too nice" and the usual crap.I like being nice....screw them...lol...My 2 cents on the issue.

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Mongo like candy

flesheater

I only lie so as to not hurt someone's feelings or to keep a secret.

And to keep from getting in trouble

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Today I...........No, that wasn't me.

Four years ago..............no, it was yesterday.

Sometimes I...No, I don't.

krwlz

my most common lie is this "no i cant come, no really, i cant get out of work..." works every time!

Stroker

Interesting that I stumbled across this thread. I found out yesterday that the one person I thought would never lie to me did, and in a big way. Right now, I'm not sure if I'll ever trust anyone again.
Next time I'm going to ask for a FICO score before I commit to anyone. If your credit history reflects honesty, maybe I'll consider a relationship. It works for the banks, insurance companys etc..

GakFace

Billage.. To Lie is not to be Bad.. To Lie for a malicous reason.. now it is bad. So yes, we're all Liars.. as no one is perfect. But we all strive(most of us on this thread at least) to not use lies when they can be hurtful to others. There are times when a Lie can be a good thing. When i meet one of those times, I don't feel bad for stating the Lie, as the results would have been grave had I stated the truth. (I'm sure i don't need examples.. but "Do I look fat in this?" is not one of them) I cannot judge you when you say people who wear make up are liar, but you can't really call them liars either.. As you don't know what they say.. perhaps its, "With Makeup I look more beautiful." Thus they aren't really lying... Just some food for thought.

--Gak--

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RoboBlaster:
Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.