I am a compulsive liar and want to stop. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

DRP976 · 12-06-2010, 08:29 PM

How to Stop Lying - wikiHow

Whats up, i am a compulsive liar. Ive been lying for the longest time and i want to stop. I find myself lying out of habit 99.9% of the time, its rarely out of spite or to destroy someone. Now ive read all about how to break the habit and i really want to stop so i will do my best to stop being a liar. Who else here lies habitually and how were you able to stop? I know admitting your a liar is the first and most important step and i for one feel guilty yet i keep on lying anyways but i really want to stop. Input is appreciated.

Cliffs:
1. I lie all the time (compulsively, not really out of spite)
2. I admit im a liar and want to break the habit.
3. Any tips/pointers and if you were a compulsive liar as well, how were you able to stop?

Thanks

Willravel · 12-06-2010, 08:47 PM

The kind of lying you do brings you a similar comfort as many other compulsive behaviors, and might suggest that it's a symptom of something else. I eat compulsively because of self-esteem issues going back to my childhood, for example. I probably sound like a broken record, but seeing a licensed therapist would probably be the most helpful step you can take right now.

Best of luck, and honesty is the best policy.

Nepenthes · 12-06-2010, 08:49 PM

My tip would be to have more confidence in yourself.

Another is bit is from Shakespeare,

Quote:

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Xerxys · 12-06-2010, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeremiahIsaiah

... and i for one feel guilty ...

Hehehe, I c wut u did thar. You bullshitter you ...

Besides "trying" to stop, why not just stop? Dude, this planet has 6 billion human beings. No one, and by that I mean NO ONE, cares what you think, feel, ate for dinner ... etc etc etc etc

The people who walk up to you and say, "Oh, you drive a new Corolla? I drive a Prius, FAR more environmentally friendly" then after you get the Prius, "I drive a Buick Lucerne, FAR more Luxurious" are those who want to feel superior to you. So lying that you drive an S class is essentially playing their Patrick Bateman game at 'one-upping' them. Stop trying to do that. You actually sound like a braggart and a jack ass.

Lying to make people feel better is a poor excuse. Many people don't really get their feelings hurt that easily. I tell my friend a lot of times he's fat and he simply tells me to kiss his man flabs and fuck off. This is a dude that isn't fat but is very self conscious. I met a girl that I am very good friends with at mcDonalds when one of her friends was teasing her over her wig that she looked crazy and turned to me whilst in the queue and asked, "doesn't she look crazy?" Of which I replied, "Yes. Yes she does". So, myth debunked. People don't need their feelings spared over mundane things.

Lying to get yourself out of a situation hardly ever works either. There are times to lie and times not to. Before telling a lie think about the possible repercussions that might be in place for someone unintended. Like lying at an accident scene will almost certainly get you in trouble because evidence usually suggests otherwise.

Lying is bad. Plain and simple. Next time just recount facts. Usually stories told are pulled from memories. So just recount facts without embellishing the truth.

Cynthetiq · 12-06-2010, 09:45 PM

Do you also lie to yourself?

DRP976 · 12-06-2010, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

Do you also lie to yourself?

No i dont, i accept my faults and weaknesses and embrace my strengths. I know that im a liar and think bad thoughts, i do feel guilty about lying to my loved ones and friends.

If i come out now to my loved ones/friends and tell em ive been lying to them for the longest time...i could lose them. Would it be so bad if instead of telling them so, i just STOP telling them lies. Before i open my mouth i will remember the guilty feeling i get after lying and instead of lying to them like i normally would, i will tell the truth. You know kinda like how a thief/gangbanger/murderer leaves the "bad life" behind and starts new?

---------- Post added at 10:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:01 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerxys

Hehehe, I c wut u did thar. You bullshitter you ...

Besides "trying" to stop, why not just stop? Dude, this planet has 6 billion human beings. No one, and by that I mean NO ONE, cares what you think, feel, ate for dinner ... etc etc etc etc

The people who walk up to you and say, "Oh, you drive a new Corolla? I drive a Prius, FAR more environmentally friendly" then after you get the Prius, "I drive a Buick Lucerne, FAR more Luxurious" are those who want to feel superior to you. So lying that you drive an S class is essentially playing their Patrick Bateman game at 'one-upping' them. Stop trying to do that. You actually sound like a braggart and a jack ass.

Lying to make people feel better is a poor excuse. Many people don't really get their feelings hurt that easily. I tell my friend a lot of times he's fat and he simply tells me to kiss his man flabs and fuck off. This is a dude that isn't fat but is very self conscious. I met a girl that I am very good friends with at mcDonalds when one of her friends was teasing her over her wig that she looked crazy and turned to me whilst in the queue and asked, "doesn't she look crazy?" Of which I replied, "Yes. Yes she does". So, myth debunked. People don't need their feelings spared over mundane things.

Lying to get yourself out of a situation hardly ever works either. There are times to lie and times not to. Before telling a lie think about the possible repercussions that might be in place for someone unintended. Like lying at an accident scene will almost certainly get you in trouble because evidence usually suggests otherwise.

Lying is bad. Plain and simple. Next time just recount facts. Usually stories told are pulled from memories. So just recount facts without embellishing the truth.

You can call me liar but bragger? Nope, thats not something i do. I just lie out of habit, its not like i feel good/get my jollies off lying to people. Its become so natural as breathing but feel guilty and know i need to stop cause its wrong.

---------- Post added at 10:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:03 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel

The kind of lying you do brings you a similar comfort as many other compulsive behaviors, and might suggest that it's a symptom of something else. I eat compulsively because of self-esteem issues going back to my childhood, for example. I probably sound like a broken record, but seeing a licensed therapist would probably be the most helpful step you can take right now.

Best of luck, and honesty is the best policy.

Thanks for your advice, i used to see a therapist at Kaiser back when i was in elementary/junior high/high school and it felt good. I could pour out my emotions and feelings and get advice/insight. I plan to start seeing one again, once a week would be awesome.

jadangel · 12-07-2010, 06:19 AM

So how can we believe anything you post now? For that matter any post you have posted comes into question now.....hmmm.......

Daniel_ · 12-07-2010, 06:40 AM

Sounds like you need a 12 step group of some sort.

There was a Liars Anon group near me, but they never met where they said they would..... (i thank you)....

jewels · 12-07-2010, 07:51 AM

I had (key word HAD) a friend like that once. It's true that lies foster more lies and before long you'll bury yourself.

So if it's a habit, break it like any other. Catch yourself three times and stop the insanity. You'll have begun a new habit to replace it. (Okay, so maybe three times won't be enough, but just keep it going.)

Ourcrazymodern? · 12-07-2010, 08:21 AM

If it isn't a lie that you lie 99.9% of the time, it's a remarkable skill. You could run what you were about to say back through your filter again & see if that makes it nearer to the truth.

DRP976 · 12-07-2010, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewels

I had (key word HAD) a friend like that once. It's true that lies foster more lies and before long you'll bury yourself.

So if it's a habit, break it like any other. Catch yourself three times and stop the insanity. You'll have begun a new habit to replace it. (Okay, so maybe three times won't be enough, but just keep it going.)

Thanks jewels, imo its all just the willpower and the want to break the bad habit. Im gonna do it. Im sick of lying already...i dont want to be this way.

Fremen · 12-07-2010, 06:47 PM

Let's have an example of your lying.
I want to see how believable it is.

kramus · 12-07-2010, 07:11 PM

You may be surprised at how many folks around you actually are on to at least some of the fabrications/exaggerations you are prone to. People may not confront you because they think you are getting something from your habit that is important to you. And there may be a number of acquaintances of yours that discount most of what you say while politely acting to your face as if they believe you merely to keep the peace. I've worked with a few folks who were chronic liars. In the end it was nice when they moved on because it's a pain automatically thinking most of what a particular person says is BS.

I stopped smoking after 20+ years. It actually would be easy to take up again, but I don't want to put a deal breaker like that in the way of the best thing that has ever happened to me (my current SO). It wasn't easy, but one thing I did was make a lot of little decisions to not smoke. Those decisions have added up to 5 years of not smoking now. I wasn't worried about having an occasional cigarette when I first stopped because it was just one decision, not a complete failure of a program.

What I'm saying is, work on making little decisions when you think about interactions or conversations you may have. A little decision to not embroider your conversation or make stuff up. Just talk. If you feed someone a line, I would suggest you also develop some sort of policy or response to your lying. Perhaps a combination of a disclaimer (light in tone, maybe a minor joke) saying you are in recovery from a chronic case of the deceptions, and would now like to tell it like it really is.

Apparently some folks have self esteem issues when it comes to chronic lying as an adult. Demonstrating some sort of superiority over others, or evading responsibility for one reason or another. So if you work on self-honesty, cutting the bullshit within yourself so that you accept things the way they are and accept that other people can handle you the way you are, you will be doing yourself a real service.

Again, white lies are part of a social oil that go along with polite discourse and the respect you ought to automatically give others. This is Golden Rule stuff - do unto others. Chronic lies for no apparent reason are different, and more damaging.

Good luck.

bagatelle · 12-08-2010, 02:02 AM

^^ I like the reply above. As an example I give you my mother.

She worked in the food store in a small village, so she knew almost everyone. She enjoyed very much being known and socializing, but she sort of took us kids granted. I never had any real discussions with her, she heard what was going on in school from other kids or their parents, who came to the store, not directly from me, but that wouldn't stop her from talking about me to the customers as if she knew what my opinions and thoughts were. She was fabricating another kind of life with her stories than what I felt like I was living in.

She would have had ambitions to become a teacher, but at the time her family was not wealthy enough to provide the education. Maybe if she could have directed her talents to something more fulfilling, she wouldn't have had that much need to pretend her life wasn't exactly what she had wished for.

Anyway, this has bothered me and my brother a lot, so we don't really give her much information. As she tends to turn it to something else in the end or expose our lives to others in a way we wouldn't want to. I suppose mothers are prone to doing that though.

Little decisions sounds a good advice. Some people can quit habits 'cold turkey', but some self-control could work as well. If the problem is, that one lies when responding to someone, maybe they should think first and realize, they don't always have to come up with something to say.

Maybe writing stories could be one solution? You could fabricate as much as you want to.

Jove · 12-08-2010, 06:53 AM

I recommend seeking a sales position. Excellent way to use your abilities.

DRP976 · 12-08-2010, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fremen

Let's have an example of your lying.
I want to see how believable it is.

Okay here are some examples:

(Friend calls me up on my cell phone)

Kristina: Hey whats up?
Me: Nothing much, you?
Kristina: Same, you wanna get some food?
Me: Oh, like what kind?
Kristina: I dunnno...what do you want to eat?
Me: Anything low in calories...im watching my weight. (this is a lie, im not watching my weight cause im already at idea body weight)
Kristina: Oh gosh...pshh Panda Express?
Me: Ummm..yeah sure thats cool.
Kristina: Okay you wanna meet me there or i pick you up?
Me:Ill meet you there.

Another example:
Max: Hey how much did you pay for your J's racing knob?
Me: Oh i got it as a present from my brother. (this is a lie...i bought it myself)
Max: Oh luck bastard.
Me: Hehe yeah i know.

Another example:
brother: Hey kiddo, you free this Saturday?
Me: Hey kuya, im going to a friend's birthday party. (this is a lie, i like my brother but i just dont feel like hanging out....just wanna chill at home)
brother: Oh man you suck.
Me: Yeah man.
brother: Thats cool, well hang out another time.

Another example:
Jason: Yo whats up mang?
Me: Not much homie, whats up with you?
Jason: same old shit.
Me: Ditto
Jason: Whats your plans for this weekend?
Me: Im going to half moon bay for fish & chips with my girlfriend. (this is a lie, i dont have a girlfriend however i am going to half moon bay for fish & chips)
Jason: Aww shiat, thats cool dawg. I was hoping we could kick it, ya know slump on them fools at the mall.
Me: Next time breh, i gotta spend time with my girl.
Jason: For show mang, spend time with your lady. Ima holla at you later.
Me: Show nuff, holla back!
Jason: Aiight, later breh.

---------- Post added at 07:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:28 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by kramus

You may be surprised at how many folks around you actually are on to at least some of the fabrications/exaggerations you are prone to. People may not confront you because they think you are getting something from your habit that is important to you. And there may be a number of acquaintances of yours that discount most of what you say while politely acting to your face as if they believe you merely to keep the peace. I've worked with a few folks who were chronic liars. In the end it was nice when they moved on because it's a pain automatically thinking most of what a particular person says is BS.

I stopped smoking after 20+ years. It actually would be easy to take up again, but I don't want to put a deal breaker like that in the way of the best thing that has ever happened to me (my current SO). It wasn't easy, but one thing I did was make a lot of little decisions to not smoke. Those decisions have added up to 5 years of not smoking now. I wasn't worried about having an occasional cigarette when I first stopped because it was just one decision, not a complete failure of a program.

What I'm saying is, work on making little decisions when you think about interactions or conversations you may have. A little decision to not embroider your conversation or make stuff up. Just talk. If you feed someone a line, I would suggest you also develop some sort of policy or response to your lying. Perhaps a combination of a disclaimer (light in tone, maybe a minor joke) saying you are in recovery from a chronic case of the deceptions, and would now like to tell it like it really is.

Apparently some folks have self esteem issues when it comes to chronic lying as an adult. Demonstrating some sort of superiority over others, or evading responsibility for one reason or another. So if you work on self-honesty, cutting the bullshit within yourself so that you accept things the way they are and accept that other people can handle you the way you are, you will be doing yourself a real service.

Again, white lies are part of a social oil that go along with polite discourse and the respect you ought to automatically give others. This is Golden Rule stuff - do unto others. Chronic lies for no apparent reason are different, and more damaging.

Good luck.

Read this all and taken to heart, one of the best posts in this thread. Thanks for your advice/input.

---------- Post added at 07:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:31 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by bagatelle

^^ I like the reply above. As an example I give you my mother.

She worked in the food store in a small village, so she knew almost everyone. She enjoyed very much being known and socializing, but she sort of took us kids granted. I never had any real discussions with her, she heard what was going on in school from other kids or their parents, who came to the store, not directly from me, but that wouldn't stop her from talking about me to the customers as if she knew what my opinions and thoughts were. She was fabricating another kind of life with her stories than what I felt like I was living in.

She would have had ambitions to become a teacher, but at the time her family was not wealthy enough to provide the education. Maybe if she could have directed her talents to something more fulfilling, she wouldn't have had that much need to pretend her life wasn't exactly what she had wished for.

Anyway, this has bothered me and my brother a lot, so we don't really give her much information. As she tends to turn it to something else in the end or expose our lives to others in a way we wouldn't want to. I suppose mothers are prone to doing that though.

Little decisions sounds a good advice. Some people can quit habits 'cold turkey', but some self-control could work as well. If the problem is, that one lies when responding to someone, maybe they should think first and realize, they don't always have to come up with something to say.

Maybe writing stories could be one solution? You could fabricate as much as you want to.

You know thats not a bad idea..this might sound funky but before i enter a situation, i play it out in my head kinda like a lucid dream where you can control and manipulate the environment. I do this quickly like its all sped up like when you fast forward a videotape and then i proceed into the situation expelling the truth. The writing stories sounds good, i can definately see myself doing that and i feel it would help.

---------- Post added at 07:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:33 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jove

I recommend seeking a sales position. Excellent way to use your abilities.

^ lol

Cynthetiq · 12-08-2010, 07:39 PM

why would you lie to your kuya? ay na man.

DRP976 · 12-08-2010, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

why would you lie to your kuya? ay na man.

your Filipino?! lol

I know man, i feel bad about it but technically thats a white lie though.

Willravel · 12-08-2010, 07:51 PM

Hindi ako nagasalita nang Tagalog!

DRP976 · 12-08-2010, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel

Hindi ako nagasalita nang Tagalog!

You just did! lol

I can understand tagalog and kinda speak it (enough to get by at least)

jewels · 12-09-2010, 07:27 AM

If those lies are a true representation, I'd call them embellishments. There is a difference.

Stretching the truth is more like you're daydreaming out loud and finding a way to make things sound more interesting than they really are. Call me crazy, but I've said similar things at times. It's easier to come up with a short white lie (excuse) than to bother going into the gory details.

That being said, I won't do it to good friends and people I love. They deserve the truth. But sometimes I don't want acquaintances knowing everything that goes on in my life.

DRP976 · 12-09-2010, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewels

If those lies are a true representation, I'd call them embellishments. There is a difference.

Stretching the truth is more like you're daydreaming out loud and finding a way to make things sound more interesting than they really are. Call me crazy, but I've said similar things at times. It's easier to come up with a short white lie (excuse) than to bother going into the gory details.

That being said, I won't do it to good friends and people I love. They deserve the truth. But sometimes I don't want acquaintances knowing everything that goes on in my life.

^Yeah i agree, although ive done it to good friends and family. If i dont wanna hang out ill just say so.

Cynthetiq · 12-09-2010, 08:17 AM

why do you need to embellish that you have a girlfriend?

what is the need to present yourself differently than who you are? Are you not comfortable being who you are 100%?

to me these small things point to that you aren't comfortable enough to be honest 100% for whatever reason however small it may be.

Don't want to hang out so you use a birthday party to deflect the scrutiny that you want to stay at home.

the girlfriend, don't want to show you don't have one? or that you are more caring because you say you have to spend time with her?

jewels · 12-09-2010, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeremiahIsaiah

^Yeah i agree, although ive done it to good friends and family. If i dont wanna hang out ill just say so.

That is a little different. I agree with cyn. Ask yourself the questions he's posed. Is it possible that you don't feel you meet what you perceive as your family's expectations, or is it something that pops out of your mouth without any conscious thought?

nabbers · 12-09-2010, 02:38 PM

Hmm try living a lie! Make up a lie and then actually make it become the truth! So for instance point to a beautiful woman and tell your friends "that's my girlfriend" then get your skates on by making that gal yours!

You may have to lie to your new girl friend, but you can overcome that later!

Lying is fun, it's fiction, fiction is fun! Truth is boring!

12-06-2010, 08:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
DRP976 Tilted Location: California	I am a compulsive liar and want to stop. How to Stop Lying - wikiHow Whats up, i am a compulsive liar. Ive been lying for the longest time and i want to stop. I find myself lying out of habit 99.9% of the time, its rarely out of spite or to destroy someone. Now ive read all about how to break the habit and i really want to stop so i will do my best to stop being a liar. Who else here lies habitually and how were you able to stop? I know admitting your a liar is the first and most important step and i for one feel guilty yet i keep on lying anyways but i really want to stop. Input is appreciated. Cliffs: 1. I lie all the time (compulsively, not really out of spite) 2. I admit im a liar and want to break the habit. 3. Any tips/pointers and if you were a compulsive liar as well, how were you able to stop? Thanks

12-06-2010, 09:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	Do you also lie to yourself? __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

12-07-2010, 06:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	Sounds like you need a 12 step group of some sort. There was a Liars Anon group near me, but they never met where they said they would..... (i thank you).... __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

12-07-2010, 07:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	I had (key word HAD) a friend like that once. It's true that lies foster more lies and before long you'll bury yourself. So if it's a habit, break it like any other. Catch yourself three times and stop the insanity. You'll have begun a new habit to replace it. (Okay, so maybe three times won't be enough, but just keep it going.) __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

12-07-2010, 08:21 AM	#10 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	If it isn't a lie that you lie 99.9% of the time, it's a remarkable skill. You could run what you were about to say back through your filter again & see if that makes it nearer to the truth. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

12-06-2010, 08:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	The kind of lying you do brings you a similar comfort as many other compulsive behaviors, and might suggest that it's a symptom of something else. I eat compulsively because of self-esteem issues going back to my childhood, for example. I probably sound like a broken record, but seeing a licensed therapist would probably be the most helpful step you can take right now. Best of luck, and honesty is the best policy.

12-07-2010, 06:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
jadangel Upright Location: Backwoods, Ky	So how can we believe anything you post now? For that matter any post you have posted comes into question now.....hmmm.......

12-07-2010, 06:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Let's have an example of your lying. I want to see how believable it is. __________________ Google

12-07-2010, 07:11 PM	#13 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	You may be surprised at how many folks around you actually are on to at least some of the fabrications/exaggerations you are prone to. People may not confront you because they think you are getting something from your habit that is important to you. And there may be a number of acquaintances of yours that discount most of what you say while politely acting to your face as if they believe you merely to keep the peace. I've worked with a few folks who were chronic liars. In the end it was nice when they moved on because it's a pain automatically thinking most of what a particular person says is BS. I stopped smoking after 20+ years. It actually would be easy to take up again, but I don't want to put a deal breaker like that in the way of the best thing that has ever happened to me (my current SO). It wasn't easy, but one thing I did was make a lot of little decisions to not smoke. Those decisions have added up to 5 years of not smoking now. I wasn't worried about having an occasional cigarette when I first stopped because it was just one decision, not a complete failure of a program. What I'm saying is, work on making little decisions when you think about interactions or conversations you may have. A little decision to not embroider your conversation or make stuff up. Just talk. If you feed someone a line, I would suggest you also develop some sort of policy or response to your lying. Perhaps a combination of a disclaimer (light in tone, maybe a minor joke) saying you are in recovery from a chronic case of the deceptions, and would now like to tell it like it really is. Apparently some folks have self esteem issues when it comes to chronic lying as an adult. Demonstrating some sort of superiority over others, or evading responsibility for one reason or another. So if you work on self-honesty, cutting the bullshit within yourself so that you accept things the way they are and accept that other people can handle you the way you are, you will be doing yourself a real service. Again, white lies are part of a social oil that go along with polite discourse and the respect you ought to automatically give others. This is Golden Rule stuff - do unto others. Chronic lies for no apparent reason are different, and more damaging. Good luck. __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

12-08-2010, 02:02 AM	#14 (permalink)
bagatelle Psycho Location: Europe	^^ I like the reply above. As an example I give you my mother. She worked in the food store in a small village, so she knew almost everyone. She enjoyed very much being known and socializing, but she sort of took us kids granted. I never had any real discussions with her, she heard what was going on in school from other kids or their parents, who came to the store, not directly from me, but that wouldn't stop her from talking about me to the customers as if she knew what my opinions and thoughts were. She was fabricating another kind of life with her stories than what I felt like I was living in. She would have had ambitions to become a teacher, but at the time her family was not wealthy enough to provide the education. Maybe if she could have directed her talents to something more fulfilling, she wouldn't have had that much need to pretend her life wasn't exactly what she had wished for. Anyway, this has bothered me and my brother a lot, so we don't really give her much information. As she tends to turn it to something else in the end or expose our lives to others in a way we wouldn't want to. I suppose mothers are prone to doing that though. Little decisions sounds a good advice. Some people can quit habits 'cold turkey', but some self-control could work as well. If the problem is, that one lies when responding to someone, maybe they should think first and realize, they don't always have to come up with something to say. Maybe writing stories could be one solution? You could fabricate as much as you want to.

12-08-2010, 06:53 AM	#15 (permalink)
Jove Groovy Hipster Nerd Location: Michigan	I recommend seeking a sales position. Excellent way to use your abilities.

12-08-2010, 07:39 PM	#17 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	why would you lie to your kuya? ay na man. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

12-08-2010, 07:51 PM	#19 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Hindi ako nagasalita nang Tagalog!

12-09-2010, 07:27 AM	#21 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	If those lies are a true representation, I'd call them embellishments. There is a difference. Stretching the truth is more like you're daydreaming out loud and finding a way to make things sound more interesting than they really are. Call me crazy, but I've said similar things at times. It's easier to come up with a short white lie (excuse) than to bother going into the gory details. That being said, I won't do it to good friends and people I love. They deserve the truth. But sometimes I don't want acquaintances knowing everything that goes on in my life. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

12-09-2010, 08:17 AM	#23 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	why do you need to embellish that you have a girlfriend? what is the need to present yourself differently than who you are? Are you not comfortable being who you are 100%? to me these small things point to that you aren't comfortable enough to be honest 100% for whatever reason however small it may be. Don't want to hang out so you use a birthday party to deflect the scrutiny that you want to stay at home. the girlfriend, don't want to show you don't have one? or that you are more caring because you say you have to spend time with her? __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

12-09-2010, 02:38 PM	#25 (permalink)
nabbers Upright	Hmm try living a lie! Make up a lie and then actually make it become the truth! So for instance point to a beautiful woman and tell your friends "that's my girlfriend" then get your skates on by making that gal yours! You may have to lie to your new girl friend, but you can overcome that later! Lying is fun, it's fiction, fiction is fun! Truth is boring!