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kramus · 12-07-2010, 07:11 PM

You may be surprised at how many folks around you actually are on to at least some of the fabrications/exaggerations you are prone to. People may not confront you because they think you are getting something from your habit that is important to you. And there may be a number of acquaintances of yours that discount most of what you say while politely acting to your face as if they believe you merely to keep the peace. I've worked with a few folks who were chronic liars. In the end it was nice when they moved on because it's a pain automatically thinking most of what a particular person says is BS.

I stopped smoking after 20+ years. It actually would be easy to take up again, but I don't want to put a deal breaker like that in the way of the best thing that has ever happened to me (my current SO). It wasn't easy, but one thing I did was make a lot of little decisions to not smoke. Those decisions have added up to 5 years of not smoking now. I wasn't worried about having an occasional cigarette when I first stopped because it was just one decision, not a complete failure of a program.

What I'm saying is, work on making little decisions when you think about interactions or conversations you may have. A little decision to not embroider your conversation or make stuff up. Just talk. If you feed someone a line, I would suggest you also develop some sort of policy or response to your lying. Perhaps a combination of a disclaimer (light in tone, maybe a minor joke) saying you are in recovery from a chronic case of the deceptions, and would now like to tell it like it really is.

Apparently some folks have self esteem issues when it comes to chronic lying as an adult. Demonstrating some sort of superiority over others, or evading responsibility for one reason or another. So if you work on self-honesty, cutting the bullshit within yourself so that you accept things the way they are and accept that other people can handle you the way you are, you will be doing yourself a real service.

Again, white lies are part of a social oil that go along with polite discourse and the respect you ought to automatically give others. This is Golden Rule stuff - do unto others. Chronic lies for no apparent reason are different, and more damaging.

Good luck.

12-07-2010, 07:11 PM	#13 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	You may be surprised at how many folks around you actually are on to at least some of the fabrications/exaggerations you are prone to. People may not confront you because they think you are getting something from your habit that is important to you. And there may be a number of acquaintances of yours that discount most of what you say while politely acting to your face as if they believe you merely to keep the peace. I've worked with a few folks who were chronic liars. In the end it was nice when they moved on because it's a pain automatically thinking most of what a particular person says is BS. I stopped smoking after 20+ years. It actually would be easy to take up again, but I don't want to put a deal breaker like that in the way of the best thing that has ever happened to me (my current SO). It wasn't easy, but one thing I did was make a lot of little decisions to not smoke. Those decisions have added up to 5 years of not smoking now. I wasn't worried about having an occasional cigarette when I first stopped because it was just one decision, not a complete failure of a program. What I'm saying is, work on making little decisions when you think about interactions or conversations you may have. A little decision to not embroider your conversation or make stuff up. Just talk. If you feed someone a line, I would suggest you also develop some sort of policy or response to your lying. Perhaps a combination of a disclaimer (light in tone, maybe a minor joke) saying you are in recovery from a chronic case of the deceptions, and would now like to tell it like it really is. Apparently some folks have self esteem issues when it comes to chronic lying as an adult. Demonstrating some sort of superiority over others, or evading responsibility for one reason or another. So if you work on self-honesty, cutting the bullshit within yourself so that you accept things the way they are and accept that other people can handle you the way you are, you will be doing yourself a real service. Again, white lies are part of a social oil that go along with polite discourse and the respect you ought to automatically give others. This is Golden Rule stuff - do unto others. Chronic lies for no apparent reason are different, and more damaging. Good luck. __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca