ring

Children do say the darndest things.
All you parents, siblings, aunties, uncles, grandparents, friends of
child-like wonder, I ask you to share.

My cousin could not wrap his tongue around his sisters name Elizabeth.
She has since been known as 'lizard breath'

I was 7 years old and my mother kept telling me to behave. I announced
to her that I was ' bein have'

I have a friend who could not figure out for the longest time what his
daughter meant when she screeched about 'arm bubbles'
(turns out she was freaked by armidillos)

This is fun.

jewels

I remember my first daughter's pre-school Christmas Pageant. She was so excited to be singing a solo of Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer. She came home so full of pride, wanting to sing it to me "... then one froggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say ... " She was a hit in the show!

We never corrected her because we thought it was so damned cute. She would always let us know when she looked out her window and saw it was froggy outside. At least 'til she was maybe 6 or 7.

djtestudo

My sister's best friend growing up used to say "bein' have" all the time. We still joke about it today.

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"Final thought: I just rented Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Frankly, it was the worst sports movie I've ever seen."
--Peter Schmuck, The (Baltimore) Sun

ngdawg

Trying to get my baby brother to know how to spell his name:

Us older siblings: "P"
Him: "P"
Us: "A"
Him: "A"
Us: "U"
Him: "Me"

Willravel

Papa Willravel, circa 1986: "William, Christmas is coming!"
Willravel: "Does it have legs?"

*Nikki*

Well my daughter can only say a few words being that she is only 11 months but she did something pretty funny today.

They were cutting down a large tree in the neighbors yard and all we heard was chainsaws, really loud, all day long.

So my daughter was crawling around going "RRRRRR" "RRRRRRR" every time the chainsaw would fire up. She sounded just like it!! It was so cute.

Eweser

I think this one is pretty common: when I was younger (~5-6) I couldn't say cinnamon so I said cimanin (cimmanim?)....

My mom would tell my brother to quit talking like a baby and he's say "Okay" in the deepest voice he could manage...

My brother and I were swimming at the lake with a bunch of my cousins and it started to rain. He started yelling at me to "get outta the water, you're gonna get wet"...

I thought of some my sister said:

When she was just starting to speak, she would sing Toby Keith's "Getcha Some" and Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman"

At about the same time, when my mom would get ready to go shopping she'd say "Got list, got purse, got keys....", so after a while my sis would say "got list, got purse, got keys..." whenever they would get ready to go somewhere.

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"Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

squeeeb

in the summer, my daughter who was sweating behind her knees told us her legpits were sweaty.

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onward to mayhem!

TotalMILF

Upon seeing me change my son's diaper my friend's 3-year-old little girl says, "Mommy, he's different..." (whispering and pointing) "...down there."

A few minutes later he's chasing her down, trying to give her a hug. She's screaming, "Get off of meeeeeeeee!!!!!! You have cooties!!!!"

Again, changing Pookie's diaper. He points down and says "Penis!" then points to my crotch and says, "Penis!" I say, "No, honey, Mommies don't have penises, they have vaginas." He spent the next 10 minutes chanting "Va-China! Va-China! Va-China!" How cute.

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"I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

squeeeb

kids are lucky. when i chant that, i get slapped.

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onward to mayhem!

Redlemon

At 3 years old, my son called elevators "alligators". Also, he wanted to go out to eat at the "restanaut" (rhymes with "astronaut").

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

stevie667

My sister always used to call the pharmacy the paramackey.

Then again i called my dad woger for years, bloody r's.

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Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

Siege

I couldn't pronounce the interdental fricative ("th" sound) for the longest time. So i used the labiodental fricative ("f" sound) to replace it.

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"Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek"

--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find

savmesom11

When my little sister (now 26) was about 9 yrs old she spent a week asking my mom if she could go get the mail. Each day not thinking of it my mother sent her to the box to bring back the mail. At the end of the week my lil sis was pouting on the front stoop and I asked her what was wrong. She replied my period still hasn't come. I said what?!?!?! She said: I have been checking the mail all week and my period still hasn't come yet, I’m never gonna get it.

Turns out she had heard us older girls say things like: My period should be here any day now, so she naturally assumed that her period would be delivered in the mail. Ahhhh the innocence of children!


Awesome! I'm gonna use that.

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* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

streak_56

I could never pronounce grandma.... so I'd say namma

Also, when my brother got meningitis, and he was learning how to speak again, he got fire truck confused with... well...

Illuminaire

When I was little, I couldn't say "tr." I replaced it with "fr." This lead to to some interesting situations for my parents when I wanted to scream about a "truck" at the top of my lungs.

My mom still gives me a hard time about it to this day.

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"Noteable and witty quotes go here."

james t kirk

I don't know if this is true or not, but, I remember getting this email once about a mother and her 5 year old daughter who were waiting in line at a bank.

The kid was getting all cranky and wanted to go and the mother was getting exasperated with the child to the point where the mother threatened her with something like, "if you don't behave yourself, we're not going for ice cream, instead you're going home to bed"

To which the 5 year old put her hands on her hips and shouted back at the mother, "well then, I'm to going to tell grandma that I saw you kissing daddy's pee pee yesterday"

The mother apparently turns beet red and grabs the kid and drags her out of the bank to peels of laughter from the tellers.

casual user

i'm 22 and i still say stupid shit

analog

What an odd thread. People are censoring themselves when recalling accidental utterances from their youth.

How very puritanical of you. *shudders*

ItWasMe

Ok. One not quite so pure.

About 3 weeks ago. Hubby and I climbed out of bed and got dressed after our nice 'nap.' I looked up to see our 8 year old daughter standing in the doorway, looking her eyes so wide I was sure her eyeballs would pop out. I was hoping she was just shocked that she walked in on us dressing...that she hadn't actually witnessed our "nap."

Later in the evening, she asked me casually, "Mom, why do dogs hump? I mean, are they counting the babies with each hump?"

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

World's King

Hickalopter = Helicopter

Pedalestrian = Pedestrian


And I still say 'em that way to this day...

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

ItWasMe

I said bisketti for spaghetti.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

laconic1

I always said tomato for tornado when I was a kid.

ring

My cousin called farts..plitters.

glasscutter43

hockey doctor = helicopter

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Book 'em Danno

Jezzabelle

My sister couldn't say the L's very well so when I was born she just called me Ona, my family still calls me that to this day and I'm 24.

My nephew doesn't say R's at the end of words so he has Tractie's instead of tractors and we go to the Rivey instead of River. It's so darn cute!

ThatJohnGuy

My two year old decided it would be fun to yell out Cah Cah in the middle of the restaurant. That was fun.

lktknow

Mother and cute little daughter after church service going through the line shaking the preachers hand, Preacher says to daughter, "What a pretty dress you have on" daughter says, "yeah, but mommy says it's a bitch to iron".

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Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. ~

SecretMethod70

I was about 9 years old and my brothers were about 18 and 20. The 18 year old brother had been dating his girlfriend (and now ex-wife) for about a year at that time, and she was tall, thin, blonde, and a swimmer. The 20 year old was in a relatively new relationship with what is now his wife. She was short and somewhat overweight. So, he brings her home for dinner with my parents for the first time and I, being the stupid nine year old I was, say "she's not as pretty as (insert 18 year old's girlfriend's name here)."

Honestly, I don't remember saying this at all, but everyone else tells me that I did so I must have. I'm pretty sure they've gotten over it, but my brother still teases me about it occasionally. At least, I hope it's just teasing!

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Gebbinn

we go to the emergency room at the hopsicle
My mom is known as MiMiDee because the oldest granddaughter (my niece) couldnt say gramma dee

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There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand Binary and those who dont.
I aim to please.. to bad for you I am a horrible shot.
Every time you open your mouth, stupid comes out.

Punk.of.Ages

Me running through the grocery store at 3 or so: "I want ass cream!"

I truly wanted ice cream...

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Fremen

As told to us by my mom...
My brother and I (who's a year older than me) were 3 and 4 when we were told by our mom that our penises were called "pickles", after we became fascinated by them one day.
We'd run around just saying "pickle this, pickle that", while usually naked.

One day in church, we were about to fall asleep from boredom, when the pastor starts talking about the Summer picnic coming up.
He mentions the different foods he's looking forward to, and when he gets to pickles, my brother and I perk right up!
We look like we're taking a breath to shout out about our favorite thing in the world.
Our parents each clamped a mouth just in time.

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Grasshopper Green

My son use to call a helicopter a "woolahopter". Funny as hell.

Just the other day I was talking to my husband about work and he was listening in. After I stopped talking to my husband, he asked me what a "pubicle" is.

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

squeeeb

when my daughter was wee, it was a hot summer, she was sitting in the car, the skin behind her knees was hot, and she said "my leg pits are sweaty."

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onward to mayhem!

Shaindra

My four-year old son comes up to me and says, "Mama, do you know what I'm doing when you're not looking?"
"No, I don't know what you're doing when I'm not looking."
"I'm doing *this*!" And he proceeds to manipulate his junk with great dexterity and enthusiasm to the point I was afraid he'd pull it off.

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"Never regret something that once made you smile."

inBOIL

Shaindra, I laughed so hard tears streamed down my face.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Redlemon

My friend's son was having trouble with certain consonants, but enjoyed reading out loud. He loved "big vehicle" books, which contained a lot of dumptrucks. Now, the word "dumptruck" can be a problem if your 'tr's come out as 'f's, and the 'p' gets missed entirely.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

alicat

When I was 14 and quite shy, I was sitting on the front porch with my new, first boyfriend. My little sister was 9 and to this day doesn't know why she did this except probably just to be a brat. She opened her bedroom window, yelled "Ali uses tampons!!", and slammed it back shut. I'm not much of a blusher but I'm sure I looked like a lobster at that moment and wanted to kill her for much longer! It's funny to us now.

Shaindra, your post about your son and his junk instantly brought to mind comedian Jo Koy and his bit about his son's "Ting Ting". It's one of the funniest bit's I've ever seen (hell, that whole show is hilarious!).

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'Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun, The frumious Bandersnatch!'--Jabberwocky, Lewis Carroll

"You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

invalidiuser

My four year old would instead of saying gatorade. He'd say graygray. Thought that was cute.

Ourcrazymodern?

Starbuck might always be known as E E in and near my former house.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT