Dewayne2

Hi. Long time reader, first time poster.

I found this in a fitness forum.

A guy, 22, wants to have sex with a girl who's 16. I'm the dad of a 1 year old daughter. I am worried about her enough as it is, but I cant think of how much I'd worry about this if this was my daughter. I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry? What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

[mod note: link removed]

shakran

Which situation precisely - - -he WANTS to have sex with my daughter, or he HAS had sex with my daughter. If it's the latter, I'd press statutory rape charges against him. If it's the former I'd make it very clear why this was a bad idea, and I'd file for a restraining order against him. Yeah, my hypothetical daughter would probably hate me for a whole month, but at least she wouldn't be screwing up like that.

Baraka_Guru

Statutory rape charges might be difficult, depending on where you are. On the other hand, according to a rule of thumb*, he should wait two years.


*[Age] / 2 +7

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Willravel

From a biological standpoint, it's natural. From a psychological stand point, it can be natural. From a legal standpoint, it's forbidden. Anger? I'm not sure I can say anything but what I feel about it. I can hardly fault someone for their emotional reaction to something.

For me, it would be a question of whether the 22 year old would be taking advantage of the 16 year old. My first experience was at 13, and I used a condom and became sexually active after that. By the time I was 16, I was a fully responsible sexually active teen that was more than capable of making reasonable decisions about sex. Considering that many state that young women are more mature than young men, it's entirely possible that a 16 year old girl could be ready. As for the average 22 year old and 16 year old, the law is the law. While it may be natural, and while they may both be ready, breaking the law is inadvisable. If my daughter were 16 and wanted to have sex with a 22 year old, I would tell her to wait until she was 18, and to think about the situation dispassionately.

pig

the blog thing already stated that the girl is 16, and that in ontario that's legal. i'm not mad about this at all - it happens everyday, i'm sure. just worry about your little girl, or your niece or etc, and help her make wise informed decisions. that's about all you can do.

is this spam or something? seems like a lot of pick-up artist threads / mentions around here recently.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

JumpinJesus

Yeah, I'm starting to get a little creeped out by the amount of "how to pick up girls/ sex with kids" threads there have been lately.

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

Hyacinthe

16 is the legal age of consent here so no if it was here no you would not have the right to be any more angry then if your daughter was 17 - 18 - 19 and a guy wanted to get in her pants

Reading his side of the argument she knew he was trying to pick them up he was somewhat aggressive about it

She knew the score and made a conscious decision to give him her number after he said he doesn't have pen and paper or a mobile.

If she's decided to go out and have sex she will - least the 22 yr old might be experienced enough to make sure she enjoys it.

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

Willravel

Oh, it's in Canada? Then the legal thing isn't an issue. It's just a matter of how mature they both are.

analog

If 16 is the legal age of consent where you are, then I'm not sure where the concern is... it doesn't seem like you are concerned with the lower limit of the law, just that a teenage female is having sex.

I think you're just the new dad of a daughter and starting to freak out over what that's going to mean to you in about 15 years.

shesus

When it is your child, no age is appropriate and no partner is worthy enough. Accept that now and realize that your daughter will make her own choices and you won't be able to do much about it.

I don't think anger is the right emotion.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

Jenna

No, I was having sex with 20 year olds when I was 16.

Although, I've always been mature for my age. All of my friends were over 18.

Bill O'Rights

And...don't think for one moment that it's not valued. I, for one, tend to gain a lot of perspective by listening to you "kids".

But, bear in mind that you are looking at from the perspective of a 19 year old girl. You're only 3 years out. Give it another...oh, say 25 years. Take another look from a different perspective, and see if your views don't do a massive shift.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

telekinetic

I only entered this thread to post that equation. Technically, however, he'd have to wait four years to date that particular girl, unless what you meant to say is he should date someone 2 years older. In two years, he'd be 24, putting his limit at (24/2+7=) 19, and she'd still only be 18. At 26, his rule of thumb and her age finally converge at 20.

blahblah454

I am 22 and I would never have sex with a 16 year old. I pretty much tend to avoid everyone from high school like the plague. since I turned 20 I have yet to find a single mature person from high school, sure they all think they are but are they actually?

So from the standpoint of a 22 year old, not a chance. I might look at some 16 year olds with desire, but as far as taking it any further than looking, nope.

little_tippler

I had a boyfriend when I was 17, who was 23. It was never a problem and yes we had sex. I was pretty mature at 17 and it never even crossed my mind it was wrong or he was too old...we just worked together. It's all relative, depends on the situation. My parents knew from the start and they allowed me to date him. We were together until I was 20, I have no regrets with regards to that relationship. I grew a lot from it.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

connyosis

I don't know if angry is the right emotion. Worried maybe but I guess it depends on the people involved. Does the girl seem mature enough? Is the guy a "playa" or does he seem like a nice guy?

__________________
If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

flstf

I'm sure there are exceptions but the guys I knew in their twenties who dated and hung around with high school kids were usually looking for some kind of popularity/affirmation they were not getting from those their same age. I always thought this was not a good thing for the high schoolers.

highthief

Personally, I think it's a little creepy - there's 7 years between my wife and I but she was in her twenties when we met.

There is a big emotional gulf between the average 16 and 22 year old. It's not illegal in this country, but I doubt I'd be happy hanging out with someone running after girls not long out of playing with dolls.

__________________
Si vis pacem parabellum.

Lucifer

Well, at the risk of offending half the members who are friends, and ostracizing myself from the other half:

I was with a 16 year old Swedish girl when I was 28 and living in Portugal. She was very mature for her age (she hitchhiked across Europe to get to Portugal from Sweden), and we basically lived together for 2 years while there and sailing in the Caribbean. We are still good friends, and exchange emails regularly. I sent her back the stuffed animal she gave me for Christmas in 1995 when we were sailing across the Atlantic, for her first baby. oh yeah, one other thing. Her parents loved me. So no issues there.

__________________
I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321

Lady Sage

In Ohio the law reads that if one of the consentual partners is a minor, they can only be up to 4 years apart in age. Consenting age begins at 13. Therefore a 13 y/o can shag a 17 y/o without consequense as long as it is consenting. A 16 y/o can shag up to a 20 y/o.

Otherwise, 16 can get you 30 in the can.

While I beliege GG was old enough to handle her situation, not every child is. Some are immature for their age. If your kid is going to be promiscuous, get her on the pill, counsel him/her about birth control. That way we dont have babies having babies- or more contributions to the abortion thread.

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

The_Jazz

I agree with Lady Sage: it is situational. I think that a lot of states have the 4-year rule, and for good reason. That said, I doubt many 13-year olds are mature enough to handle sex with a 17-year old.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

pig

fine: this thing comes in handy at the wierdest times:

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

LoganSnake

Ummm, this same guy posted this same shit at my forum as well. It's a bot.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Lady Sage

I also have to wonder... WHY would the 22 yearold want a 16 yearold? He can go drink, she is likely learning how to drive.

Maybe it is just me?

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

MSD

Whatd'ya mean you don't like spam?
This subject has been discussed repeatedly on TFP, and the proper way to continue the discussion is not to do it in a spam thread. If someone wants to talk about it, either start a new thread in the appropriate forum or resurrect an old one.