mixedmedia

Like a few other people here have alluded to, I'm wondering why the hell this kid had a Gameboy under the Christmas tree in the first place. If I remember tradition correctly he should have had a bag of charcoal wrapped up under there. Unbelievable.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

warrrreagl

Spot on.

Last month, Grancey and I were walking through Target with her brother and his family (his wife and their two teenage kids). We were there supposedly for them to buy the 15-year old son an $80 video game. For some reason, the conversation turned to their family dog and Grancey's brother lamented how the two kids no longer walk the dog or clean out the catbox anymore and it's left up to their parents to do it all. Grancey very succinctly and eloquently said, "Maybe he shouldn't get a video game until he starts walking the dog."

You would have thought Grancey had suggested they put a bullet in the kid's head based on their reaction. I think the future rule for that situation is "don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever suggest to a parent how to handle their kids." Of COURSE she was right. But....

They did not buy the video game at that point but they also didn't speak more than three syllables for the rest of the weekend. Also, the kid was royally pissed at us becase we'd ruined his new purchase.

And THAT'S why the "it takes a village" bullshit doesn' fly. I'm sure with the kid in South Carolina, many "villagers" had chimed in on his situation for years - teachers, relatives, neighbors, coaches, ministers, etc. - and good old mom had either gotten royally pissed or threatened to sue.

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roachboy

one thing i learned during my period as santa claus is that santa claus is the superego--but also that the superego function poses a kinda problem for the xmas retail logic, so has to be attenuated.

you dont see department store santas threatening kids with lumps of coal. that would get in the way of cultivating that smooth relationship to consumerism-as-freedom-and-as-total-self-definition so central to the meaning of xmas.

and perhaps therein lies the problem: the breakdown of parental authority begins with department store santa clauses eliminating the threat of misery for xmas if you, kid, do not obey.

santa should have interrogated the kid and when systematic misbehaviour was discovered, threatened the kid with a lump of coal as the opening round of a series of escalating afflictions: shape up or you'll find yourself with hellfire and damnation or plagued with locusts or at the center of a shower of frogs.

and if the kid objected, santa should have tasered him.

i'm santa claus. don't fuck with me.

boundaries, that's what we need.
boundaries and punishments.
we need isolated nuclear families made up of people who are willing to tell kids like it is:

"santa claus will NOT bring you commodities if you do not obey."

you have to be strong about this.
sometimes the truth is hard.

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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

mixedmedia

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Terminal Frost

It sounds to me like you've been watching the Dog Whisperer too much. Human beings are a lot more complex and intelligent than household pets and therefore deserve a little more respect. I understand that cognitive development prevents kids from understanding certain concepts at certain ages. I am not sure at what ages you condone punishing or enforcing rules without explaining them, but I believe that even at the youngest age a child deserves more than that - unless of course you want to end up with a little robot that secretly despises you. The kind of enforcement you suggest will work for most parents if they have a strong will. I'm afraid, however, that as the child grows older and is responsible for making decisions on their own, they will be more likely to rebel against their oppressive parents. By the time most kids are high school seniors or freshman in college they can't handle the freedom given to them. They end up drinking way too much, contracting a few STDs and wasting their parent’s money.

It doesn't surprise me that so many of you have responded by saying that kids should be spanked and rules should always be enforced without the need for explanation. I feel the same frustration with the kind of kid that was the subject of this thread. The trouble is that for all these "problem children" any amount of force imposed on them by the time they are 6 or 7 will probably not do anything. When you are raised by such horrible parents I doubt there is much left that they could do. Doing a complete 180 and punishing the kid for every little thing will not fix the situation at this point.

My parents punished me when I did something wrong and I had my fair share of fights with them when I was a little kid. The difference is that they didn't hit me or treat me like a dog, ever. They always explained to me and my sister exactly what was wrong and what their rationale behind the punishment was. They let us know why what we were doing was wrong and why it was necessary to correct our behavior. I never ever looked at my Christmas presents even though my parents would tell us where they were. I didn't always do what I was told to do by authorities either, but my parents raised me to be that way. My mom and dad are two of the most intelligent people that I know, and as such they never had a problem arguing or discussing the nature of their parenting. They were right, and I thank god that we had an open dialogue at all times because it taught me to not only question authority, but also that my parents are smart as hell; so not only did I just listen to them, I actually believed that what they told me was for my best interest and I never felt a need to rebel against them or keep anything from them.

Love is the answer

Miss Mango

Actually after reading the police report, I see why they had to file the complaint. The mom is basically putting the kid in DJJ, because he will not respect authority and has been kick out of school and failed rebound twice. The only way to put the kid in DJJ is to charge him with an actual crime.

MageB420666

Read the police report in the link. He has a court date for the assault incident.

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Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn.

shakran

Then that proves my point. He's already been arrested for assaulting a cop. That's a much more serious charge than peeking at a christmas present. What exactly did Mom-of-the-Year think she was going to accomplish here.

Telluride

I disagree with this statement. I think parents should explain the rules whenever possible. It is, in my opinion, better that the child know why certain behavior is wrong. It may eventually help the child make decisions regarding behavior if they are faced with something that they haven't specifically been scolded/punished for.

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Paq

HOLY SHIT!!!! I LIVE IN THAT CITY!!!!!!!!!

and my gf in arizona told me that she watched the news story on it out there...

yay, we're finally getting exposure.


sad thing is, this isn't really uncommon for some areas in my town

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Chris