Boy Arrested For Opening Xmas Gift Early
 

Straight off The Smoking Gun.

LINKY

On TFP we've already hashed and re-hashed how so many parents are too emotionally terrified of their own children to raise them anymore. And then I get to eat next to them at the restaurant. What I can't figure out is why the police didn't tell this lady to go fuck herself, grow some backbone, and handle her own damn kid.

Holy shit, lady.

While I generally agree with you, I think this case is a little different from the unruly hellions I end up next to in restaurants and on airplanes. From the commentary on the police report, it's clear this kid is a major handful. He's been kicked out of school, he's got priors on his record for disorderly conduct and assaulting a police officer. While mom is clearly not blameless in any of her child's behavior, I can sort of get behind her calling down the full consequences of his actions. If she'd started doing that years ago, maybe things would be different for him now.

A parent's rules should be like gravity. Gravity never explains the rules. Gravity just enforces the rules, universally, immediately, and without deviation. Mess with gravity's rules, you end up on your butt, no matter how much you whine or pout about it. By the time we're 2 or so, we've got that figured out, and we never question gravity's rules again.

I agree she should handle her own child.

How many of us didnt peek at xmas presents as kids? I know I did!

She should handle her own kid. Also, if he is as bad as the report and everything leads to, then he doesn't deserve a GameBoy. I mean, if a child is really bad all year, why spoil him now? When I was little, if we were bad we got half-eaten candy bars and bread crusts. Literally. Then a few good presents would come out because we really weren't that bad. :lol: My grandpa made sure of that by using his belt when we got out of line even the tiniest bit.

Parents are not hard enough on their kids though. I see it everyday and I don't even want to get started on the topic. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I heard a parent ask me for advice and say, "I just don't know what to do?" I give them advice like, grounding from tv, video games, early bedtime, etc. Response: "Oooh, then he'd be mad at me. I don't want that."
I just want to smack them.

The cops? A little overkill? Maybe...maybe not. That's not for me to decide. Though, personally...I'd have just taken the Game Boy back to store for a refund, and the "Hellion" would've gotten zilch for Christmas.

Well...maybe a card. A cookie if he cried. Nah, not even that.

Too many people who have kids dont understand the difference between Parent and Friend. Who cares if your kid is mad at you? Do your job darn it!

I think calling the cops was a good idea. That is raising your kid, letting him experience the highest level of negative consequece for negative behavior. I'm just wondering why it had to get this far before the mom decided to do that? If she had brought the highest level of consequence to bear from the begining then this would not have been necessary.

Also I agree that the kid should not be getting a gameboy for christmas. this mom probably had to work for a week for the wages to pay for that gameboy. This is a kid that is spoiled to the core.

I dont know it's been decided that kids should not be spanked by so many people. There is the ideal out there that kids can be redirected and that simply praising and rewarding good behavior will get that behavior repeated. BULL SHIT. I mean that is one part of it. but that cannot be the whole kit and kaboodle to parenting. Likewise if all you ever do is punish you kid then you wind up with problems.

Negative actions have negative consequences. Deal with it or don't have kids that grow up thinking that they should be allowed to sue their boss because they got fired when they mooned the customers- one of my coworkers at the hardware store a few years back did that, and now I see what kind of house he came from.

Did anyone read the actual report? This kid is a hellion. If my kid did all of the shit that he did, and he finally ripped open a present that was bought on good intentions, I'd go apeshit as well. The mom obviously called the cops based on his history of behavior, not just the present.

When I read the police report, I don't see HIS history of behavior. I see HER history of ineffectiveness and inaction. That child did not pass through some dimensional membrane as is. He was raised by her to be exactly the way he is now. Every item in that police report represents a missed opportunity by her to step up to the plate and teach her child responsible behavior.

I couldn't open the link due to a filter on my work computer, but I would have to believe that in order for the police to charge him with petty larceny this would have to be more than just opening a present. Did the story in the link actually say that the present was for him? Did he do more than just open the wrapping paper...perhaps he played with it too, or even took it outside of the house? When he got caught perhaps he refused to return it? In this case I have no problems that the parents called the cops because it is stealing.

He's 12. She's 27. Do the math. Obviously she wasn't taught responsibility and consequences of action when she was his age or so...where would she get the hint about teaching her own kid?
I'm with Shesus-Ya just wanna smack some parents upside their heads when they make those "I don't want him mad at me" comments.

ratbastid: "A parent's rules should be like gravity. Gravity never explains the rules. Gravity just enforces the rules, universally, immediately, and without deviation. Mess with gravity's rules, you end up on your butt, no matter how much you whine or pout about it. By the time we're 2 or so, we've got that figured out, and we never question gravity's rules again."

Brilliantly said.

"Playstation Game Boy" - that bit cracked me up.

Pimp smack the kid upside the head, that'll teach the little ****.

Ah, truer words were never spoken.
Brilliant? That was downright scintillating!

I can't figure out what laws were broken here. And why waste all this money bringing cops in when the parents have the responsibility. Don't they have better things to do?

If the mother can't handle the kid he should by taken away and someone that can handle him take care of things.

This reminds me of the 911 clip where the parent calls in about her daughter and the operator says "Do you want us to come shoot her."

I'd like her to pay the thousands of dollars it costs to arrest someone to the police department and make a public formal apology to everyone who's ever been a victim of a real crime, only to have the police busy with the insane rantings of a complete idiot.

Also, kudos to NG for pointing out that she couldn't keep her irresponsible legs shut when she was 15.

It is tough to be a single parent. A boy needs a father. Things like this really don't surprise me anymore with the decay of the family these days, kids are absolutely ill-behaved and borderline criminal (I live in LA where I see poor juvenile behavior on a daily basis).

Regardless of how irresponsible she was/is, it was better for her to call the cops than to just ignore it or let it go. What ever happened to it takes a village? I believe there are some people on this board who watch their neighbor's kids on a daily basis etc. A single mom trying to raise a boy is quite a handful. Oh and hey, who knows, maybe the arrest will scare him straight. When I was in high school, they made us visit a prison and meet these criminals (I was in a special program). That was one of the scariest experiences of my life. Made me think twice about being "disruptive" cause the last place I wanted to end up was there.

She was utilizing resources that are not in line with the "crime" comitted--there was no crime. I'd rather the police officer's time be used to prevent/resolve real crime (i.e., where a law has been broken) rather than as a ineffective parent's disciplinary device.

If I was the victim of a car-jacking, or a break-in robbery, or a violent domestic disturbance, and had to wait several more hours before getting face-to-face police time because of an incident like this, I'd be furious.

I agree with Sultana on this... this is a big waste of police resources. Some *real* crime is being neglected at the expense of this idiot woman and her poorly trained child.

By the way, ratbastid? Gravity? I love it and plan on using that explanation with my kids.

Me either, well said. Especially knowing she was 15 when she got pregnant with him, i'm not surprised.

Brilliant.

Yup, noticed that too... pretty scary, really. I'm 27, and I can't imagine what kind of shit I would have had to get into to have a child at 15. I know it happens, but damn, SO many things would have had to go wrong for that to happen. Hell, looks like her son is only 3 years away from doing the same thing in his life, jesus.

People. :rolleyes:

But there was a crime. He stole a GameBoy from his Grandmother. And I agree with the Mother, especially the part where she says she would rather call in her own son for something small, then it be someone else calling in a bigger crime down the line.

In my family, I would have gotten a belt across the ass for pulling something like that. But parents do need to have the power in the family, and it takes one normal officer a few minutes to keep the kid from ending up in jail for a lot longer in the future, I don't think it is a problem.

How does one steal a gift? Just curious...

It's like saying we stole the Statue of Liberty from France. It was a gift. A gift.

am I the only one that things it's insane that they actually arrested a 12 year...

Boys will be boys?

It really seems amazing to me that a parent would do that to their 12 year old... to call the cops on them for something so insignificant in the big scheme of things... why get the police involved... in fact if I have children my children would not ever have to worry about police, they would have to worry about the consequences (not physical) of going against the word of their Mother and Father. I was raised that their word was scripture and when they said "No" it meant "No", not "maybe", not sorta, not "later perhaps".

little jth: Can I go to over to my friend's house?
Daddy: No

end of discussion.

Not that it was mallicous or it was always a "No". In fact I got to do whatever I wanted for the most part until I was a teenager. It seems that when these parents don't build up trust between themselves and their children that there is no hope for them in the future.... so might as well call the cops

I don't see why the police should have even bothered with this.

While I agree with you, these days that can be how the cops will arrive at your house looking for YOU.

It went to a well-deserved death. It doesn't take a village--it takes a PARENT. Preferably two.

That sounds great, but so do a lot of things, in theory.

In practice, there are innumerable shades of gray. There seems to be more success when parents choose their battles, and concede others.

Well unfortunately the cops enforced the present present-opening behavior, not the past behavior. For the cops to be diverted from handling real crimes to arresting a stupid kid for opening a stupid christmas present is asinine. If he's such a hellion, maybe he should have been arrested when he assaulted the cop.

Presumably he got in at least some sort of trouble with the law about that. If that didn't scare him, how the hell is giving him a rap sheet for the high crime of present-peeking going to do anything?


This case is indicative of how the mother most likely performs all of her child rearing. Namely, she doesn't bother because it's too hard. Instead of calling the cops, just take the damn toy away and make sure the kid never gets it. Ever. Return it, sell it, hell crush the damn thing in front of him. Teach him there are consequences to disobeying orders.

Oh and while we're on the subject, kids peek at christmas presents if they get the chance. That's called being a kid. Quit being a dumbass about it, and next time hide the damn presents better. If this kid is really such a horrible boy, why in hell is mom choosing THIS incident to get excited about?

And another thing, why is mom buying the kid a nice video game system if he's such a jackass? The kid behaves or he doesn't get goodies. Hell even Santa Claus has that rule, why can't the parents?

^^^^^^^^^^^^

What he said.

Not only did the police waste 100% of their time dealing with this little shit, they had to most likely file reports wasting more time.

Filing charges? Let's hope they get dropped so this doesn't waste the courts time.

This lady needed some help raising her child. She got some.
I hope she gets more. She has been dealing with this problem for 12 years.
That's all I know about the situation.

This is way too Fucked up. I mean I had shitty parents but this takes the cake. It is really a shame that parents are depending on society to raise their kids.
IOM they should have taken away the mother for wasting the police officers time. THis is a petty dispute that could have been resolved at the family level.

Y'all are missing the truly important question....





Did the police taze him?

Here's how you do it right:

Hey, people do whatever they think they have to do to get through to their kids. Even if it takes an arrest.

Similar type of thing. 12 years old, nothing worked. Taking away, tv, video games, groundings, even an arrest, NOTHING was working for this kid. And this was a two parent home. Even with a father (I wonder how much he did though it does say he was a step-father).

Well that often does happen when you have a kid at age 15 like this mom did.

Negative. It's allowing there to be shades of gray that lets children to eat you alive.

Children operate in a mode of dominating you or avoiding being dominated by you. It's all they've got. So stop making rules to protect your children and start making rules to protect yourself (and others) from your children.

That doesn't mean there has to be a rule for every little thing. I think that's what you mean by "pick your battles". But the rules you make, enforce them reliably and universally.

You're the adult here. You don't have to concede anything. And you don't have to explain why you're not conceding. It's just going the way you say, and that's it. Once kids learn that, life gets a whole lot simpler for them, and a lot of the struggle they have with their parents disappears.

Also (thanks Jess for pointing this out) gravity doesn't make it an emotional issue. No anger, no reaction, no revenge. Just consequences.

I learned this from one of the most amazing fathers I know. I once overheard the following interaction:

"Time for bed!"
"But I'm not tiiiiired!"
"You don't get it. I'm tired. So you're going to bed."
"Oh. ... Ok."

The other thing is, you can get creative with the rules. When they go out with their kids, there's one rule: it's the kids' job to make sure the grownups are having a good time. If the grownups stop having a good time, it's over, and we're going home. Not like a punishment or an emotional thing: it's simply that the rule is, if the grownups aren't having a good time, we're going home. Or when they're playing together at home or something--same deal. If dad's not having a good time, the game's over. He's raised two GREAT kids following this principle. Mature, intelligent, interesting, responsible, respectful. Just really, really great kids, who have total control over themselves.

A better way to work this rule, IMHO, and the way I work it myself, is that it's the kid's job to make sure they are not the cause of me not having a good time. Let's face it. I am NOT going to have a good time over lunch at Chuck E Cheese. Period. Not gonna happen. The kid's playing his video game or jumping in that pit of balls and I'm listening to what sounds like 750 other kids squalling at the top of their lungs and being general brats. There is absolutely nothing my child can do to make me have a great time at this place, but then that particular restaurant is geared toward making sure my KID has a good time. That's good enough for me, and provided my kid doesn't start acting stupid like all the other kids in there, we're not going to up and leave just because I don't like it.

Just an aside: Chuck E. Cheese is why God gave us iPods. Download 4 hours of your favorite songs and just watch your kid. Trust me, it works mericles. Just don't close your eyes, those little dudes are quick.

You can't say that, you don't know the circumstance around it. Not all teen pregnancies are sluts.

I agree with the mothers' treatment of the kid. Obviously, she bought the gameboy to try and bribe him, like she will buy it for him if he stays good. She also probably hoped that he would be so distracted by this new toy, he wouldn't do some of the bad things, he would be tempted away from the bad life.

It is kind of funny to think of the police enforcing proper Christmas gift giving protocal. The Christmas police, has a nice ring to it, perhaps we can have them make a list and check it twice to find out who has been naughty or nice.