Panopticon

I just recently started attending a few parties here and there and I'll be damned if I can get a girl to even talk to me. I have no problem striking up a conversation outside of the party atmosphere, but the usual stuff ain't working. I typically start off a conversation around campus with asking stuff about school or whatever. Apparently, that doesn't work at a party. Obviously, everybody is there to get drunk, not talk to people about majors and stuff - and I can't blame them for that. I guess I am going in there with the wrong frame of mind.

So, I come to you in hopes of some guidance. What is the best way to get a girl's attention at a party?

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.:Panopticon:.

Willravel

I can't speak for everyone, but I usually would take off my shirt and stand next to the keg. That usually got the ladies attention. A great conversation starter "Boy, is it cold in here?>" followed by a quick laugh and introduction. You'll be in your NSFW avatar before you know it.

Panopticon

Yeah, I should probably change that avatar now that I am posting in forums that may actually get read by people at work.

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.:Panopticon:.

Seaver

When at a party girls dont want anything deep. The farthest you should get into school is what her major is... and then crack a non-threatening joke to make her laugh (even feigning being impressed helps at times).

Just have fun, make her laugh, and you shouldnt have a problem. Generally if you have to think about things to say you're thinking too hard at a party. As long as you dont A) bring up sex before she does, and B) dont puke/spill on her... the only way it wont work is if you're simply not her type (happens a lot).

Oh yeah... dont follow her around a party either. If she leaves just find someone else to talk to and have fun... very often they'll see you're fun to be around and will make their way back.

Hat

Have a few beers (don't get trashed, just get tipsy enough to relax), loosen up, and you should have no problems.

kutulu

I found that it works really well to grab a girls hand and stick it down your pants. It may not be the attention you want, but it will surely get her attention.

rmarshall

Make sure toilet paper isn't stuck to your shoe or hanging out the back of your pants. Women giggle at that.

Panopticon

Good ideas, fellas.

I'll put these into practice on Thursday. And Friday and Saturdy, if need be.

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.:Panopticon:.

Slippery Slope

Just don't stand next to the bathroom door all night smiling
at all the girls. Apparently, they think that's..."weird"...

tspikes51

I've had TONS of experience here in the past year, especially in the past two months, for better or worse. Here's a good list of do's and don'ts from experience:

DO:
===

-Something passively outrageous or funny. Not something like running out of the bathroom wearing only a sock, but like pretending to fall asleep with a beer in your hand on the couch (I've done this, do it towards the beginning of the party).

-Drink beer. I cannot stress this enough. If something else is offered, only take it if:
A) It's for a "community" drink (i.e. taking shots)
B) You've already mentioned that you've gotta finish your beer and they offer you again.

-Talk with everybody for a couple of minutes. When you find an acceptable candidate, talk to them until you run out of "casual" things to say. Then tell her you're going somewhere else (i.e. to get another drink or to get a breath of fresh air) by saying "hey, wanna go <insert place>," or "hey, you want a beer?" If they say no, go to where you said you would, then return to that area and talk to somebody else. If she's interested, she'll catch up with you.
-Invite her to play a drinking game. Man up and drink at least as much as she does, but don't get carried away.

DON'T
=====

-Talk about sex. Change the subject if you have to.
-Drink too much.
-Talk about past relationships, unless you intend to lie about a very recent relationship gone sour. Beware, however, this angle takes a bit of practice and should only be used in desperation, 'cause you're bringing yourself down.
-Get personal. BE VERY CASUAL AT ALL TIMES. For reference, here's a short list of acceptable topics: shoes, where you're from (don't get into too much), TV, music, favorite drinks, what actresses are sleazy/fat (let her start, this works miracles), cool people you've met/places you've been. Make sure not to stay on one subject for too long.
-Act too interested, no matter how interested you are.

The rest is just practice. You can't have game until you practice.

__________________
"I'm telling you, we need to get rid of a few people or a million."
-Maddox

tspikes51

Oh, and obligatory Dane Cook;

I think somebody may have shit in or around the coat area.

__________________
"I'm telling you, we need to get rid of a few people or a million."
-Maddox

Ace_O_Spades

WHAT!?!?

*blends back into the forum*

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Feh.

Seaver

I have to second AoS on this one... huh? It's not a joke if you're the only one at the party who gets it.

Anyways a good compliment that women LOVE to hear, but NEVER do... is their shoes. They put more emphasis on those than probably any part of their outfit, and no guy ever notices. Compliment those and watch their face light up.

kangaeru

Pano--

Hmm...where do I begin man....where do I begin....

First off, let me say this. Girls at college parties do not want to fuck you because you're witty, or nice, or an all around good guy. They want to fuck an alpha male, a bad ass, someone who doesn't care if she leaves with him or not because he's got bigger fish to fry. You never met this girl before tonight and you don't have to ever see her again, so always keep in mind that you have nothing to lose, so don't act like you're into her. The second you do that, she'll know she has you, and then you're just her bitch. NEVER believe you could not just turn around and walk away and not be any less for it--I do it all the time.

Honestly man picking up college girls is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier if there is drinking AND dancing involved. If you can grab a girl on the dance floor, or grab a girl and bring her TO the dance floor, that's a huge advantage for you--IF you can dance. It gives you a reason to get physically close--and dancing is also a good way to turn girls on. By the way, the key to dancing, is to find the goddamn base line and move naturally to it. Come up with some basic repitious moves you can do and just rock those out like you don't give a shit if anyone is looking--because chances are they're not. The fact that 90% of guys are either horrible dancers or too chicken to do it in the first place will put you at the head of the pack.

Conversation...minimally important. Just don't be boring or talk about stupid shit like how annoying your teacher is. Keep your anecdotes and jokes to a minimum...less is more, and it's better not to talk too much. That's too 'brainy' for girls and really turns them off. What's more important than what you talk about is how you carry yourself, how you act, what kind of vibe she gets from you. Talk about what you did last weekend, plans you want to do with your friends...sporting stuff is always good, skiiing/snowboarding/football/basketball whatever. Try to find a little common ground with her so you can get HER talking about HER crap, but make sure its crap you understand yourself so you can seem knowledgable about the subject.

Other than that man...just never forget, practice makes perfect. To be rejected happens allllllllllllllllllllllllll the time. All the time. This goes for me as well. But you know what? I don't care about rejection because the person doing the rejecting is a stranger to me. I gave it a shot, it wasn't meant to be, nothing personal, whatever. People are people, and they vary WIDELY in their tastes and personalities, so you should NEVER get depressed.

Don't forget the virtue of giving her some time to do her own thing. You need to be patient. Don't follow her like a golden retreiver. After initial contact, if she goes anywhere, be like, 'okay, cya then' unless she makes it a point to ask you to come along. This may mean she doesn't dig you or it may just mean she wants to see if you're going to be a needy little boy...and sometimes it just means she's gonna go spend some time with the people she came to the party with. In the same token, you should also not be afraid to initiate a break off, like, 'listen, i came with a bunch of friends and I'm gonna go check up on em, make sure they're all doin okay ya know? i'm sure we'll bump into each other later' -- the last part of that is key, because it lets her know you're not rejecting her. feel free to make that a little more blunt like ' blah blah blah. but anyways have a nice night, see ya around' if you want to give her a blunt clue.

Another thing is...a lot of girls aren't worth picking up, or talking to. They're stale, no personality, or they're just plain dirty. Learn when to just cut loose and move on when the conversation is stillborn to begin with.

ALso, don't forget, things are only as akward as they seem to you. It doesn't matter WHAT the hell you say or do that might offend her if you can play it cool and just shrug it off like it didn't matter. She will follow your lead--because you're the alpha. If you worry about what she thinks, what she's feeling about you, whatever, you're in her trap and you've lost. You'll tell her what YOU think, show that you have NO attachment to her, and she will be more intrigued and lured in by you for it, because she will not be able to a) control your emotions or b) read what you're thinking.

Basically man, just be yourself with confidence--that's the sexiest thing a guy can do. If the girl doesn't like you, she wasn't a good fit for you anyways, and it's better you got it out of the way rather than waste your time with small talk.

You're the alpha, don't forget it =P

(P.S. as far as getting your foot in the door, this is tried and true. Look around the room...wait for someone to catch your eye, and toss them semi-frequent looks. If her eyes catch yours, don't look away, stare straight at her...don't bug your eyes, maybe cock your head and smile a little bit, and then just walk up to her, shake her hand (the proper way to do this is not the way you shake hands with a guy, you take her hand over the arch of your index finger and between your thumb, like you're thumb wrestling--they will notice this as it shows coolness and class, trust me) and just say, "Hi, I'm <yourname>, who might you be?" Don't RUN up on her, walk slowly, take your time, be cool, she is captivated (or very freaked out) by you at this point. Don't take yourself too seriously in all this...keep your eyes relaxed, gentle, playful--don't look intense like you're moving in for the kill. Women are afraid of men in general, and strange men aggressively staring at them will take you from mysterious to a weirdo really quickly. There is a fine line between being weird/akward/sketchy and being confident and nonchalant. Like I said, practice makes perfect, so take this basic premise and switch it up, but just remember confidence with yourself and indifference to the girl in question are what will win you the bread)

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Dont be afraid to change who you are for what you could become

Misz

Iam a funny bloke irl and not so confident around girls till I loosen up, so I usually do exactly what hat says, also as Seaver said

"Oh yeah... dont follow her around a party either. If she leaves just find someone else to talk to and have fun... very often they'll see you're fun to be around and will make their way back."

tspikes51

You're a phantom. I'm gonna go hang out in the woods.

__________________
"I'm telling you, we need to get rid of a few people or a million."
-Maddox

snowy

If some guy complimented me on my shoes, my gaydar would immediately start ticking. Seriously. Don't compliment her on her shoes. Don't compliment her on her clothes. Compliment her on herself. Say you couldn't help but notice how striking her eyes are, or how you like blondes, redheads, brunettes--whatever she is.

As a female who recently finished college, I can tell you the trick to talking to girls at parties is: be yourself. Don't be overeager, and be as relaxed as you can manage. I see too many guys ruin what they have with girls by being overeager. If they don't want to talk to you, that's their problem. College is full of people--there are always other fish in the sea. And don't expect to ever find something serious at a party--that is the LAST place on Earth you want to look. But seriously--if a woman seems disinterested, just move on. I also see guys do this all the time--they get hung up on the woman who doesn't want to talk to them. DON'T BE THAT GUY. You'll just turn yourself into a pest, or a guy they know they can manipulate down the road. Unless the party is a total sausagefest, there's bound to be a woman who will talk to you.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

tspikes51

kangaeru brings up some good points. A hookup rarely happens without dancing. Make sure you can grind the hips pretty well, you don't need to worry about much else. Feel free to "sing" (and by that I mean "rap") along at parts if you're good enough, it's fucking impressive. Also, talking more than 3 or 4 minutes at a time is reserved for parties that kinda suck or for a nice finish-off after things slow down a bit or you get tired (and if that's the case, the conversation shouldn't last more than 15 minutes).

CONFIDENCE is the key. Not arrogance. Eye contact is important. Look at her when she looks at you, and when she's talking, act interested, but not too much. Don't overdo anything. Little things make big differences, talk to other people on occasion, lead her through doors by the small of her back (not too low), and keep your head up. Act like you've done this before, and you're in.

Don't be afraid of rejection. It most likely will happen at least once a night before you hook up.

Make sure to stay somewhat up with pop culture; what music is popular, big movies, and at least 2 or 3 things off of the Starbucks menu. It'll make conversation easy.

That's about all I can tell you about game. I'm still in development, but this is what I've learned so far. I haven't had the chance to practice over break, but school's back in today, so this has been a good refresher for me. Can't wait to get back. Good luck, and don't give up.

__________________
"I'm telling you, we need to get rid of a few people or a million."
-Maddox

Carno

Eh? Singing along with a song is impressive?

How is that fucking impressive?

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Seaver

That's how I've gotten my last 3 girls. Please an attractive woman has been told she has beautiful eyes hundreds of times by their Senior year. Dont be just another suckup guy, a girls shoes will tell you more about her than than talking for 15min.

And Kang... I have to disagree with much of what you said. Yes every girl wants a man to be a man... but some of your stuff is simply overboard

Maybe it's a Southern thing... but down here a guy who just walks up and dances with a girl with be rejected before you can say "sup". Simply go up to a girl and say "hey want to dance?", just start doggy humping a girl on the dance floor makes you look like an ass.

rmarshall

This reminds me of that old Saturday Night Live skit with Steve Martin and Dan Ackroyd.
They go out to the clubs and look for women with dog poopy on their shoes. :lol

Seaver

Lol...

Well it's true. If you go out to a decent bar and girl A is wearing black high heels... and girl B is wearing flip-flops... guess which one is out looking and which has been dragged out by her friends.

Ace_O_Spades

WHOOSH

right over your head... It's from a dane cook comedy special... the "WHAT!?" is actually part of the joke.

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Feh.

Tachion

Try:
http://linesthataregood.com/

Pick-up lines and they actually track their success rate!!