In Virgin Waters - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

thespian86 · 01-04-2006, 12:44 PM

Like my fellow forumist (if that is indeed the correct terminology) Johnny Pyro, I love and trust all of the amazing people who call this forum home. I trust you enough to tell you that I am fairly sexually inexperienced. And for me, and my girlfriend of two months, we are indeed in virgin waters; so to speak.

My girlfriend is a 19 virgin, I am a twenty one year old second timer. She has a very healthy sexual appitite and I am really the first guy she has been sexually active with. We have been close friends for the past four years or so (since highschool) and we have been flirting with the idea of dating for a long time. She and I have lots of fun with manuel and oral stimulation and such; she loves being touched. She wants to have sex... really bad. And certainly I do too. There is a problem.

I am too big for her. It's not that I am horribly big... but she is horribly small and I want to know how to remedy this. She even feels pain from having one finger penetrate her. I really don't know what to do... I am certainly fine with waiting but it's not going to magically get better. And I know it is supposed to be painful the first time women have sex but it is the fact that I can't even insert my penis... it just doesn't seem to fit. She isn't interested in using sexual toys becasue we talked about it. So what should we do? Ms. Punkmusicfan21 and I could certainly use some help. Thanks!

PMF21

maleficent · 01-04-2006, 12:54 PM

congrats on your new lady...

Pain from your finger being inserted shouldn't happen... Does it hurt when she inserts her own fingers into herself... (it might be that she just tenses up -- even if she's not overly tense)

the other two things would be lubrication and position.. but if it hurts with just your finger - i don't htink it's position)

The 10,000 dollar question (Canadian dollar is pretty strong so it's close enough) has she been to a gynocologist yet - sexually active or not, I would hope that all women have been at least once by age 18... Her doctor would be able to break her hymen if it hasn't been already.. and that might make a difference.. o

Glory's Sun · 01-04-2006, 12:56 PM

You're just going to have to use your fingers for now. Your cock will fit eventually but you can't just cram it in there (not yet anyway)

Just have some fun masturbating each other and putting as much as you can in and stretching it a bit then going back to masturbation.

Oh.. and you could try some lube for some added help.

ngdawg · 01-04-2006, 01:09 PM

It might be a hymen problem, like Mal mentioned. It can be thick, too low, any number of things that makes any kind of penetration almost impossible-been there, got the t-shirt. (luckily or not, my first time was with a guy who didn't really give a rat's ass and after a few half-hearted tender seconds, rammed-end of problem

) hopefully, you're a bit more considerate.
Couple of questions: When you have tried with fingers, is she flowing at all? moist? dry? Dry will prevent insertion and cause pain. If everything's nice and wet, it is probably a hymen issue.
Here's a suggestion that works wonders, specially if she might be on the pill:
Buy a spermicidal suppository product. See if she can insert it. It will lubricate quite well and not be as icky as K-Y. If she can, you will most likely be able to follow

If not, she needs to talk to her doctor, following Mal's advice.

Seaver · 01-04-2006, 01:41 PM

As everyone else said, it's either her hymen, lack of lubricant, or she's tensing up.

No woman is "too small", they're designed to pop babies wider than a grapefruit afterall.

thespian86 · 01-04-2006, 01:47 PM

She is always really wet.. it doesn't take much to get her really wet. So I don't think it's a lubrication problem. And if it is the hyman and she has yet to see a gynocologist, what then?

What if she is uncomfortable going to see one?

maleficent · 01-04-2006, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21

She is always really wet.. it doesn't take much to get her really wet. So I don't think it's a lubrication problem. And if it is the hyman and she has yet to see a gynocologist, what then?

What if she is uncomfortable going to see one?

I should make this my signature...

IF she's grown enough to be having sex (or considering having sex) then she's grown enough to be taking responsiblity for her sexual health - and that includes seeing a gynocologist on a regular basis. (Imagine my finger wagging and me looking very sternlly while I say that -- I'm forum mother - I'm allowed

What abotu when she masturbates herself - can she insert her own fingers without pain -- does she use tampons - do they cause her problems?

Charlatan · 01-04-2006, 01:51 PM

Sounds like she should try getting comfortable with seeing one.

All women should see a gynocologist once they are her age.

thespian86 · 01-04-2006, 02:20 PM

agreed charlatan and to answer Mal i sadly have to report that she has never masterbated before... infact before me she had never had an orgsam. She had been touched before but never to the point of orgasm before me. She loves it but she tells me she doesn't do it. So should I just keep helping her out...? She doesn't use tampons either

maleficent · 01-04-2006, 02:26 PM

.. I'm standing by my statement to see a doctor

however... for purely informational purposes...

I"m assuming that you don't have mammouth hands... and her hands are smaller than yours are... what if she inserts her fingers into herself - and if she's self conscious - she doesn't have to do it with you watching.. she can report back.. because I'm assuming that you are discussing this with her...

Tensing up could also be part of the problem - that she might be expecting it to hurt... and it is..

Basically - -is it anything inserted that causes pain?

(there's a thread or two on visiting a gyno-- if she wanted to pop by and read - it's honestly not that big a deal... having some of that info might make it less scarey... (and make you look like a really caring boyfriend

shesus · 01-04-2006, 02:39 PM

I'm going to just say that she needs to go to the gynocologist and she shouldn't be nervous or worried because that makes it worse. As mal said, if she's going to take on the sex act, she needs to have the maturity to go to the doctor. If she gets pregnant, she's going to have to go to the doctor. Also, with sex comes other problems down there that she will need to see a doctor about to cure.
That's all I'm saying on the topic...as I told my step-daughter, if you aren't comfortable with going to an OBGYN and you can't support a baby, don't have the sex.

Toaster126 · 01-04-2006, 03:12 PM

I'll go ahead and advice a gyno visit as well, and add that everyone (especially virginal females) should explore their own bodies. People shouldn't be ashamed at masturbation... I'm hoping she is just not telling the truth about never masturbating. If she isn't, march her into a room and tell her to go at it.

It will serve to relax her, educate her on her own body, and let her know what she likes so you can replicate it for her.

onodrim · 01-04-2006, 04:49 PM

From what you've shared here my guess is that it's not so much a physical problem as a mental one. She is probably jst nervous about the whole thing which is making her tense, etc. Like other have already suggested, it's really important to take things slow. Get here to know her own body and be comfortable with it and then move to doing more things together. The more laid back she is able to be about sex, the more she'll relax and enjoy what's going on. Don't let her have sex for the first time while generally tense and physically unprepared for it!

thespian86 · 01-04-2006, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onodrim

From what you've shared here my guess is that it's not so much a physical problem as a mental one. She is probably jst nervous about the whole thing which is making her tense, etc. Like other have already suggested, it's really important to take things slow. Get here to know her own body and be comfortable with it and then move to doing more things together. The more laid back she is able to be about sex, the more she'll relax and enjoy what's going on. Don't let her have sex for the first time while generally tense and physically unprepared for it!

Thanks Ono! I agree, and sexually we take things really slow. I don't wna to make myself out to be the considerate boyfriend but I have been slowly letting her become comfortable with her body and my eyes. I'm taking it slow and letting her get into the idea of sharing her body with me. Just like I'm letting her undress me slowly, touch me slowly (and of course I mean we are going so far not moving slow motion, matrix style... although that could be pretty comical). We are slowly becoming aware of what we like. But, yes, I think she has problems with her own body even though she is beautiful... so very very beautiful. And I mean beautiful to me and conventionally beautiful. So perhaps that is the case.

So the why is figured out... is there any thing I can do to help her relax... other then just let her take her pace or getting her drunk (yes to one, no to the latter :S). Is there anything else I could do to help stretch things out...

TheBrit · 01-04-2006, 05:28 PM

Getting her drunk doesn't have to be full on comatose "who are you?" drunk.
It's possibly not the best path to take, but a couple of glasses of a nice wine will be romantic, put her in the mood, and perhaps ease things along.

Martian · 01-04-2006, 06:30 PM

A glass of wine actually may not be such a bad idea. Picture a candlelit dinner, a glass of wine and some good, mellow music to put her in the mood...

What it comes down to is, (and I find myself sounding like a fucking parrot, I say this so often) sex is mental. I don't mean mental as in crazy; I mean that what you're thinking and feeling will dictate how your body reacts and how things go. If you're into it, want to have a good time and can just relax, that's what will happen. If you're stressed, things may not go so smoothly.

She does have to go to a gyno. It sounds like it's probably in her head, but it is also possible that there's some physical problem that's getting in the way too and you need to rule that out. These people are professionals and can help you get this figured out in a way nobody here can. Having said that...

Basically, there's not a whole hell of a lot you can do. You cannot make her okay with this until she does it for herself. How the hell could you possibly be expected to give her an orgasm or even make it enjoyable for her if she doesn't even know what's enjoyable? Every girl (and guy, for that matter) is different in what they like and dislike in the bedroom and it's up to her to explore her own body and figure out what works. That doesn't mean she can't have your encouragement and assistance in the matter, just that she needs to figure things out.

Try a different take. Give her a night (yes, a whole night; rent a hotel room if you have to) to be entirely about her. Tell her that you want to give her the most amazing experience she's ever had. Tell her that you are her willing slave for a night and will do anything she wants you to do, without exception. Then tell her that you don't know what to do, so she has to tell you. Ask her to be explicit. If she wants you to rub her clit, she has to say 'rub my clit'. If she wants you to go faster or slower, harder or more gently, she has to specify. Suck on her nipples, whatever.

If that's too much for her, you can try a bit of a softer touch and tell her that you're going to explore her body, but that you need her to tell you what's working and what isn't. There is no subtlety here; she has to be overt about it. Make sure you get it across to her that there is nothing that is taboo, there is nothing that you won't do for her. And make it clear that you will not stop until she has an orgasm. Then follow through with it.

And don't worry about they 'I'll do anything' bit; I'd lay odds that she's not going to ask you for much more than masturbation or oral. From the sounds of it she's way too inhibited to start getting into kink.

I don't think she's lying to you about never having orgasmed. Why would she? She has no motivation to lie about that. So you need to show her why it's good to have sex, what the good parts of it are, so that she'll want to and not be so fuggin tense.

And a quick word of caution; it's entirely possible that she may just not be able to orgasm at this point. If she's this wound up about things, it might not even be in the picture at all. If it seems like that's the case, focus instead on giving her as much pleasure as you possibly can.

onodrim · 01-04-2006, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21

So the why is figured out... is there any thing I can do to help her relax... other then just let her take her pace or getting her drunk (yes to one, no to the latter :S). Is there anything else I could do to help stretch things out...

There's already a lot of great advice here, but the best thing you can do is continue to encourage her. When you're together continually tell her how beautiful she is, how much she turns you on, etc. I'm sure that will help her start to feel more confident. (Not that you don't already I'm sure.

) In terms of "stretching things out," unless there is a serious physical issue this is the least of your worries. Like others have said, vaginas are made to stretch, they'll do their job when needed!

As always, start things slow and small (fingers) and gradually work up until she's comfortable. Look into getting some good lube as well, being too dry can cause a lot of pain and also hinder penetration.

thespian86 · 01-05-2006, 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

I don't think she's lying to you about never having orgasmed. Why would she? She has no motivation to lie about that. So you need to show her why it's good to have sex, what the good parts of it are, so that she'll want to and not be so fuggin tense.

And a quick word of caution; it's entirely possible that she may just not be able to orgasm at this point. If she's this wound up about things, it might not even be in the picture at all. If it seems like that's the case, focus instead on giving her as much pleasure as you possibly can.

In fact she's orgasmed twice while I stimulated her with my fingers. So she is comfortable enough to be nude/orgasm. So I'm not sure if it's that. And she is really comfortable with the idea of sex. I also have to say that I do encourage her, tell her I love her everyday ( a million times a day), tell her how beautiful she is... I can't help but tell her how amazing she is to me. But I do think it could be mental with a bit of physical.

Sultana · 01-05-2006, 07:57 AM

I like Martian's approach, with the exception of:
"And make it clear that you will not stop until she has an orgasm."
That can put a lot of pressure into what would ordinarily be a fun evening.

That's just my $0.02-worth. Good luck, and yes, insist she go to a gyno first! Maybe watch "Kinsey" with her. ;P

Ilow · 01-05-2006, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultana

I like Martian's approach, with the exception of:
"And make it clear that you will not stop until she has an orgasm."
That can put a lot of pressure into what would ordinarily be a fun evening.

I think he may have just been saying this to reduce the pressure on her to orgasm quickly. If she knows that she has all night, maybe she can relax more. Of course thre is the danger that if she doesn't cum then everybody feels like a failure at the end of the night, making your point...

xepherys · 01-05-2006, 11:28 AM

I bet Onodrim hit it dead on. My ex was the same way about sex. We were together for a few years and penetration still had her on pions and needles. It's not to say our sex life suffered, but it could've been a lot better. After we broke things off (the first time) and got got back together briefly, she was finally ready for it. Maybe another guy had got her head in the game... I really don't want to know. But yeah, it's likely emotional/mental. And that will only be fixed when she's fixed it I believe...

01-04-2006, 12:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	In Virgin Waters Like my fellow forumist (if that is indeed the correct terminology) Johnny Pyro, I love and trust all of the amazing people who call this forum home. I trust you enough to tell you that I am fairly sexually inexperienced. And for me, and my girlfriend of two months, we are indeed in virgin waters; so to speak. My girlfriend is a 19 virgin, I am a twenty one year old second timer. She has a very healthy sexual appitite and I am really the first guy she has been sexually active with. We have been close friends for the past four years or so (since highschool) and we have been flirting with the idea of dating for a long time. She and I have lots of fun with manuel and oral stimulation and such; she loves being touched. She wants to have sex... really bad. And certainly I do too. There is a problem. I am too big for her. It's not that I am horribly big... but she is horribly small and I want to know how to remedy this. She even feels pain from having one finger penetrate her. I really don't know what to do... I am certainly fine with waiting but it's not going to magically get better. And I know it is supposed to be painful the first time women have sex but it is the fact that I can't even insert my penis... it just doesn't seem to fit. She isn't interested in using sexual toys becasue we talked about it. So what should we do? Ms. Punkmusicfan21 and I could certainly use some help. Thanks! PMF21 __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much. Last edited by thespian86; 01-04-2006 at 12:48 PM..

01-04-2006, 12:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	congrats on your new lady... Pain from your finger being inserted shouldn't happen... Does it hurt when she inserts her own fingers into herself... (it might be that she just tenses up -- even if she's not overly tense) the other two things would be lubrication and position.. but if it hurts with just your finger - i don't htink it's position) The 10,000 dollar question (Canadian dollar is pretty strong so it's close enough) has she been to a gynocologist yet - sexually active or not, I would hope that all women have been at least once by age 18... Her doctor would be able to break her hymen if it hasn't been already.. and that might make a difference.. o __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

01-04-2006, 01:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	It might be a hymen problem, like Mal mentioned. It can be thick, too low, any number of things that makes any kind of penetration almost impossible-been there, got the t-shirt. (luckily or not, my first time was with a guy who didn't really give a rat's ass and after a few half-hearted tender seconds, rammed-end of problem ) hopefully, you're a bit more considerate. Couple of questions: When you have tried with fingers, is she flowing at all? moist? dry? Dry will prevent insertion and cause pain. If everything's nice and wet, it is probably a hymen issue. Here's a suggestion that works wonders, specially if she might be on the pill: Buy a spermicidal suppository product. See if she can insert it. It will lubricate quite well and not be as icky as K-Y. If she can, you will most likely be able to follow If not, she needs to talk to her doctor, following Mal's advice. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

01-04-2006, 01:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	She is always really wet.. it doesn't take much to get her really wet. So I don't think it's a lubrication problem. And if it is the hyman and she has yet to see a gynocologist, what then? What if she is uncomfortable going to see one? __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

01-04-2006, 01:51 PM	#8 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Sounds like she should try getting comfortable with seeing one. All women should see a gynocologist once they are her age. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

01-04-2006, 12:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Glory's Sun Registered User	You're just going to have to use your fingers for now. Your cock will fit eventually but you can't just cram it in there (not yet anyway) Just have some fun masturbating each other and putting as much as you can in and stretching it a bit then going back to masturbation. Oh.. and you could try some lube for some added help.

01-04-2006, 01:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	As everyone else said, it's either her hymen, lack of lubricant, or she's tensing up. No woman is "too small", they're designed to pop babies wider than a grapefruit afterall.

01-04-2006, 02:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	agreed charlatan and to answer Mal i sadly have to report that she has never masterbated before... infact before me she had never had an orgsam. She had been touched before but never to the point of orgasm before me. She loves it but she tells me she doesn't do it. So should I just keep helping her out...? She doesn't use tampons either __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

01-04-2006, 02:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	.. I'm standing by my statement to see a doctor however... for purely informational purposes... I"m assuming that you don't have mammouth hands... and her hands are smaller than yours are... what if she inserts her fingers into herself - and if she's self conscious - she doesn't have to do it with you watching.. she can report back.. because I'm assuming that you are discussing this with her... Tensing up could also be part of the problem - that she might be expecting it to hurt... and it is.. Basically - -is it anything inserted that causes pain? (there's a thread or two on visiting a gyno-- if she wanted to pop by and read - it's honestly not that big a deal... having some of that info might make it less scarey... (and make you look like a really caring boyfriend __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

01-04-2006, 02:39 PM	#11 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	I'm going to just say that she needs to go to the gynocologist and she shouldn't be nervous or worried because that makes it worse. As mal said, if she's going to take on the sex act, she needs to have the maturity to go to the doctor. If she gets pregnant, she's going to have to go to the doctor. Also, with sex comes other problems down there that she will need to see a doctor about to cure. That's all I'm saying on the topic...as I told my step-daughter, if you aren't comfortable with going to an OBGYN and you can't support a baby, don't have the sex. __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

01-04-2006, 03:12 PM	#12 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	I'll go ahead and advice a gyno visit as well, and add that everyone (especially virginal females) should explore their own bodies. People shouldn't be ashamed at masturbation... I'm hoping she is just not telling the truth about never masturbating. If she isn't, march her into a room and tell her to go at it. It will serve to relax her, educate her on her own body, and let her know what she likes so you can replicate it for her. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

01-04-2006, 04:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
onodrim Cosmically Curious Location: Chicago, IL	From what you've shared here my guess is that it's not so much a physical problem as a mental one. She is probably jst nervous about the whole thing which is making her tense, etc. Like other have already suggested, it's really important to take things slow. Get here to know her own body and be comfortable with it and then move to doing more things together. The more laid back she is able to be about sex, the more she'll relax and enjoy what's going on. Don't let her have sex for the first time while generally tense and physically unprepared for it! __________________ "The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides" -Carl Sagan

01-04-2006, 05:28 PM	#15 (permalink)
TheBrit Psycho	Getting her drunk doesn't have to be full on comatose "who are you?" drunk. It's possibly not the best path to take, but a couple of glasses of a nice wine will be romantic, put her in the mood, and perhaps ease things along.

01-04-2006, 06:30 PM	#16 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	A glass of wine actually may not be such a bad idea. Picture a candlelit dinner, a glass of wine and some good, mellow music to put her in the mood... What it comes down to is, (and I find myself sounding like a fucking parrot, I say this so often) sex is mental. I don't mean mental as in crazy; I mean that what you're thinking and feeling will dictate how your body reacts and how things go. If you're into it, want to have a good time and can just relax, that's what will happen. If you're stressed, things may not go so smoothly. She does have to go to a gyno. It sounds like it's probably in her head, but it is also possible that there's some physical problem that's getting in the way too and you need to rule that out. These people are professionals and can help you get this figured out in a way nobody here can. Having said that... Basically, there's not a whole hell of a lot you can do. You cannot make her okay with this until she does it for herself. How the hell could you possibly be expected to give her an orgasm or even make it enjoyable for her if she doesn't even know what's enjoyable? Every girl (and guy, for that matter) is different in what they like and dislike in the bedroom and it's up to her to explore her own body and figure out what works. That doesn't mean she can't have your encouragement and assistance in the matter, just that she needs to figure things out. Try a different take. Give her a night (yes, a whole night; rent a hotel room if you have to) to be entirely about her. Tell her that you want to give her the most amazing experience she's ever had. Tell her that you are her willing slave for a night and will do anything she wants you to do, without exception. Then tell her that you don't know what to do, so she has to tell you. Ask her to be explicit. If she wants you to rub her clit, she has to say 'rub my clit'. If she wants you to go faster or slower, harder or more gently, she has to specify. Suck on her nipples, whatever. If that's too much for her, you can try a bit of a softer touch and tell her that you're going to explore her body, but that you need her to tell you what's working and what isn't. There is no subtlety here; she has to be overt about it. Make sure you get it across to her that there is nothing that is taboo, there is nothing that you won't do for her. And make it clear that you will not stop until she has an orgasm. Then follow through with it. And don't worry about they 'I'll do anything' bit; I'd lay odds that she's not going to ask you for much more than masturbation or oral. From the sounds of it she's way too inhibited to start getting into kink. I don't think she's lying to you about never having orgasmed. Why would she? She has no motivation to lie about that. So you need to show her why it's good to have sex, what the good parts of it are, so that she'll want to and not be so fuggin tense. And a quick word of caution; it's entirely possible that she may just not be able to orgasm at this point. If she's this wound up about things, it might not even be in the picture at all. If it seems like that's the case, focus instead on giving her as much pleasure as you possibly can. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

01-05-2006, 07:57 AM	#19 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	I like Martian's approach, with the exception of: "And make it clear that you will not stop until she has an orgasm." That can put a lot of pressure into what would ordinarily be a fun evening. That's just my $0.02-worth. Good luck, and yes, insist she go to a gyno first! Maybe watch "Kinsey" with her. ;P __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

01-05-2006, 11:28 AM	#21 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	I bet Onodrim hit it dead on. My ex was the same way about sex. We were together for a few years and penetration still had her on pions and needles. It's not to say our sex life suffered, but it could've been a lot better. After we broke things off (the first time) and got got back together briefly, she was finally ready for it. Maybe another guy had got her head in the game... I really don't want to know. But yeah, it's likely emotional/mental. And that will only be fixed when she's fixed it I believe...