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Old 08-14-2005, 09:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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What kind of sex is it?

Heres an example.... A guy and a girl who dated for about 2 years have been on and off for the past six months. Every once and a while they 'hang out' and end up getting it on.... They don't sleep with anyone else while they have their little rendevous.... Whats the answer to this test?
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Old 08-15-2005, 12:10 AM   #2 (permalink)
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The kind of sex involving a penis and vagina, no doubt.
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Old 08-15-2005, 12:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I'd say the couple in question is on a "break" but still use eachother to fulfill their sexual needs.
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Old 08-15-2005, 06:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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fucking users
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Old 08-15-2005, 06:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Friends with benefits
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Old 08-15-2005, 07:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I don't know what you call it but it must be pretty good or they wouldn't keep coming back for more.
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Old 08-15-2005, 12:26 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I hereby declare this the most informative thread ever.
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Old 08-15-2005, 04:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Just call it what it is. You used to go out, now you just hook up when you need/want to. One or both of you is very likely finding it hard to get another partner, and you're just using each other to satisfy your urges in the mean time. Nothing wrong with it, as long as both people know it's JUST sex.
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Old 08-15-2005, 04:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 08-15-2005, 04:37 PM   #10 (permalink)
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friend of mine calls their relationship, "together but not official"
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Old 08-15-2005, 04:47 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I agree with analog on this one. As long as both partners agree that it's just sex, it shouldn't cause any problems. However, when one of them starts attaching emotions or possession to that relationship when the other doesn't, it'll cause all kinds of problems.
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Old 08-15-2005, 05:00 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Fuckbuddies. As someone who's been in a similar situation for about a year (good friends who fuck) I can say it can be one of the most sexually fulfilling relationships, but certainly the least fulfilling emotionally.
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Old 08-15-2005, 05:17 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onesnowyowl
I can say it can be one of the most sexually fulfilling relationships, but certainly the least fulfilling emotionally.
I'm thinking that not trying to fulfill your needs emotionally by another is a good thing?

To me, and I have had this experience, this can be an excellent arrangement. I wouldn't call it "fuckbuddy" as to be having any sort of relationship with someone else in this capacity means there must be some admiration/respect between the couple involved... or maybe that's just me *shrugs*
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Old 08-15-2005, 07:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I'd call that ex-sex. Fuck-buddies/friends-with-benefits imply getting together more often to me...
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Old 08-15-2005, 07:33 PM   #15 (permalink)
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HAHA ex-sex... I like that one... I'll go with that.
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:33 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Ever hear of a FWOS? Friends-with-occasional-sex.
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:39 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tecoyah
Fuckbuddies
Exactly what I was going to say...
You want some and no one else is available call on someone you know will be willing to fulfill you. It's just fun with a familiar person and nothing else.
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Old 08-16-2005, 09:59 PM   #18 (permalink)
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So what happens when one person starts to feel emotional attatched? Should the person feel like they should bail out because of these feelings?
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Old 08-16-2005, 10:14 PM   #19 (permalink)
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The person who develops the feelings should tell the other person. If the other person does not feel the same way then the whole "fuck buddy" situation may need to take a break for awhile or be stopped completely.
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Old 08-17-2005, 02:38 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Freinds with benefits, fuck buddies are awsome. I love it when a woman will be a freind who I can have sex with. Sometimes it can go wrong. Example: when she says " I'm getting feelings for you." NO!!!!!!

Some girls I knew thought I was good looking but, understood I wasn't right for them and all we had in common was sex. Which is totally fine by me.
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Old 08-17-2005, 04:49 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyPot
So what happens when one person starts to feel emotional attatched? Should the person feel like they should bail out because of these feelings?
As Sugar&Spice said - the person who starts having the feelings needs to confess them to the other. If they don't and instead keep them secret (or even worse, assume the other party also has these feelings), things can get very bad if the partner kinds another person he or she would rather be with instead.

It's a tricky situation to have, but as long as you can keep emotional attachments out of it, you're in for a fun time.
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Old 09-15-2005, 05:52 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyPot
Heres an example.... A guy and a girl who dated for about 2 years have been on and off for the past six months. Every once and a while they 'hang out' and end up getting it on.... They don't sleep with anyone else while they have their little rendevous.... Whats the answer to this test?
Sounds like an exclusive fuck-buddy relationship to me.
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Old 09-15-2005, 06:08 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guccilvr
Friends with benefits
Friends with benefits is exactly right.... You don't have to have a lot of strings to have good sex between two people. And there is no need to crowd each other either. For me, being divorced, it is the best way to go.
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Old 09-15-2005, 06:26 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by analog
Just call it what it is. You used to go out, now you just hook up when you need/want to. One or both of you is very likely finding it hard to get another partner, and you're just using each other to satisfy your urges in the mean time. Nothing wrong with it, as long as both people know it's JUST sex.
Well really, it can be whetever the couple wants....and to use your words, call it what it is - or whatever you think it is. Not everybody wants a huge commitment, and a "friends with benefits" situation might just do the trick for a lot of people. If it is a monogamous relationship that is even better, considering all the diseases out there. Some people just don't want or need more than that.

People that have been burned before, usually are a little reluctant to trust, and are very protective of their space, property, feelings, etc. Having a buffer like your own living space, etc is a good thing for a lot of people... me included.

Quote:
Originally Posted by analog
Nothing wrong with it, as long as both people know it's JUST sex.
I agree with you in that however two people want to label a relationship they have (friends, lovers, fuckbuddies, etc), they both must be in agreement. That's the only way it will work. If one starts to have other ideas, then the "deal" they had will go south.
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Old 09-15-2005, 06:34 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyPot
So what happens when one person starts to feel emotional attatched? Should the person feel like they should bail out because of these feelings?
As long as the two set limits on the level of emotional attachment they consider acceptable, and stick to it....things can work. It's ok to feel a certain amount of emotional attachment, yet not want the other person around all the time. Not a lot of people can do it, but some can. I know of a few people who have similar arrangements.

Now...if one of the two develop stronger feelings, or things he/she needs more, then the only thing he/she can do is communicate with the other person and see what happens. It may be that they can modify their relationship, or maybe not. If not, then it's only a matter of time before one or the other opts out of their arrangement.
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Old 09-15-2005, 06:44 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyPot
Heres an example.... A guy and a girl who dated for about 2 years have been on and off for the past six months. Every once and a while they 'hang out' and end up getting it on.... They don't sleep with anyone else while they have their little rendevous.... Whats the answer to this test?
More information required on the bolded...do you mean that for the past six months, neither is seeing anyone else...or just that no one else is involved during a particular session, or couple of day session, or whatnot. Only the people involved can determine what's going on, but it might be interesting to explore who initiates the get-togethers, and who has the more dominant position within the relationship, etc. How long ago was the two year relationship?

I personally think the answer is that it's hard to get rooted out by someone you dated seriously for two years, for a casual six month period, without ghosts of the previous relationship rearing their heads for at least one person. Dangerous situation, etc. But have fun
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Old 09-15-2005, 06:47 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeker
I'm thinking that not trying to fulfill your needs emotionally by another is a good thing?

To me, and I have had this experience, this can be an excellent arrangement. I wouldn't call it "fuckbuddy" as to be having any sort of relationship with someone else in this capacity means there must be some admiration/respect between the couple involved... or maybe that's just me *shrugs*

I have had this type of "arrangement" too. I've been burned one too many times, and this sort of arrangment works great for me. It gives a lot of freedom for both to pursue their own activities, career goals, etc. The last time I had a relationship like this we only slept with each other, and respected each other's privacy and space. We spent on average 2-3 nights together a week, and occasionally a weekend together. Our circle of friends included both our families, and many people we worked with and associated with on a regular basis. We had a mutual admiration and a certain level of "feelings" for each other as well. One thing I liked about our "arrangement" too was the fact that we never took each other for granted. Unfortunately one or the other ends up wanting more, which is what happened in our case. She wanted more, but I couldn't and wouldn't commit any further. I wasn't happy about having to let her go, but that's the way it goes sometimes. We parted as friends, and still see each other around town occasionally. We even sat together outside Starbucks and had coffee one night. Not everything has to end badly.
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Old 09-15-2005, 09:11 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Hmmmmmmm..............
The penetrative kind?

No, but seriously, I call it a monogamous fuck-friend situation. For some, either due to time restraints or the need to be officially single, it works well.
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Old 09-16-2005, 06:54 AM   #29 (permalink)
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this is call "sexpal" to me. i have not so many sexpal but i am on super lookout for more to find.

you may send me sexy message if you want sexpal named me!
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Old 09-16-2005, 11:53 AM   #30 (permalink)
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You call it an exclusive (but dysfunctional) relationship. If you are only having sex with one person and they are only having sex with you - you are committed to them. Especially, since you have free reign to do whatever you want and you STILL remain exclusive to them.
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Old 09-16-2005, 01:35 PM   #31 (permalink)
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fuck buddies / friends with benefits, based on your description I think that's the most appropriate "label." Of course, as long as everyone involved is happy, who needs a label anyway?
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Old 09-18-2005, 10:11 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guccilvr
Friends with benefits
I was thinking the same thing.
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