tehblaed

Hi everyone, long time no see. Let's get down to the nitty and the gritty.

So I'm seeing this wonderful girl now, she's the best person in the universe (besides myself, of course We've been sexually active for awhile, and it's always been rather great. However, all is not well down there. Apparently I'm good at what I do, and what not, but she rarely ever comes.

We're both very open about this and I am completely understanding of her, but it's still a little disappointing. I am doing my best to help her along her way, to relax and take her mind off things; I make sure she's ready before I start, and once I do I try to take it as gradual and slow as possible, let her lead the way basically. She's come once or twice...but it's been under the influence of a certain mind altering substance and we'd really like to not rely on that to "relax".

Any tips for her? for myself?

SiN

Most important bit of information:

Can she bring herself to orgasm?

And ... I've seen this type of question a few times around here, perhaps try some search terms?

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tehblaed

Sorry about not searching, I made my way through a couple pages and couldn't find anything, forgot about the actual "search" feature ;\

Yes, she can, which is what makes me think this is definitely about her comfortableness and that sort of thing

Menoman

Is she the same age as you are?

I suspect at your age you probably don't live by yourself, or with her by yourselves.

A g/f I once had, had the same problem, and she could bring herself to come as well.

The thing that seemed to be the problem, was that we never had anyplace "Secure" to be sexually uhh explorative! So no matter where we did it, her house (parents) my house (parents), car (cops) there was a nervous tension.

The thing with me, was that excited me greatly, the thought of being caught by the cops, or her parents (I wasn't too excited about my own parents catching me, creepy!)

But with her, it was the opposite and her tension about being caught even when the likelyhood was so very slim, would not allow her to come.

So perhaps, if you got a motel room, where you know your safe from any intrusions. And if motels don't make you feel dirty (get a nice one, pay some good money!) Perhaps that could help you decide if that's the case.



But, if you do live by yourself and already have a safe place without intrusion... disregard my lengthy post!

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Koochy

I'm in the exact same boat tehblaed. On rare occasions I can bring my gf to orgasm with sex, but only when I have her at peak from oral sex.

All I advise on, is find out what she likes best, then focus everything on giving her exactly that.

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ktspktsp

It took my gf a few months before she could orgasm with me. Of course, I was getting better at it , but more importantly it just took her time to get comfortable (we were pretty much each other's firsts).

Also, it's all about the clitoral stimulation for her (and for most women from what I hear), so simple intercourse will not suffice, you'll have to rub her while having sex or go down on her (not while having sex though, that might be too difficult )

Johnny Rotten

Some women don't respond much if you tread too lighty. You may want to consider tearing her clothes off and fucking the shit out of her instead.

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"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

Rubyee

The comfort issue mentioned by ktspktsp could be very true. It took me a while when I started with someone new.

The advice mentioned by Johnny Rotten is also a good idea.

Now here are my two cents. Since the internet is ambiguous, I will tell you that I am a woman with many orgasms under my belt.

First things first- don't rush into things. It can take anywhere from five to fifteen minutes or more to get her to the point of climax. I suggest that you let her take the reins and do most of the work a couple of times and see what happens. This may or may not be hard for you, but hold out as long as you can.

Also, until the two of you get the hang of this, use outside influences. Vibrators used while having sex can really get things going. I have found that the easiest way to incorporate these is with the girl on her back controlling the vibrator and the man on his knees pumping away. If the idea of a vibrator in sex freaks you out, use a free hand to stimulate her clit instead.

If this doesn't sound good, try getting her to climax without penetration for a while. Fingers and tounges can do things that penises can't.

Ask her to tell you what she likes, or what she does to climax, and try to do that. Or, try to have a sex session with her telling you exactly what to do. Sometimes it is hard to come to climax with too many cooks in the kitchen. That analogy doesn't exactly fit this scenairo, but I am sure you can follow what I am saying.

In conclusion, these are some positions I used to come to orgasm with an ex who couldn't tell a clit from a lip. Most of these are girl on top. Have her straddle you while you are sitting in a chair. And try not to move. If she can come to orgasm herself, then she will be able to do it better if you let her have control. Also, an excellent way to do this is with you on your back, and her on top. This is not standard reverse missionary, because once she has you inside, she needs to close her legs so that the two of you have your legs together. You will need to support most of her weight. There isn't much in and out, but small, tight movement that leads to lots of clitoral stimulation and a sensation for the man that has been described as "being milked."

I hope that this helps. One last tip- don't keep asking her if she is almost there. It puts pressure on the situation and makes it feel like a race almost. Just relax and let her bring herself to climax.

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You don't know from fun.

mandy

i think im going to go with johnny rotten on that one.but also, you guys need to communicate with each other.let her know that you are willing to do anything to make her reach ultimate climax.

Johnny Pyro

Okay, makeout and kiss every part of her body avoiding the vagina. You know foreplay, with no vagina though. Do this for a while. Next, give her oral for at least 20 minutes. Crazy oral! Eat it like your starving! Your jaw should hurt. Prior to all of this, masturbate at least three times before you see her. You know, for stamina. Now its time, bang her untill her head falls off. Like a jackhammer! You should have enough stamina to go for a while. Go caveman on that pussy! Try different positions concentrating on how she reacts to each one. The only thing you should be thinking about is getting her to cum. If that doesn't work, I don't know dude.

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"From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell

deri

Pyro has it right. Focus on the foreplay, slowly making your way down, but teasing the whole time. By the time you get to the pussy you want her very wet and practically begging for you to bang her. Now you start the oral. You might want to look up some techniques, the alphabet is a good place to start. Don't forget to have fun though, that's the real point of the whole experience.