Ballzor

Yeah, I'm a little puzzled about the past 2 weeks and I'm sure some of you out there could help me straighten this one out.

Ok, so to sum it up. I went to Europe with a couple friends of mine, including this girl who for the year prior I had downright hated. She is a rather excentric person, very proud of all of the troubles in her life and is always in the mood to spill her life story even to strangers. Throughout the past year she wasted 3 of my good friends and has gone through countless other boyfriends. She sometimes cuts herself, and even on this very trip she took a cigarette to her leg, immediately showing it to us all.

In terms of the kind of girls I am attracted to, she is almost the complete opposite. There is nothing about her that should ever even draw me to her at all, and again, for a year I was repulsed by everything about her. So anyways, were travelling through Europe, and of course, Alcohol got involved. I could have told you where the night was heading that afternoon just by the signals being fired around. I never tried to attract her or even put forth any effort at all really. Funny cause with any and every girl I have ever known, this shit is a two player game.

Anyways, for the rest of the trip after that night, she was all over me, again, I held fast and never made any concious effort to attract or repel. I really was kind of blindsided and didnt know what to do or think. I was just along for the ride, by the end of the trip, this shit had gone on and off, always with alcohol acting as a conduite till the very last day. We talked about it, and both of us decided to just stop everything, cut it off completely and walk away. The next day it was like we had never even met, both went back to our respective circles and returned home. She does have a boyfriend, but apparently their relationship is open and he sleeps around with guys and girls and she does as well.

Am I understanding this correctly, 2 weeks of lust love and attraction, and at the end of it you get to walk away with no strings attached. It appears to me to be the absolute perfect relationship. I mean I'm not stupid, I was being used to an extent, but I'm not complaining. All of this with no emotional involvement, it seems all clean cut and perfect. My previous relationship lasted for about a month, and she was so emotionally attached that by the end of the month I was exausted, it made me sick to even look at her, it took me 2 hours to break up with her cause she wouldnt get out of my car :/

But now, a few days after the trip, I've kind of got it lingering over my head. I know that I could never date this girl for reasons explained above, and I dont really have any strong feelings for her. But Im affraid that if I dont do something to shift my mental focus she's just going to burrow deeper into my brain and I'll end up brainfucked.

I really cant fucking process this one at all. Basically for those 2 weeks I couldnt decide if I was attracted to her or not, and by the end we broke it off completely. Anyone have any insight into what the hell happened, cause seirously it kind of just jumped on me then was gone before I could get to my feet and think it through. Thx

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Le Berger, Le Mouton, Ce qui vous mangerait? Je ne sais pas. -let it all drop cause fuck it I guess we lost-
<Danao>I am french so excuse my langage..
<Krost> ^^
<Krost> I'm American so excuse my president.

Squishor

It seems like she was using you to patch her damaged self-worth, which it looks like you figured out. You went along for the ride but found that no-strings sex isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be because you're human and have feelings. you're not a completely cold person so even though you don't like her that much, on some level you appreciate that you made this connection with another person. Then again you may be a little disgusted with yourself for cheapening yourself that way. That's what it's like to get used by someone - it happens a lot. As much as you might want to just go with it and enjoy the free sex, it's not always that easy or simple. Sounds like a "live and learn" thing to me.

tiltedbc

What happened? In a word... convenience. She was looking to use someone for some fun and decided it was you. Count yourself lucky if you didn't spend too much money, catch a disease or get her pregnant. If you managed to get any sex... chaulk it up as a "wild" experience. Just don't go back for more. period.

You're just going through what I call the "flashback" stage after a short fling or one-night stand. One minute you're grinning and remembering the sensations, and the next you're hammering your head saying "why did I do that??" and hoping nobody finds out.

Where'd you go in Europe?

Sage

Yeah, she just wanted some nookie and got some and that's it. She sounds utterly disgusting and crude, and also mentally fucked in all the wrong ways. STAY AWAY!! She sounds like she likes to know she can get attention from anyone at any time.

Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are not your relationship(s), and go find a nice, STD-free, un-fucked up girl to be with... you'll be happy

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tecoyah

You were used....accept it, maybe even enjoy it....as if you already havent. We cant tell you any more than you already know. You likely needed this more than she did (only you know why)...or I could just be drunk...cause I am.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

iamabanana

I think you're still attracted to her because she's not the type of person you're used to dating. You should try to let it roll over, though. Someone like her needs alot of psychological help, and it's best to not get involved another time. It's also not a good idea to even talk about it with her.

One word comes to mind here: Regret. :P

Vincentt

Maybe because she knew you hated her she wanted to prove she could still have sex with you.

I recall a maybe equally troubled girl once telling me a story "There was this guy that everyone said I couldn't get, and by the end of the night I was giving him a blow job."

My responce was "wtf?" did they give you a cookie?

I guess it opens up a new set of lines, have your friend go up to a girl you were talking to at a party saying "Sorry but you wouldn't have a chance with him." And see if that makes her take the bait..

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Rodney

Your mind doesn't want her, but your body does. It's not that simple, but the part of you that's still feeling an attachment isn't the part that you solve math problems with. It's the part that misses a warm body by its side at night, and sex and physical tenderness and wants back the person who gave it that. These are basic urges. Resist them and move on, and they'll go away.

But now you know why one night stands and convenience sex just don't work for a lot of people. The mind says, "time to move on, as we agreed," but the deep down primitive feelings are still yearning for the physical connection.