Ballzor

Yeah, I'm a little puzzled about the past 2 weeks and I'm sure some of you out there could help me straighten this one out.

Ok, so to sum it up. I went to Europe with a couple friends of mine, including this girl who for the year prior I had downright hated. She is a rather excentric person, very proud of all of the troubles in her life and is always in the mood to spill her life story even to strangers. Throughout the past year she wasted 3 of my good friends and has gone through countless other boyfriends. She sometimes cuts herself, and even on this very trip she took a cigarette to her leg, immediately showing it to us all.

In terms of the kind of girls I am attracted to, she is almost the complete opposite. There is nothing about her that should ever even draw me to her at all, and again, for a year I was repulsed by everything about her. So anyways, were travelling through Europe, and of course, Alcohol got involved. I could have told you where the night was heading that afternoon just by the signals being fired around. I never tried to attract her or even put forth any effort at all really. Funny cause with any and every girl I have ever known, this shit is a two player game.

Anyways, for the rest of the trip after that night, she was all over me, again, I held fast and never made any concious effort to attract or repel. I really was kind of blindsided and didnt know what to do or think. I was just along for the ride, by the end of the trip, this shit had gone on and off, always with alcohol acting as a conduite till the very last day. We talked about it, and both of us decided to just stop everything, cut it off completely and walk away. The next day it was like we had never even met, both went back to our respective circles and returned home. She does have a boyfriend, but apparently their relationship is open and he sleeps around with guys and girls and she does as well.

Am I understanding this correctly, 2 weeks of lust love and attraction, and at the end of it you get to walk away with no strings attached. It appears to me to be the absolute perfect relationship. I mean I'm not stupid, I was being used to an extent, but I'm not complaining. All of this with no emotional involvement, it seems all clean cut and perfect. My previous relationship lasted for about a month, and she was so emotionally attached that by the end of the month I was exausted, it made me sick to even look at her, it took me 2 hours to break up with her cause she wouldnt get out of my car :/

But now, a few days after the trip, I've kind of got it lingering over my head. I know that I could never date this girl for reasons explained above, and I dont really have any strong feelings for her. But Im affraid that if I dont do something to shift my mental focus she's just going to burrow deeper into my brain and I'll end up brainfucked.

I really cant fucking process this one at all. Basically for those 2 weeks I couldnt decide if I was attracted to her or not, and by the end we broke it off completely. Anyone have any insight into what the hell happened, cause seirously it kind of just jumped on me then was gone before I could get to my feet and think it through. Thx

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Le Berger, Le Mouton, Ce qui vous mangerait? Je ne sais pas. -let it all drop cause fuck it I guess we lost-
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<Krost> ^^
<Krost> I'm American so excuse my president.