Offkilter

An kind of interesting topic was raised last night in conversation and I'm interested in some more opinions.
Is it more likely that a girl would try some sort of sexual flirting / experimentation with another girl than it would be a guy trying the same thing with another guy?
We only had our own thoughts to go by and mine were that I'd never go solo with another guy in any way shape or form and my girlfriend said she could never imagine doing 'it' with another woman. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-gay or anything, just personal preference.
The mass media seems to have made it almost trendy for two girls to kiss passionately, take the Britney / Madonna MTV thing for example, so does this influence the way that normal people think about it?
On the other hand, supposedly guys have more of a sex drive so does that make it easier for them to experiment?
I'd say this is more prevelant in the formative years of working out your own sexualilty earlier on in your life during the more 'confused about sex' stages.
Thoughts anyone?

__________________
That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man,
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
The Two Gentleman of Verona. ACT III Scene 1.

cellophanedeity

I have a feeling that this is elsewhere, but I'm not sure...

But, as you said, ladies are more likely to be encouraged to flirt, kiss, and physically "appreciate" eachother than men are. Also it's apparently cool to like other girls right now, whereas guys don't get the same encouragement.

So to not risk their "manliness" a lot of guys won't just experiment with eachother in the limelight the same way some girls do. I'm not saying it's right or even infallible, but it's how I see it.

Which is too bad really.

__________________
who am I to refuse the universe?
-Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers

Anomaly_

I think the tendency to fall back on "society tells us to do X" is too simplistic. Human biology, especially as it concerns male sexuality and its (lack of) fluidity, cannot be ignored. This passage from "Journal of Social Issues" expresses this pretty well:
So while I don't doubt that the media's openess to female bisexuality is somewhat influential, I don't think males are less experimental because of a lack of male bisexual content. Rather than looking at it male rigidity as unfortunate, I would just accept it as a fact of life--in a very literal sense.

Acetylene

I'd buy that--what I find attractive varies radically depending on my associations. Like (this is a deliberately absurd example to illustrate my point) if I had good sex while the song "thriller" was playing on enough different occasions, then pretty soon the song itself would be sexy and attractive even though there was no actual pleasure involved.

__________________
There's no justice. There's just us.

MSD

Hmm, I could have sworn that this thread has been done repeatedly in the past.

Gilda

I discovered that I liked girls more tha guys as a result of experimenting with another girl in college. I think part of it comes from girls being more free to be casually physically affectionate with each other. I chaperoned a dance Friday evening, and there were occasionally two or three girls dancing a fast dance together; this is very common, and nobody thinks twice about it. I've never seen two guys or a group of guys do the same. Girls will touch each other on the arm, or shoulder, or give casual hugs to other girls much more easily than guys do. Guys tend to express physical affection with each other through mild physical aggression, or horseplay.

Being willing to experiment may be an extension of the ways casual female friends interact with each other.

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

Sweetpea

I think that society is more accepting of women experimenting and often this translates into women being more open about same sex exploring . . .

i think that more men do it just as often, but are more private about it, if society was more open about guy-guy exploring, we would see the same prevelance as in women.

thanks,

Sweetpea

__________________
Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

Jay You Dee

Ooh, this reminds me of a party I was at last night. Well, more like 8 of my friends getting shitfaced in his apartment because we were bored.

My girlfriend and I hang out with 2 of our friends that are married all the time.. sort of a double date thing. Well, we were all piled on the couch (me and the guy drunk - his wife and my g/f were sober), and I was like,"Hey, you guys should kiss, it'd be hot." They both gave me this wierd look and seemed offended, but then (with the help of my drunken aggravation) they did it. About 30 seconds later, they kissed again, and again, and again. They said it was the first time either of them had ever kissed a girl, or grabbed another girl's breast for that matter... and that they really enjoyed it. Obviously, I was excited. Then, the best thing ever happened... I got a kiss from my girlfriend and this dude's wife at the same time on the mouth and since I was so drunk, I was in heaven it seemed.

More girls need to try this, because I'm a sick freak.

But now, turn this around... if my girlfriend had said me and the other guy need to kiss, there would have been a definite, resounding "Hell no!"

It's kinda wierd how that works out, I don't understand it myself.

chickentribs

I agree with sweetpea, I have been suprised at the number of guys I know who have gotten drunk and/or horny and messed around with other men, including some the most die-hard skirt chasers you have ever met! My gay friends joke about last call at the gay bar is when the straight guys who struck out with the women show up...

I find it amusing that women who "experiment" are chic and hip while men are labled a closet case, especially because "hip" is practically defined by gay men in our society! In the age of the Queer Eye, it seems men should be anxious to have the gay fling to help impress the ladies - "I'm not just another metrosexual wannabee, I was antiquing with Phillip just last month! I have Gay Street Cred!"

__________________
Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
- Shakespeare, W.

insidious_machinae

This sort of thing was discussed in part, in Hal's thread: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=86741

burnRedDress

I doubt it. History has shown many a period where males had male servant/lovers on the side, but then it was socially acceptable.
Today, society supresses men's courage to explore bisexuality I think.

martinguerre

that, and if girls want to experiment, they can be categorized in to a hetero-centrist framework of lipstick lesbianism by outside observers. the already objectified and commodified female body can touch and be sexual with another female body and not disrupt heterocentrism...

of course, homophobia also has a myriad of "or elses" and negative stereotypes for women whose sexuality does end up challenging these assumptions...but at least initially, there is social cover for female/female sexual experiementation.

__________________
For God so loved creation, that God sent God's only Son that whosoever believed should not perish, but have everlasting life.

-John 3:16

EULA

I'm in the camp of women are more likely to be "out" about experimenting.

Anomaly: That study looks all "scholarly," but I don't agree with it. Did you know that most gay men don't stay that way their whole lives? (just a random example). That study seemed too focused on women.

I agree that mens' sexuality is more reflexive, but something must be said about the anxiety behind homophobia that goes on with most guys I know. Here's an old writeup on Badsubjects. Believing that mens' sexuality is reflexive can also mean that they don't really care about what their fucking as long as they get off.

Glory's Sun

There are a couple threads like this but I don't have time to search for them atm. That being said, I think it's all a matter of what society pressures us into believing. Most guys have no issues with seeing 2 women making out/having sex or whatever but when it comes to 2 guys it's disgusting and wrong

I also think that alot of girls do it as a fad. It's the "in" thing to do so they makeout with other girls at clubs or whatever just for the attention.

burnRedDress

That's another thing - guys more often than not are aroused by the idea of 2 girls together. Girls (I think) aren't all that openminded to the concept of 2 guys together. True?

Glory's Sun

I'm not entirely sure on this. I know girls who like seeing it and think it's hot, and I know girls who think it's disgusting. Oddly enough (of the ones I know) the ones who think it's hot are admittedly bisexual and engage in same sex relations and the ones who think it's gross are either passively bisexual or completely straight.

YKK

I am male.

Society engineers individuals to be typecast into roles which they may or may not feel comfortable in. I, myself, have had numerous encounters with men, and not all of them gay. I believe most men have had one or more experiences like this and may or may not be open to discussing it. Once one has realized that

SOCIETY IS A MASS OF DROOLING IDIOTS

one can then begin to seperate the inherent self from the carried (or taught) self.

__________________
We're all black sheep and we know it..
So don't fsck it up for the rest.
-- Sick of It All; Yours Truly

Golgothas

I think men experiment about just as much, they just won't admit it.

noodles

i have no clue, but my personal experience tends to strongly lean toward females, yes.
i personally know many more bi/gay girls than bi/gay guys and many more girls who aren't necessarily bi/gay, but have made out with girls, and things of the like which could be considered mild 'experimentation' (maybe because i live in the deep south and girls are more "acceptible" than guys from a religious and biggoted standpoint)
half my exes are semi-openly bi, the other half have at least done something with their same sex.

__________________

Martel

IMO women are "pretty" and men are generally not... This leads me to think that two women together is basically "pretty times two" while two men together is lacking most of any prettiness to be had.

__________________
Anamnesis

ratbastid

Jamie: What is it with you and lesbian porn?
Paul: What's not to like? It's naked, it's fun, and I agree with both of them!

--Mad About You

wubbawubba

we are all a little curious. guys just have it beatin into their heads that homosexuality = unmanlyness.