04-23-2005, 03:21 PM | #1 (permalink) |
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blow job etiquette?
just curious on what other's perceptions are on etiquette when your girl goes down on you. i was thinking about it last night, and i've never really heard of any do's or don'ts from my friends and so i was wondering if there is some kind of unwritten or unspoken rules between a man and a women when it comes to blowjobs.
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04-23-2005, 03:58 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Four of Wands
Location: Somewhere entirely too hot.
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From a woman's point of view...really, anything goes, but if BJ's are a fairly new thing in the relationship, please don't grab my head and jam your cock down my throat. Now, later on in the relationship...well... *ahem* But, by then, you both should be fairly comfortable with what's cool and what's not.
Two cents from a chick.
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04-23-2005, 04:09 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Rawr!
Location: Edmontania
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04-23-2005, 04:22 PM | #7 (permalink) |
Americow, the Beautiful
Location: Washington, D.C.
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Yeah, definitely don't grab a lady's head and make it go in any deeper than she is making it go herself. We don't like to choke when we're giving head. Also, it's generally polite to verbally give a warning that you're about to come so that she can decide what she wants to do with it (or if she wants it in her mouth at all). Those are the only two things that I reasonably expect from new partners. Of course, "etiquette" like this mostly gets thrown out the window once you're in a relationship and you know each other better.
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04-23-2005, 06:08 PM | #11 (permalink) | |
Four of Wands
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04-23-2005, 06:17 PM | #12 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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04-23-2005, 06:38 PM | #14 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: under a rock
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I think the reason why sometimes girls don't like their head touched is because they can't tell if the touch is affection or suggestion. Like, sometimes I know Kel is just being affectionate and all is well, but other times like if he rests his hand too heavily on my head I think he is trying to get me to do something. Sometimes that leads to confusion, especially when what he was trying to express what "I like that, don't stop"!
Definately warn your girl before you come. My ex once failed to do so and shot directly down my throat and into my lungs--MAN that burned! I will also echo that it's bad to push on your girl's head becaus if you make her gag, she might throw up. Do you really want puke on your dick?? This is another thing my ex failed to consider, with extremely unpleasant consequences. Finally, and this should be obvious but apparently it's not (ex again): it is NOT cute to try to force your partner to give you head. This goes for both physical and psychological methods of coersion (sp?). Whining that "you have needs" when you already get a blown several times a week is really annoying. So is physically shoving your dick in someone's face. So is refusing to do something unless you are promised blowjobs in advance (example: "I won't bother to drive all the way to your house unless I get a blow job.") Sorry if I seem bitter but, like I said, apparently not everyone knows this is bad behavior.
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04-23-2005, 08:18 PM | #15 (permalink) |
Frontal Lobe
Location: California
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I know everyone has already said this but it bears repeating - please no head pushing! I've had some particularly bad experiences with this because I have a rather small mouth. I order to protect his skin from my teeth, I might be sort of shielding it with my lips. Then, if he pushes on my head, I might practically bite through my own lips! Then my mouth fills up with blood and I'm gagging too...a really bad thing all around. The alternate scenario involves me taking a big chunk of skin off his penis with the aforementioned teeth, also a really bad thing. You just have to trust that she's doing her best and ask if you want something different, not shove.
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04-23-2005, 08:19 PM | #16 (permalink) |
Location: Iceland
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Personally, I do not like having my head touched when I am giving a blow job, though I wouldn't mind him gently playing with my hair, come to think of it. Just don't like any kind of forcing or power-display, etc. I also really like hearing that he is turned on.. noises and stuff (esp. since I make all kinds of crazy sounds when he is going down on me)... and if I am doing something well, I like to know that so that I can continue doing that. I think warning before cumming is essential, though... and also not expecting that she will swallow, and being accepting in general of whatever she wants to do with it.
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04-23-2005, 08:46 PM | #17 (permalink) |
Dopefish
Location: the 'Ville
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I need a certain pressure to cum from a bj...I always wonder if its wrong or bad to either help myself along if shes not using her hand, or to help her increase the pressure if she is. Feeling good from a bj is one thing, but getting off is another.
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04-23-2005, 08:57 PM | #18 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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You might not enjoy the sensation of teeth clamping down on yourpenis if you push her head down and she's not expecting it.. Using your hand is OK if you need that -- or tell her before hand what you like... if you don't tell us -- we don't always know...
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04-24-2005, 08:07 AM | #19 (permalink) |
TFP Mad Scientist
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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My advice to the men is to keep the dick clean---if you know you're gonna get head, or if you even suspect it might happen, take the time to wash it with soap and water so it's clean when she sucks it.
Ladies... no teeth!!!
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04-24-2005, 04:40 PM | #20 (permalink) |
Fade out
Location: in love
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Guys, as been mentioned by almost all above: don't push the girls head down, we know where your cock is and it just comes off rude and annoying . . . let her do her thing, and just sit back and enjoy . . . we don't need guidance
ditto on the hygiene, if it's clean, i'll give head all night . . . moral: keep it clean Sweetpea
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04-24-2005, 04:48 PM | #21 (permalink) |
loving the curves
Location: my Lady's manor
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say please. And thankyou.
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04-24-2005, 04:56 PM | #22 (permalink) | |
Insane
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I think that if she and I are going to be having some fun, that we should be enthusiastic about getting to perform the act on the other and not look at it as a job (with the manners), but as fun-to-do. But then again sometimes I don't and I actually do thank her (sincerely). How weird.
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04-24-2005, 05:03 PM | #23 (permalink) |
Submit to me, you know you want to
Location: Lilburn, Ga
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Please be sure to let her know if what she's doing isnt working for you (in a nice way). If she does something you dont like and you dont let her know, thats doing an injustice and you'll have to deal with it everytime she gives you one.
I also agree with the grabbing the head and shoving your dick down her mouth thing.
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04-24-2005, 05:15 PM | #24 (permalink) |
It's All About The Ass!!
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
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Shave your balls dude..if not at least trim your pubes down short. No one touched on that yet. It's been said many times girls don't like hair in their mouth or in the way and such and appreciate the grooming. Keeping a spit cup handy might be cool too.
Also make sure she's comfortable...see what she likes best. Sitting while you stand, kneeling (If the floor is hard give her pillows to kneel on)..If she wants you to lay down for it, etc. She'll be more enthusiastic about it if she's comfortable. Asta!!
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04-24-2005, 05:33 PM | #25 (permalink) | |
loving the curves
Location: my Lady's manor
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04-24-2005, 08:00 PM | #26 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Fort Worth, TX
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If she's good... let her know it, let her know it, and let her know it again. Girls like to make us happy as much as we like to make them. She'll to lots more if she knows you truely love it (and give back in return).
If she's bad give her pointers. Not like do this or do that... say things like "baby you feel awsome... but I love it when you <fill in blank>. As said, give warning before cumming, dont push down on her head (unless she says she likes it), and keep it clean. |
04-24-2005, 10:46 PM | #27 (permalink) |
Frontal Lobe
Location: California
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Oh yes, being clean is a huge plus. And positive encouragement vastly rewarding. I don't know about the warning before cumming part - I can always tell but maybe it's a good idea. Also - it can get a bit messy at times, since there might be various juices all over har face...it would be very nice to hand her a washcloth or something afterwards if she wants to clean up a little.
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04-24-2005, 11:33 PM | #28 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Cleveland, TN
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I remember my first blowjob (from my current girlfriend), it was great, and I learned so much that day... about her though.
1) She was offended when I warned her that I was about to cum, and she might want to back up a little bit. She took offense because she thought I didn't *want* to cum in her mouth. From then on I've just let her know - I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND HER BY NOT CUMMING IN HER MOUTH. (Jesus, I love my girlfriend more than life itself) 2) Don't use her ears as handlebars. I personally didn't do this, she forewarned me a few days before she gave me head the first time. 3) Don't squeeze her head with your legs, that'll piss her off. (But, the reason that happened: Ladies, plez don't suck on the tip really hard while spinning your tongue around it.. it feels GOOD, but it's too good and most guys I know generally go into a fetal position from that) 4) Yeah, shave... I hate doing it, but it ups the head from once a week to multiples a day, so it's worth it. 5) If you smoke, offer her one... Okay, so that's just the wierd relationship me and my girlfriend had. But there's something about smokin' a cig (or a half pack) while getting head. Especially if she's smoking too... Sorry, my life revolves around smoking 6) The main thing though, is give her a kiss afterwards. It's not always that pleasant (unless you're into that!) but do it. If I roll over and give her a big kiss afterwards, she thinks she's done the best job ever on the head - and generally, she's correct. Most of that's just shit that's happened between me and my girlfriend, and I don't know if it will really apply to all. God I love head! |
04-25-2005, 04:36 AM | #29 (permalink) |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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About the shave thing... like anything, this is a personal preference. Some women don't want you to shave. My wife hates it. She says it makes me look like a little boy and she wants to fuck and suck a man.
I also had a girlfriend who hated the smell of my soap. She wanted me musky (almost dirty) when she would go down on me... it drove her crazy and she would burrow her face into my crotch... Aside from forcing yourself down her throat, there are no hard and fast rules about getting head. Cimmunication is the only rule... but then again that is the main rule of sex and life in general.
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04-25-2005, 06:24 AM | #30 (permalink) |
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
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Here are a few basics without any extra words thrown in:
-Holding hair back is OK, holding/moving her head isn't -Warn her before you come -Wash down there -Hairy/hairless, make sure she likes it -Return the favor -If it's in her mouth, it's not going to kill you to kiss her and get a tiny bit in yours |
04-25-2005, 03:26 PM | #31 (permalink) |
Psycho
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My girl doesn't mind me putting my hand on her head - I don't jam it down her throat or anything - I just put my hand on the back of her head, sometimes play with her hair. If she is at the right angle I sometimes massage/rub her neck, even around her ears a bit. She seems to like that. Haven't heard any complaints.
I always like to give a warning about when I am about to cum. Funny story (kind of, at least) - My gf was down there doing her business and I told her I was about to cum, so she takes it out of her mouth and points me down toward her chest. Well, from that little exchange, I completely lost all urge to cum for whatever reason. She is stroking it, but it isn't working, so she goes back down for a bit and then the same thing happens, so it is back in her mouth again...then I just completely lost control and cummed right in her mouth. She was so pissed. I couldn't help myself, though...honest mistake. I think the etiquette of a blow job changes depending on the mood of the girl. Sometimes my GF likes it down her throat or on her face - heck, one time she wanted it in her hair, which was kind of odd. One girl I was with liked it down her lower back on occassion. Sometimes my GF likes me to grab her head and "fuck" her mouth - I'm not a big fan of this myself, sometimes I hit her teeth...that's a mood killer...incissor to the dick.
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04-25-2005, 03:32 PM | #32 (permalink) | |
Fade out
Location: in love
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but i love to hear it when he says . . "god baby, that was amazing, thank you." it's sweet and i like to hear it and no, it doesn't make me feel like a whore sweetpea
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04-25-2005, 04:11 PM | #33 (permalink) |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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I agree with Sweetpea--I love getting a thank you. Compliments are also welcome. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but I think I'm a rare one--I'm always looking to improve my technique. So unless she invites you to give such criticism, refrain.
As for the shaving thing, that really is a matter of personal preference. I don't like a guy shaven...blech. And depending on the day, I may want you dirty or clean. But the thank you is the biggie...that and the pushing--everyone has said don't push down on her head, but here's another note: don't thrust up! It's just as bad!
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04-25-2005, 04:53 PM | #34 (permalink) |
It's All About The Ass!!
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
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The world needs more women like TFP women! That includes the wifes of some of the men!
Asta!!
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"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!! |
04-25-2005, 04:54 PM | #35 (permalink) | |
Junk
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04-25-2005, 05:03 PM | #36 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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A little chivalry is a good thing.. warm washcloth.. a drink...
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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04-25-2005, 05:09 PM | #37 (permalink) |
loving the curves
Location: my Lady's manor
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I was just thinking I'd yet to see someone mention cleanup - the times I've been around spillage I've gently swabbed up the more noticable areas using the handy kleenex box. I guess I've never been treated to a properly orchestrated blowjob with all the fixin's
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04-25-2005, 05:21 PM | #39 (permalink) |
It's All About The Ass!!
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
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I did mention a spit cup...although I got a feeling that for most of the women here they'd see the empty cup, swallow, then fill it up with some beer
Asta!!
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"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!! |
04-25-2005, 05:52 PM | #40 (permalink) | |
loving the curves
Location: my Lady's manor
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Quote:
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And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca |
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