Why do I still Masturbate? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Garcon · 09-10-2003, 01:49 PM

I'm currently in a very strong relationship with a beautiful woman who is usually very accomodating when it comes to sex. We have our ups and downs but our sex life is usually healthy. We explore our sexuality and both of us are happy to avoid any of the swinging stuff (though we sometimes go to strip clubs where we buy each other lap dances). She is by far the best sexual partner I've ever hand and she has said the same about me.

My problem is that I often find myself very aroussed late at night and she is often too tired to have sex. When this happens, I often end up masturbating, usually with some porn, and always by myself.

Why is it that with all the great sex in my life, I still feel the need to masturbate? I'm no sex addict and feel very satisfied with our sex life but I just can't seem to get past the masturbating. As all guys know, masturbation feels much different than actual sex, but the final sensation feels that same to me.

Anyone got any ideas or pointers?

Flesh · 09-10-2003, 01:52 PM

masturbation is a way of life!

firebirdta · 09-10-2003, 02:06 PM

I've found that it doesn't matter how much sex you get, you'll always crave more. Masturbation is able to fill in when you can't actually have sex. Embrace it!

bundy · 09-10-2003, 02:07 PM

because you´re human.
and masturbation is natural.

anti fishstick · 09-10-2003, 02:07 PM

there is nothing wrong with masturbating while in a relationship. i find it a necessary part of my sexuality, with or without you.

Swimalum · 09-10-2003, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by firebirdta
I've found that it doesn't matter how much sex you get, you'll always crave more. Masturbation is able to fill in when you can't actually have sex. Embrace it!

I have to agree... I was in a relationship where I had more than enough, but I always found myself where you're at.....

Garcon · 09-10-2003, 02:13 PM

Ok, so of all of you who said masturbation is natural and good (which I don't disagree with), how many told their gf's that they masturbate alone?

Gelfling · 09-10-2003, 02:36 PM

I'm a girl and get lots of great sex from my bf, but I still masturbate a few times a week, but its usually cause he isn't around. He knows I do and doesn't care, just like I know he does, but I really don't mind.

anti fishstick · 09-10-2003, 02:44 PM

i dont care if a boyfriend masturbates. i like it

yournamehere · 09-10-2003, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Garcon
Ok, so of all of you who said masturbation is natural and good (which I don't disagree with), how many told their gf's that they masturbate alone?

Better alone than with one of her friends, I would think.

Garcon · 09-10-2003, 03:00 PM

I guess part of the reason I asked the follow up question is because we're going to be apart for a couple months (I'm getting tranferred and she won't be moving until later) and I don't know if I should tell her now after a year of being together that I masturbate alone. We've masturbated together on occation (hell, she just gave me a great bj/hj a couple days ago), but she doesn't know that I do it alone.

nowthen · 09-10-2003, 03:16 PM

Well, no offence, but I expect she already knows.... us guys masturbate, end of story. I don't think there can be many women on the face of the planet that are not aware of that, especially since I notice in my girlfriends magazines that at least one of them is running an article on that very thing each month!

meff · 09-10-2003, 03:28 PM

Bah your a man you're gonna masturbate! Try masturbating with your girl or masturbating each other, maybe that'll calm the urge for awhile? It really helps me and my wife, plus its hot as hell

Marius1 · 09-10-2003, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Garcon
My problem is that I often find myself very aroussed late at night and she is often too tired to have sex. When this happens, I often end up masturbating, usually with some porn, and always by myself.

I do this.

Look at it this way. If you didn't you'd have trouble sleeping as you'd be all wound up due to not having released.

Having a release on the other hand releases chemicals which help you sleep. Hence the reason some men fall straight asleep after sex.

I'm sure your g/f would rather you get a good nights sleep than be grumpy due to lack of sleep.

People have different arrousal cycles. Their methods where you can get them to sync. I'm no sex therapist so won't advise any further on on how to accomplish that.

Unfortunately some of that is differences in the sexes (gods twisted sense of humour again). Men are most sexualy primed first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Women generally aren't.

Hey gals perhaps you could clue us into what times of day you a generally most arroused and we can see if there is a pattern?

yoshi · 09-10-2003, 04:17 PM

It's fun and different. My husband and I both do it together and alone. Sometimes you just need to do--not from lack of sex or not because it isn't good.

mrquackers · 09-10-2003, 06:34 PM

I wouldn't worry much about it. The stimulation you get from your own hand is different than you do with someone else. It's not better or worse, but different - and it helps spice up your sex life.

sexymama · 09-10-2003, 07:04 PM

Quote:

I wouldn't worry much about it. The stimulation you get from your own hand is different than you do with someone else. It's not better or worse, but different - and it helps spice up your sex life.

And this really isn't a male/female issue. Woman also get different stimulation from their own hands.

Of course she knows you masturbate and hopefully she masturbates too. Enjoy and celebrate your sexuality -- don't hide it!

bermuDa · 09-10-2003, 09:26 PM

we all need sexual release and someone else isn't always around to give you a hand (har har). masturbation is healthy and natural, don't be ashamed of what almost everyone else does too.

i8one2 · 09-10-2003, 09:33 PM

Masturbation just feels good.

Holo · 09-11-2003, 08:11 AM

Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy."

What's good for Caesar...

iamjero · 09-11-2003, 08:19 AM

I have the exact same situation. I get almost all the sex I ask for from my woman and so does she, but I still masterbate several times a week. Shell be laying in bed adn Ill get up sit at the computer and handle my buisness. That way I dont get the build up that can lead to unpleasent situations, like arguing over little stuff. Sometimes shell come over and help, but mostly I go it alone.
Its like the others said... havin a wank is a beatuiful thing, enjoy it!

mattevil · 09-11-2003, 08:48 AM

masterbation is alright. it's a better release than drugs and your designed to build up a species so a guys sex drive is normally high.if you didnt masterbate you'd go crazy man. need to "scratch that itch" especially if you got in a "no sex tonight " fight. i wouldnt tell her there is no need and she already knows.

skysooner · 09-11-2003, 09:26 AM

The only time I won't masturbate is if I know we are going to be having sex later on. This makes it harder for me to come during sex when she might be chafing a bit. It is strange though. I will masturbate at home on a night even after we have sex and on nights we don't have sex, but I have a really difficult time doing it when I am travelling. I think this has to do with the fact I feel more sexual at home when I am close to my spouse, and I feel less horny on the road when I'm away from her.

Redlemon · 09-11-2003, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Garcon
Ok, so of all of you who said masturbation is natural and good (which I don't disagree with), how many told their gf's that they masturbate alone?

If she's too tired and I'm revved up, I'll sometimes say "OK, I'll just be taking care of myself then" and masturbate in the bed next to her. She has no problem with that.

Garcon · 09-11-2003, 09:48 AM

I guess I'll just have to discuss it with her. I told her last night that while we're apart, I'll be doing lots of masturbating and I expect she'll do the same. She's got her toys and I've got... well, my hand. It still doesn't beat (no pun intended) the real thing!

Battlefield · 09-11-2003, 10:28 AM

Sex is like lays potato chips. Once you have sex you crave it even more. I find myself wanking it nearly everyday since I met my current gf...prior to that it was 2 - 3 a week.

If shes tired shes tired, try not waiting until you get aroused late at night, do a pre-emptive strike to clear the pipes.

cynic · 09-11-2003, 11:20 AM

My gf lives in canada, i havent seen her since june. I wank more than is sensible.

Redlemon · 09-11-2003, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Garcon
I guess I'll just have to discuss it with her. I told her last night that while we're apart, I'll be doing lots of masturbating and I expect she'll do the same. She's got her toys and I've got... well, my hand. It still doesn't beat (no pun intended) the real thing!

Don't forget phone sex! Call her up and masturbate with her!

Garcon · 09-11-2003, 12:48 PM

Phone sex is gonna have to be a must! She's a little shy with the dirty talk but when she gets going, look out!!!

BTW, I wanted to thank everyone here for being so supportive and letting me know that masturbating is something besides abnormal. I'm very new here but you've all made me feel like I'm part of the community. I haven't even been flamed yet!!!

Forever · 09-14-2003, 06:29 PM

I masturbate because honestly, I get the best orgasms that way. They're very very good with my boyfriend, and very emotional also, but I know how to work my body better than he does.

He does it too, btw.

Slims · 09-15-2003, 06:42 PM

It's normal, dont' worry about it.

ratbastid · 09-15-2003, 06:44 PM

There's nothing wrong with you that isn't also wrong with the other 6.5 billion people on the planet.

meff · 09-15-2003, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ratbastid
There's nothing wrong with you that isn't also wrong with the other 6.5 billion people on the planet.

Heh, couldn't have said it better than that.

djm · 09-16-2003, 02:31 AM

There's a billion people in China who have never heard of masturbation, thanks to a century of Maoist rule.

Fenster · 09-16-2003, 08:17 AM

Quote:

There's a billion people in China who have never heard of masturbation, thanks to a century of Maoist rule.

That must be what's wrong with those fucking governments over there then. No wonder Kim Jong is such a lunatic (yes, I know he is North Korea's pres. same ballpark as China)

punx1325 · 09-16-2003, 03:05 PM

Like everyone else said, you like beating off. And everyone else does to. There is nothing wrong with that. Masturbation is the self-exploration of yourself. There's no point in stopping, it's not like you are cheating on her. Embrace what God gave you, it's there for a reason.

02-14-2005, 08:47 PM

I read an article in Penthouse that said we masturbate frequently to purge the old tired sperm in place of the new fresh replacements. It's a survival of the fittest tequnique that Mother Nature gave us. You're gonna jerk off to keep your sperms up to date before the next guy. Simple. GO with it. It's fun.

Suave · 02-14-2005, 09:18 PM

Well this would coincide rather well with the findings of the study mentioned in the recent thread that "love" is simply an indirect form of our extensive self-love and egotism. You may be indirectly loving yourself through your better half, but nothing beats (haha beats) directly loving yourself for that coporeal feeling of self-sufficiency.

ironmaiden7o7 · 02-14-2005, 09:29 PM

Masterbating is only natural. No matter how serious you are in a relationship and how much sex you have, there are usually urges to masterbate, especially when that person is sleeping or isn't around. It's a part of life. There is nothing wrong with it. However, if you were masterbating instead of having sex with her, then, that would've been a problem.

loganmule · 02-14-2005, 09:36 PM

I don't know about you, but I still masturbate because I can. As Seinfeld said, it's like shaving for us guys. Your woman surely is aware that you do it, and if it bothered her, you'd know it. I think the key is to opt for intimacy with your SO first...afterwards, or if your SO isn't around, either of you should be free to take a "hands on" approach to relieving sexual tension.

09-10-2003, 01:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
Garcon Upright Location: Los Angeles, CA	Why do I still Masturbate? I'm currently in a very strong relationship with a beautiful woman who is usually very accomodating when it comes to sex. We have our ups and downs but our sex life is usually healthy. We explore our sexuality and both of us are happy to avoid any of the swinging stuff (though we sometimes go to strip clubs where we buy each other lap dances). She is by far the best sexual partner I've ever hand and she has said the same about me. My problem is that I often find myself very aroussed late at night and she is often too tired to have sex. When this happens, I often end up masturbating, usually with some porn, and always by myself. Why is it that with all the great sex in my life, I still feel the need to masturbate? I'm no sex addict and feel very satisfied with our sex life but I just can't seem to get past the masturbating. As all guys know, masturbation feels much different than actual sex, but the final sensation feels that same to me. Anyone got any ideas or pointers?

09-10-2003, 02:06 PM	#3 (permalink)
firebirdta Crazy	I've found that it doesn't matter how much sex you get, you'll always crave more. Masturbation is able to fill in when you can't actually have sex. Embrace it! __________________ "Even if you prove me wrong, I'm not going to believe you." - A. McGill

09-10-2003, 02:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	because you´re human. and masturbation is natural. __________________ Ohayo!!!

09-10-2003, 02:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	there is nothing wrong with masturbating while in a relationship. i find it a necessary part of my sexuality, with or without you. __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

09-10-2003, 02:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	i dont care if a boyfriend masturbates. i like it __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

09-10-2003, 01:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Flesh Psycho	masturbation is a way of life!

09-10-2003, 02:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
Garcon Upright Location: Los Angeles, CA	Ok, so of all of you who said masturbation is natural and good (which I don't disagree with), how many told their gf's that they masturbate alone?

09-10-2003, 02:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
Gelfling Upright Location: Florida	I'm a girl and get lots of great sex from my bf, but I still masturbate a few times a week, but its usually cause he isn't around. He knows I do and doesn't care, just like I know he does, but I really don't mind.

09-10-2003, 03:00 PM	#11 (permalink)
Garcon Upright Location: Los Angeles, CA	I guess part of the reason I asked the follow up question is because we're going to be apart for a couple months (I'm getting tranferred and she won't be moving until later) and I don't know if I should tell her now after a year of being together that I masturbate alone. We've masturbated together on occation (hell, she just gave me a great bj/hj a couple days ago), but she doesn't know that I do it alone.

09-10-2003, 03:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
nowthen Insane Location: Republic of Panama	Well, no offence, but I expect she already knows.... us guys masturbate, end of story. I don't think there can be many women on the face of the planet that are not aware of that, especially since I notice in my girlfriends magazines that at least one of them is running an article on that very thing each month! __________________ "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." George Bernard Shaw

09-10-2003, 03:28 PM	#13 (permalink)
meff Vanishing, like I do.. Location: Austin, TX	Bah your a man you're gonna masturbate! Try masturbating with your girl or masturbating each other, maybe that'll calm the urge for awhile? It really helps me and my wife, plus its hot as hell __________________ Toy-like people make me boy-like.

09-10-2003, 04:17 PM	#15 (permalink)
yoshi Crazy Location: Jersey	It's fun and different. My husband and I both do it together and alone. Sometimes you just need to do--not from lack of sex or not because it isn't good.

09-10-2003, 06:34 PM	#16 (permalink)
mrquackers Exhausted Location: Northeastern US - please send help!	I wouldn't worry much about it. The stimulation you get from your own hand is different than you do with someone else. It's not better or worse, but different - and it helps spice up your sex life. __________________ "If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."

09-10-2003, 09:26 PM	#18 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	we all need sexual release and someone else isn't always around to give you a hand (har har). masturbation is healthy and natural, don't be ashamed of what almost everyone else does too. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

09-10-2003, 09:33 PM	#19 (permalink)
i8one2 COMPLETED and A TRAINER Location: BEAN_TOWN	Masturbation just feels good. __________________ LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC" "Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad" Quality is for those who know what they want and are at peace with what they have. "S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

09-11-2003, 08:11 AM	#20 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy." What's good for Caesar... __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

09-11-2003, 08:19 AM	#21 (permalink)
iamjero Insane Location: New Orleans/Oakland/San Diego/Chicago	I have the exact same situation. I get almost all the sex I ask for from my woman and so does she, but I still masterbate several times a week. Shell be laying in bed adn Ill get up sit at the computer and handle my buisness. That way I dont get the build up that can lead to unpleasent situations, like arguing over little stuff. Sometimes shell come over and help, but mostly I go it alone. Its like the others said... havin a wank is a beatuiful thing, enjoy it! __________________ "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" - Joseph Stalin

09-11-2003, 08:48 AM	#22 (permalink)
mattevil Addict Location: Virginia	masterbation is alright. it's a better release than drugs and your designed to build up a species so a guys sex drive is normally high.if you didnt masterbate you'd go crazy man. need to "scratch that itch" especially if you got in a "no sex tonight " fight. i wouldnt tell her there is no need and she already knows. Last edited by mattevil; 02-15-2005 at 01:53 PM..

09-11-2003, 09:26 AM	#23 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	The only time I won't masturbate is if I know we are going to be having sex later on. This makes it harder for me to come during sex when she might be chafing a bit. It is strange though. I will masturbate at home on a night even after we have sex and on nights we don't have sex, but I have a really difficult time doing it when I am travelling. I think this has to do with the fact I feel more sexual at home when I am close to my spouse, and I feel less horny on the road when I'm away from her.

09-11-2003, 09:48 AM	#25 (permalink)
Garcon Upright Location: Los Angeles, CA	I guess I'll just have to discuss it with her. I told her last night that while we're apart, I'll be doing lots of masturbating and I expect she'll do the same. She's got her toys and I've got... well, my hand. It still doesn't beat (no pun intended) the real thing!

09-11-2003, 10:28 AM	#26 (permalink)
Battlefield Crazy	Sex is like lays potato chips. Once you have sex you crave it even more. I find myself wanking it nearly everyday since I met my current gf...prior to that it was 2 - 3 a week. If shes tired shes tired, try not waiting until you get aroused late at night, do a pre-emptive strike to clear the pipes.

09-11-2003, 11:20 AM	#27 (permalink)
cynic Upright Location: The 51st and greyest state	My gf lives in canada, i havent seen her since june. I wank more than is sensible.

09-11-2003, 12:48 PM	#29 (permalink)
Garcon Upright Location: Los Angeles, CA	Phone sex is gonna have to be a must! She's a little shy with the dirty talk but when she gets going, look out!!! BTW, I wanted to thank everyone here for being so supportive and letting me know that masturbating is something besides abnormal. I'm very new here but you've all made me feel like I'm part of the community. I haven't even been flamed yet!!!

09-14-2003, 06:29 PM	#30 (permalink)
Forever Upright Location: Orlando, FL	I masturbate because honestly, I get the best orgasms that way. They're very very good with my boyfriend, and very emotional also, but I know how to work my body better than he does. He does it too, btw.

09-15-2003, 06:42 PM	#31 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	It's normal, dont' worry about it. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

09-15-2003, 06:44 PM	#32 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	There's nothing wrong with you that isn't also wrong with the other 6.5 billion people on the planet.

09-16-2003, 02:31 AM	#34 (permalink)
djm Upright Location: Seattle	There's a billion people in China who have never heard of masturbation, thanks to a century of Maoist rule. __________________ Don't call my name out your window; I'm leaving.

09-16-2003, 03:05 PM	#36 (permalink)
punx1325 Junkie Location: San Diego	Like everyone else said, you like beating off. And everyone else does to. There is nothing wrong with that. Masturbation is the self-exploration of yourself. There's no point in stopping, it's not like you are cheating on her. Embrace what God gave you, it's there for a reason. __________________ If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is....

02-14-2005, 08:47 PM	#37 (permalink)
Morania Guest	I read an article in Penthouse that said we masturbate frequently to purge the old tired sperm in place of the new fresh replacements. It's a survival of the fittest tequnique that Mother Nature gave us. You're gonna jerk off to keep your sperms up to date before the next guy. Simple. GO with it. It's fun.

02-14-2005, 09:18 PM	#38 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	Well this would coincide rather well with the findings of the study mentioned in the recent thread that "love" is simply an indirect form of our extensive self-love and egotism. You may be indirectly loving yourself through your better half, but nothing beats (haha beats) directly loving yourself for that coporeal feeling of self-sufficiency. __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

02-14-2005, 09:29 PM	#39 (permalink)
ironmaiden7o7 Insane Location: NYC	Masterbating is only natural. No matter how serious you are in a relationship and how much sex you have, there are usually urges to masterbate, especially when that person is sleeping or isn't around. It's a part of life. There is nothing wrong with it. However, if you were masterbating instead of having sex with her, then, that would've been a problem.

02-14-2005, 09:36 PM	#40 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	I don't know about you, but I still masturbate because I can. As Seinfeld said, it's like shaving for us guys. Your woman surely is aware that you do it, and if it bothered her, you'd know it. I think the key is to opt for intimacy with your SO first...afterwards, or if your SO isn't around, either of you should be free to take a "hands on" approach to relieving sexual tension.