Garcon

I'm currently in a very strong relationship with a beautiful woman who is usually very accomodating when it comes to sex. We have our ups and downs but our sex life is usually healthy. We explore our sexuality and both of us are happy to avoid any of the swinging stuff (though we sometimes go to strip clubs where we buy each other lap dances). She is by far the best sexual partner I've ever hand and she has said the same about me.

My problem is that I often find myself very aroussed late at night and she is often too tired to have sex. When this happens, I often end up masturbating, usually with some porn, and always by myself.

Why is it that with all the great sex in my life, I still feel the need to masturbate? I'm no sex addict and feel very satisfied with our sex life but I just can't seem to get past the masturbating. As all guys know, masturbation feels much different than actual sex, but the final sensation feels that same to me.

Anyone got any ideas or pointers?

Flesh

masturbation is a way of life!

firebirdta

I've found that it doesn't matter how much sex you get, you'll always crave more. Masturbation is able to fill in when you can't actually have sex. Embrace it!

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bundy

because you´re human.
and masturbation is natural.

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Ohayo!!!

anti fishstick

there is nothing wrong with masturbating while in a relationship. i find it a necessary part of my sexuality, with or without you.

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Swimalum

I have to agree... I was in a relationship where I had more than enough, but I always found myself where you're at.....

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Garcon

Ok, so of all of you who said masturbation is natural and good (which I don't disagree with), how many told their gf's that they masturbate alone?

Gelfling

I'm a girl and get lots of great sex from my bf, but I still masturbate a few times a week, but its usually cause he isn't around. He knows I do and doesn't care, just like I know he does, but I really don't mind.

anti fishstick

i dont care if a boyfriend masturbates. i like it

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yournamehere

Better alone than with one of her friends, I would think.

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Garcon

I guess part of the reason I asked the follow up question is because we're going to be apart for a couple months (I'm getting tranferred and she won't be moving until later) and I don't know if I should tell her now after a year of being together that I masturbate alone. We've masturbated together on occation (hell, she just gave me a great bj/hj a couple days ago), but she doesn't know that I do it alone.

nowthen

Well, no offence, but I expect she already knows.... us guys masturbate, end of story. I don't think there can be many women on the face of the planet that are not aware of that, especially since I notice in my girlfriends magazines that at least one of them is running an article on that very thing each month!

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meff

Bah your a man you're gonna masturbate! Try masturbating with your girl or masturbating each other, maybe that'll calm the urge for awhile? It really helps me and my wife, plus its hot as hell

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Toy-like people make me boy-like.

Marius1

I do this.

Look at it this way. If you didn't you'd have trouble sleeping as you'd be all wound up due to not having released.

Having a release on the other hand releases chemicals which help you sleep. Hence the reason some men fall straight asleep after sex.

I'm sure your g/f would rather you get a good nights sleep than be grumpy due to lack of sleep.

People have different arrousal cycles. Their methods where you can get them to sync. I'm no sex therapist so won't advise any further on on how to accomplish that.

Unfortunately some of that is differences in the sexes (gods twisted sense of humour again). Men are most sexualy primed first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Women generally aren't.

Hey gals perhaps you could clue us into what times of day you a generally most arroused and we can see if there is a pattern?

yoshi

It's fun and different. My husband and I both do it together and alone. Sometimes you just need to do--not from lack of sex or not because it isn't good.

mrquackers

I wouldn't worry much about it. The stimulation you get from your own hand is different than you do with someone else. It's not better or worse, but different - and it helps spice up your sex life.

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"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."

sexymama

And this really isn't a male/female issue. Woman also get different stimulation from their own hands.

Of course she knows you masturbate and hopefully she masturbates too. Enjoy and celebrate your sexuality -- don't hide it!

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

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bermuDa

we all need sexual release and someone else isn't always around to give you a hand (har har). masturbation is healthy and natural, don't be ashamed of what almost everyone else does too.

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i8one2

Masturbation just feels good.

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Quality is for those who know
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"S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

Holo

Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy."



What's good for Caesar...

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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

iamjero

I have the exact same situation. I get almost all the sex I ask for from my woman and so does she, but I still masterbate several times a week. Shell be laying in bed adn Ill get up sit at the computer and handle my buisness. That way I dont get the build up that can lead to unpleasent situations, like arguing over little stuff. Sometimes shell come over and help, but mostly I go it alone.
Its like the others said... havin a wank is a beatuiful thing, enjoy it!

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mattevil

masterbation is alright. it's a better release than drugs and your designed to build up a species so a guys sex drive is normally high.if you didnt masterbate you'd go crazy man. need to "scratch that itch" especially if you got in a "no sex tonight " fight. i wouldnt tell her there is no need and she already knows.

skysooner

The only time I won't masturbate is if I know we are going to be having sex later on. This makes it harder for me to come during sex when she might be chafing a bit. It is strange though. I will masturbate at home on a night even after we have sex and on nights we don't have sex, but I have a really difficult time doing it when I am travelling. I think this has to do with the fact I feel more sexual at home when I am close to my spouse, and I feel less horny on the road when I'm away from her.

Redlemon

If she's too tired and I'm revved up, I'll sometimes say "OK, I'll just be taking care of myself then" and masturbate in the bed next to her. She has no problem with that.

Garcon

I guess I'll just have to discuss it with her. I told her last night that while we're apart, I'll be doing lots of masturbating and I expect she'll do the same. She's got her toys and I've got... well, my hand. It still doesn't beat (no pun intended) the real thing!

Battlefield

Sex is like lays potato chips. Once you have sex you crave it even more. I find myself wanking it nearly everyday since I met my current gf...prior to that it was 2 - 3 a week.

If shes tired shes tired, try not waiting until you get aroused late at night, do a pre-emptive strike to clear the pipes.

cynic

My gf lives in canada, i havent seen her since june. I wank more than is sensible.

Redlemon

Don't forget phone sex! Call her up and masturbate with her!

Garcon

Phone sex is gonna have to be a must! She's a little shy with the dirty talk but when she gets going, look out!!!

BTW, I wanted to thank everyone here for being so supportive and letting me know that masturbating is something besides abnormal. I'm very new here but you've all made me feel like I'm part of the community. I haven't even been flamed yet!!!

Forever

I masturbate because honestly, I get the best orgasms that way. They're very very good with my boyfriend, and very emotional also, but I know how to work my body better than he does.

He does it too, btw.

Slims

It's normal, dont' worry about it.

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ratbastid

There's nothing wrong with you that isn't also wrong with the other 6.5 billion people on the planet.

meff

Heh, couldn't have said it better than that.

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Toy-like people make me boy-like.

djm

There's a billion people in China who have never heard of masturbation, thanks to a century of Maoist rule.

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Fenster

That must be what's wrong with those fucking governments over there then. No wonder Kim Jong is such a lunatic (yes, I know he is North Korea's pres. same ballpark as China)

punx1325

Like everyone else said, you like beating off. And everyone else does to. There is nothing wrong with that. Masturbation is the self-exploration of yourself. There's no point in stopping, it's not like you are cheating on her. Embrace what God gave you, it's there for a reason.

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If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is....

Morania

I read an article in Penthouse that said we masturbate frequently to purge the old tired sperm in place of the new fresh replacements. It's a survival of the fittest tequnique that Mother Nature gave us. You're gonna jerk off to keep your sperms up to date before the next guy. Simple. GO with it. It's fun.

Suave

Well this would coincide rather well with the findings of the study mentioned in the recent thread that "love" is simply an indirect form of our extensive self-love and egotism. You may be indirectly loving yourself through your better half, but nothing beats (haha beats) directly loving yourself for that coporeal feeling of self-sufficiency.

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ironmaiden7o7

Masterbating is only natural. No matter how serious you are in a relationship and how much sex you have, there are usually urges to masterbate, especially when that person is sleeping or isn't around. It's a part of life. There is nothing wrong with it. However, if you were masterbating instead of having sex with her, then, that would've been a problem.

loganmule

I don't know about you, but I still masturbate because I can. As Seinfeld said, it's like shaving for us guys. Your woman surely is aware that you do it, and if it bothered her, you'd know it. I think the key is to opt for intimacy with your SO first...afterwards, or if your SO isn't around, either of you should be free to take a "hands on" approach to relieving sexual tension.