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View Poll Results: Who initiates sex in your relationship?
Married, guy is horny more often 30 24.19%
Married, both of you are horny equally 14 11.29%
Married, girl is horny more often 5 4.03%
Not married, guy is horny more often 29 23.39%
Not married, both of you are horny equally 26 20.97%
Not married, girl is horny more often 12 9.68%
N/A to my relationship and stop saying horny... 8 6.45%
Voters: 124. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 10-17-2004, 09:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Who initiates sex in your relationship?

After I did a search, it would seem that there have been a few posts that have referenced this subject, but none directly, at least in the last year or so. If it is a duplicate for this group, I apologize.

In my relationship, I (married, male) have initiated sex for 6+ years. She has rarely complained when I feel the need so it seems to work for us, however I'm not sure that's entirely healthy. I'd like her to be 'friskier' more often, instead of making me feel like I use her vagina to masturbate (only very rarely does it feel this way). I'm planning on talking to her about it, but I thought I'd poll the audience about your relationships and personal reflections on the ever challenging problem of matching sex drives in relationships...

Sorry, for those of you who are in gay or multiple-partner relationships, the polling just got too complicated...
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Old 10-17-2004, 11:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Well, this is an exact duplicate of a poll in the Ladies Lounge...but, we'll see how the results are out here in Sexuality.
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Old 10-17-2004, 11:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Elysium
I'm not married and we initiate sex equally - luckily! Loverboy and I have both been in former relationships where each of us took like 90% of the initiatives to sex and we were both fed up with it. So I'm thrilled about the way things are now
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Old 10-18-2004, 02:31 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I have to initiate most of the time, but she's usually willing and ends up having fun. She just thinks it's too much trouble to get things started. Twenty-one years so far, so the arrangement works for us!
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Old 10-18-2004, 03:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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this doesn't look like a good advertisment for marriage - seems like women lose interest once they've walked down the isle
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Old 10-18-2004, 03:38 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
we arent married YET...but we are working on it.....

ours would be equal..
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Old 10-18-2004, 03:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I always start it, my hand has no choice in the matter.

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Old 10-18-2004, 06:17 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Married, and its about equal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by d*d
this doesn't look like a good advertisment for marriage - seems like women lose interest once they've walked down the isle
See I don't buy into this, its my experience that if a woman loses interest in sex its for a reason, like depression, stress, medications, etc. Its almost always an indicator of some other problem.
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:40 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Who ever is the least tired !!
(That's what 2 kids does to you)
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Old 10-18-2004, 08:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
Tilted
 
I guess I'll be the one. My wife initiates sex much more often than I do. It's not that I'm "cold" or unwilling, but we're both 26 and she just has a very healthy libido. I'm more of the "cuddling then sex, before bedtime" type and she's the "blowjob during the commercials" type. Can't complain, really Part of the reason I married her
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Old 10-18-2004, 10:01 AM   #11 (permalink)
Crazy
 
at the beginning of the relationship it was my gf that tended to be the initiator. As time went on it became evident that she has a healthier sex drive (she required very little time between sessions) than me, and as it stands we basically do it whenever I initiate it since she's almost always 'good to go'.
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Old 10-18-2004, 11:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I am often more horny but really get off on the fact if she initiates it. I like to tease her a bit (even though I'm probably hornier than her). It drives her wild.
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Old 10-18-2004, 11:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Charlotte, NC
Not married, and we are both equally horny. Works well for us. I have always has a raging libido and she loves sex

We are perfect for each other...
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Old 10-18-2004, 11:54 AM   #14 (permalink)
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in our relationship, sex is initiated by whomever attacks the other first. It generally works out to about 50-50%. We try to keep it on a "unless you're highly pissed or feel REALLY bad, the answer is yes" basis, and we try not to ration orgasms.

We've been togather 10 plus years and have a kid, and it seems to work well.
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Old 10-18-2004, 12:07 PM   #15 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Charlotte, NC
Quote:
Originally Posted by daswig
We've been togather 10 plus years and have a kid, and it seems to work well.
WOW! That's awsome. To be together for 10 years and still have that kind of sexlife is simply amazing. I hope I am that lucky.
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Old 10-18-2004, 12:23 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: Red Sox land
She inititates I'm almost always ready...

When the lady says go ... I'm ready! My libido is a quite a bit more active so I wait for her signal that she is ready and then we ...... Going on for well over ten years and the orgasms are still as powerful if not even better...
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Old 10-18-2004, 02:52 PM   #17 (permalink)
Crazy
 
I'm not married, but its pretty equal for me. It goes in cycles, sometimes i iniatite more, sometimes he does, sometimes we both think of it at the same time!
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Old 10-18-2004, 05:15 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I usually let her decide when a lot of the time, because once she decides, I'm ready!
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:58 PM   #19 (permalink)
Insane
 
This is great information. Obviously this poll isn't a great representation of the populace as a whole, given we're voluntarily reading Tilted Sexuality...often...but its great info all the same.
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Old 10-18-2004, 11:21 PM   #20 (permalink)
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We live together, and I am definitely more sexually aggressive and needy than her. Were it only that I weren't, though...
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Old 10-19-2004, 02:00 AM   #21 (permalink)
Upright
 
I do it 1st most of the time but love it when the girl makes the first move.
I dont really mind that happening because i'm pretty much up for it ALL the time!!
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Old 10-19-2004, 04:06 AM   #22 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Pittsburgh
I used to be the one to initiate 90% of the time but then we talked about it and now it is 50/50 and happens more often.
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Old 10-19-2004, 04:10 AM   #23 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Lexington
It's like 75% of the time for me initiating
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Old 10-19-2004, 11:47 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Location: Sage's bed
She generally always initiates it, but that's because she only rarely is interested in having sex whereas I'm pretty much always up for it.
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Old 10-19-2004, 12:06 PM   #25 (permalink)
Here
 
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Location: Denver City Denver
We go back and forth.

I'll tie her to the couch one night... the next night she'll chain me to the bed... back and forth
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Old 10-19-2004, 01:00 PM   #26 (permalink)
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I'd say it's about 60% me simply because I want it more
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Old 10-19-2004, 01:08 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Location: The Early 16th Century
I do about 95% of the time. She is usually up for it once I start something but rarely horny enough on her own to start it.
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Old 10-19-2004, 01:12 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I voted for not married, both equal. Basically, I'll have to start the process, with a bit of light kissing to let her know I'm in the mood, and she'll be up for anything from then on. She rarely lets me know when because she's typically too ashamed, it seems. A little weird, but I can pick up on when she wants to normally.
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Old 10-19-2004, 01:30 PM   #29 (permalink)
Upright
 
I have been married 15 years and have initiated sex probably 90% of the time. Once we get going she is really into it most of the time. Otherwise she understands my biological needs. Too long between sex is really bad for the system.
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Old 10-19-2004, 01:51 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Mine used to be too ashamed to ask. That changed. She must've been ashamed a lot
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Old 10-19-2004, 02:11 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Location: Portland, Oregon
My wife wants my body just as much as I want hers. It's great!
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Old 10-19-2004, 02:30 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Location: Florida and all over the world
Difficult one, I guess it would be me mostly. We have 2 young kids, difficult life altogether and my wife gets totaly worn out by taking care of the kids, mostly it's "if you want some, let's get it over and done with" thing..... but hopefully that'll geta lot better once the kids get a little bigger
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Old 10-19-2004, 02:44 PM   #33 (permalink)
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The poll show what is my exact experience. Before I was married, my wife had a great deal of sexual interest. After we were married, and especially after two kids, her interest is minimal. This has become a problem in our relationship, because now she is not even responsive. I never knew until now, why so many married men have affairs even when they never thought they were the "type." I have not had an affair myself, but it is getting more difficult to deal with my wife who expressly says she has no interest in me physically. And it's not like I'm ugly.
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Old 10-19-2004, 06:59 PM   #34 (permalink)
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I haven't been with my girlfriend for that long yet, but we seem to be pretty equally horny, and so far we've each initiated sex pretty equally.
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Old 10-19-2004, 07:09 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Location: Arizona :|
Not married. We're equally horny. =o)
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Old 10-19-2004, 10:08 PM   #36 (permalink)
Natalie Portman is sexy.
 
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Location: The Outer Rim
Not married...yet. But we're both pretty damned horny.
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