Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-11-2004, 04:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
amire's Avatar
 
Why (not how) did you and your SO end up together?

Hello, everyone.

I'm a young, 18-year-old high school guy who's still trying to figure out the ins and outs of the dating scene. I have tons of insecurities and problems, but that's the subject for another post.

My problem is deciding whether or not a girl "suits" me. I find that I'm attracted to many different types of girls for many different reasons...the current one with whom I'm infatuated is perhaps the greatest person on the face of the Earth in terms of kindness, caring, and a general demeanor of happiness and content. I've fallen in love with girls in the past because of good looks and because of outgoing personality. This is the first one who I like because of her whole person.

But I digress. My question to you all is this: WHY did you and your SO end up together? What made you two so compatible? I'm not looking for HOW stories...I don't really care about the details, where you met, what happened that night, etc....I'm wondering WHY the relationship worked after the first evening and what sort of things cause the attraction between you two.

I'm expecting answers all over the board. Some people will say that the only reason they're still with their SO is through hard work. Others will say that there's some sort of intangible "chemistry" that goes on between the two of them. I don't think I've ever experienced real love (although my current infatuation probably gives me half the experience of love...haven't ventured to see if it's mutual yet), and I want to know what it is that causes two people to stay with each other for the rest of their lives.

I'm not a believer in love at first sight or "one special person" mainly because the average person never meets more than 1,000 or so people in his life and probably physically sees no more than 10,000 or 100,000 people....there are 6 BILLION people on the planet, so I doubt that any one pair is really "meant" to be together.

So I'm trying to see how I can find someone compatible out of the few hundred I'll meet...and I'm looking to you guys for advice!

Please shoot me if this topic's been up before...I do apologize if that is the case.

Have a wonderful evening!

-amire
amire is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 04:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
Sorry you dont believe in love at first site because thats what it was with me and Dave

The moment I set eyes on him, and I do mean the very first moment...I knew he was the man I'd been waiting for all my life.

asfor the hows....we have the same common interests....we were both full time dommes...but instead of that working against the relationship it has 100% worked from the get go....as my title says...Im the domme by day..he's the domme by night...in other words in the bedroom what he says goes (unless Im drunk then I get to be the dominant one then lol)

We share a love of the paranormal....all things celtic....our believe systems is the same...we are exactly the same caring and compassion wise...he loves girly movies as much as I do....we have our differences too....I am a by the book cancer...which includes the moodiness, the temprament, the hiding within ones self, the "in your face" you never have to guess what Im thinking or feeling kind of things. He is more laid back and easy going and his feathers dont get ruffled near as easily as mine.

The man can also read me like a book....he remembers EVERTHING I've ever told him, he knows in advance how Im going to react to something....he finds me special enuff to do little things..like stopping on the way home from work to get me beef jerky or krispy kreme donuts without me even saying anything about it. Its like he can read my mind and know my wants at all times.

In our relationship our differences mesh so completely that sometimes its hard to identify that there ARE differences.

We have been together one year (and one month next week) and never had even one argument...we accept each other for how we are.

HOW did I know he was the one....He is the first man in my life that I didnt get bored with after 2 months....he is the first man that I absolutely cannot stand being away from....I miss him even when Im at work and cant wait to get home....even if we arent doing anything but sitting on our end of the couch and doing our own thing online. His presence comforts me in a way I've never experienced.

dont be so quick to scoff love at first site...or that a pair is "meant" to be together. I look at my past relationships as experiences that worked to teach me to KNOW and to recognize when I DID meet the one that was meant for me.

hope that wasnt too much detail for you
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 05:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
amire's Avatar
 
Oh, the more detail the better...this stuff is great! I'm still not convinced about love at first sight, though...I do believe in attraction at first sight, but not love. I just don't see how two people can KNOW that they're mean to be together just from a look.

HOWEVER, this thread is not about love at first sight, and I certainly don't discount your testimony as false simply because I don't believe in love at first sight. On the contrary, it intrigues me and makes me want to experience it. I'm looking forward to other responses in this area and the otehrs that we've mentioned.
amire is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 05:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
well I will tell you....I didnt believe in it either....Just for the record Im 36....so I've had some life experience behind me....as well as a previous marriage.

If you're lucky enuff for it to ever happen to you...you'll understand...its really not something that you can explain to someone that hasnt experienced it, but to those it has....they know exactly what Im talking about. Its like you look at them and there is this thing in your brain that announces wildly with trumpets and fanfare....THAT is the person....dont fuck it up lol
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 05:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
Registered User
 
radioguy's Avatar
 
Location: Texas
my girl and i work together. we both came out of bad marriages and the timing was right for us to start hanging out. talking about our experience and other things. one thing led to another and we've moved our relationship to the next step. we've been together for 7 months and it's been wonderful. i guess that we came together due to us having the same types of experiences.

it'll be different for everyone amire, there's no one reason why people get toghether.

Last edited by radioguy; 10-11-2004 at 05:47 PM..
radioguy is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 05:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
Crazy
 
amire's Avatar
 
Well, I'm not really trying to "get" a girl...just trying to figure out how I'll be able to tell which one is right from me. So far we have two very different testimonies...one couple that fell in love instantly and another couple that slowly hung out and fell in love gradually. Quite interesting.

[edit] sorry: previous guy had said something about "getting" a girl and then edited it before I noticed the edit. But I'll leave my comment so that others will be clear as to what I'm asking.

Last edited by amire; 10-11-2004 at 05:50 PM..
amire is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 05:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
Banned
 
Be prepared for a sickeningly sweet post...

I met xepherys on (do not laugh!) HotOrNot. Based on our AIM conversations I thought he was a very intelligent, funny guy. And he was hot! (I rated his pic a 10, heh). We had our first date a month or so later, and I knew then that I wanted to be with him. I was drawn to every little thing about him; we have (mostly) the same interests, the same retarded sense of humor, the same goals, and the same idea of what a relationship should be. We can talk/debate for hours and hours about everything and nothing, or just cuddle in silence. I can completely be my stupid self around him and he loves me all the more for it. And the sex is incredible! There was definite physical attraction from the second we met... our first kiss gave me crazy chills! Something about that boy just makes me... GRRRR!!!!!!!

That was last August. He proposed in March, we got married in May, and now we're 4 months into a wonderful marriage! I've never been happier!

What brought us -- and keeps us -- together is a mix of common interests, goals, and ideas, physical attraction, respect for each other, and unconditional love. He's my entire world, and I'm his. And I love it!

Does that gushy rant answer your question?

Last edited by combatmedicjen; 10-11-2004 at 05:58 PM..
combatmedicjen is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 06:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Pittsburgh
My wife and I were old friends and at the time we were both coming on 30 years old. One night we were talking about relation ships and were both saying how are past relationships had thought us manly what we did not want in a relation ship ever again. Then we moved on to what we wanted. Things were very smaller so that night we said hay why not give it a shoot.

I think it takes trial and error to find what you want and need.
Clark is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 07:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
Pissing in the cornflakes
 
Ustwo's Avatar
 
We were young and horny.

Everything else worked out from there, but young and horny is what got it started.
__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.
Ustwo is offline  
Old 10-11-2004, 07:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul:::
Guest
 
because he was so...............different. Kind, considerate, honest, gave me space and was patient, not pushy in any way. Very quiet, yet very open with me when we did talk. There's just something there that can't be explained.
 
Old 10-11-2004, 07:37 PM   #11 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
Booze.

We met at a bar. We had a lot of stuff in common. As in drinking. Now we're together and happy. You can't know at first if you are right for each other. That's what dating is for. You can't be too picky. But do stay away from girls with more facial hair then you.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 02:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
Upright
 
The more I know about her, them more I want to know. It seems that she feels the same way. We are accepting of eachother's flaws, and aren't afraid to disagree...
nicion is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 03:16 AM   #13 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
funny story about our first date....we met online via an online personals...both of us had just that week broken up with someone...shallow relationship for me....2 year engagement for him...we were looking strictly for a fuck buddy...had our first date the same day we met online....had the OMG hes the one experience when we met for dinner...by the time we parted at 2 am I got the "Im not looking for a relationhship" speech....told him ok, cool...we can just hangout whenever....while thinking...yeah right buddy....I could read his mind as well as my own and knew he'd been hit the same way I was but I wasnt gonna push it.

He calls me at 7 am the next morning and tells me it was bullshit and he never wanted to wake up in the morning without me again.

And with the exception of him being out of town for work...he hasnt...

so...nobody can tell me you cant know right away....Dave and I are living proof that you can indeed.
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 04:58 AM   #14 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: London, England
My ex (due to other reasons now but...) In a pub, she was drinking and I was the manager We had a mutual friend, things went from there! Was a good year
HockeyGuy is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 05:40 AM   #15 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Florida
I've been with my girl for close to 3 years now. And basically opposites do attract.

I'm a shy, introverted late blooming agnostic Cancer. She's a fiery fun-loving experienced newly-sober Pagan Capricorn.

Don't worry about how things are going to work out. Whether your SO is similar or opposite is inconsequencial. In every relationship you want to last, you have to put time and energy into it. You have to communicate and compremise.
Unright is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 06:21 AM   #16 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Just shy of 15 years ago I was going through a Goth phase. I was wearing a black skirt, combat boots, black make-up, and had my black hair tied back with a ten foot piece of black lace. She was staying at a friends house after having run away from home. I walked in and our eyes just sort of locked.

She thought I was gay for several weeks. I figured she was dating the friend that she was staying with. Eventually, I found at that she wasn't.

We've been married for five years now and have a three year old daughter.
vanblah is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 07:03 AM   #17 (permalink)
Frontal Lobe
 
Squishor's Avatar
 
Location: California
I think we ended up together because we talked so much when we first knew each other, and we found that we were very similar people in our basic personalities, and in our life experiences. It took exactly one month of talking for hours every day for me to go from "I'm not over my last boyfriend and I'm celibate by choice" to "hey let me show you this private spot on the beach I know of." You can fill in the rest.

There were a lot of things I found out about him when we were talking that I took as positive signs, particularly that he is an animal lover and he admitted to having some of the same social struggles as me. I made note of these things and liked that he was sensitive to the same nuances as I am, plus he gets my sense of humor and stream-of-consciousness ramblings. It helped tremendously that he is quite intelligent. Once all that was established it was good that he is of the physical type that I strongly prefer (since I do seem to have a "type," which is something I didn't figure out until I was in my mid-20s) so it was easy for me to become physically attracted to him and notice all the little things that make him attractive and special. Then, after we started sleeping together, the chemistry really began to happen so we kept doing it. Over five years later the chemistry is still there, and I'm still not bored.
Squishor is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 10:17 AM   #18 (permalink)
Upright
 
I was teaching guitar lessons at a studio and she was one of my students. She took for about a year. We never dated, and were just friends. Eventually I needed a roomate and asked if she wanted to move in. She did, and we were still just friends. Then, about a year later, we went on a trip together to New York. Got drunk there and have been together ever since.

Romantic, eh?

Hehe.
Paxton_Free is offline  
Old 10-12-2004, 10:31 AM   #19 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Dallas, Tx
we ended up together because of all the talking we did before hand. i got her number at a bar one night, we hooked up a couple times a week for a couple months, did alot of talking and hanging out. when i first got her number i never thought anything would come of it. even after a month or so i never thought anything would come of it...it never crossed my mind. then one day she came out and asked how things would be different between us if she was my woman. this totally caught me off gaurd, but the more i thought about it the more i came to realize how special she is.

so ya we never planned any of this. we both had the lust at first sight thing since we obviously find eachother attractive, but since we both weren't looking for anything at the time things kinda progressed naturally.
st33lr4t is offline  
 

Tags
end

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:14 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360