Jim Kata

This is kind of a random (I guess kind of pointless too) question.....but I was curious how you guys would feel if you didn't get any sexing from your wife/boyfriend/girlfriend on your birthday?

I've been with my girl for almost 4 years and have never received any sort of pleasure of the flesh on my birthday. Not because or her cycle or not seeing her, but just because she didn't want to or didn't initiate anything.

I'd like to pretend it didn't bother me, especially since I treat my birthdays like regular days....but recently since we have been having issues with sex (lack of sex is a better term here), its starting to poke at me that not even on my birthday do I get any.

Just curious on how you guys would feel.

macmanmike6100

Well, to be honest I get enough "pleasure of the flesh" on days that aren't my birthday, so on my birthday I really don't care one way or the other. I've never really thought of birthdays as that special, anyway, just another day.

Iconoclast

I wouldn't give a shit either way. Sex isn't the only thing worth living for, so I don't dwell on it like it'll save my life or some such shit. There are better, more important and fulfilling things out there.

NuckingFuts

I would feel a little cheated, as a birthday is a special time and it's always nice to get a little "gift" from your sig. other. As much as people may not like to admit it, sex is a very important part of a dating relationship, and to withhold that can cause more problems down the line.

ratbastid

On my last birthday I got a little "gift" from my wife and my girlfriend! Okay, I'll quit bragging now and answer the question.

I'd probably be okay if I didn't get any on my birthday. It's just another day, really. I get plenty in general, so the birthday sex isn't really such a big deal.

BonesCPA

Birthday sex sometimes doesn't live up to the hype. You figure that you are going to have a special session, and it is good, but just normal good, you can be let down.

That being said, it would suck if it wasn't even suggested to have some fun that day/night. Is it enough to dump someone over, no. But if you are looking for something to back up a feeling about her, then go ahead and use it. Just don't do the "and you never *%$# me on my birthday" line. Too easy.

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NotMVH

Just talk to her about it openly

eribrav

For some people it's important; for others, not at all. You probably need to let her know how YOU feel.

Jim Kata

Thanks all. For real.

I don't plan on breaking up with her due to the lack of sex, or don't even plan on mentioning the "no birthday nookie" to her unless I see its relevance in a conversation.

I was/am just curious if maybe I am acting a little strange about it. I guess I'm probably just overthinking it all because my balls weigh a ton

Oh, and she knows how I feel about it. We have had this conversation many a times. Its probably her birth control (I'm sure it is). She is going to the doctors on Friday so maybe something good will come out of that.

absorbentishe

If I haven't been gettin' any, and was sort of promised a little fun, then I'd be pissed as hell. But that goes for any day. On your B-day, you expect/hope for a little fun. I completely understand where you're coming from.

Sargeman

I didn't realize that have sex on your birthday was a requirement of having a relationship.

I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've had sex on my birthday. My birthday is Dec. 26 so I usually have plenty going on.

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Jim Kata

Well its definetly not a requirement, but it is a nice present.

edmos1

the B-day sex issue I do not think is the real issue I think it comes down to :"we have been having issues with sex (lack of sex is a better term here)" I would recommend talking to her about it. is it comfort in the relationship for her?

theburner

Birthdays are the only time I get to try some of the "freaky shit" she usually says no too.

So yeah.. I would be kinda upset if I didn't get my birthday gift.

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Jim Kata

Talking to her about it is like beating a dead horse. Been there done that on numerous occasions. But I think once she talks to her "Poon Doctor" (her words, not mine), and tell her whats up with her libido, they may be able to make some changes.

edit: Would it be a bad idea if I asked if I can just have sex with other people? you know...just meaningless animalistic sex....nothing more.

billwood

Hay..A birthday B J is allways a welcom present.. but make shure you don't forget her birthday ether. If I didn't get any it was probley my falt ..too drunk or something.

Hope her doc can change something for the better....

densefog

As the Beatles sang, "It's Just Another Day"....

tekken

Birthday sex is supposed to be all about you man... Don't let anyone take that away.

Scabs the Clown

I don't get much sex any time of the year and my wife often says "It's not your birthday" when I mention it, so I get a little disappointed when it is my birthday and I still don't get any.

CityOfAngels

Did she say Happy Birthday? Be happy you get that much. Sex is something that should be enjoyed by both parties, and if she's not up for it, you should respect that.

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Irishsean

Where did Birthday sex become a right? Musta missed that memo...

Are you spending an entire day focused on her on her birthday? And making someone happy is more than just fulfilling their sexual desires. Maybe she's just giving back to you what she feels she recieves?

Blackthorn

If you want it...it's okay to speak up about it! Why not ask?...*shrug* I'd think if your girlfriend is not in the mood but knows that it's your birthday, unless she was draging in like a tired-ass-old-dawg, then she's going to be willing to give you a lil sumthn-sumthn. Provide her a little encouragement to give you the lovin you want man. It's your birthday -- it's not been officially declared "Fuck Jim Kata's Nuts Off Day".

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nottwood

On your birthday my man, you hold a free ticket for any ride. If that ride ain't open on your birthday, find one that is....

Halx

"Honey, if you wont fuck me on my birthday, then you're hiring someone who will."

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Missy

Why don't you say something completely jokingly like 'I'm ready for my happ bday blowjob now hunnie!" Just make sure you have a big smile on your face when you say it! Maybe she'll get the hint!?

mo42

Relationships are all about making your S.O. happy. Both people should understand this, and the chick should realize that on her guy's birthday she should probably give some lovin'. I mean, it's his birthday, she should try to make him happy, especially on that day. Sometimes you do things that you don't feel like doing because you know it'll make the other person happy.

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Ofirethorn

Ummmm I have never had Birthday Sex........ Though I have set up an elaborate sex game before on my SO's Bday. I guess I'm just to happy when I have a girl in my life.

Racer

Do you do anything special for her on her birthday?

cardfan4269

The only thing I got on my birthday this year was a "Happy Birthday" from the TFP. All the more reason to participate! I try to forget birthdays anyway as I am getting old and don't want to realize it.

telekinetic

I have only had two birthdays since I've become sexually active. One of them my girl at the time had sex (but I didn't...do that math), and the most recent one, it wasn't a big deal...my live-in girlfriend had to work late.

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Arsenic7

I had just about the worst sex ever on Valentines day (crying and arguing was involved), so no I don't think birthday sex is a big deal.

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pippepin

Well, if the sex is plenty every other day then it shouldn't really matter if you do it on your birthday or not. But if sex is something of a special occassion for you then it could be somewhat expected.

Rdr4evr

Could not have said it better myself. Everytime people whine about not getting laid I tell them the same thing. The sad thing is, my girl wants to have sex more than me.

Neptune

I don't get as much sex as I'd like normally, so I've made it well known to my wife that special events such as my birthday and fathers day are days where she needs to make an extra effort.

Most other times it's a fairly routine sex life, and the special occasions spice it up a bit

sushiboy

I guess I haven't really been paying attention to when I do get sex and to what corresponding holiday/birthday it is. I think that if your lover/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is not in the mood on your birthday, why should they have to do it.

The Phenomenon

Hehe - I share this sentiment.

I want her to have sex with me on my B-day, I do not need any gifts, just a good session

If she is not willing, unless she has a damn good reason, I'll be pretty much pissed off.

Luckily I have always been on the receiving end on my B-day I have a girl that cares.

And I should mention that I do my "duty" on her birthday as well. As much as she wants, and exactly like she wants it.

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Ofirethorn

Rdr4evr, are you complaning?

HomerSimpson

well, i just had my birthday and got the best birthday prezzie of my life. Not being over the top or to cause arguments here, have you ever considerd she is having an affair from the Lack of Sex part?? just a thought

Rinndalir

Agree, and I've been there so I know how frustrating it is. If it's the meds causing it I'd try alternatives till I found one that works. I just hope its not something else, lack of desire can be a warning sign for other problems. I just don't buy into the whole women view sex as a chore idea, well I know some do because I was with one, but I think most women who are happy with their relationship want it just as much as men do. Lots of non-relationship things can throw that off like stress or kids or drugs, but once you get whatever's causing the problem out of the way the desire should come back.

Jim Kata

It has crossed my mind (about her having an affair). But I trust her (may be my mistake....)

But like I've said before, the lack of sex is almost definetly related to her birth control. She used to be crazy horny all the time....but then she started the BC and it slowly disappeared. She would drive 30 minutes just to sex me up on my lunch break everyday and then go back home/school.

And yes everyone, I know sex isn't the most important thing...but I didn't have sex until I was 25...and it was with her. I'm 28 now....so I have a lot of fucking to make up for. I am a bit oversexed...but I always have been, and she knows that.

I also know that birthday sex isn't a gaurantee....but as horny as I am all the time, she could at least give me something...I never ask for anything on my birthday/christmas/valentine's day...except for her to quit smoking. So a 15 minute sex session isn't too much to want. I also never ask for sex anymore (like some of you suggested I do on my birthday) because I'm sick of getting the courage to try and start something just to get shot down....it stopped me from asking/initiating anything. She knows this as well.

As for her birthday....I do whatever I can. I am not a rich person but I sacrifice my needs for her wants. I'm not trying to say that I do everything and she does nothing, because that isn't the case at all. I know she loves me, and I love her, but I just am a big asshole when it comes to not getting sex.

Maybe I should go to Sexaholics Anonymous or something...