Vagina lacking sensitivity - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Aladdin Sane · 08-09-2004, 04:00 PM

My wife has little desire for penetration. I can't blame her: she doesn't really get anything out of it. She isn't excited by penetration alone. Her clit seems to be the only sensitive area of her genitals. On occasion she will ask me to put my dick in her, but only after she has orgasmed or wants to get it over with. I've tried g-spot massage but it doesn't work.

Have any of you guys experienced this with a girl? Do any of you girls have the same lack of sensitivity or desire in your vagina?

onodrim · 08-09-2004, 04:07 PM

Everyone woman is different. It all depends how her body is wired essentially. For example, I myself actually enjoy penetration more than outside stimulation, although both are good.

Although, it is more common than not to have a great deal more sensitivity in the clit than the inside of the vagina. It's nothing to worry about, if she prefers to orgasm from clit stimulation, then just keep on with that. However, perhaps if she'd be more willing to try penetration more often, she may find she'd enjoy that more as well. Also, make sure you use lots of lube. Sometimes if the vagina is too dry, penetration can be painful, and therefore not too pleasing.

maleficent · 08-09-2004, 04:13 PM

Has she had any children, because that can loosen up the muscles in the walls ofthe vagina, making them seem unsenstive.
Kegel exercises can help to tighten up the walls

Toecutter · 08-09-2004, 05:03 PM

I read the title of this thread as "vagina lacking senibility"! Lacking either sensitivity or sensiblity is not a good thing, could one be dependent upon the other? Sorry for the hijack. Carry on.

ShaniFaye · 08-09-2004, 05:16 PM

I know that for me certain positions really dont do much for me, doggie for instance....I cant get off that way at all...the best one for me is on top so that I can be in control and work towards the g-spot orgasm. Do ya'll experiment with different positions to see if there is one that "hits" her right?

Aladdin Sane · 08-11-2004, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ShaniFaye
I know that for me certain positions really dont do much for me, doggie for instance....I cant get off that way at all...the best one for me is on top so that I can be in control and work towards the g-spot orgasm. Do ya'll experiment with different positions to see if there is one that "hits" her right?

Yes, we have tried different positions. She seems to get bored. God I wish I could find the way to "hit her right!"

Quote:

Originally posted by onodrim
Everyone woman is different. It all depends how her body is wired essentially. For example, I myself actually enjoy penetration more than outside stimulation, although both are good.

Although, it is more common than not to have a great deal more sensitivity in the clit than the inside of the vagina. It's nothing to worry about, if she prefers to orgasm from clit stimulation, then just keep on with that. However, perhaps if she'd be more willing to try penetration more often, she may find she'd enjoy that more as well. Also, make sure you use lots of lube. Sometimes if the vagina is too dry, penetration can be painful, and therefore not too pleasing.

She likes oral plenty, and it makes her very wet. She cums from it most of the time, and usually its after she's orgasmed from oral that we have intercourse.

onodrim, I'm curious: is there a certain "spot" inside that does it for you, or is it just the whole experience of penetration that you enjoy? I've never been able to find my wife's "spot." Do you orgasm from penetration without any direct stimulation of your clit? My wife has never cum from fucking. Never. I enjoy penetration (it's something about having a penis :O)) and it would be so much more enjoyable if she enjoyed it too. Most of the time it's obvious that she is just doing it for me, and she would just as soon be reading a book.

Thanks to everyone for responding.

urizenxvii · 08-11-2004, 06:27 PM

actually, I've been meaning to post and ask about this very same thing--my gf doesn't particularly enjoy penetration either... she says that she "enjoys the closeness" but doesn't get any stimulation from it. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in my concern for *her* enjoyment.

Aladdin Sane · 08-11-2004, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by urizenxvii
actually, I've been meaning to post and ask about this very same thing--my gf doesn't particularly enjoy penetration either... she says that she "enjoys the closeness" but doesn't get any stimulation from it. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in my concern for *her* enjoyment.

Yeah, I know what you are saying. It's nice to know there are others who are going through the same thing.
And I've got to come clean: I'm not totally unselfish in this matter. The thing is that for me, the idea that she is enjoying it, that she is getting off to it, well, that is the sexiest thing there is. In the past, when I was fucking with a girl, and she started showing signs of really being into it, really cumming hard, well, that could bring me to orgasm immediately. As it stands now, it is very clear that penetration bores her. As you can imagine, her lack to enthusiasm is quite the downer for me.

aphroditeskiss1 · 08-11-2004, 10:45 PM

I've read in a medical website that while the vast majority of women do posses a g spot, some are born without it. Your wife may not have one at all. It might also be that because she thinks she won't enjoy it she's not. Ask her, next time you penetrate, for her to focus on every feeling going on within her and when and if there's one she really likes, to focus only on that one. Also, have you tried stimulating her clit while having sex? That may help her enjoy it way more.

onodrim · 08-12-2004, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aladdin Sane

onodrim, I'm curious: is there a certain "spot" inside that does it for you, or is it just the whole experience of penetration that you enjoy? I've never been able to find my wife's "spot." Do you orgasm from penetration without any direct stimulation of your clit?

For me, it's just the whole experience of penetration, I can come from that even without direct clit stimulation. I'm just lucky I guess.

However, I know that I also have a few certain spots that if you hit it just right, the sensations are more powerful.

Harshaw · 08-12-2004, 01:42 AM

I have 2 really silly ideas. I'm going to throw them out there and then run and hide while people laugh.

I'm just wondering from a psychological stand point, what would happen if you stimulated the clit while penetrating her. Pick positions that would give you access and while you are pounding away, play with the clit area. Over time you might be able to condition her to enjoy this activity.

The other idea falls along similar lines, look for positions that of their very nature stimulate the clit. With my girlfriend (or friend, or whatever she is at this moment in time) when she is on top, it appears to put some friction on the clit if she is seated correctly.

ShaniFaye · 08-12-2004, 03:02 AM

I did not have my first g-spot orgasm until I was 32...I was convinced it wasnt possible for me, then bam...I met some one who not only hit it but hit it right and also gave me my first multiple orgasm as well.

Have you tried oral to get her to that "point" and instead of her getting off that way penetrate her right when she's close?

doncalypso · 08-12-2004, 05:50 AM

I once saw a TV advertisement for a product called Climatique that is supposed to stimulate the nerve endings on the woman's vulva (if I remember correctly). I think it is applied like lube but will stimulate a woman so much that she's guaranteed an orgasm every time.

Go to http://www.climatique.tv to check it out, and also check out their FAQ link at http://store.yahoo.com/climatique/info.html and hopefully it might be the thing you and your wife need.

Bentley Little · 08-12-2004, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Harshaw
I have 2 really silly ideas. I'm going to throw them out there and then run and hide while people laugh.

I'm just wondering from a psychological stand point, what would happen if you stimulated the clit while penetrating her. Pick positions that would give you access and while you are pounding away, play with the clit area. Over time you might be able to condition her to enjoy this activity.

The other idea falls along similar lines, look for positions that of their very nature stimulate the clit. With my girlfriend (or friend, or whatever she is at this moment in time) when she is on top, it appears to put some friction on the clit if she is seated correctly.

Harshaw, before I read your post, I was thinking along the same lines, but slightly different. The brain is the most powerful, adjustable and versatile tool the human body has. What if she were to begin "pretending" that she were enjoying it (as I am sure that would definitely be an upper for you) and over time, she may come around to actually start really enjoying it.

Could it also be that she has some sort of hang up that was a result of a past experience that she may never have told you due to embarassment? Or she is ashamed that she cannot cum that way and therefore has linked failure to unenjoyability (is that a word?)

Aladdin Sane · 08-12-2004, 02:50 PM

You guys are so great. I really appreciate all of your responses.

Harshaw-- I frequently massage her clit while we are fucking and she enjoys it a lot but she has rarely if ever orgasmed that way. As far as I know, she has only had orgasms by two methods. One, I lick her pussy until she cums. This she loves, and when I do it (surprisingly) she often asks me to insert a finger into her vagina. I have searched and searched for her G-spot, as has she. I can feel an elongated spongy area just behind her clit on her front vaginal wall, but massaging it gets no reaction. As long as I am licking her clit, her pussy is very tight (even on just one finger) and it obviously pulses when I lick her clit. Secondly, I penetrate her missionary style and she masturbates to orgasm. It is important to her that I don't move very much while this is happening because it causes her to "lose her concentration." Occasionally I end up feeling that I am in the way of her masturbation session. Still, I take what I can get.
When we get down to fucking, usually after she has cum from one of the two methods described above, her pussy does not seem tight at all. Her clit is too sensitive to get anywhere near it. She does what she can to get me to cum, but I can always sense that she is only doing it for me. She's not really excited by it.
She can only cum once, and her orgasm is always very short. From her outward appearance, it seems to quickly "sneak up on her," hit softly, and just as quickly disapear-- five seconds max. She then pushes me away because she becomes super sensitive.

aphroditeskiss1--
I'm going to ask her to concentrate on what she feels during penetration.

Bentley Little-- I'll also ask her to begin "pretending" that she is enjoying it. Who knows?

onodrim-- thanks for your answers. You are "sweet and sexy!"

doncalypso-- have you ever tried the product? Has anyone here?

ShaniFaye-- your story gives me hope. But tell us more: how did you figure yourself out after 32 years?

doncalypso · 08-13-2004, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aladdin Sane
You guys are so great. I really appreciate all of your responses.

doncalypso-- have you ever tried the product? Has anyone here?

In all honesty I've never tried Climatique (and to my knowledge my girlfriend hasn't tried it either). I just saw the advertisement for it once on late-night TV, so I figured it would probably be worth a shot.

ShaniFaye · 08-13-2004, 03:56 AM

Aladdin Sane I wish I knew how to answer that, I didnt figure myself out, lol I knew gspots existed....Im not big on masturbating (when I do its usually just clitoral stimulation) so I never obsessed about looking for it myself, I got married when I was 22 and quite honestly my sex before then was more about me pleasing the guy than worrying about myself.

fast forward to 2002 when Im 35 (that is what I should have put NOT 32, it was a typo) When Dave and I had sex the first time...I knew I felt something different than normal and its a wierd feeling when you dont know what it is and then BAM the orgasm hit me out of no where, lol and it seemed like it was never going to stop. The only time his dick hits me "right" is with me on top either forwards or backwards but not sitting straight up. It doesnt happen in any other position.

I really wish I could have had an answer for you....I did all the "tricks" in the womens magazines and never could figure it out so I just gave up and stuck with c-orgasms cause I was fine with that

la petite moi · 08-13-2004, 10:50 AM

I'm a girl and I know that I just don't feel any orgasmic feelings when I am penetrated. I enjoy it, sure, but clit stimulation is what I need for an orgasm.

Aladdin Sane · 08-14-2004, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by la petite moi
I'm a girl and I know that I just don't feel any orgasmic feelings when I am penetrated. I enjoy it, sure, but clit stimulation is what I need for an orgasm.

But you do enjoy it, somehow, right?
Can you orgasm while being penetrated if at the same time your clit is being stimulated by his fingers or yours?

Acetylene · 08-16-2004, 12:34 PM

I have three things to say:

1. Does she masturbate? She may have conditioned her vagina to feel sensations that no penis can match. I no longer masturbate after I realized that penises felt boring, and I LOVE sex and was not willing to compromise that!

2. Can she flex her kegel muscles at will? This ability can help her to inprove her sensations, and also get longer and better orgasms. They also can give her more control over her body, so she can help in the "search for sensation." Might I add that you are being very diligent and good to her to put all this effort in, seeing as it's my opinion that women's genitals are more difficult to navigate than a coral reef in a hurricane so it's up to the woman to make sure her man hits home!

3. I've seen vibrators which fit over a man's penis to touch her clit with each thrust. If all else fails, go the mechanical route

08-09-2004, 04:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	Vagina lacking sensitivity My wife has little desire for penetration. I can't blame her: she doesn't really get anything out of it. She isn't excited by penetration alone. Her clit seems to be the only sensitive area of her genitals. On occasion she will ask me to put my dick in her, but only after she has orgasmed or wants to get it over with. I've tried g-spot massage but it doesn't work. Have any of you guys experienced this with a girl? Do any of you girls have the same lack of sensitivity or desire in your vagina? __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

08-09-2004, 04:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
onodrim Cosmically Curious Location: Chicago, IL	Everyone woman is different. It all depends how her body is wired essentially. For example, I myself actually enjoy penetration more than outside stimulation, although both are good. Although, it is more common than not to have a great deal more sensitivity in the clit than the inside of the vagina. It's nothing to worry about, if she prefers to orgasm from clit stimulation, then just keep on with that. However, perhaps if she'd be more willing to try penetration more often, she may find she'd enjoy that more as well. Also, make sure you use lots of lube. Sometimes if the vagina is too dry, penetration can be painful, and therefore not too pleasing. __________________ "The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides" -Carl Sagan

08-09-2004, 04:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Has she had any children, because that can loosen up the muscles in the walls ofthe vagina, making them seem unsenstive. Kegel exercises can help to tighten up the walls __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-09-2004, 05:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I know that for me certain positions really dont do much for me, doggie for instance....I cant get off that way at all...the best one for me is on top so that I can be in control and work towards the g-spot orgasm. Do ya'll experiment with different positions to see if there is one that "hits" her right? __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-11-2004, 06:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
urizenxvii Tilted Location: location, location	actually, I've been meaning to post and ask about this very same thing--my gf doesn't particularly enjoy penetration either... she says that she "enjoys the closeness" but doesn't get any stimulation from it. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in my concern for her enjoyment. __________________ BOOYAH!

08-09-2004, 05:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
Toecutter Tilted Location: Montana	I read the title of this thread as "vagina lacking senibility"! Lacking either sensitivity or sensiblity is not a good thing, could one be dependent upon the other? Sorry for the hijack. Carry on.

08-11-2004, 10:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
aphroditeskiss1 Insane Location: Albuquerque, NM	I've read in a medical website that while the vast majority of women do posses a g spot, some are born without it. Your wife may not have one at all. It might also be that because she thinks she won't enjoy it she's not. Ask her, next time you penetrate, for her to focus on every feeling going on within her and when and if there's one she really likes, to focus only on that one. Also, have you tried stimulating her clit while having sex? That may help her enjoy it way more. __________________ "You always said destiny would blow me away. But nothing's gonna blow me away"- Something Coporate " I do not pop pills! I take them and I eat them..." - Foamy's friend

08-12-2004, 01:42 AM	#11 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	I have 2 really silly ideas. I'm going to throw them out there and then run and hide while people laugh. I'm just wondering from a psychological stand point, what would happen if you stimulated the clit while penetrating her. Pick positions that would give you access and while you are pounding away, play with the clit area. Over time you might be able to condition her to enjoy this activity. The other idea falls along similar lines, look for positions that of their very nature stimulate the clit. With my girlfriend (or friend, or whatever she is at this moment in time) when she is on top, it appears to put some friction on the clit if she is seated correctly. __________________ This too shall pass.

08-12-2004, 03:02 AM	#12 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I did not have my first g-spot orgasm until I was 32...I was convinced it wasnt possible for me, then bam...I met some one who not only hit it but hit it right and also gave me my first multiple orgasm as well. Have you tried oral to get her to that "point" and instead of her getting off that way penetrate her right when she's close? __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-12-2004, 05:50 AM	#13 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	I once saw a TV advertisement for a product called Climatique that is supposed to stimulate the nerve endings on the woman's vulva (if I remember correctly). I think it is applied like lube but will stimulate a woman so much that she's guaranteed an orgasm every time. Go to http://www.climatique.tv to check it out, and also check out their FAQ link at http://store.yahoo.com/climatique/info.html and hopefully it might be the thing you and your wife need. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

08-12-2004, 02:50 PM	#15 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	You guys are so great. I really appreciate all of your responses. Harshaw-- I frequently massage her clit while we are fucking and she enjoys it a lot but she has rarely if ever orgasmed that way. As far as I know, she has only had orgasms by two methods. One, I lick her pussy until she cums. This she loves, and when I do it (surprisingly) she often asks me to insert a finger into her vagina. I have searched and searched for her G-spot, as has she. I can feel an elongated spongy area just behind her clit on her front vaginal wall, but massaging it gets no reaction. As long as I am licking her clit, her pussy is very tight (even on just one finger) and it obviously pulses when I lick her clit. Secondly, I penetrate her missionary style and she masturbates to orgasm. It is important to her that I don't move very much while this is happening because it causes her to "lose her concentration." Occasionally I end up feeling that I am in the way of her masturbation session. Still, I take what I can get. When we get down to fucking, usually after she has cum from one of the two methods described above, her pussy does not seem tight at all. Her clit is too sensitive to get anywhere near it. She does what she can to get me to cum, but I can always sense that she is only doing it for me. She's not really excited by it. She can only cum once, and her orgasm is always very short. From her outward appearance, it seems to quickly "sneak up on her," hit softly, and just as quickly disapear-- five seconds max. She then pushes me away because she becomes super sensitive. aphroditeskiss1-- I'm going to ask her to concentrate on what she feels during penetration. Bentley Little-- I'll also ask her to begin "pretending" that she is enjoying it. Who knows? onodrim-- thanks for your answers. You are "sweet and sexy!" doncalypso-- have you ever tried the product? Has anyone here? ShaniFaye-- your story gives me hope. But tell us more: how did you figure yourself out after 32 years? __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam. Last edited by Aladdin Sane; 08-12-2004 at 03:20 PM..

08-13-2004, 03:56 AM	#17 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Aladdin Sane I wish I knew how to answer that, I didnt figure myself out, lol I knew gspots existed....Im not big on masturbating (when I do its usually just clitoral stimulation) so I never obsessed about looking for it myself, I got married when I was 22 and quite honestly my sex before then was more about me pleasing the guy than worrying about myself. fast forward to 2002 when Im 35 (that is what I should have put NOT 32, it was a typo) When Dave and I had sex the first time...I knew I felt something different than normal and its a wierd feeling when you dont know what it is and then BAM the orgasm hit me out of no where, lol and it seemed like it was never going to stop. The only time his dick hits me "right" is with me on top either forwards or backwards but not sitting straight up. It doesnt happen in any other position. I really wish I could have had an answer for you....I did all the "tricks" in the womens magazines and never could figure it out so I just gave up and stuck with c-orgasms cause I was fine with that __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-13-2004, 10:50 AM	#18 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	I'm a girl and I know that I just don't feel any orgasmic feelings when I am penetrated. I enjoy it, sure, but clit stimulation is what I need for an orgasm.

08-16-2004, 12:34 PM	#20 (permalink)
Acetylene Addict Location: under a rock	I have three things to say: 1. Does she masturbate? She may have conditioned her vagina to feel sensations that no penis can match. I no longer masturbate after I realized that penises felt boring, and I LOVE sex and was not willing to compromise that! 2. Can she flex her kegel muscles at will? This ability can help her to inprove her sensations, and also get longer and better orgasms. They also can give her more control over her body, so she can help in the "search for sensation." Might I add that you are being very diligent and good to her to put all this effort in, seeing as it's my opinion that women's genitals are more difficult to navigate than a coral reef in a hurricane so it's up to the woman to make sure her man hits home! 3. I've seen vibrators which fit over a man's penis to touch her clit with each thrust. If all else fails, go the mechanical route __________________ There's no justice. There's just us.