Past fuckbuddy possibly pregnant, how do i tell new gf? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Shifter59 · 07-06-2004, 08:46 PM

OK so here's the deal, and to be honest I've never actually posted in this forum, only read and helped out other people.....so give me your honest opinion.........

A few months ago I was having regular sex with a certain girl, let's call her A. Come to find out she is pregnant,(the pill isn't 100% effective, can i get an amen), any reasonable circumstance would suggest that this child is without a doubt mine. But here's where it gets sticky, a few people have told me that the pregnant one has told a few past boyfriends that it was theirs...now is this in fear that i wont talk to her? or is she trying to pick and choose who the father is? I am sligthly confused as i've never been in this situation before. I have moved to another state, and (no it wasn't because of this problem, it was already arranged when this happened, )
I am about 75% sure this child is mine, but it's not born yet, do i tell the new gf that I have now? Or do i wait till the child is born, or at least tested or we all end up on Jerry Springer in 12 years? I want my new gf to know everything about my life, including this possible horrible situation, I really love her......how do i tell her? should i tell her? and should i believe the one that's pregnant just cause she said it's mine?

thanks for any of your help, ask question is i confused any of you guys

Holo · 07-06-2004, 08:53 PM

If you're serious at all of anything long term, tell her. If she came after this fuckbuddy then there shouldn't be an issue that way,and if there is you don't want someone so damn jealous anyway.

As far as the fuckbuddy; Get the DNA test, especially since you hear she's running around drumming up fathers for the sprog. She could be playing all of you and could have backdoor man #5 in the wings. If she starts talking so much as a word about child support, seek counsel in your state and possible yor old state as well. Be prepared. This girl is sounding shifty and is not to be trusted at face value. Remember, you are the fucked that is fucked right now, not her. You lost the power of choice right at the moment of ejaculation, so try to protect what little rights you have left. Sorry to sound harsh, I just don't like this kinda situation, especially since she sounds like she's trying to play multiple men for sympathy/money.

lunchbox · 07-06-2004, 08:54 PM

i think the best thing to do is tell her there's a possibility of it being yours. i think its reasonable for her to be a little upset about that but its still a jump-ball about the kid really. tell her its a maybe and tell your ex-fuckbuddy if she thinks (or you do) its yours to get it tested ASAP. because no use in bringing this probelm into your life if its not even yours. and the way i see it, if the new girlfriend splits because of the situation, you're better off and you'll find someone more understanding. either way, good luck.

Shifter59 · 07-06-2004, 09:26 PM

I was really thinking I was going to tell her, I just haven't had the perfect (Kodak) moment yet, she knows i have been thinking about somethign really hard and i know for a fact she wouldn't leave me because of this situation at all, but it's more of an embarassment issue, she knows a lot about my past sex life and stuff but this kinda takes the cake, the shocker so to speak

Buk · 07-06-2004, 11:11 PM

definitely consult a lawyer, you want to make sure you are covered the second she lists you on the birth certificate...

Good luck with the current girlfriend

Prince · 07-07-2004, 12:18 AM

I'd talk to a lawyer, post haste. How your current woman takes it is the least of your worries right now.

I wouldn't recommend waiting for the baby to be born before you move on this. You were man enough to fuck someone you didn't love, now be a man enough to step up and be honest about it. The longer you wait the worse it'll get.

And Holo, where'd you get that avatar? It's incredibly hot.

Key · 07-07-2004, 03:26 AM

i wouldn't freak the gf out necessarily just yet. you don't have anything to tell her but maybes. maybes that are gonna run through her mind and haunt her with questions you don't have the answers to. she's going to go through a huge range of feelings from hurt, anger, frustration, who knows what.

first thing's first. protect yourself with information. this means confirmation with DNA results, as well legal advice. THEN you can tell your gf when you know for sure.

how did you feel when you found out there's a possbility that you have a child out there somewhere? but not even positive, just the mere uncertainty? doesn't it drive you nuts to NOT KNOW? why would you put your girlfriend through that.

if she even suspects though, you might as well come out and say it. if she knows it has to do with your promiscous sex life, and that it's come back to bite you in the ass, she's going to suspect the worse.

Shifter59 · 07-07-2004, 06:11 AM

What kind of lawyer do you go find for these things? I mean I wouldn't know where to start except the yellow pages.....I am really lucky actually that the baby's momma isn't freaking out at me or anything, and her family is going to help her take care of it, she is really handling it pretty well so far, she herself has already been through a life without a father and the court battles and stupid shit so she has told me that she doesn't want to do that with this situation..

Holo · 07-07-2004, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shifter59
What kind of lawyer do you go find for these things? I mean I wouldn't know where to start except the yellow pages.....I am really lucky actually that the baby's momma isn't freaking out at me or anything, and her family is going to help her take care of it, she is really handling it pretty well so far, she herself has already been through a life without a father and the court battles and stupid shit so she has told me that she doesn't want to do that with this situation..

Just try not to piss her off, because things can get ugly quickly. I wouldn't even tell babymomma that you have sought legal cousel until she makes an indication that she will name you as the father.

Key · 07-07-2004, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Holo
Just try not to piss her off, because things can get ugly quickly. I wouldn't even tell babymomma that you have sought legal cousel until she makes an indication that she will name you as the father.

yea definitely. she'd probably think you were trying to weasel out of it or something.

Yakk · 07-07-2004, 07:57 AM

Are you thinking about claiming custody in the event it is your child? In which case, the rules may change more than a little bit.

07-06-2004, 08:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
Shifter59 Upright Location: Bellingham, WA	Past fuckbuddy possibly pregnant, how do i tell new gf? OK so here's the deal, and to be honest I've never actually posted in this forum, only read and helped out other people.....so give me your honest opinion......... A few months ago I was having regular sex with a certain girl, let's call her A. Come to find out she is pregnant,(the pill isn't 100% effective, can i get an amen), any reasonable circumstance would suggest that this child is without a doubt mine. But here's where it gets sticky, a few people have told me that the pregnant one has told a few past boyfriends that it was theirs...now is this in fear that i wont talk to her? or is she trying to pick and choose who the father is? I am sligthly confused as i've never been in this situation before. I have moved to another state, and (no it wasn't because of this problem, it was already arranged when this happened, ) I am about 75% sure this child is mine, but it's not born yet, do i tell the new gf that I have now? Or do i wait till the child is born, or at least tested or we all end up on Jerry Springer in 12 years? I want my new gf to know everything about my life, including this possible horrible situation, I really love her......how do i tell her? should i tell her? and should i believe the one that's pregnant just cause she said it's mine? thanks for any of your help, ask question is i confused any of you guys __________________ I kissed a drunk girl~Something Corporate

07-06-2004, 08:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	If you're serious at all of anything long term, tell her. If she came after this fuckbuddy then there shouldn't be an issue that way,and if there is you don't want someone so damn jealous anyway. As far as the fuckbuddy; Get the DNA test, especially since you hear she's running around drumming up fathers for the sprog. She could be playing all of you and could have backdoor man #5 in the wings. If she starts talking so much as a word about child support, seek counsel in your state and possible yor old state as well. Be prepared. This girl is sounding shifty and is not to be trusted at face value. Remember, you are the fucked that is fucked right now, not her. You lost the power of choice right at the moment of ejaculation, so try to protect what little rights you have left. Sorry to sound harsh, I just don't like this kinda situation, especially since she sounds like she's trying to play multiple men for sympathy/money. __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

07-06-2004, 08:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
lunchbox Thank God hockey is back Location: Deeeeeetroit	i think the best thing to do is tell her there's a possibility of it being yours. i think its reasonable for her to be a little upset about that but its still a jump-ball about the kid really. tell her its a maybe and tell your ex-fuckbuddy if she thinks (or you do) its yours to get it tested ASAP. because no use in bringing this probelm into your life if its not even yours. and the way i see it, if the new girlfriend splits because of the situation, you're better off and you'll find someone more understanding. either way, good luck. __________________ A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

07-06-2004, 09:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
Shifter59 Upright Location: Bellingham, WA	I was really thinking I was going to tell her, I just haven't had the perfect (Kodak) moment yet, she knows i have been thinking about somethign really hard and i know for a fact she wouldn't leave me because of this situation at all, but it's more of an embarassment issue, she knows a lot about my past sex life and stuff but this kinda takes the cake, the shocker so to speak __________________ I kissed a drunk girl~Something Corporate

07-07-2004, 12:18 AM	#6 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	I'd talk to a lawyer, post haste. How your current woman takes it is the least of your worries right now. I wouldn't recommend waiting for the baby to be born before you move on this. You were man enough to fuck someone you didn't love, now be a man enough to step up and be honest about it. The longer you wait the worse it'll get. And Holo, where'd you get that avatar? It's incredibly hot. __________________ Who is John Galt?

07-06-2004, 11:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
Buk Addict Location: Seattle, WA	definitely consult a lawyer, you want to make sure you are covered the second she lists you on the birth certificate... Good luck with the current girlfriend

07-07-2004, 03:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
Key Crazy	i wouldn't freak the gf out necessarily just yet. you don't have anything to tell her but maybes. maybes that are gonna run through her mind and haunt her with questions you don't have the answers to. she's going to go through a huge range of feelings from hurt, anger, frustration, who knows what. first thing's first. protect yourself with information. this means confirmation with DNA results, as well legal advice. THEN you can tell your gf when you know for sure. how did you feel when you found out there's a possbility that you have a child out there somewhere? but not even positive, just the mere uncertainty? doesn't it drive you nuts to NOT KNOW? why would you put your girlfriend through that. if she even suspects though, you might as well come out and say it. if she knows it has to do with your promiscous sex life, and that it's come back to bite you in the ass, she's going to suspect the worse.

07-07-2004, 06:11 AM	#8 (permalink)
Shifter59 Upright Location: Bellingham, WA	What kind of lawyer do you go find for these things? I mean I wouldn't know where to start except the yellow pages.....I am really lucky actually that the baby's momma isn't freaking out at me or anything, and her family is going to help her take care of it, she is really handling it pretty well so far, she herself has already been through a life without a father and the court battles and stupid shit so she has told me that she doesn't want to do that with this situation.. __________________ I kissed a drunk girl~Something Corporate

07-07-2004, 07:57 AM	#11 (permalink)
Yakk Wehret Den Anfängen! Location: Ontario, Canada	Are you thinking about claiming custody in the event it is your child? In which case, the rules may change more than a little bit. __________________ Last edited by JHVH : 10-29-4004 BC at 09:00 PM. Reason: Time for a rest.